Feeling Really Bad Re. One of My Old Horses

Tierra

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Think this is nothing more than a minor rant really
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In my teens, I had a lovely 6 year old Dutch gelding. He was grade B but had been over faced and basically, aside from tiny tiny fences, would tell you where to go. He was my first dressagey horse if you like... Id always been interested in dressage but no one in the family was. We bought him at the time, for 6k.

Now, I kept him for 3 years.. taking him to 9 years old. In that time, I'll hold my hands up and say he didnt do anything. He was my darling... I was still showjumping due to family pressure and he was the one who i could "prance about on" and do a bit of shoulder in and leg yield and pretend i was a dressage rider.

I sold him when i first moved abroad... as a 9 year old.. to a close friend of mine. She also bought a youngster i had who was very good. I sold both horses to her for £5k (as in.. 2.5 each). This one probably wasnt worth a lot more.. aside from him being very flashy with good papers, he lacked experience. The second horse in the deal was jumping DCs at discovery and without doubt had the scope to go further (and time showed this). But I saw it as her doing me a favour.. i needed the horses gone, fast and i wanted good homes.

During the time she has had my two horses, this one has been almost permanently lame. He passed a 5 star vetting when she took him from me, but after quite a lot of pressure over a summer (they wanted him jumping again), he went severely wrong. Result was he had surgery on his patella.

He hasnt been in a whole lot of work since.. but i know for part of it at least, he's been lame.

I got a phone call from her son earlier explaining that she'd had an accident. One of his youngsters had knocked her off the horse box ramp and she'd ended up having surgery on one of the vertebra at the top of her neck. Its now all pinned together and the doctors said its very very doubtful that she'll ever ride again.

He asked me if i wanted the horse back...

Now immediatly i did... i loved that horse so so much and he's a nice type. He's no world beater, he's 14 now and done basically nothing for most of his life. He'd possibly manage a medium test at a push but no higher and it would require a LOT of work to get him there. They've done nothing with him and he's not had any work done on his schooling since I had him. He's not consistently sound... he's not an easy ride but I still love him.

Then came the next bit... they want £5k.

Now, I dont actually know why i asked the price... once logical thinking started to kick i know that at present, we cant afford to buy another (we want a house damnit!
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). We'd always said once we were settled here, we'd look for a youngster for me but wanted something with the potential to go to grand prix.

I feel dreadful because I feel some sort of responsibility to him. When I was a stupid kid and he was the flashy 4 year old on the yard, i remember promising him that id have him. At 6 he came to me but then i let him go. Now i feel i owe it to him. On the other hand.. i feel slightly annoyed at my friend but im not sure I should! I know horse prices are high now and 5k doesnt buy you much.. BUT, by the time i got him here and tacked out, he'd stand me at about 6.5k

That feels a lot of money for a horse that a) I sold her for 2.5k as a 9 year old with a 5 star vetting and a decent amount of potential (prestige saddle and bridle went with him btw) and b) a horse that is now 14, has STILL done nothing and has on-off lameness issues.

I spoke to my mum who just said they were trying to play on my emotions and know how much i like the horse.

So now im both slightly p*ssed off because i feel they're trying to take me for a ride (so to speak) but also guilty and angry at myself for expecting him to either be offered back cheaply or (my mums suggestion) for free knowing he'd have a home for life.

Am i a bad person? Feel free to tell me if i am btw... I just cant decide if im grumpy because i know i cant have him back, or grumpy because i feel ripped off.
 
Lame 14 year old? I would think it cheeky for ask for any more than £1000, especially as she is a friend.

Sounds like they are taking the mickey because they know how much you love him. They will definately not get £5000 for him by putting him up for sale and allowing people to have him vetted.

I would make them an offer, tell them to take it or leave it!
 
I think they are trying to rip you off to be honest.

Im amazed they want any money for the horse to be honest, I would have thought they would just have wanted you to cover the transport costs.

I mean there is no way she will have people knocking her door down to pay that price for him is there?

What a situation to be in, any ideas what you are going to do?
 
Aw you're not a bad person in fact your friend is to expect you to pay 5 grand for a horse than has lameness problems.
I would ask your friend if she will accept the 2500 you sold him for in the first place seeing as he is now 14, has not really progressed and has lameness issues which now he is 14 is not getting younger he could end up on painkillers for the rest of his life at a cost.
Tell her that you would seriously like him back but that you cannot afford the 5 grand she is asking, as you are saving for a house. You also have the transport costs to consider and also you don't believe he is worth that much. I could be wrong as I am no expert on horse prices but I would guess that what she is asking is more than he is worth and would fetch on the open market considering his age and current and chronic lameness issues.
It is worth asking surely?
Good luck x
Cazx
 
Walk away, its sad but you aren't a bad person. If she gives him to you, fair enough! Doubt she'll get that much for him anyway, she is dreaming!
 
