For those of you that have sharers...

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prettypony95

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Sorry but i think this is going to be long!

I have a young girl (12 years old) who shares my pony, rides him approx 5 times a week, I do all the yard jobs etc and she just rides him. She'd ride him everyday if she could but because he's an old guy and every horse deserves a day off at least once a week, i insist he has at least one day off a week. She (well, her parents) give a small contribution weekly also. We have no share agreement, but i will have one sorted asap.

Anyway...do any of you have young sharers for your horses/ponies? do you let them hack out on the road?
Where we are, there is no off road hacking, there is one bridle path but you have to go along the road to get to it and some idiots come zooming around the corners in their cars etc. My pony can be spooky so i am not very comfortable with her hacking him out without me with her, (the original plan was for me to hack out with her on my other horse but sadly he is recovering from pneumonia so i obviously cannot ride at all :( ) so...last weekend on the saturday i told her i didn't really want her to hack out at the moment until we move yards in a couple of weeks to where there is plenty of off road hacking and bridle paths etc, then last sunday i arrived at the yard, my pony was no where to be seen, no tack in the tack room, then 5 mins later she arrived back from a hack with 2 other young girls on their ponies (one is a 3yo pony, just been broken in :eek::eek::eek: ) so of course i was very annoyed that she'd taken him out after only the day before me telling her politely not to!! I reminded her again on the monday that i didnt want him hacking out from this current yard, and she said ok....anyway yesterday i got a text from a lady on the yard saying that the girl had taken him out for a hack again!!

So last night i took his tack home with me, so that she can only ride him when i'm at the yard - is this fair or am i being unfair????

Am I over-reacting? I have explained to her 5 times now that i do not want her to hack him out because he can be spooky, (she knows this!), and that accidents can happen on the roads involving horses and cars. Neither of her friends or her wear hi-viz out hacking, which makes me more annoyed, especially when i have all the hi-vis gear in the tack room right next to his tack!! The last thing i want is either of them to get hurt on the roads :mad::mad::mad:

What shall i do? Let it go and let her hack out? Or be firm and give her a warning, that if she goes behind my back again she won't be allowed to ride him again???


Cake for everyone who manages to get through all of that!!
 
Personally I wouldn't loan to a 12 yr old as at 12 I think they would be too immature to be in charge of the care of a horse, unsupervised. If you've told her and she's not listening speak to her parents and say how dangerous the situation is. Failing that I'd look for someone older to loan your horse who will listen and who you can trust.

I would definately have a loan agreement. It gives you piece of mind if nothing else. I have in my agreement no-one else is allowed to ride the horse excpet the loaner and that she must wear hi viz if hacking.
 
I think you do have to be firm, what you have done is right in my opinion. It is your horse, and she should respect your wishes. If she can't do that, then she should no longer have access to the horse.
I share someone elses horse, and I would never dream of going agaist their wishes.

Seeing as you have told her several times, I would be very angry and personally I would not let her use the horse again, for her own safety as well as the safety of your horse.
 
Is she insured? maybe he doesn't spook with her. Personally you have told her and she has ignored you, but have you asked how your pony behaved? might be doing him the world of good?
 
I'd be furious - your horse, your rules. She's lucky you're even contemplating letting her carry on riding the pony.
 
I don't think you are being unreasonable, you have told her several times not to hack out without you. I suggest you talk to her and her parents again and if she still doesn't listen I would terminate the loan immediately.
Thank goodness there hasn't been an accident already, its sounds perhaps like she's still too young to be down the yard on her own and not ready for the responsibility yet, so I'd perhaps look into finding a new loaner.
Hope you sort it out :)
 
One rule - unless she has her Riding & Road Safety test, then no, she should not go out on the road unless accompanied by an approved adult (approved is by YOU the owner of the pony).
At 12 she is too young to assume responsibility and by ignoring your request and also by not using the hi-viz left out, then by doing so has shown that she is not responsible enough to take out pony unless an adult is there with her. So - no - you are not over-reacting.

Kids do silly things without meaning to or thinking of the consequences & you (or parent) HAS to take on the responsibility for them.

Good luck - get your agreement done asap.
 
thank you rachaelpink! I agree with what you are saying about being immature, i was rather shocked by her and her friends who are the same age, i had a pony when i was 11, and i'm sure i never behaved like they do now! Everything was going fine, up until the last week or so when 2 of her friends have moved to the yard and they are wanting to hack out all the time :mad: I really don't want to regret agreeing to the share because at the time i was under a lot of pressure to find a rider for him, because i didn't have the time to work him as well as my other horse :(
 
thank you everyone!!
Kaylum - my pony is insured with me as a rider, and i have told her parents that she needs to be insured as a rider also, but they don't seem to be doing anything about it! i have not asked her how he behaved, i have been too angry to ask her! she knows that he spooks because he has done it many times in the arena, and out hacking when i was walking with her!


