Fitting everything in - how do you all manage..?

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diddy

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Hi everyone! Sorry if this goes on a bit...

I hope you don’t mind me asking for advice in my very first post! I am just about to get myself a horse again after having children etc. and am very excited! However, I'm also just a tiny bit worried about how I'm going to get everything done. I was looking at the recent post about how all you lovely horsey mums manage and was hoping you might have some advice/reassurance for me..!

Basic info - in no particular order, I have young-ish children and a full-time job. And a dog. And a husband. And I'm looking for (hopefully found!) a nice native-type pony that I can share with the nippers after a dozen or so years of being horseless.

Basically my choice is a lovely posh yard about 10 minutes drive from home where I can pay to have someone turn out etc. if I get stuck at work or whatever. Or a much more down-to-earth diy yard closer to home where I have to do everything myself. For various reasons (not only money, honest!) I'd rather go for the cheaper yard nearer home. But am worried that I'm counting on finding people ont he yard who'll help me out or finding someone I can pay to do the same...

How do you all manage with everything you have going on..? Or should I just go with the flow and hope everything will work itself out as it usually does :o)

I'd love to hear all your stories - good and bad!

And thank you - I hope I can become a very active poster once I have something useful to share with everyone!

Diddy x
 
Will the posh yard do assisted DIY - where they do some things and you do others or will it have to be full livery? Or will they do full livery mon-fri and DIY on a weekend? I have just me, no children, no dogs and no hubby but I do work full time and have to travel a little bit with work and I wouldn't want to put my boy on a DIY yard where I was relying on meeting other people to help me. If I'm going to get caught up late at work or if I have to go away for a few days I like having the peace of mind that I can pay someone and my horse will get done. My lad is on DIY most of the time but because the yard offer services it means I just ask and he gets sorted. :)
 
Yes I agree with previous poster. I work f/t have 4 horses, which I keep at home, dogs, chickens, husband and 3 kids ( 1 nearly off hand) and honestly I end up focing myself to ride as I have no time to do anything well or thoroughly. You do need 'fallback' and if the posh yard offers 'services' believe me you will welcome those when you have an ill child or you are unwell and you have dinner to cook etc etc. Unless of course you can find a reliable aide at the DIY who can maybe do 2 mornings or so for you regularly and more when you need it! Don't juggle too much is my advice - you will frazzle yourself..............don't I know it!
 
hi there it is possible if you want it.i have 7 kids 3 of which are older so its easier,2 horses at diy 3 dogs.but i dont work and eldest daughter does horses with me when she isnt at collage,we r on a little friendly place were there are just 3 of us.if you work full time you are going to need some help,i would defo do you homework as some livery yards are a nightmare and thats why i dont do them,hope you find the right work/home/horse/balance and im sure you will be fine.ps you need to find a yard that is also child friendly,as even though i kids you have to appreciate that some people dont want them around:)
 
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Hi Diddy,

In your position I would go with the full livery for the reasons that others have said. At least whilst you get into the swing of things again.

DIY is great - when the sun is shining, the children are happy (and/or at school/with someone else) and everything is ticketty boo. On days when it is wet/cold, the children are bored/whingey and you have a horse to do then it is horrendous, the basic chores take over and horse ownership becomes a grind, leaving little time to actually enjoy your horse, let alone ride.

Is the full livery stable, or pasture?

Most of my Boarders are working Mothers like you.
I only do full board (pasture or stall) some people come up daily, others as and when they can/or they feel like it. They can do as much, or as little, with their horses as they please, anytime they like, but if, for some reason they can't get up here then they can stay at home (-15C, blowing a hooley and flipping unpleasant) and not worry that their horse has been fed, bought in, turned out etc, etc.

Having struggled with a child, two or three horses on DIY myself (although as we were all in the same boat at my old yard, job sharing was common and worked out well) if finances could cope then I would have gone down the full livery route myself, at least in the winter time.

Enjoy your horse:)
 
Well, the biggest thing you are getting right is your choice of horse. Get something nailed to the floor, that's safe for the children and you won't go far wrong. You need something that lives off fresh air - lol - and is hardy!

Why not get something for you? As a working mum, you deserve an outlet, a hobby that makes you happy - and is good exercise - that the whole family can get involved in. Fantastic, you'll be opening up a whole new world for your children

I would go full livery for now, until you and your new horse gel, then decide from there. You have too much responsibility until you're back in the swing of things to give it your all for now, I think. Professional help means you won't have guilt as otherwise diy will take all your time and leave you feeling depleted.:)
 
Ditto what the others have said. Go for the full livery at least until you get a good idea of how much time you are realistically going to have for the horse. If it turns out that you have enough time to go DIY then great, go for it, but it's not worth the risk if you find that you can't spread yourself so thinly.
 
Hi everybody,

Thank you for your replies - all very helpful! Yes, the smarter yard does assisted diy so I would probably go for that so they can bring in and I don't have to rush back in the evenings. Both yards have year-round turnout which is great. And thanks for the reassurance Achinghips - I'm looking to keep myself happy and hoping that the kids will enjoy it too so I don't need to feel guilty!

Btw, I now feel like a complete lightweight - 7 kids! 4 horses! 3 dogs! I look like a right slacker now :)

Diddy x
 
As others have said - go for the assisted DIY.

I am on a small private yard on DIY but with 'add-ons' - for instance on the 3 days I work, I do him i the morning, but the YM gets my horse in for me - if I go on holiday, they do him. If something unexpected comes up, I can text YO or YM and they will sort my horse out.

Good luck with your 'new' hobby - I hope you and your kids enjoys it.
 
Thanks guys. Boxers - I'm already worried about holidays and I haven't actually bought anything yet! VoR - fab idea - I instantly get what your name stands for :D
 
I would say go for a horse that can live out 24/7. My older boy lives out 24/7, he doesn't need much in the way of rugs, is a good doer, and is barefoot. He is no hassle at all! And because there are other nice people who keep their gees in the same field, if I can't get down to check him I can ask them, or pay someone a couple of pounds to do it. :) We have five horses, they are all high maintenance due having to be in at night during the winter (all TBs or TB x'es), apart from him, he's just easy!

Something I would say though, is don't go for a lami prone native pony or cob, as what with muzzles and supplements and really restricted grazing (and also an obligation to excercise it regularily and consistantly) it can all be quite stressful. You would be better going for a hardy horse breed, Appaloosas (what my oldie is) are pretty awesome, and you can get little'uns, they can have a bit of attitude but are generally very honest, also Irish Draughts (though may be a bit big? but they really are gentle giants), and although they aren't really my cup of tea, I have heard a lot of good things about Quarter horses.
 
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Hello echoing what the others have said I would definitely go for assisted DIY. I have one child (now 3) and work 3or 4 days a week which involves a fair bit of travelling, my horse used to live out 24/7 which worked out fine when I had friends on the yard already who I knew would do one end of the day for me. I am now on assisted DIY and it really takes the pressure off as I now do my girl at one end of the day on my work days and know she is properly taken care of at the other. I also like the fact that when I have really long days eg 6am -8pm that I can have her completely done for me and just go home and sleep! My husband has also commented on what a difference it has made to our family life as when he isn't away on business we get to spend most evenings together.

Good luck with the horse hunting can't wait to see your new family member x
 
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