Feeling really down, please can I have a kick up the ar$e?

miss_c

miss_c

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Before I start, yes I know I'm being stupid and this is all trivial, but it's really got to me.

Took Genie showing yesterday, on paper a good day - 1st and 2nd, but was very disappointed as she was the clear winner in the class we got 2nd in, and it was the class I've been working for all season. The winner carried a schooling whip, didn't wear gloves, and made mistakes in their individual show - Genie was hoof perfect.

Have been told this afternoon by a friend who is stabled with the judge that she had asked the judge about the class. The judge said the reason it was that way round was because the other rider looked more elegant, while I moved about too much in the saddle and the overall picture wasn't as nice. I was on a cob, there's only so far you can go to looking elegant. The other rider was skinny and on a finer new forest type.

This has REALLY upset me (I've been in tears this afternoon - don't think hormones are helping!) as the judge has basically said I was too fat to look good on my horse, and went on that to judge the class (M&M) as opposed to the individual shows. I had years of bullying and being told that a) I was too fat to ride and b) I can't ride, and it has taken me years to be reasonably confident in my riding ability, and I now feel like I've been knocked right back.

Please don't say I sound like a sore loser - I have no problem being beaten by a better horse and rider that does a better show, but I wasn't. Also please don't say 'another day another judge', 'one person's opinion', etc, I am well aware of this.

Yes I know it's small and trivial, but just needed to get it all out I guess.

Cookies if you got this far, and kisses from Genie who also seemed upset when we got back to the lorry bless her.
 
(((((hugs))))) don't feel too down about it! I had a rubbish experience at a show and it really puts you off, but remember that it is one person's opinion!! you got a first in the other class, think of the positives.

you ride a horse that is that is yours, you love and you came first with, would you have wanted to be on the other horse?????

chin up! you know you did well. start planning for the next one (just don't bother with that judge again) it always boosts my mood :) Good luck
 
What a rude and insolent judge. i actually know nothing about showing, but I thought it was about showing the horse and the rider was the one getting the horse to do their best in the show and to look correct in the right gear, not about how the rider looks shape/size wise???

Look at what some of the people who show at crufts (I know its not the same) but there clothes are awful (as are some of there dogs buts thats neither here nor there) now you wouldnt find a judge saying, well that lady just looks totally frumpy in her big orange dress and horrid clumping shoes, she definitely can't win!! Its about the DOG, surely its the same with M and M?? I actually dunno.....


..... any way you should be proud as you can first in the other class out if 10, this amazing. The best I ever did showing was fifth out of five :D. And you look great in those pics, you are clearly a very gifted rider to get Genie to do what she does and get her to shine at the right moment! that is pure gift and talent. Disregard idiot judges point and enter another show and I bet you win :D.
 
Sorry to hear you're feeling low :(
But you and Genie are great look at what you've achieved so far :)
The judge is obviously an idiot if that's how she does her judging.:mad:
 
Well the thing I picked up, from what your friend said the judge said, was that you moved around in the saddle. As far as I could tell no-one's weight was mentioned. I have a friend who prefers to be able to move in the saddle but in fact this is usually considered incorrect, especially if you want to look elegant. Have you tried 'sticky bum' breeches? I find that they can really hold you in position on the saddle. In future it would be a good idea to ask the judge for feedback at the end of the class, most judges are only too willing to be helpful.
 
Hugs to you and Genie :)

You know you have the best horse there! And odds are put someone else on her and she wouldnt win practicly every class you put her in!!
 
Sorry to hear about this - does sound very unfair IMO :/ Just ignore that day - blot it out of your memory and focus on the 1st you got :). everyone has days when things seem to get too much - i should know. (took pony to Tockwith Agricultural Show - second show ever on him. was so excited! and he played up that much we ended up having to give up without even getting into the showjumping ring :( and to top it all off it absolutely poured it down on us so my early start to make him look beautiful was wasted as by the time i got on he looked like he had just come in out the field after running through a couple of hedges.)

So smile, grab a cup of tea and enjoy your evening :) dont let anything get to you :)

Love xx
 
It really is not on for a judge to comment like this about a rider. Just put it down to experience. It is one persons opinion on just one day. Go out another time sweep the board and show them! Hugs.
 