I will get that agreement done now :)

thanks for all the advise :) keep it coming!! x
 
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It doesn't matter how well he behaved or whether he spooked or not; she should be doing what she's been asked to do. I'd be furious, especially as you've asked her twice and she's ignored you. At the very least I would've taken the tack away. You are a very reasonable person to be considering continuing this arrangement; she's a very lucky girl but I doubt she's mature enough to realise this!
 
Not anymore (got her own now) but I had a sharer in her early teens for my 14.2. Let her do pretty much anything within reason tbh. But she was the competent sort not fresh from a few years lessons & pony is a bombproof schoolmistress who had already seen & done pretty much everything a teen could think up.
It sounds really like yours is being deliberately ignorant or just inexperienced. Either way she is only 12 so I would be inclined to go easy on her. From her pov hacking with her mates is probably her main enjoyment of riding. Maybe she thought you just meant not to hack on her own or she doesn't understand properly why you've said not to. At that age the concept of real danger or being in a rta isn't something they are going to readily believe will happen to them.
In your shoes I would sit her down & have a pleasant friendly chat.
- if he's spooky alone then fully explain why you won't let her hack alone or with unsuitable companions. But maybe tell her who on the yard you are happy to let her hack with.
- insist on hi viz & why, maybe show her some pics to prove what a difference it makes
- get her involved in the care side of things too, not only will she feel more involved I'm not a fan of kids riding when they like without the responsibility.
- offer to do something else once or twice a week with her till you've moved & she can hack. An informal lesson, teaching her to lunge, gymkhana games with her & the other youngsters she hacks with etc. Clear round jumping over trotting poles if needs be. Or get her practicing in hand showing in a field.
 
Just tell her and her parents, no hacking, I would look for someone else.
I know that this happens, and it usually leads to the end of the loan.

PS if you are moving she will probably want to stay at current yard with her friends anyway.
 
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thank you,

Miss L Toe - i think she is wanting to continue riding him even though i am moving my boys to different yard :(

littlelegs - i have explained to her why i dont want him hacking and she appeared to understand at the time, but is now obviously taking the p***!

she does all the care sides of things with him, except mucking out (i'm fussy and don't like people doing my horses beds :rolleyes::rolleyes:)

she had a pony on loan last year for a year, so at the time when we met, she seemed competent enough!

she jumps him, lunges him, i have even offered to take her to shows!

all the people on the yard who i'd be happy for her to hack with, don't hack out much :(:(

thanks for the advice everyone-i really appreciate it!
 
I know you have already explained why but I'm guessing at 12 she doesn't realise the full implications. I wouldn't go as far as graphic pics of dead horses at that age but certainly some facts & figures on rtas involving horses & riders.
 
littlelegs said:
I know you have already explained why but I'm guessing at 12 she doesn't realise the full implications. I wouldn't go as far as graphic pics of dead horses at that age but certainly some facts & figures on rtas involving horses & riders.
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okay thank you! will do that :)
 
Me persoanlly would tell her to do one as she clearly isn't listening & he is your pony!

Maybe try having a conversation with her & parents. Tell them your not happy that she has been told on more than one occasion NOT to go out hacking, but she has gone out on more than one occasion & unless she abides by what you say she will no longer be sharing the pony.

Hope things get sorted :)
 
One other thing - where are her parents when she is at the yard & where are they when she is out hacking?
Do you have contact with them or is the yard the childcare arrangement where they drop her off & pick her up later? In which case, are her parents even aware of what is going on?
If the latter, then if they do dump & go - then I'd be terminating the agreement immediately on safety grounds as there is no way I would have an unsupervised minor at my yard! (particularly one who disobeyed simple requests with regards to safety)
 
Bluepegasus2802 said:
I think you do have to be firm, what you have done is right in my opinion. It is your horse, and she should respect your wishes. If she can't do that, then she should no longer have access to the horse.
I share someone elses horse, and I would never dream of going agaist their wishes.

Seeing as you have told her several times, I would be very angry and personally I would not let her use the horse again, for her own safety as well as the safety of your horse.
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Ditto this, I was sharing horses when I was that age but no way would I have gone behind the owners back!
 
I have to be honest the insurance thing I would insist on and want to see proof of it before she was allowed to ride again. It would be dreadful if she had an accident which can so easily happen and not be covered.

Re the going out as a person who loans then I think its important that you stick to the agreements made. I'd be a little upset to find that my pony had been taken out when it was agreed that they would not, a couple of weeks is not such a hardship to wait.
 
I would be ending the share, if she has an accident you will be responsible and it will be you her parents will try to sue with one of those lovely ambulance chasing 'no win no fee' companies:(
I did have a sharer, she was 15 and rode my mare to start with and all was well, then i got the tb and she moved onto riding him but it just didn't go well, in the end i had to say i wasn't happy for her to continue riding him as it was an accident waiting to happen, i said she could go back to the mare but she wasn't interested. Thankfully her parents understood my concerns about her safety even if their daughter didn't!
 
