Feeling really guilty :(

SillySausage

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On Wednesday night I schooled my horse and he went lovely. I then jumped him and he wasn't locking on as usual and kept going on the wrong leg. I took this all as tiredness as it was quite a nice evening and he was very warm.

Last night I took him to a dressage competition and (very unusally due to high entries!) we were having to warm up in one of the fields which was rock solid. Therefore I didn't canter, and I put his unsteadyness down to the ground.

Anyway, I went into my test and up the centre line and around the school he was fantastic and we got all 7's, then suddenly when I started my 20m circle his head 'fell' through my hands. This was a bit strange as if anything he puts his head up! I carried on and asked him to canter and he couldn't get the right leg. I tried to correct it twice with no luck (when I first had him he could never get the right leg on this rein so I thought he was messing me around). I then kept him in trot, but he kept standing on one front foot with the other. Therefore I didn't do my second canter and finished my test.

As soon as I jumped off I checked his feet and legs, no obvious problems and no heat. Then felt his spine and as soon as I got further back he was quite obviously in pain :( The lady whose house he is kept at thinks he may have done it messing around after a massive rainstorm Tuesday evening.

I feel so guilty that I didn't notice he was in pain on Wednesday or realise before my dressage on Thurday and withdraw. He is booked in to have his teeth and back done next week and will be getting a fortnight off.

Went and grovelled to him with Polos today... not sure why I posted this as I'm not expecting sympathy. I know I did wrong and I honestly feel totally sh*te about it :( Just needed to get my feelings out as my parents are totally non horsey and don't understand...
 
its not your fault at all, he told you he was in pain and you responded, most people would put it down to naughtyness and keep on at them!! if it doesnt settle down after the back person has been get the vet out to check him over to make sure its nothing underlying like kissing spines etc.
 
Don't be too hard on yourself, take it as a lesson learned.:) Every single person who has had anything to do with horses has made mistakes so don't wallow in guilt, you know your horse a little better now!:)
 
dont beat yourself up over it. you sound like a caring owner and i'm sure your boy wont hold it against you.... we are all learning as we go along and this experience will help you if anything goes wrong in the future......i'm sure he will enjoy being pampered on his fortnight off...:D:D
 
I know how you feel, i rode my mare out the other week and as she had a reflective sheet on i coulden't see she had a sore on her withers under the sheet, she's alwalys had a mark there and for some reason the sheet had rubbed it, she was clearly unhappy and she felt lame but i couldn't risk getting off, the road was very narrow and full of traffic so i had to carry on, when i untacked her the sore was double what it was, couldn't ride her for a week, :( i to groveled with carrots and apples
 
don't beat yourself up. you have seen it now and if he was in agony you would have known about it.
hope he gets better soon.
 
Thanks guys ... he doesn't seem to hold it against me at all and he's totally happy in himself .. but he means so so so much to me I can't bear him being anything other than 100%!!

I'm actually very suprised he hasn't let me know! He's a bucker by nature, but then it's only ever out of excitement, and never in a malicious way so I guess he didn't want to :(

tinkandlily - it's hard not to feel incredibly guilty isn't it ... have been and got him a bag of carrots and a bag of apples tonight aswell!
 
Hey don't beat yourself up, just buy him sackfulls of carrots, it can happen to anyone, and at lest if it ever happens again in a test you will know the problem and retire him from said comp.
 
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