First horse needing advice

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tubby1

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I bought my first horse 6 weeks ago at the grand old age of 40. I have always been a bit lacking in confidence but now feel it's getting worse.she is a 6 yr old chestnut mare but is generally chilled and good to be around. We have had a few hiccups ( one major ) but she has been generally good. Over the past couple of days she has been horrid boxing me in the stable when trying to muck out, nipping and today when I tried to get on she was having a paddy and I had to give up. I know I should not have let her get away with it but she was quite scary and I was on my own. I think my lack of confidence is affecting her and worry I have made a mistake buying her. She is in DIY livery and gets limited turnout in a mixed herd. She is fed cool fibre an a small scoop of sugar beet she gets 3 hay nets a day. There is not many people on the yard so it's difficult to get any help. Sorry for long post.
 
Hello and crongrats on getting your horse. I have been in same boat as you when i got my mare 2 half years ago now. I found she took alot longer to trust me on ground as well as when i ride her. Took almost a year for me to get the bond. All i can say is keep it up with her she will come round. You need to be firm but fair. If at all get some help from a riding instructor as well as lessons. This will help you with getting your confidence. I found my last horse gelding easyer to bond with then my mare..women for you....lol Good luck xx
 
I would def suggest finding an understanding instructor who will come and spend time with you - not just lessons in the school, but giving advice on handling on the ground. When I bought my first horse (I was also 40) I found a lovely local instructor who gave me lots of help and even cycled with me when I went out hacking the first few times as I had no one to ride out with.
I don't have loads of experience but I think that 6 weeks is not that long - it can take a few months to build up a trust relationship and you may find that your mare is just testing you to see if you can be the boss!
Good luck - I'm sure all will be fine.
 
I don't reckon you've made a mistake, but you need to get firm with her. Not hitting her, but BIG body language. She's being a bully, don't allow her any leeway and spend some time on the ground leading, stopping, turning, backing her up etc.

We've all been there, mine turned into a witch after 3 months.
 
I'm sure you didn't make a mistake, just take things slowly and remember it is very early days. It took me a couple of YEARS to really bond with my mare and many times, especially in the early days, I thought I'd made a dreadful mistake. Now I know she is probably my horse of a lifetime and my only regret is that she is now 20! I've had her for about five years now. I'm reading a book 'No fear, no force' It is by Sarah Weston and is focused on training semi feral foals but a lot of what she writes would be applicable to any horse. Body language is important. My girl used to 'threaten' me by turning her bum on me when I entered the stable but she has a heart of gold and would never deliberately harm a human. She was trying her luck and pushing the boundaries, just as any intelligent animals would do. Persevere, it is well worth the effort.
 
Right, a few suggestions:

1. If she is being difficult in the stable don't deal with her in there. Take her out when you want to groom/tack up/muck out etc. Tie her up to groom and tack up and when you are mucking out either tie her up outside or pop her in a spare box or in a field. She may not be used to having things done when she is loose in the stable or she may be trying it on but better to just get her out and not make an issue of it. My mare was a pain in the stable when we first got her, even tied up she wouldn't stand still but tied on the yard she was good as gold. Now we know her better and she is more settled she is much better in the stable.

2. Get an instructor to help you with the ridden work. Preferably move to a yard where there are knowledgeable people around and instructors on hand. Look at riding schools with livery, then you will have instructors and staff to help. If things don't improve quickly you could also consider working livery at a yard like that, I know several people who have found this a godsend when they have been having problems with their horse as it gets regular work under experienced supervision free from their personal baggage.

3. What is the horse being fed? Consider the energy levels carefully and cut them back so the horse doesn't have any excess energy.

4. Is the horse getting enough turnout? Try to give it as much as possible, try to ride after turnout so the horse has no excess energy.

