Feeling really down about my riding abilities

I know how you feel, unfortunately one comment by a 2 bit has been sj that owned the crappy yard I worked at told me I would never be any good and wasn’t sure why I bothered. At the time I knew that he said it because I was quitting the job. After months working for him, it just did me in, I didn’t learn anything, he dented my horse’s confidence in a lesson and generally run me raged while he sat on his butt. Dragging me into taking out riding school hacks was the last straw as that was not what I went there to work. The only good thing that came out of there was my little mare a few years before, funnily enough it was that yard that I found my love for jumping which I why I went there to work, lesson learnt.

No matter how much I told myself different that comment has haunted me ever since. I got myself and my mare to jumping affiliated with no other help and we were rarely unplaced. I worked my butt of to improve both with her and my gelding after. I've got a fab instructor now who has improved my riding and self-belief no end but I still come up against that comment no matter how hard I try. It affects my ridding in that I start a downward slope in thinking I'm rubbish and it’s pointless to carry on and I'm ruining my horse until someone kicks me, hard. Normally my instructor or my oh or sometimes I do it myself but it is hard to move on no matter how much you tell yourself it’s just words and that they mean nothing, that the person is jealous/mean/just plain nasty.

Its part of the reason I don’t like riding other peoples horses as I think that I'm going to be rubbish and a large reason why I don’t do dressage, having someone pick at your horse and riding its not healthy for someone like me who struggles so hard to overcome self-doubt.

You are more than capable and have proven that. Why she said it I have no idea but you really must try and put it out of your head and enjoy your horse.

Although please don’t think all show jumpers are like this, we’re not. In fact I have I have met few if any but then I purposely avoid toxic people like that and keep myself to myself.
 
They are not the type you would want to own her! They probably sit at the side of a ring and shred everyone, and when they loose a class they blame it on the judge knowing the winner not their abilities.

If you saw my riding you would soon realise there are people MUCH worse than you! I think you are fab you have got to where you are!

Just delete and bloc.
 
You clearly are a terrible rider. In that first photo the middle finger of your right hand is all wrong and in the last one your 6th rib on the left hand side is wonky and you have some hairs pointing the wrong way. ;)

Some people are just vile. My guess is they wanted to try to get your lovely mare for a pittance and thought this was the way to do it. I worry about ruining my share horse as his ability outstrips mine. I've done one 90 and realised that was my absolute limit even on such a gent who is capable of far more. If you've taken her from nothing to BE100 all yourself, that's a huge thing to be proud of and not something many riders could do. Ignore her and enjoy your dressage today knowing you've achieved everything yourself and not bought something where someone else has done all the work like this girl was doing.
 
I haven't read all of the comments but imagine they will be similar to this - Don't pay the slightest bit of attention!

I look up to people like you that have the ability to ride to BE100! My god, if I had half the ability and nerve that you have to ride to that level I would be over the moon.

I'm just dipping my toes into BE80 and it's terrifying me.

Please don't let some little troll get the better of you xx
 
There will always be better riders than you, and worse ones. It's how it is.
YOU know deep down what kind of rider you are. If you were truly as this email purports, then you would already know this. The fact that it has so upset you just shows how far off the mark she is. Probably having a really bad day and has taken it out on you. Shame on her.
I used to be really quite a good rider. Enough to ride BE Intermediates and do quite well. You should see me now (a few decades on). I'm all over the place haha. Really I am. So what? My horse. My fun. My rules. So I know that I don't look as elegant as some but equally, I know there's a hell of a lot worse. My horses are pretty well cared for (again, some get better care, others worse) but I'm not doing horses to be judged just as I don't judge others. I'm happy with my lot and that's all the matters to me.
Chalk this whole thing up to experience and just be glad you are not this person. She has to live with that kind of dark soul inside her every day of her life.
 
luckyoldme said:
I think an email like that says a lot more about the person that sent it than it does your riding skills, some sad old bag sat at home, had a bad day and took it out on you!
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Exactly. I honestly would not even worry yourself anymore about it, just hit delete on her email. No normal person would ever respond like that, they sound pretty messed up / highly jealous! You'll probably find they don't even have a horse and its just some teenager having a tantrum...

My riding is awful, I dressage judge actually got out of her car after my first eventing dressage test on my horse a couple of months ago and TOLD me so! I was horrified but hey ho, I ignored her and at the same venue just a few weeks later we were 6th in my mares first ever BE event so hey we can't be THAT horrific (although I fully admit my dressage leaves a lot to be desired!). You've done very well to bring your horse on to BE 100's, you're far better than you think you are ;)
 
Forget it. I would take it as a compliment that you are so important to them they felt the need to do that. But unhelpful negative opinion is pretty useless information.
They are most definetly jealous of you or the classic 'less bitch about me more - go and ride your own horse'. The amount of bitching I've had about my riding\what I'm doing over the years (and the fact that I am on a pony) I simply do not care. I've had nothing but fun with my pony for over a decade so I must be doing something right. I'm glad I provide so much enterainment for people with nothing else to do lol
 
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Honestly, there are some horrible people in the world, and it impossible to imagine their motive for doing something like this, although wishing the price to drop hugely might be a "reason".

in a way, it is a pity you deleted their email. I'm sure lots of us would love to reply on your behalf! : )

Forget them, enjoy your horse and have fun.
 
Thanks everyone- we had a good day yesterday and came 2nd in her first BD novice with 66%, with "nicely ridden" in the comments, so feeling a bit more confident now! :)
Still tempted to send her a reply along the lines of "thank you for the kind comments about my lovely horse, I will carry on ruining her with my awful riding whilst continuing to be kind and gracious to strangers. Good luck in finding someone who will sell a horse to you." But feel that may just antagonise the situation!
 
i would nt bother replying, no reasonable person would bother sending an email like that, especially since they have no intentions of buying the horse. People like that need avoiding and felt sorry for, its not the sort of thing a happy content person does!
 
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