Following on from 'pushy parents'...

I went to a local ODE on saturday, for charity very relaxed, adults and childrens. When I was warnming up for dressage (well troting a circle) I heard this mother going on and on at her daughter, who was I guess about 7. Do this do that, you either do this or we get in the lorry now and go home your choice! the little girl said you are not being very nice please stop. The mother replied I will not stop. I had to go in then (pony club mother I hasten to add) I did also hear some lovely parents who just wanted the kids to have:)
 
I do agree with nickynoos on that particular point. Best turned out prize should go to best turned out or else what was the point?
 
So godd to hear it was a success.

Unfortunately pushy parents a re in all sports. I also do judo, & in the southwest there is one dad in particular who looks aggressive, & is extrodinarily loud. It's only meant to be the coaches who help the kids in a contest, but pushy dad is yelling is face off at his (under 10 year old) sons. The other kids find it intimidating (probably why he does it). It's not like he's helping, he's never practiced the sport himself. It's amazing how many top level, knowledgable parents (according to themselves) there are who've never stepped foot on a mat.

At our competition he was told shut up or your kid will be disqualified. He knew we meant it so it worked. They are just like kids, trying to push boundaries to see what they can get away with. You just want to say to this guy, that it's not life or death or the ruddy olympics! Get things into perspective & let the kids coach coach them (& they might win more). The kid can't listen to 2 sets of instructions at once.
 
My daughter is just sort of between lead rein jumping stage, and jumping off lead rein. We don't have jumps, or an arena at home, so she only gets to practice at ponyclub rallys or friendly local shows.

I am always grateful to the shows that do allow her outside assistance, and let me go in to the arena with her and lead pony round once before letting her go, shout whay way to go when she gets lost (she gets nervous, and is only 7!), grab pony if it speeds off, and pick her up if she fall off.

So far she has just done clear rounds jumping like this, so not a competitive situation, and hopefully by the time she is doing actuall competitions she will be able to go in confidently herself, but until then I don't think she would actually go in to the ring if she didn't know I could come in too and help her out! The tolerance of stewards, judges, and waiting competitors in letting her join in is always much appreciated.

Sometimes I do need to be pushy with her as well - if she is having a wibble about something I know very well she will enjoy and manage then yes, I do tell her to get on with it. Afterwards she is always pleased that she decided to at least try!
 
Its not just horse shows, my son plays rugby and I have actually heard parents encourage their children to deliberately 'take a certain child out of play' in other words injure him so he has to leave the field because he has already scored 3 tries in that game! Some parents these days are nuts!
 
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