5. Consider lunging before you get on so the horse is a bit tired and less likely to muck about.

6. How do you get on? How did the previous owner get on? Does the horse understand what is being asked of it? Mine hadn't ever been expected to stand at a mounting block as the rider used to get leg ups so we had to practice this. We started off just getting her to stand still next to it, before doing lots of getting on and off to get her used to it. Lots of praise when she did the right thing calm correction when she did the wrong thing. We tried to do most of the practice at the end of a ride or when she was going to/from the field rather than before a ride when she was feeling impatient.

I'm sure you will get there, you are probably just having teething problems and will iron everything out soon.

Best of luck.
 
From a fellow chesnut mare owner my main advise would be
1. Increase the turnout and try turnout with mares only, if this isn't possible at your current place Iwould really suggest finding somewhere that you can get at least 6 hours T/O everyday with mare only.

2. As others have said find a good instructor, or even a new yard with assisted DIY and instructor on site.

3. have a rethink on the feeding, maybe ditch the sugar beet and go for a hifi light with balancer or soemthing depending on how good a doer she is.

I'm sure it will all be fine everyone needs a bit of help now and again.
 
Cut her food down to a bit of chop some sort a balancer and hay
Get experienced help straight away on the ground as well as ridden I am sure this will come right but get help quick .
An investment in proper help now will pay you back many times ,try not to worry these things often happen dont beat your self up just get help to sort it out.
Good luck.
 
Sorry to hear things are going a bit pear shaped.

I have nop other advice, as usual you have been given some excellent pearls of wisdom. I would also add that 6 is quite young an some horses can be a bit 'teenagery' so getting some help sooner rather than later would be worthwhile.

Good luck
 
I could have written that when we got our first horse, so let me tell you how I dealt with it, I took away some of the issues - didnt muck out with her in there, she was a pain to tie up as would either destroy the tie up area or pull back and run off. Now I laugh at how naughtly she was. I got the help of an instructor and that helped enormously. It took ages for the horse to settle at least 6 months, I had her for 10 years (she died I didnt sell her)

If you can get more turn out that might help, lunge her before you ride her and build more of a relationship with her, mares often get more unsettled I've been told but as I've only bought mares I can only comment on what they're like when you first get them.
 
I agree with the others, 6weeks isn't that long. Try and get an Instructor to help you also is there someone on the yard who would be willing to help you in the mean time? I would stop the sugar beet, it does send some horses silly, maybe try a hi-fi or allen & page fast fibre.
 
She sounds to me like she is testing your leadership. Horses are very hierarchical, if you are not giving the leadership she needs then she is looking to be the leader. My gelding is very like this. You need very firm boundaries, personal space must be respected at all times, if she comes into your space unasked then do what her mother would have done and back into her until she moves away. You do not need to hit her to make her understand you are in charge, be aware at all times of your space and act as soon as she enters it, praise when she "asks" first and always positively reinforce all desired behaviours.

Hope everything works out for you, remember it can take up to 2 years for a horse to settle properly.
FDC
 
I allow about 2 years to get the horse and myself totally tuned in to each other.

A new horse in a new environment will normally play up.

The most important thing is to get a strict routine going and getting the new horse established to it.

As above have said you need a good Mentor someone who has had a lot of experience with horse management.

Good luck.
 
Buy a clicker and download some information on clicker training.
e.g. http://on-target-training.com/ - I've got Shawna's book, and it is very good at teaching you how to use clicker training. Also check out www.hartshorsemanship.com which has information on how to shape behaviour.
It changes the dynamics of the relationship - she'll start looking for what makes you click and treat (i.e, being good!), rather than it all being focused around her being naughty. Feed only hay, and make her earn her hard feed - get some Lite Balancer pellets (I use Spillers Lite) and use those as your treat reward - they only get a mugful of those a day, so they're ideal for treating with a clicker, but the horse is still getting all her vitamins and minerals. And it's fun to do, so you and she will start to enjoy each other's company on the ground. Once you get into clicker training you can use it to improve every part of her behaviour, whether it's standing quietly out of the way in the stable while you muck out, or at the mounting block.
 
