feeling torn, trapped and a bit fed up

weesophz

weesophz

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quite a long one..

just want to start by saying i love my horse very much, hes my rock. please dont think bad of me for what im going to say.

this is hard for me to write, but lately ive been feeling a bit.. well bored to be honest. fox has always been pretty chilled, he does what hes asked and rarely puts up much of a fuss. ive never really felt that he was "THE ONE" like i did with my first pony. i had an instant connection with him. when i was selling my old pony fox just happened to come back to my yard after being starved and a whole court case and i was helping my YO look after him. she kept telling me he'd be a great horse for me and out of both pity for fox and feeling pressure from my YO i ended up taking him. we paid well well over what he was worth at the time, given he had been out of work, had health issues and was starved for many months. being honest with all his scars, chronic windsucking and bad back legs, and being so injury prone hes probably not even worth now what we paid for him. he seems to look and act much older than his 12 years. i would never want to sell him, and to be honest again, i dont think anyone would buy him.. hes got a great character and is totally reliable, and i love him to bits but now i feel i need something more.. i have offered him to my sharer to buy or on full loan as i know she would take care of him and she loves him as much as me but she says she cant due to money. i feel like im almost stuck with him. theres been so many vet bills over the years and hes spend more time recovering from injuries thank actually being ridden. i feel so awful just now im tearing up but i have to get this off my chest :(

ive been helping out with other horses at my yard and having a blast being challenged and doing something new bringing on these youngsters. its fun for me not knowing whats going to happen, but its also good having fox to fall back on when i just want to chill. one of my friends offered to help me look for another of my own to bring on and i would love to so much, but at the end of the day i cant because i have my lovable idiot tb to pay for whos currently unable to be ridden due to cuts from being beaten up by one of the other horses :( i think ive sat on him twice this summer!

feeling so down and frustrated, not sure what to do at all :(
 
Can you loan him? Loads of people would love a nice safe ride, you can then perhaps loan one yourself that floats your boat?

Re the 'one' I've come into contact with hundreds of horses over the years and there's only been one 'one'. He loved me, I loved him, I grew too big. It sucked. I don't think I'll ever have that again. I met another one I worshiped but he didn't think much of me. Current boy tolerates me, I like him but we don't have that rapport and I don't expect I'll ever have it again. Maybe it's like men, and we should feel lucky if we experience it once?!
 
SadKen said:
Can you loan him? Loads of people would love a nice safe ride, you can then perhaps loan one yourself that floats your boat?

Re the 'one' I've come into contact with hundreds of horses over the years and there's only been one 'one'. He loved me, I loved him, I grew too big. It sucked. I don't think I'll ever have that again. I met another one I worshiped but he didn't think much of me. Current boy tolerates me, I like him but we don't have that rapport and I don't expect I'll ever have it again. Maybe it's like men, and we should feel lucky if we experience it once?!
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im wary of loaning as ive heard too many horror stories :( and i wouldnt want to just take him from my sharer as i know she would be devastated.

maybe it is like men haha :( thats what happened to my with my first pony too, he was only 12.2 even a hand bigger and i would have been able to keep him forever, im only just 5 foot
 
Sorry, I'm not at all sentimental: horses are sold every day, it's not a crime to move on to something more suitable, nor to sell one on to an appropriate home.
 
Yep can totally relate. Im not challenged anymore, I have my oldie who is a blast for hacking around the country and doing the odd bit of schooling. I have my loan pony who is a good wee thing but shes not going to be a proper comp horse, she a nice RC type and does well with her schooling etc.

Ive found myself concentrating on other things, my badminton and fitness has taken over where horses used to. Its not wrong to feel this way. I struggled with it, I had a mare who cost me the earth to keep, seemed injured more often than comp ready and ever since Ive felt a bit 'MEH' about it all, Love my horses, no denying it and anyone who said I didnt would be spitting teeth, but we are only human.
 
Cortez said:
Sorry, I'm not at all sentimental: horses are sold every day, it's not a crime to move on to something more suitable, nor to sell one on to an appropriate home.
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i know but its tough. like i said i dont think anyone would even buy him, my sharer would be gutted, i would be too ive had him for 7 years. but i dont get anything from him anymore :(

Black Beastie said:
Yep can totally relate. Im not challenged anymore, I have my oldie who is a blast for hacking around the country and doing the odd bit of schooling. I have my loan pony who is a good wee thing but shes not going to be a proper comp horse, she a nice RC type and does well with her schooling etc.

Ive found myself concentrating on other things, my badminton and fitness has taken over where horses used to. Its not wrong to feel this way. I struggled with it, I had a mare who cost me the earth to keep, seemed injured more often than comp ready and ever since Ive felt a bit 'MEH' about it all, Love my horses, no denying it and anyone who said I didnt would be spitting teeth, but we are only human.
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yeah i get the meh feeling haha :( i dont feel that when im riding the other horses though. in all honesty i think all the new ponies on my yard are making me miss all the crazy fun i had with my old pony, i cant do the fun things i did with him with fox. id love something about 14.2, young and forward i could bring on :(
 
The grass is often greener on the other side.

I have been very lucky with the horses I've been involved in over the years. And quite often I'd look at my own with a little bit of resignation. Mistake. She was worth her weight in gold every minute of every day.
 
You say he looks and feels older than 12, change that.
Change his routine, change his work, feed him up, give him some bam bam :)

Sounds like you have a project to bring on all ready, just because you've switched off to him doesn't mean you can't bring him on enough to sell! That isn't criminal, and on the way you might fall back in love with him
 
Could your sharer take him on full time? Maybe grass livery if that would suit, to keep costs down? As you know her well and trust her presumably. Might be a good solution. I understand being worried about loaning, but you can dictate who loans him, and check him frequently or ask that he stays at your yard. Don't underestimate how important a safe horse is to some folks, or how hard they are to find!

I miss my old gymkhana pony all the time, talk about him loads, he was so special from the moment he went beautifully for me and nobody else. Right now with my quirky little guy I'd settle for an agreement to go down the scary end of the school! That's the flip side of an 'exciting horse'. Hehe!
 
I totally know where you're coming from. I lost my old horse four years ago when I was just knuckling down to a proper career and although I tried a few horses afterwards I just didn't click with any so settled for the occassional hack or lesson. Now I'm in a position to have a new horse and have somehow ended up with a cobby little mare on full loan. She couldn't be further from what I was looking for and even though I'm happy to have her I can't help but feel we don't "click" like me and my old horse did. Thankfully I only have her on loan for a year so it's not the end of the world, but if she were one of my own I wouldn't hesitate to sell her and find something more suitable afterall horses are meant to be enjoyable :)
 
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