Hmm thanks, that does make me feel better.

I honestly felt that either she should have asked me a very small amount or, as my mum suggested, offered him back to me on the condition i dont pass him on (i'd sign whatever she wanted to say i wouldnt and she KNOWS me.. only horses ive ever sold were to her!)

But i know im bias as well
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Im going to tell her son, when i speak with him, that I dont have the £5k regardless of whether or not i want him and that if they want to let him go for considerably less for the sake of a good home, then to contact me.

He's not consistently lame.. in fact if im honest, i have no god damn clue whats wrong with him.

It cost me £1,000 to move Jack here (although fair enough, he travelled alone) and he'd need new tack... so he'd seriously be standing us at over £7 :| I know that wont buy me a swishy GP capable youngster but its still a very large chunk of money to me ! (I should also mention, it would kill my chance of having said youngster since 3 horses on livery is a no go).
 
£7k is £7k and can buy you a lot mroe than a lame horse at the end of the day, they are playing on your love for this horse, and its shameful.

The sad thing is if you didnt love him so much they probably wouldnt even be trying this.

I wouldnt pay more than £1500, its going to cost you that most likely to get him over to you now, and not to mention livery etc, also do really consider if you DO actually want him, if its a choice between a youngster you can do GP on, or this older horse who may not be capable of anything, well they all cost the same amount to keep dont they, and you dont want to look back and regret your decsion.

I just cant believe this friend is trying to play you like this.
 
Yea im quite upset about it also
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The horse has has issues I know that, but when i sold him, he had a completly clean bill of health and was sound with the potential to be a classy lower level competition horse. Never a super star dont get me wrong, but hes stunning, could work nicely and would still jump smaller stuff. While he's had a lot of on-off lameness, even when he is sound she's never really worked him (which imo, is part of the problem with his lameness).

The second horse i sold them took their son to newcomers and really started him off with SJing. Everyone told me i sold them both for too little but i wanted good homes and some cash to tide me over.

Its just.. if it was me and i suddenly couldnt ride and had a semi lame horse who i claimed to love dearly.. if i knew there was a good home waiting id give him away
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Hey ho! Some things aren't meant to be and perhaps this is the sign that i should just keep waiting til we can afford my superstar youngster. (Other thing is my boy is 14 also and i have a mare back in the UK at 18... i dont want ultimately to end up with 3 OAPS to support and nothing to actually ride
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(Other thing is my boy is 14 also and i have a mare back in the UK at 18... i dont want ultimately to end up with 3 OAPS to support and nothing to actually ride
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That is a very good point!
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I know its hard because you love this horse but I think you should wait for your youngster, if your friend sees sense and lets you take the horse for free, then all the better, but dont let her make you feel like you have to rescue him or something, if she was that desperate to find him a home she wouldnt be trying to get 5k out of you!
 
Bloody cheek if you ask me! A horse with soundness issues who doesn't really jump and is 14 years old - they'd be lucky to get what they paid for him tbh!

They're taking the pee, specially as you sold the other youngster for cheap to them!

Really if they were decent they'd give him back to you for free.

You don't owe him anything but if you really want him back I'd offer a nominal amount of 1500 or so, and don't budge. Most likely they're just trying to make money out of your sentiment, and I think if you don't cave they would sell him to you for cheap.
 
I agree with xspiralx - they are taking you for a ride. Trying to get money out of your feelings and thats not fair. I'd offer a low price and stick by it and perhaps point out the cost of upkeep, transport and lameness etc. I hope you sort everything out
 
I really feel for you xx


My jaw just dropped when i read that last bit about them looking the 5k for him , the fecking cheek of her .

Really cant believe there is people out there that would do this .

you call her a friend ??

Thats not on , she knows how much you loved that horse , shes not a friend im afraid .

And the best thing about it is that she got her son to ring you ., I would have been livid with her .

((hugs)) to you
 
I agree with everyone that's written before but can I ask if you have actually spoken to "friend" or just the son? Is it possible it is him trying it on trying to be a clever dick?

I also say tell them to jump for that amount of money. If it was me, it would be £1000 tops, take it or leave it, you've got to transport him over and get him sorted out after all. But I still think, after all this time and his problems they should be begging you to have him - and have him gift wrapped for you too!
 
