Foot Mouth Moments - Share!

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Worried1

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So after a weekend of snow, ice, snow, slush and VERY fresh horses I had a reall giggle when someone reminded me of a very funny foot in mouth moment!

Before we moved to Dressage Volente, we kept our horses On livery. Blitz was then a real baby and had gone through a bit of a thug stage! He'd picked one of the grooms up to play with ;) so with dentist coming we decided one of us should be there to supervise!

I was working and Mr Worried was teaching so my sister offered to be there.

Dentist arrived and my sister went in to catch Blitz.

Dentist asked a few general questions and then the conversation went like this:

"This is Mark Butler's horse isn't it?" said the dentist.

"yes" said my sister, "this is his youngster."

"is he not around then?"

"no he's working."

So what's he like then? He's gay isn't he?"

"erm I hope not! He's marrying my sister next week!'

The dentist was MORTIFIED!
 
Priceless!

I was competing at Lummen in the dim and distant past when they used to hold a event alongside the international show-jumping. Someone had pointed out Gerry Mullins to me and told me he was a famous international show-jumper, so when I spied him in the evening I got a piece of paper, hopped on my pony bareback, trotted up to him and asked if I could have his autograph. He asked why, and I said "Because you used to be a famous show-jumper" :o. He got really offended and his groom who was falling about laughing managed to cough out that he'd won some large prestigious Derby in Germany the week before. Needless to say I was puce. I did get his autograph though!
 
being in a night club back home at 18/19 ish so 10 years back and refusing to believe whilst drunk a man owned Diamond Hall Red and telling him as such. I walked away to then be told no he really did own him :o

Edit to say I think it was when he was still with Mark Todd as well just after the sydney olympics :o :o
 
Whilst warming up for my first novice xc at west wilts I was slightly nervous and a lovely guy offered to walk round with me for a bit. We chatted about course and he very kindly gave me advise on the strides and some lines to take. I told him I'd love to do more eventing and asked how often he got to event, he told me he was lucky enough to event regularly. Any way, said good bye, he was up first and we both went clear in exactly the same time :)

Got in the car to come home, picked up the h&h and there he was, Chris king on the front cover :) duhhh!
 
Mine isn't horsey.

At my wedding reception I was relaxing eating some dinner chatting to our best man who is my husbands best friend (he filed for divorce a week before our wedding).

He made a cheeky comment about being stuck with my husband forever to which I replied "don't worry, it's not permanent". I then realised what I had said and rendered myself speachless. He on the other hand was almost falling off his chair laughing.

To this day "it's not permanent" is still a running joke.
 
I started having lessons with the fittest male riding instructor ever. I was 16 and I thought he was the best thing. I used to just stare at him instead of paying attention to what he was saying!
Anyway I had told him my horse was the most amazing jumper. I told him that my horse had won this and that and was really special and how we were jumping 4ft3 courses blah blah.
So he said 'well seeing as your horse can jump like a stag let's do some jumping!'.
So he put up a warm up cross pole, I came round to it, my horse slammed the breaks on last minute and sent me flying over his head and the jump! I really hurt my arm and burst into tears!!

I was so mortified I could have died. I was kicking myself for shouting my mouth off, what an idiot lol.

Even worse, my riding instructor then got on my horse and really had to ride him to get him over the bloody x-pole. I don't think he ever believe that what I had told him was actually true! I think my horse was having a right laugh!
 
Lol, Firewell, I had a very similar experience, albeit that I was older and my trainer not actually good looking but an experienced professional.

First lesson with my showjumping instructor, with my lovely experienced Intermediate eventer, although I wasn't raving about our experience, I said what I wanted to work on was being braver to bigger fences, so he puts up a little x pole to start and last minute he slammed on the brakes and I rolled down his neck :eek::rolleyes: I bet he wondered how on earth I got round xc courses!

Horses are the best levellers!
 
A girl I knows horse stopped and slipped into a fence, got eliminated and she came out the ring moaning to me about it.

I said something like 'yeah it was odd, it didnt look like your fault, it almost looked like he just lost his balance on take off, like you didnt have any studs. Which obviously, only a complete idiot would ride in that ring without them.'

She didnt have any in did she!! Ooops!
 
I was being very rude about show horses while watching a showing class at a county show. I was being very rude about the way one rider was riding and the owner of the horse turns around and goes thats my horse and that rider is a professional and they have won lots. Things like that do not bother me in the slightest but my friend was slowly dying next to me from embarrassment.
 
I remember years ago at pony club camp at the end of the week we had a little 'one day event' as we were stood looking at the dressage scores as they came up my friend was moaning how bad her test was. One of the other girls at camp was a right spoilt brat (not just spoilt but she was truely horrible!) with a horse that had done xyz with its previous owner and I commented that 'oh well at least you beat so and so - typical the girl in question was stood right behind me!!
 
Santa_Claus said:
being in a night club back home at 18/19 ish so 10 years back and refusing to believe whilst drunk a man owned Diamond Hall Red and telling him as such. I walked away to then be told no he really did own him :o

Edit to say I think it was when he was still with Mark Todd as well just after the sydney olympics :o :o
Click to expand...

HAHA that was his usually chat up line!!!!! cant for life of me remember his name but friend of mine went out with him!!!!!!!
 
Santa_Claus said:
Ha ha not sure if that makes me feel better or worse!!
Click to expand...

Probably worded it wrong he liked everyone to know that he owned a famous horse.....boys showoffs!! (well his parents did) and from what i remember he was a very nice guy!

I was riding a racehorse at work a new one that had come off the flat in a piece of work boss asked me what i thought (infront of bloke I didnt know), i replied pretty average - Boss was like oh right well he is rated 130 on flat(pretty good) and Micheal the bloke i didnt recoginse(o'Leary Mr ryanair) has just paid 200grand for it!!!!:D
Cue me wanting to die!!! Did manage to say oh well Im only an eventer, what do I know!!
 
Someone came to try my horse for loan - he has never ever refused with me and as I was telling the girls mum that he will just jump anything and never stop he proceeded to refuse spectacularly with the girl... typical!
 
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