Thanks everyone , some great advice will definitely try some of the suggestions. Went back to the yard this evening with a new attitude trying to be assertive. Mucked out with no problem after I told her to out my space so feel much better. Going to get riding instructor to give us some lessons on ground work. Also contacted more experienced friend who is going to help. Thanks again:D
 
I'm glad you're feeling more positive OP. That is half the battle.
I really would advise against mucking out while she is in the box, though. It is a very dangerous practice, if the horse moves quickly for any reason - and they are extremely unpredictable - either of you could be severely injured.
 
You are right about mucking out, only leave her in coz it's blowing a gale outside and lashing rain. Otherwise she would be out.
 
Don't give up - you need to be more confident around the horse. She is testing you out and it sounds like she is winning. You need to be firm but fair. If you are feeding the full sugar sugarbeet I would cut it out. Sugar can adversely affect some horses. You can get speedibeet which is unmolassed sugar beet and only 5% sugar. It also only takes 10 minutes to soak instead of hours. I notice you also said that you are feeding cool fibre - this contains alfa which may also be affecting your horse. If I were you I would just feed a little speedibeet with something like hi-fi lite, but give her plenty of hay/haylage to keep the weight on. You will get there.....just hang on in there, get confident (even when you don't feel it inside) and get an instructor to give you a helping hand. Good luck!
 
Oh poor you. I would definitely get an instructor in who can see first hand what's going on and can then tell you how to handle your mare.
It's all about how clear your aids/signals/cues are and the timing of those signals. Each time we interact with our horse and apply the aids/signals we are teaching our horse how they should behave and react. And, if an unwanted behaviour is not challenged or corrected it reinforces the unwanted behaviour.
I would say that it's nigh on impossible to give advice without being right next to you as somebody needs to show you how to deal/correct these unwanted behaviours and how quick you need to be. Go on the BHS register of instructors - there's bound to be an instructor close to you. Best of luck and I'm sure you'll crack it in the end.
 
LIZ66 said:
I would def suggest finding an understanding instructor who will come and spend time with you - not just lessons in the school, but giving advice on handling on the ground. When I bought my first horse (I was also 40) I found a lovely local instructor who gave me lots of help and even cycled with me when I went out hacking the first few times as I had no one to ride out with.
I don't have loads of experience but I think that 6 weeks is not that long - it can take a few months to build up a trust relationship and you may find that your mare is just testing you to see if you can be the boss!
Good luck - I'm sure all will be fine.
Click to expand...

I must 2nd this advice. I made all the mistakes possible - went to view and bought my first horse on my own, a total novice :eek::eek::eek: ( I now know!)
He was a 6 yr old cob who completeley took the mick!
I found a wonderful instructor who not only taught me riding but groundwork manners etc - she was my lifeline and saved us both literally. One day he nearly killed me by barging into me in a tiny tack room.

Dont panic - dont give up. You are on diy which is good - lots of people around to help and advise.
Read as much as you can, watch as much as you can and ask as much as you can - in real life and on horsey forums.

PS - my cob is now almost 9 - entering our 3rd year together and love him to bits - if i can do it anyone can!!!

Enjoy ! :D:D:D
 
Tie up hay net outside. Give her a groom/pick feet to get her use to you going round her back end and dont let her corner you either.Get an instructor it will be money well spent in the long term. She is young so will need lots to keep her busy. Remember they learn a routine fast! Make it all pleasant for both of you.

But definitely get some help, its good to learn together. It took me a year to get to know my ones quirks etc. But as she is young get some help, it will make you more confident and this will pass over to your horse. She needs good manners to last her and you a lifetime.


The best advice I was ever given was make life easy for yourself. Plenty of instructors who freelance ask at riding schools nearby etc

Turn out more if possible if she isnt being ridden. Good luck you will be fine. Some good advice already.
 
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