I would insist that the parents take out 3rd party insurance for the rider before allowing her to hack anywhere. If you have vets'b ill insurance then I would also insist that cover is taken out for when she is riding/in charge of pony. The agreement should of course be with the rider's parents - she isn't old enough to sign a legal document.
I would want to know that a responsible adult knew exactly what was happening to both child and pony at all times.
 
So.... You said no, she did it anyway. You said no again... And still went and hacked! I would be absolutely fuming. She is one lucky young lady to be in the situation she is and she needs to appreciate it! I'd be speaking to her parents and explaining that she should be riding by your rules. To be honest it doesn't matter if she is 12 or 40 she should respect what you say. I would be very frank with her, and say that the situation with the pony will be compromised if this is how she is going to continue.
 
I agree with the other posters ,you need a sit down meeting with these parents to formally lay down the ground rules.
At twelve I was hacking alone on very sharp ponies but they where my ponies and that's a completly different thing.
 
Of course it matters whether she's 12 or 40, she's a child & by the sounds of it a child who hasn't owned her own all her life. I would expect my 7yr old to follow an instruction like that, but she's spent her entire life round ponies. But I'd cut the ops sharer a bit of slack, a 40yr old I would be physically restraining myself after the first time.
 
OP taking the tack home may not make any difference. She's the type to go behind your back, so may borrow tack from a friend and ride anyway. She won't care if it fits, same as she doesn't care if he has a day off and only does it because you insist (or do you only assume he gets a day off because you've asked for it?). At 12 she's old enough to know right from wrong. She knows the pony belongs to you and that she should follow your rules, regardless of if she agrees with them, yet she doesn't. I see that as naughtyness and I'd get rid of her.
 
I respect what you say littlelegs but I meant that if you are riding someone's horse you should do as they ask regardless of the age. I'm sure she's a nice 12 yr old! :)
 
thank you everyone for all the posts!! i really appreciate the input from all of you :):)

I know i'm being too nice about all of this, If i had my way i'd have told her that she cannot continue to ride him anymore, but my parents are quite adamant that she should continue riding him, but obviously not to hack him out! I had a bad feeling that we'd become "trapped" in this share, if you like. I have only met her mother, and she is lovely, but when they came to try him the mother was very insisting on the fact that once the girl starts to ride him and develop a relationship with him etc we could not just drop them which in my opinion is totally reasonable, as the pony they loaned previously was sold beneath them, the owner had apparently called them one day to say that they'd sold him! So of course this makes me feel bad wanting to tell her to do one! Arghhhh i'm such a wuss :( :(

The Fuzzy Furry - yes her parents drop her off at the yard, then pick her up later on, i really doubt they know what's going on, i'm guessing the girl tells them that everything is fine! I think she's the sort of girl who does get away with most things, and she probably did what she like'd with her previous loan pony :(
 
I've had two sharers in the past - both in their late 20s at the time. I had a share agreement from the off and they were only ever allowed to hack out in company, i stipulated in the agreement no hacking alone as he can be very spooky with tractors etc and I didnt want the worry. But this was all done up front and in the agreement, also insisted on rider insurance. Both shares worked out really well. I wouldn't go with anyone under 20 personally but that's just me.
 
prettypony95 said:
The Fuzzy Furry - yes her parents drop her off at the yard, then pick her up later on, i really doubt they know what's going on, i'm guessing the girl tells them that everything is fine! I think she's the sort of girl who does get away with most things, and she probably did what she like'd with her previous loan pony :(
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Ok, so do YOU own the pony or does your parents?
If the latter (and it seems they carry clout) then you will have to put it to them that they (your parents) will be held responsible for a minor who has no parental care whilst at the yard or on a pony. Add that in these days of litigation that they WILL be found liable in the case of an accident (poss jointly with parents of said child and also yourself) and that you will no longer be responsible for any happenings between child & pony if they will not agree to simple measures being put in place.

If you own the pony, stop the 'loan' right now. If childs parents cannot be even bothered to be around for their child, nor help child adhere to any given policy, then finito, end it.. now.

Forget the previous pony being taken away & this upsetting the child (mind you, was that also pulled due to 'inaccuracies' ???)

Get a proper agreement done, (make sure detailing is in there as to parent on the yard at all times when child (yes, child, a minor, under the age of 16) is there. This includes when child is riding out too.

Id be phoning the parents tonight to explain why you are stopping this arrangement:
1. due to child NOT doing as asked
2. also child ignoring safety measures despite being explicitly asked to NOT go on the road, but also to wear hi-viz
3. Liability issues.

Its not going to be fun, but nor will it be 'fun' if said childs parents sue YOU for an accident..........
 
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