First horse - maybe too much for me?

[Spirit04]

hi everyone,

pls bear with my slightly rubbish typing, ive broken my collar bone so am typing with one hand

im 28 and have dreamt of having a horse since i was about 6 when i became obsessed with ponies! I had lessons for a few years many years ago and spent all my time at the yard until i hit my teens but i luckily got back into it a few years ago and have been having pretty much fortnightly lessons since (on avg). i can walk, trot and canter in school (canter needs a bit of work) and hack out regularly, fast and slow, now without my instructor (with others though).

i met Spirit about 6 months ago and ended up buying him, i know that technically i should have waited to gain more experience but i fell for his good looks and blinded myself to all the negatives

he is at my riding school on semi working livery so i have the support there and am trying to keep up with lessons but i recently fell off galloping (on my birthday hack out, he slipped on grass somehow) so perhaps ive got too much time on my hands but im feeling a bit unnerved at the moment and think ive maybe bitten off more than i can chew. he's 8 and an arab x comtois, really sweet nature and perfect on ground but he is quite hot to trot, especially in a group hack situation. i had been working on getting him to relax at back of group etc but there have been a few hairy moments. he is also v strong in school and he is ridden in a pelham, even then its hard to slow him down i think its a combination of bad/little schooling and his nature but i cant help thinking i would have been better off/safer getting more of a school master. im sure with one on one schooling and patience he could probably turn out to be a calmer horse with milder bit though.

i dont really want to 'give up' on him but i also dont want to put myself in more danger/stress than i need to. i also dread group hacks which is ridiculous lol

has anyone ever been in a similiar situation? i am definitely not an expert by any means and know i have a lot to learn

thanks for any advice, sorry for long msg

 

[St Nicnaclaus]

OP - sorry to hear of your accident. You didn't say but I assume collarbone and birthday hack fall are related?

It's all too easy to imagine the big dragons when you have time on your hands and your are thinking about doing it; not actually doing it.

Your horse sounds lovely & having him on working livery is the perfect solution as you are surrounded by knowledgeable people and have lots of support.

Carry on with the lessons; can you hack out with just one other person when you get back riding? Any horse is going to be excited when there are lots of other horses about, especially on fast hacks. You only fell off because your horse slipped - nobody's fault; an accident.

Take it quietly when you get back on; build up your confidence slowly and I wish you the best of luck with your continued progression. (FWIW I lost my 19 year old mare who was safe as houses in late April; we knew each other back to front as I bought her when she was 6 months old. I thought I'd get a nice schoolmaster/mistress but have ended up buying a 4 year old 3 weeks ago who is adorable but I know we will have our moments. I have told myself that the first time I fall off him will be the worst!)

 

[the watcher]

this could have been me typing many decades ago, my first pony was about as unsuitable as she could have been, I spent the first 6 months falling off (mostly being bucked off) every time I rode her.

1) group hacks are potentially exciting for all horses. Don't do it until you have a more secure seat and are more confident. For work outside the school stick to road work and then increase gradually the faster work you do, never cantering in the same place so you don't set up that fight where they want to go off in a rush

2) lunge or long rein before getting on board in the school every time, you may start by lungeing for 20 minutes and then only riding for 10, but you can increase your riding time progressively.

3) I wouldn't be thrilled about the Pelham to be honest. If he is used in lessons there is the potential for novice and unbalanced riders to be abusing the bit and I would want to change it (or change his management so he is not being ridden by unbalanced novices!)

4) being ridden needs to be changed from something very exciting to something quite routine, this will take time.

When I was despairing I told my dressage instructor that I thought the pony might be too much for me and his comment was ' You've got her now, so you'll just have to learn to deal with it' and that is pretty much what I would say to you. When your hot little horse and you become a real partnership all the learning and frustration will have been worth it

 

[Arizahn]

When I was despairing I told my dressage instructor that I thought the pony might be too much for me and his comment was ' You've got her now, so you'll just have to learn to deal with it' and that is pretty much what I would say to you. When your hot little horse and you become a real partnership all the learning and frustration will have been worth it

This is the wisest, most realistic thing that I have heard in some time! Makes me think of me and Hippo - I too have a sharp Arab and sometimes dream of a sleepy cob

Don't give up yet OP: at least your fall was due to his slipping and not because of naughtiness. Lots of good advice on here, and would definitely second the trying him in a different bit if possible. What are you feeding him? I know too much sugar sends mine loopy...

 

[Honey08]

You may have been a little hasty in your purchase, but you have in on livery on a good yard where he is worked and you can have lessons - great!

The fall was caused by a slip, not his bad behaviour - it could happen to anyone, it was just a unlucky accident.. (although it may be prudent to go a bit slower when the grass is slippery..).

Get yourself well, don't focus on negative things that haven't even happened. When you are well, perhaps have a lesson on something you know better and calmer, then progress to yours, and take your time, keep up the lessons. You'll be fine, honestly.x

 

[Meowy Catkin]

he slipped on grass somehow

He slipped, he didn't try to dump you. Try not to let the incident go round and round in your head.

When you are riding again, work on getting an independent seat and cut back on the exciting group hacks until you are ready for them. Try to go out with just one other rider if possible.

 

[PolarSkye]

When I was despairing I told my dressage instructor that I thought the pony might be too much for me and his comment was ' You've got her now, so you'll just have to learn to deal with it' and that is pretty much what I would say to you. When your hot little horse and you become a real partnership all the learning and frustration will have been worth it

This . I could have written your post a couple of years ago. And I had the same epiphany . . . get on with it or get rid . . . and I got on with it. Oh, and getting on with it is a journey.

P

 

[Spirit04]

thanks for all the great advice - so quick too

the fall does go round my head a bit but the worst thing is that i cant ride for 3 months (2 weeks since op), I even saved up for a saddle which i havent even sat in yet i know it was just an accident and will def be careful on grass now, it was quite long but we've all galloped up it before with no problems and it was bone dry!

its really reassuring to hear some of you have been there in the past! the other thing is hes not perfect on the road either, not that we have to do much and road is quiet but unless he's at front he prances/jogs a bit which is unerving if a car goes by but i just tell myself to lean back, sit deep and breath haha

He is literally just on ad lib hay, hes a good doer actually and lives out 24/7.

thanks again for all the comments

 

[ladyt25]

Sorry to hear about your fall - if it makes you feel any better, my horse slipped on the road a few years back with me (we were only walking) and that resulted in a broken collar bone too! I have had him for many years, it wasn't his fault! It doesn't sound like yours ditched you purposefully, it's just one of those things that happens with horses.

I would keep on with lessons, try another bit. If he's still strong in a pelham that would suggest to me it's maybe not the bit for him. If he's one who tends to lean on the forehand and carry his head low then, in my experience these horses are not best suited to pelhams - I have tried on mine in the past but find they just lean on them. It may be trickier if he is used in a riding school as well but if he does tend to lean then a gag type bit hand in hand with lessons and schooling may help. You could try a cartwheel gag or even some type of hanging snaffle - think about the mouthpiece too. Ask someone with experience (I suggest an instuctor at the riidng school) to experiment with some other bits. I think when you know you have control it helps your confidence - if you are always a bit worried they may take off with you or be hard to stop it can make you worry which then has a negative effect on the horse and you.


6 mths is not a long time at all and especially if this is you first horse. i have to say though if that's him in your avatar then he looksa lovely colour and a smart chap!