Tierra
You love this horse....but he does have some problems...walk away from him now, if you can before she uses your obviously too kind heart.
In 4 years time, you'll be awash with geriatric ponies....and you don't deserve to be treated this badly.
Let her try to sell him...and don't apologise for not buying him!
Hope your friend has a change of heart/conscience!
S :-)
 
MFH - You are correct, i only spoke to her son. I dont *think* he'd be like that with me. Matt was about 8 when I first met him... he had his first pony stabled opposite my horse. I used to take him out on hacks with me and he loved it because at that time, his mum didnt have a horse and used to send him out with all the old biddies who made him walk everywhere (we used to go galloping through the fields instead). So Ive basically watched him grow up. Of course... theres always the chance hes having me on but he did say he'd get his mum to call me to talk more.

Shilasdair - I know you're right. I keep thinking of him as the 6 year old "baby" i had and the fact is he's not anymore :/ Like i said, my current boy is 14 this year and while in good health he's still getting older. My mare in the UK is 18 and retired now :| Another aging horse (and one in not great shape) isn't what i need.

You're all so great though! I feel so much better! Cant thank you all enough!
 
Its hard to ignore your heart Tierra, but you are so much better off waiting for the right youngster. Before getting Beau I was going to buy a 13yr old, partly because I felt sorry for him and wanted him to have a good loving home, however I listened to my head instead and Im glad I did, the 13yr old was already showing signs of wear, and now I have Beau and I wouldnt change him for the world. Plus he is only 6 so I hope to have many years ahead with him.

If I had went for the older horse, I would now have a 14yr old and an 18yr old, Im all for having your horse grow old with you, but to buy into the heartache that comes with age for 5k, when you really want a youngster to do great things with, it isnt the right thing to do.
You deserve to have the horse you want.
 
I dont object to buying them older. Jack was 12 when we bought him but he passed a 5 star vetting, had clean x rays and had a vast amount of experience that I desperatly needed. I also knew his full history.

Theres no way this horse would pass a vetting
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His surgery was quite major from what i remember and he has various exclusions on his current insurance. Given how much he did so young, Id also stick my neck out and say x rays would show grim things in his joints. He's not a "young" 14 year old :/ He's also been diagnosed as a shiverer (i knew about this all along though) and while its never gotten worse Im aware it is progressive and could degenerate very fast
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Lol
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the more i read back the more i see how crazy it all is
 
Absolutely Im the same, to me age isnt important, our 18yr old is in better condition than some horses I see half his age, its how 'old' that horse is for his age, if that makes sense?!

Jack is worth his weight in gold! Like you say though this other horse isnt a 'young' 14yr old, and that makes all the difference.

Still think your friend is being shocking though!
 
Yea i do feel quite betrayed if you like :/

It was her box that Jack fell in when she tried to move him for me... he was in a really bad way when we took him back to the yard (one hind fetlock was enormous within minutes... bad chunk out of coronet band on front leg, lots of cuts and chunks missing from legs and head). She never called me afterwards to see how he was or anything which i thought was strange.

I sent her a message before we moved to denmark giving her my new contact details and just saying that i hoped everything was ok... heard nothing again until this afternoon
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Poor Jack
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Hmm well going by what you have said I dont think its friendship that has made her get in touch with you now, more who will pay he highest price for this horse, what a shame.
 
I feel really sad for you - thats a horrible situation - but echo all said above. She is obviously not a real friend. Its a shame because you would be the perfect person for him - and she should know that
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I'm sorry Tierra - this woman doesn't sound much of a friend to me. She was all too happy to take the horse at a knock down price all those years ago, sounds like she has wrecked him and now wants to make a profit (albeit general inflation in prices) - you sold her a healthy sound young horse with potential, and she now wants to sell him back to you for more money with lameness issues and of course older. If she really cared for the horse and thought a lot of you she would be grateful that you would take him on and give him a lovely home for FREE.
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Well, I think I agree with the other posters I'm afraid. What an awful situation to put you in though, you must feel so angry. Hope you get it sorted.
 
Spoke to her tonight and they do indeed want £5k for him. She kept saying over and over that if the right home doesnt come along, he wont go because he's so special. Ive found out that he's not been ridden now since October and since they're aiming him at the dressage market, they asked if i was interested in going over for a few weeks and schooling him for them with a view to getting a few tests under his belt
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Anyway, said its unlikely that im in the UK for a while now (which is true) but agree'd that if i do go over, i'll do some work with him for them
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They also tried to sell me a czech warmblood at the same time :P

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh well. OH said he wouldnt buy him anyway as he wants advice from my trainer regarding the next horse (and theres no way any of them would approve this boy
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Still feel quite bitter but its one im going to have to walk away and just hope that whoever he does go to will love him lots - he deserves it.

TY all again!
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