Feeling very low

Bettyboo222

Bettyboo222

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This could turn into very long post.

For about 3 months now I have been feeling like a rubbish rider. I panic when jumping, I don't always get the correct diagonal when trotting, I cam off at trot and I have damaged my wrist.

I don't do F justice when riding, I'm glad he is for sale. I hate his owner watching me ride. Today I saw some pictures of a girl I know jumping XC and it has just made me feel rubbish about my self.

Sorry, bit pointless really
 
Chin up!!! There are lots of people on here of all standards, you will get better and more confident as you go along, at least you realise you have things which could do with improving. I am sure you do ok or else the owner of the horse wouldnt let you ride it at all!!!
 
It is not a pointless post at all. It is such a pity that you have lost confidence in this way. Is there a different horse or pony you can ride to try to regain confidence?
 
I'm sure things aren't as bad as they seem. We all have to start somewhere and we all have bad days. Spring is on it's way and when the sun shines and the horses are all out for longer life seems a little easier. (((((((((( Hugs))))))))))))))
 
If you dont want to ride, then dont. Give yourself a break, I am sure the horse you ride wont be offended to have some time off! <<<hugs>>>
 
Awww hugs hun! I know how you feel, I hate people watching me ride and ride so much better on my own. I am sure you'll be fine, you sound like you need to have some fun time with the neddie and not feel like you are being judged. ***hugs***
 
Awww please don't put yourself down so much!!! Remember riding is supposed to be FUN!!! Who cares if the horse/rider are not the image of perfection- unless you want to compete then don't get hung up on it! Just try and work back and remember why you took riding up in the first place- it is about you and the horse- don't take any notice of anyone else!! :)
 
sounds like you are lacking in self confidence when other people are around, realise that you are placeing others opinions above your own and at the moment you think others are better than you, they are not, you have to find your own talents and do things little by little and each time you succeed try to see how you are developing strength, it will mean getting out of your comfort zone, start by doing something every day that is a bit difficult, hard to face, or that you feel like you don't want to, and remember that the darkest hour is just before dawn, that is the realisation that you need to do something about the way you feel.
the fact that you are so aware when riding makes you are good candidate for becoming a good rider, it is those who are sensitive to the horse who can discover a road to the place we all want to be, try to relax, when riding, put your body where is should be and leave it there, try not be be tense, follow the horses movement,let your legs down, try to sit in a classical seat, don't look down, look where you are going, and take as much time as you need even if it feels like slow motion, so body and nerves are in sync. and let the horse do the work.
 
Thanks Everyone. I'm a little more emotional than normal at the moment ;) and I have got a big workload. I think being stuck in with the wrist and not being able to vist Beauty is having a big affect on me
 
Do you have lessons? I find that when my confidence is low (which it always is, it just dips lower at times!) lessons really help. If something goes wrong there's someone there to tell you what to do and to put things right before you get a problem. And you gradually improve building up more confidence!
 
Maybe try a different instructor? Maybe the change might help with motivation?

I imagine though that it is hard to get motivated when you know that the horse is going to be sold.

Try not to be too hard on yourself though, it's supposed to be fun. :)
 
Ok, stop being so hard on yourself. If you don't like people watching you riding, and I can understand that, and the only fun you have is going for a hack, then why not do that ? Lots of people would kill to have the confidence/ ability to hack out.
Are you feeling upset because the horse is for sale?
Then you've got a bad wrist, and a lot on at the moment?
Its easy to see why you're out of sorts, but riding is meant to be fun.
maybe a change in instructor would help to get some motivation back ?
 
if the work load is too heavy, tell the person in charge how you are feeling, you where not put on this planet to just work.
try this: three times a day sit down, completely empty your mind, not easy but try, then just relax with closed eyes leave it all blank for even 2 minutes, more if poss, then come back, try to find yourself and remember how you feel when happy and relaxed and you are in driving seat and making the decisions, not feeling like a hamster on a treadmill.
what you are experiencing can precede a nervous breakdown, don't be afraid to cry, and express you needs and feelings to others.
 