Thanks everyone.

Here's me and Genie yesterday, showing that we CAN do it!

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You know what...... S*d the lot of them.

You love your horse, she works well for you & hopefully you have fun together.

The fact that some judge is that shallow really isn't your problem. Stick it behind you, pick yourself and get out there and show them you don't care.
 
i understand where you're coming from. I rode my new horse for the 1st time at home yesterday and the whole bloody livery yard came to watch. As a result I rode horribly as i was so nervous and hate being watched especially on my first time riding him at a new place. I was really upset and down. But today I got on him and we worked our ar$es off and really worked together which put all the people who were commenting saying he was too much and too good for me yesterday in a stunned silence. Hey, get back on and show that judge what you're made of an prove her horrible bitchy comments wrong!
Cheer up, i know how you feel :( xxx
 
What an absolutely lovely photo - the two of you look incredible. Keep going, avoid that judge like the plague and when you win you'll have every right to feel smug. Are you reading this Judge???! ;)
 
Jesus christ what a rude judge!
Having seen you both in the flesh as it were you are 100% NOT too fat to ride Genie, you two look great together, a perfect match.
Chin up, you'll be back on your m+m winning streak in no time at all :D

As for moving around in the saddle you ride her well, if you moved about in the saddle you would have been a gonner at xc, and you weren't.
 
Whilst I do feel for you not winning, I do think you're blowing this out of all proportion :D pun intended!

If the judge said (quoting your post) '...the reason it was that way round was because the other rider looked more elegant, while I moved about too much in the saddle and the overall picture wasn't as nice.' I'd be out there with an instructor trying to sort the 'moving about in the saddle' for next time.

I cannot see anywhere in what you've said that your weight has anything to do with this judge's opinion, but it clearly bothers you. So equally if I were you I'd be trying to find a way of loosing some weight so it doesn't bother you. (Personally I think you look great on Genie, as a pair, she's more than capable of carrying you and you look a fabulous rider), but then I've not watched a video just seen the stills so can't comment on the 'moving about' thing, nor can I comment on the winner as I wasn't there.
 
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Your overall picture looks good.

One thing i would say though, being a much maligned Judge myself in the past, is that i would like you to ride a little shorter.

I haven't seen you in the flesh, but from looking at past photo's of you on here, just one leather hole might make a huge difference.

And please, next time you feel that you have been harshly judged, talk to the Judge on the day, either immediately after your class or close of play.
Judges are always there to answer questions honestly and constructively.
 
If this is any help my instructor once told me:

"A bigger rider can ride more kindly on a horse and actually be better for the horse then a thinner rider who bounces around and is heavy in the hands"

I think basically she was saying size doesn't matter, you are obviously good at what you do or you wouldn't have come 1st and 2nd! Just try and ignore this day and learn from it. Some judges can just be a** holes :p
 
Firstly the judge did not say you were too fat, don't read so much into it - kicks fihunt up the arse as requested

You and your mare look wonderful and remember showing is one person's opinion on one particular day.

To those saying the judge was rude, I disagree, all the judge said was that in her/his opinion the other combination was more elegant, he/she did not say it to Fihunt herself so not offence seems to be intended. Fihunt even a skinny person on a cob is never going to look as elegant as someone on a finer animal, please don't be distressed about it.

For the record, I judge riding classes, albeit spanish and foreign, I also judge BD and from your photos I think you ride very well and the two of you make a lovely picture.
 
I see your point Dubsie, but I don't actually move that much in the saddle (so I've been told at least, will have to ask my instructor at my next lesson), so just don't understand. I'm working hard to lose weight, but as everyone knows, it's easier to put on than to lose! I know I'm being daft, but needed to get it out, you know? :)
 
Poor you, you look great on Genie, I always like to see your photos of her. But if you put yourself in front of a judge you have to toughen up. It is after all that judges opinion, they can, afterall only make one friend, the winner. If you cant take it dont do it. There are always hard luck stories in showing, you enter a class with the chance that the judge on that day might not like what is shown in front of him/her. As far as I can gather the weight issue is yours not the judges.
 
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