Fighting the Nerves

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BonneMaman

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Do any of you get stupid wobbles when getting down to working your horses?

I am, what I would call, an experienced rider - had my own pony from age 13 then broke and bought on a very sharp TB x in my early 20s to early 30s, then stopped for 10 years to have kids and now am getting back into it.

I had a few lessons at a RS and then loaned a mare that reared really badly - gave her up quickly! Now I have just started riding my mare (9yo IDx) who is very green but this is due to her being a broodmare her whole life. She really is a very good girl except for the serious napping but I get myself into a bit of a state when I go to ride.

It took me 15 mins to get on her on Sunday as she just would not stand still to let me get on. She wasn't doing anything really, just walking off forward or backing off or turning her bum away as soon as I went to gather reins and quite frankly 15 years ago I would have just leapt on her whatever position she was standing in!

Once I eventually got on she was fine - she was her usual backward thinking nappy self but I got her going very well with some very positive riding (I do have it in me still!!). I have to add that I did not exercise her throughout the ice and snow because I just could not get down to the school. So, I had not ridden for about 4/5 weeks and she only came back into work in October.

I just feel such a tw*t! I probably need someone to shout at me and tell me to pull myself together! I'm only 43 - hardly ancient!

Does anyone else here feel like this? Surely it will get easier the more I ride and build up my confidence??
 
It will get easier I am sure, I went through this last year and slowly and surley my confidence is growing with the help of a good instructor kind people at the yard and lots of time and we are getting there.
I went through a stage of doing anything to get out of riding now im positive about getting on board.

Can you arrange a few lessons maybe or get a friend to keep you company for a while give you some encouragement ( sorry for my spelling)
 
A kind friend to ride with works wonders. You start to chat, and then you relax, and the message goes down the reins.You've shown you are still a positive rider - it's just the nerves that need sorting. Feel for you. I've been there too! It was riding with kind friends on wise horses that sorted us. Good luck.
 
I go through this (see my Pointless Happy post) and I agree withe the above, get a good instructor and a friend to lend a hand. Sometimes we need a bit of support, there's no harm in asking for help.
 
Quick Update - had a massive fight with my mare this weekend.

Saturday - tacked up and loose schooled in the indoor school for 5/10 mins then managed to get on her with much less hastle - took a leaf out of a riding magazine that recently did an article on mouting issues. Schooled her and she went very well. Bit of napping but not massive.

Sunday - same again - but this time after schooling we ventured outside for a bit of schooling round the yard - rode up to the top school (on the way to the field) and she was good until she got up there and refused point blank to turn back towards the stable (away from field) - I got pretty scared actually and nearly got off as I thought she was going to go up but plucked up the courage to play her at her own game and spin her round and round then gave her a huge kick and whack with the schooling whip and got her back to the yard. So I then tried to school her up and down the driveway towards the road. Again she was very bad but lots of growling, kicking and use of the stick I got her going again but I am really worried that the fitter she gets the worse she will get and may learn to rear properly.

What do you think?
 
I know its bit obvious but have you had her teeth, back and saddle checked recently? Espec if shes been a broodmare; may be reason as to why she is behaving like this
 
Although you're fighting with nerves at the moment, well done for trying to beat it! I know people that have been in your position and that have given up! So go you! You're already fighting some nerves!

I agree with everyone else, find someone you can chat with, and a good friendly instructor is always a good idea, someone you can rely on to help you and guide you! With the not being to mount - it could be one of a few things or more than one thing, could be manners could be the horse telling you something else? Are you holding the reins in a way to confuse the horse? What's your body language telling the horse? I would spend loads of time with your mare tacked up next to the mounting block or with you standing next to her as if you're about to mount, scratching her, stroking her, also make it as though being next to you and the mounting block is a good thing, so if she moves away back up, do some lateral work until she is standing next to the block or you perfectly and realises its not such a bad thing? I hope that makes sence! Thats how I did it and now I have no difficulties getting on!!

Good luck with the nerves, and just remember, have fun! Enjoy riding and being around the horse!!!!
 