Hun you are the person on here that looks after that lovely old grey mare Beauty aren't you?
Well to me i think you are great! you took that pony on and got her looking so much better. If i lived close by you i'd tell you to come out hacking with me, because i think perhaps you might enjoy that so much more. Not like a lesson at all and enjoying the countryside on your horse is super fantastic and i also believe it teaches you alot to. Perhaps go to a good riding school and book a few hacks?

However you might be a bit like me and feel that riding is not the be all and end all? I have a youngster and i obviously cant ride him yet. I have perhaps rode a handfull of time in the last 3yrs on other peoples horses, previously i used to work at a busy dealing yard/riding centre so now i just dont feel to bothered if i dont get to ride for a while.

Perhaps you need to have a break from the riding side of things but if you find you dont miss it perhaps you can just stick to the looking after of the horses, perhaps some inhand showing? or even try carriage driving? You certainly dont have to ride to enjoy horses :) very best of luck with everything xx.
 
I fell off a stationary horse last June and hurt my pelvis - I couldn't run for about 4 months. Coming off in a bouncy gait like trot is common, so try not to feel embarrassed. Anyway, coming off in trot ususally hurts less than in canter or gallop! lol.

I always panicked when jumping when I was a teen - I took no joy in it whatsoever but was pressured into it. At my new yard, I now jump happily and even compete unaffiliated in their shows. I can do it because I don't care what others think anymore and I've an RI that has made my confidence blossom. It can and will happen with the right horse, instructor and time if you want it to (but remember, you don't have to). A well schooled horse on the flat is a great foundation for anything, SJ and XC included. The horse won't lose its scope, and future riders would appreciate a horse with great flatwork!

I had no motivation to ride two weeks ago, and I hated myself for it - there's nothing I love more. It's because I was stressed and feeling low though - the doctors call it anhedonia, a loss of interest in things you usually enjoy. A week off however due to situations beyond my control and I was itching to back again! Sometimes a break can help 80)

All in all though, life is too short not to be happy. If horse riding doesn't make you happy anymore, then don't do it. If you still love being around horses, you could still have a hand in horse care or try another discipline. Just try your best to do the things you enjoy, and don't be afraid that sometimes the things you enjoy will change 80)
 
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Oh hunny...

I've fallen off a stationary Little Cob. Well, I didn't actually make it onto him in the first place!

I've fallen off the Dizz for no real reason and donked m'head.

I've fallen off because I was riding (and jumping!) when I was ill and should have known better, and broken my back, the week before Camp.

When I canter Dizz now, I have to keep reminding myself to get my heels down and not grip upwards, thereby losing a stirrup and coming off - again!

As to the diagonal, loads of people don't know about which they should be on/don't care/can't tell - it will come with practice!

Have a huge hug.

Not sure where you are in the country, but you're welcome to come and see The Hairy Gang and have a chilled out day. We'll take care of your broken bit, we're used to it :rolleyes:.
 
Chin up, we have all had our confidence knocked at some time or another. I do remember seeing a book called "Ride with your Mind" which may help with your confidence issues. Horses pick up on nerves so it will really help if you can get over them so maybe try and get a copy of that book?
 
I think we have all been there! I used to get off and cry every time i rode because i felt so rubbish at it. i used to vomit before i was made to jump. I'm still a bit nervous of jumping but i dont chuck anymore!! lol disgusting right. i used to say all the time that i feel like giving up. i think you get to a step then dont feel like your getting better for ages then all of a sudden something will click and youll think 'why was this so hard'. keep strong im sure youll get better just take your time. it doesnt matter what others think of your riding your doing it to make you happy!!! big hug!
 
