Feeling unwanted at my yard, what do I do?

[Craigendrider17]

Lately I've been feeling so unwanted and looked down on at my yard. There's only female liveries and they are all b******!!
I love the yard and the facilities and my horse is happy there but I'm not respected in the slightest. I am 18 and don't have 'horsey' parents so I go to the yard myself and often don't have anybody to ask advice to, but when I do approach the ladies at the yard for help they end up talking behind my back saying things like "oh she shouldn't have a horse if she needs help with THAT"
I've heard the girls say it and the yard owner is just as bad, she will slate everyone at the yard but will be as nice as you like to us as long as she's receiving our money.

My trouble is I work at the yard too, I muck out the yard owners horses along side a few other girls. And they just do not have time for me and make the atmosphere horrible. I know ideally I should just get a grip and carry on working, but it's really effecting my self esteem and making me want to take days off work to avoid certain girls.
I want to approach the yard owner but nothing will be resolved as she, herself , is too scared of her liveries and staff to say anything.

What do I do? Do I quit my job and move my horse? Or something else
It's every day that I go see my horse I get dirty looks and snide remarks as I walk by. I've tried to ignore it but it's making me lose interest in the sport and I don't want to quit...

 

[Jazzy B]

Get a new job and move your horse. Life is far to short to get dragged down by bitchy horsey women!

 

[Regandal]

Get a new job and move your horse. Life is far to short to get dragged down by bitchy horsey women!

Ditto.

 

[Notimetoride]

Get a new job and move your horse. Life is far to short to get dragged down by bitchy horsey women!

I cant agree more. You shouldnt have to put up with this. Move your horse to a small yard where you will be happy. You may have to compromise on the facilities, but you need to find a nice happy laid-back yard. Good luck xx

 

[Magnetic Sparrow]

Do you need the job there? The time you spend with your horse is supposed to be fun, it sounds to me like currently it is the exact opposite. I'd probably be looking to move if it was me, unless you feel capable of the sort of assertiveness that might change the current situation.

 

[tallyho!]

Get a new job and move your horse. Life is far to short to get dragged down by bitchy horsey women!

Could not have said it better myself!

 

[be positive]

Get a new job and move your horse. Life is far to short to get dragged down by bitchy horsey women!

I agree, you should be enjoying your horse and job, not trying to avoid spending time there, not all yards are unpleasant there are some that will appreciate the work you do and YO that will take time to help you develop your knowledge, you sound keen to learn and improve, if you stay they will pull you down and you will give up or end up resenting both the job and your horse.

 

[wills_91]

Get a new job and move your horse. Life is far to short to get dragged down by bitchy horsey women!

This. I don't know about your experience, but we are all new to horses/see things for the first time/need advice or reassurance at some point in horse ownership & there is no harm in asking for help. Nobody is born an expert and we are always learning.

Nice yards and jobs are out there it's just finding the right place. Good luck.

 

[Shantara]

Get a new job and move your horse. Life is far to short to get dragged down by bitchy horsey women!

This!!
I kept Ned at the yard I worked at and I was so miserable I felt I was always been watched for when I slipped up and not many people liked Ned.

But, I moved and I love my job and my yard! Good luck!

 

[Jinnie]

Poor you. It sounds as if your YO is not up to the job if she is scared to keep control of the liveries and those who work for her.In my experience of several livery yards unless you have a straight and fair YO you never have a happy yard.

You are only 18 so do not have the self confidence to stand up to these women. Can you get more horse knowledge from a friend you can trust?
Is there just one of these woman you could approach and ask for some support? Having just one person onside will help a lot.

Stay friendly don't be drawn into any bitchy backstabbing and thank anyone who helps you. I always tell my daughter its hard to be nasty to someone who is always polite and pleasant to you.

You cannot change other people but you can change how you behave.Spending time with your horse should be the best times you have. If you are really so unhappy then it is probably best to look for somewhere else.

Facilities are all well and good but a yard run well is the best of all.Ask around about yards in your area.Farriers are brilliant for finding out which are "happy" yards and which are awful(well our farrier is a great gossip).

Good luck

 

[Cinnamontoast]

I moved yards and thought it would be awful, but I am so happy at my current yard. There is no nastiness, no bitches and I've never known a yard like this. They are out there, I'd move. You're supposed to enjoy your horse, not dread going up.

 

[Shantara]

I moved yards and thought it would be awful, but I am so happy at my current yard. There is no nastiness, no bitches and I've never known a yard like this. They are out there, I'd move. You're supposed to enjoy your horse, not dread going up.

Agree! I have never been on a yard so perfect! The horses are all lovely and it's really chilled Ned out. He's found a new horsey best friend
And all the people are amazing! They always offer to go out hacking and if I'd rather go alone, they take no offence and are sooo willing to help out!

Do it, you never know!