No advice but just to say I know how you feel. I had a break from riding during my later months of pregnancy and havent realy had the time to get back into it properly. Baby is now nearly 2! The problem is that the less you ride the slower your confidence is to recover. I seem to be one step forward, two back. I have had a couple of nasty falls, lots on at work, then the blimmin weather. Hope you sort things out soon - good luck
 
Know exactly where you're coming from regarding the nerves. I've ridden and worked with horses all my life. Due to unfortunate circumstances I lost my lovely boy last year, after 18 mths intermittent lameness, so no riding during that time. I now find that my nerves are getting the better of me ! I went to a local RS a couple of times, hated it ! ! Just not the same as your own horse I'm afraid. O K it gave me a bit more confidence, but I really wonder if I will ever be able to go out for a decent hack and thoroughly enjoy riding again like I used to ? I'm quite a lot older than you ( nearly 60 ) but I don't want to stop doing the thing I love most, not yet ! I know I have physical problems that affect my ability to ride as I used to - stiffer hips, stiff back, bad shoulder, hands, lack of springiness when mounting, etc, etc, . . . yes, I know what you're all thinking " she's getting old " ! ! ( be warned, it comes to us all . . . ! ) Anyway, I'm sure you are young enough to work through your problems, and still have many years of happy riding ahead of you. One thought, was there any reason your mare was used just for breeding purposes until recently ? Sometimes mares can have back or pelvic issues if they have been bred from, could be worth checking. Also, although she isn't a baby in year terms, she seems to be acting like a youngster in as much as she needs her friends/company. Perhaps try to build your bond with her more so she feels happier and safe to be with you, rather than her equine pals. Just a thought, hope it works out for you both. Sorry for the long rambling, it's an ' age' thing ! :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
 
Sympathies!!! 2 years ago I lost my nerve so badly after an operation the my 15yo old daughter had to lead me round the indoor school in walk on my young boy, he had done nothing wrong for this to happen! I have stood frozen out on hacks, got off and led etc, etc,etc. It does pass and the more you do the more you do if you get me. Sounds like you did brilliantly to be honest and if thats you when you have nerve issues, you must be brill when you dont!!!!
 
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After a couple of accidents last year - one with horse and one with car - my nerves sometimes get the better of me and to NOT ride is the easier option. Apart from meditating which is something I have started doing recently, I usually give myself 4 squirts of Rescue Remedy (sometimes before I even leave home), secondly I keep a small bottle of pure lavender oil in the stables and I sprinkle it on the body brush and while I am brushing the horse it calms us both down. To be extra sure I put some on my glove. This seems to work for me. Lavender is also good for headaches.
 
I've been out of riding for nearly 4 years and just got back into it again in September 2010. The first couple of lessons were er.. quite interesting to say the least! My hands were shaking that bad they must have been sending vibrations through the reins! When your younger, you feel more invinvible and you tend to have more confidence in yourself. But it definately disappears as you get older! Keep at it and in time your confidence will build up to the level you require. And a massive WELL DONE for staying on her and seeing it through - many people in your position would have jumped off and given up! :)
 
Just a little thought about ID mares .... I have one and love her to bits but they can be bright, intelligent and strong minded.

If that sounds like your girl, I have found sometimes it is best not to go head to head with her as sometimes they just won't give up and normally can think of a few new tricks.

Most ID love jumping and I have found if you can incorporate at least a few poles into the schooling, they tend to engage with work much more ..... Someone said that you have to keep their brain occupied so they can't be t honking up new tricks.

And lastly, sometimes getting off is the right thing to do, just obviously don't reward her by taking her somewhere she wants to go, you can take her right back to the school and give her some more work!!!

Sure that you know all this already, but I know my Irish girl is very different to my other less bright horses.

Good luck
 
Well done for sticking with it and not giving up, and just to say i have had a few nappy horses and as long as it is nothing pain related if you stick with it and force them to go they often give it up eventually.
 
Thanks for your thoughts - yes, she is pretty bright and very strong willed! She is very green but once she has a chance to look at something she sort of says "oh OK, don't mind that" and moves on.

Handling her though, she is just like some of you said - if you hurt her, she will hurt you! Very much a negotiation on the ground! Believe she may have been mistreated. Bit headshy, not that keen on being loved at that end but enjoys a good groom and scratch.

I find that you do have to back off her sometimes - ie. if she is playing the farrier up he cannot keep harassing her for the same foot. If you try another foot and then go back she sort of "resets" and is fine!

I lunged her the other day - she was fine, then stood and refused to go forward, I flicked the lung whip at her a couple of times and she sort of had a bit of a tantrum (shook her head, stamped her feet and jumped up and down sidways on) so I stopped and she stopped, we looked at each other and she moved off. She sort of needed some time to think about it. (Too much pressure)

Sorry to ramble, do you think she might get over it eventually? Very difficult at my yard as the road outside is fast so I need someone to ride with and they are pretty rare at my yard....not much support!
 
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