I know exactly how you feel. I haven't had a lesson for nearly three years because I can't afford them and it's really starting to show. Is there any way you could book yourself a couple of lessons with a kind, confidence-giving instructor? That will really help your confidence and then you will feel like you're doing something to improve.

I'm sure you're not nearly as bad as you think you are, and I hope you feel more confident soon.
 
Firstly have a massive (((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))). Honestly try not to beat yourself up. I hate riding with people watching me to. I compleatly fall appart and start flapping my arms and legs and wiggling my body all around and just look like a total fool :o I always feel like others are judging me and laughing at me cos I'm such a rubbish rider :( I tend to only ride when there is noone else around and at a competition I fall appart compleatly and usualy end up sat on the floor crying. I would like to do some walk trot dressage on Herbs but I keep finding excuses not to go. I also hate jumping the thought of it makes my stomack turn.
I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about what makes a good rider. She said she was crap as she couldn't even canter yet let alown jump. She has a lovely pony but feels like she doesn't deserve him as she is not good enough. I said to her who cares what other people think. What did she want to do with her horse. She said she just wanted to hack around, have fun and spend time with him. Well she can do that and her pony is happy so why does anything else matter it will all come in time as her confidance grows.
I know showjumpers who jump 5ft fences and dressage riders who ride at PSG but I know if they sat on Herbs they would be off in 2 seconds flat. So which of us is the better rider?
We can each ride well enough for what we want to do. :)
If you realy don't feel like riding then maybe a break will do you good. If you miss it then you can always take it up again when ever you are ready. You don't have to give up horses compleatly I know loads of people who just like to take care of horses, groom them ect.... and never ride. There are lots of horses out there who need someone to love them even though they can't be ridden.
Try to keep positive we all get times like this sometimes. I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. Feel free to PM me anytime you like if you need a chat or just someone to listen.
 
when i first moved to the yard i'm at now i was too scared to ride in the arena for nearly a month in case i was watched or judged. i've ridden all my life and up until then i thought sod it, i can cope fine and i'm capable of riding and don't care what others think. but it shocked me that i was very self concious of riding in front of others.

i eventually got over my fear of it and now will ride in front of any of them and if i do something wrong (that i'm aware of) then i will make a joke about it and i have found that so much easier, relaxing and calming than thinking oh poo did so and so see that, they will think i'm really bad. etc etc.

don't beat yourself up about things though, it's meant to be fun. if you can't get motivated to have your lessons then maybe try a different instructor, explain to them about not having the motivation and explain your fears/worries. if it's a good instructor then they will help you lots.

as for getting support from your family, they don't have to be horsey to give you support. my OH although doesn't ride he is horsey, but he doesn't understand the 'buzz' you get from riding and all that. i had to turn it around on him as he's passionate about bikes, i would say things that gave him a comparison so that he could understand better. it does work and he is now more supportive. try that with your family, find the one thing they are passionate about and try and explain to them in terms they would understand how you feel about horses.
 
Sorry to hear you feeling so low. It sounds as though you need a really good, supportive instructor to build up your confidence.

I know I am a rubbish rider and I will never be a fraction as able as the young girls as the yard. But I enjoy riding and I get such a high from those times when things do go right and I make a little progress. Don't be so hard on yourself,it is meant to be fun and you don't need to be a Whittaker :))
 
Personally I dont think its lessons you need. You need to chill out and do whatever it is you enjoy doing the most. If thats a nice quiet hack, then so be it. You ride for enjoyment, it should certainly not be a torturous experience. Cut yourself some slack!
 
Thanks Everyone.

Definatly feeling better today. Might speaks to F's owner about just doing some relaxed riding. I think I will be happier once he is sold though because it just means that there is a massive load off me and I can concentrate on working with Beauty, getting her weight up and stuff.
 
One of the girls who I learnt to ride with (we were on same riding team ect) Phoned me last night and told me to stop being an idiot, She knows both F and his owner and how much pressure is being put on me. Its just nice to chat to someone who knows exactly who you are talking about :)
 
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