Feeling so frustrated and upset :(

Please feel free to ignore this, but I wonder if part of the problem is the OH? If he/she doesn't understand your nerves, they may make you feel worse, by accident, by pushing you to do things that you're not ready for. The hunting sounds a step too far to me and I wonder how much of you deciding to go was pressure from others, rather than you being really enthused by the idea. If that is a possibility, then talk to them about what YOUR aspirations are with the horses, maybe try something that they don't do (dressage, Trec etc) aaaaand try to plough your own row :)
 
I seem to go through phases of losing my nerve for no apparent reason. the last time I had a big wobble, I learnt some groundwork techniques, nothing fancy just a bit of backing up, moving sideways, sending him out on to a circle or maybe over poles, that type of thing and I did groundwork everyday instead of riding. That way I was still having close contact time with him and he was getting exercise but I didn't have to face the "trauma" of riding. I gradually built up to groundwork with a 2 min sit on him just before we finished and built up the sitting on/riding part and ... and now I just ride. Little steps and don't be hard on yourself, you'll get there.
 
YorksG said:
Please feel free to ignore this, but I wonder if part of the problem is the OH? If he/she doesn't understand your nerves, they may make you feel worse, by accident, by pushing you to do things that you're not ready for. The hunting sounds a step too far to me and I wonder how much of you deciding to go was pressure from others, rather than you being really enthused by the idea. If that is a possibility, then talk to them about what YOUR aspirations are with the horses, maybe try something that they don't do (dressage, Trec etc) aaaaand try to plough your own row :)
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Right without wanting to put him down too much I do feel you have a point re my other half. He has ridden for years. Helped break horses in, exercised racehorses, hunted, you name it. He ended up leading the field yesterday because they were short a fieldmaster (don't ask our local hunt is just a shambles :P ).
Anyway he's the "just get on with it" type and isn't the most sympathetic on times. He knows the routes around the mountains and forestry like the back of his hand and I've asked him for ages for me and him to go out riding together around these routes so I can explore and get my confidence up on different hacking routes, but it just hasn't happened. I was in tears when he got back yesterday because seeing everyone come back smiling and laughing after such a good day out that I had to miss out on really hurt, yet he was more interested in congratulating everyone on a great day, which is fine but a bit sympathy would have been nice :(
I can hack my usual route with my eyes closed. Heck my horses could take themselves around there they've been there so many times.
But doing the same circle around all the time, while enjoyable, is hardly going to get my confidence up enough to go on hunts, fun rides, etc :/
 
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Gallop_Away said:
Right without wanting to put him down too much I do feel you have a point re my other half. He has ridden for years. Helped break horses in, exercised racehorses, hunted, you name it. He ended up leading the field yesterday because they were short a fieldmaster (don't ask our local hunt is just a shambles :P ).
Anyway he's the "just get on with it" type and isn't the most sympathetic on times. He knows the routes around the mountains and forestry like the back of his hand and I've asked him for ages for me and him to go out riding together around these routes so I can explore and get my confidence up on different hacking routes, but it just hasn't happened. I was in tears when he got back yesterday because seeing everyone come back smiling and laughing after such a good day out that I had to miss out on really hurt, yet he was more interested in congratulating everyone on a great day, which is fine but a bit sympathy would have been nice :(
I can hack my usual route with my eyes closed. Heck my horses could take themselves around there they've been there so many times.
But doing the same circle around all the time, while enjoyable, is hardly going to get my confidence up enough to go on hunts, fun rides, etc :/
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He sounds a lot like my OH. He just has bags of confidence and doesn't really get it when people are nervous. Is there anyone more sympathetic you could ride with?
 
Equine_Dream said:
He sounds a lot like my OH. He just has bags of confidence and doesn't really get it when people are nervous. Is there anyone more sympathetic you could ride with?
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Not really. Most of the other people on my yard are kids/teenagers who like to zoom everywhere. There are one or two more sensible people but they dont ride much
 
I too think that hunting might have been a bit too big of a step. It's quite a lot more exciting for your horse than a bit of hacking, and knowing that you will be galloping in a crowd with ditches etc. can be pretty scary for you too. Maybe start with some distance rides or summer hound rides first. Take it gently and don't make it too hard for yourself. X
 
Little update my OH and I went for a ride up through the forestry this morning. We went up and down some pretty steep tracks and narrow trails.
My mare was a star and I actually really enjoyed myself :)
 
Gallop_Away said:
Little update my OH and I went for a ride up through the forestry this morning. We went up and down some pretty steep tracks and narrow trails.
My mare was a star and I actually really enjoyed myself :)
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Great! As someone who has struggled with my own confidence at times, I know how big these little steps can be. I'm so glad you enjoyed yourself and had a great ride, even though you were out of your comfort zone.

Keep it up and I'm sure you'll achieve what you want, be it hunting, or for me as someone who struggles with jumping; to jump a course at a local show. Keep setting realistic and small goals that overtime will make a big difference.
 
We are all so different. I used to do everything and jump anything on my 14hh.

Now I am getting on a bit, its all changed.

A few years ago, I decided to go drag hunting again - how bad could it be? Slow ride and fast ride. Fast ride set off - followed by slow ride. I couldn't see much difference. Decided to stay put to ponies horror. Spectator friends falling about laughing. Rides come back to start and Master said to me, 'you were fast, didn't notice you overtaking'! One very frustrated pony. Not tried again, but now enjoying hacking with occasional dressage and showing.

I do have to push myself a little, but when it becomes too much I will have to give up. Jumping is now but a distant memory.
 
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