final attempt

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annegem

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help...i know i have my faults but my mare has driven me into depression..i love her quirks,her loving nature in the stable but most of the time(especially after riding) i am afraid to say i detest her.
For 3 years i have given her excuse after excuse but my freinds are now saying its time to part!!
We have spinning in walk whilst out hacking,bridle lameness when schooling ,dicky fits when jumping.Such a talented mare who is clever and evasive ,and has seen more vets and professionals who all say there is nothing wrong.Now someone has suggested using <u>cro-mag</u> has anyone used it ?
i really don't want to part with her
 
Is she the same when someone else rides her? I am not doubting your abilities - just sometimes they can clash with a person.

Have you tried any of the Natural Horsemanship methods - I have never done any of it myself, but if you have ruled out pain of any sort - maybe she just needs to learn respect and boundaries?

Hope that makes sense!!
 
I had a gelding once that was very talented but just didn't want to know. There were points where he was just plain dangerous and like you i perserved. (He had no physical problems that we could find). It left me very down and upset...and after some soul searching i sold him. Whilst this was a very bad time he taught me a very important lesson, this is supposed to be your hobby! If you have literally fallen into depression....and have tried for three years, i think you really need to ask yourself if it is worth it?

By all means try the calmer, but if i were you i would be looking to move on.
 
If she isnt making you happy, which horses should do, and by the sounds of things shes not, then maybe your pairing just isnt right!

She might make someone else a lovely horse which then leaves you free to find a horse you enjoy more!
 
Oh dear, what a crappy situation for you and the horse. Natural horsemanship could be worth a try, I've seen marvelous things done with horses otherwise written off. Lots of ppl on here scoff about the methods but from experience they can work with some horses.
It does sound like you've persevered quite a bit and neither you or your horse are having any fun. Some horses just dislike certain jobs/disciplines and may do better in a home where different things are expected of them.
Good luck in whatever you decide.
 
I have a very talented horse who had been allowed to do what he liked by his previous owners, although he improved somewhat (stopped bolting with his head wrapped round my leg, biting me, pulling me around when he was being led, etc.etc.) riding him was rarely a pleasure, he would just do enough to make me keep giving him another chance, but the truth was that our personalities clashed. He is now with my cousin, who is a less experienced rider, but probably because of this was worried about the consequences of his behaviour. Also he is now a happy hacker and therefore rather less fit than when I was competing him. She adores him and they get on very well, so it was a good solution, although he will never fulfill his obvious potential. I would not have sold him, for fear of what might have happened to him in the wrong hands, so I still own him but wouldn't dream of taking him away from her. Sometimes you just have to admit that you are not the right partner for a horse. By the way I tried natural horsemanship with him, he was a star on the day when he was used as an example horse, but then he got bored with the whole thing and refused to play ball.
 
Has your horse been to Newmarket for an MRI scan and full lameness investigations? My last horse started to play up when he was having physical problems and over 12 months I had countless vets and experts tell me "there's nothing wrong with him go ahead and make him get on with it". It's only because I knew him so well that I wouldn't accept it and pushed for a referral. Turned out his front feet were both knackered beyond repair and he'd been coping unbelievably well. I'm not saying this is going to be the same for your horse, just trust your gut feeling and don't take what 'experts' tell you as gospel.
 
Yep, what physical checks have been done?
I had all this with my young mare, people saying she was playing up and I should push her through. Turned out she had kissing spine. Not saying yours has, but before you think of NH, trainers etc you need to check if there is a physical cause.
Once that's eliminated I'd go right back and re-start her using my NH training (not a la Parelli), often that methodical approach will solve problems without you even noticing. But that's just me...
crazy.gif
 
I agree with the others. Had a friend who spent almost a year trying to battle with the 'experts' to find out what was wrong with her horse, it was constantly described as behavioural issues. After her pushing for bone scans etc they found spinal arthritus and spavins. Hope this isn't the case but just shows that often things can be over looked when the horse appears to just be difficult.
 
i think that if you have your heart set on winning this situation then try every means possible, the calmer, the parelli (which i'm starting to see good results with for a totally different situation) and very regular lessons with at least one professional.
You may find that the horse is better the more work she gets - i had a warmblood that was like your horse, and he only settled down once i could put him on a friends horse walker for an hour everyday plus riding him there and back.

on the other hand, if you've had enough and can't face your next ride out, and you're doubting your own abilities, it might be time to say enough is enough and part with her.

i know we all like to have everybody elses opinions, but at the end of the day only you can make the decision that is right for you.
 
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