For those of you who have taken a break - how did you cope?

[emfen1305]

After 6 months of vet bills, box rest and stress trying to get my cob sound, I have conceded defeat and found somewhere to turn him away to retire as he is perfectly fine in the field. I have had horses on DIY livery for 9 years and in that time have gone up twice a day almost every day except the odd holiday or late nights with work so I am really struggling with the concept of not having to go. The place he is going to is 1.5 hours away so only weekend visits will be possible. I am viewing this as a break rather than giving up with a view to see how I feel in a years time. My plan is to save with the intention of getting another horse but I still go through these waves of sadness that I won't see him everyday and worried on how I will cope without the routine of having a horse - I am sure lots of other people have been through this, how did you cope?

 

[catembi]

I had an enforced break when I sold one equestrian proper to buy another & the purchase fell through. All my stuff was in storage & the dogs & horses were farmed out as it was only supposed to be a month or two...ended up being nine months... I was living in my now-husband's house. Anyway, I knew it was only temporary, couldn't do anything about it & so I decided to make the most of it by buckling down hard with my doctorate & doing a lot of the heavy lifting, & I also got into running properly & started doing half marathons & a 20-miler. I thought, I'll never have this time again, so let's make the most of it. And when I woke up in Feb with sleet battering the windows, I made sure I realllllyy enjoyed not having to go out in it & do morning stables...!

 

[Flicker]

I’m currently on a break. I go to the gym a lot, swim, have a running group, do night classes and am slowly catching up on all the reading I’ve been meaning to do for years. I think for me the secret was finding another routine of other things I enjoyed, which meant that I had to try out a few different activities until I found the ones that work for me. I also have a lesson on a friend’s horse for her one day a week, which helps to keep riding fit. I have found a good instructor who has taken me right back to basics so all my bad riding habits are slowly being ironed out.

 

[Cortez]

I am nearly on a break - my last remaining horse is retired and living out - and I absolutely love it: not having to get up to feed, not being out in all weathers, not having to build the whole day around horse.

 

[mariew]

I am 4 years down the line and starting to miss it now,but horses are so expensive at the moment.i have no chance of buying one I want. I help a friend with her horses sometimes, ride at a local riding school once / week and have picked up loads of new hobbies. There are days when the wind and rain is howling and mud in fields is deep and I am kind of grateful I don't have to get up at 6am!

 

[Hannahgb]

I took up running and cycling so for some reason am still outside in the dark, wet and cold!
Also go on long hikes at the weekend with the dogs.
Regular gym.

Miss it like mad, but don't miss the stress and worry!

 

[Tarragon]

I am not sure it counts, but I had a big break from riding in my mid 20s to mid 30s, with career and family taking centre stage. I got my riding fix by exercising hunters and loved it! Riding these glorious horses that I wouldn't have been able to own myself, and just the riding with none of the stress of ownership.

 

[Highmileagecob]

I think you may struggle with the side effects of not seeing him daily, and wondering if he is being looked after as you would look after him.
I though long and hard about getting a sharer or part loan for my cob, but decided that I would not be able to delegate and remain on speaking terms! This summer I turned the lad away with much reduced exercise (house move, retirement for me, new grandchild) and have had to start picking up his work load again as he couldn't get used to the change of routine. Good luck - if you have a trustworthy livery in place, it will make things easier.

 

[Nudibranch]

Mine went on loan locally some of the time when I was at uni and I was obviously busy so it was a bit of a relief (they only ever lived out anyway mind). However I did join the university riding club as life totally without is just wrong ?

If I was on an enforced break and had some spare time, I'd definitely book regular lessons, or do some kind of share if I could find someone sane to share with.

As a teenager I used to volunteer at a local rescue which was really enjoyable.

 

[Birker2020]

After 6 months of vet bills, box rest and stress trying to get my cob sound, I have conceded defeat and found somewhere to turn him away to retire as he is perfectly fine in the field. I have had horses on DIY livery for 9 years and in that time have gone up twice a day almost every day except the odd holiday or late nights with work so I am really struggling with the concept of not having to go. The place he is going to is 1.5 hours away so only weekend visits will be possible. I am viewing this as a break rather than giving up with a view to see how I feel in a years time. My plan is to save with the intention of getting another horse but I still go through these waves of sadness that I won't see him everyday and worried on how I will cope without the routine of having a horse - I am sure lots of other people have been through this, how did you cope?

when I lost Bailey after 17 years I went to the gym everyday. I lost over a stone in weight and toned up. It gave me more confidence. At first I thought it would be really hard to be away from the yard and routine but I actually found I quite enjoyed it.

It was only because life had been so stressful previously trying to keep a horse sound and all the costs associated with this, and going up twice a day at times, like you. rehab after rehab for years and years with good times in between and soundness before the next issue would plunge you into darkness again.

So I had that time to recover both mentally and physically and it took me 4 months to find Lari.

I think the solution is to keep busy. I was leaving work , getting home for 4pm, having a cuppa and a snack and then going up the gym for a spin session and/or a swim so I could be home for around 6.30pm so I had the rest of the evening to relax. I also read a lot of books and my partner and I went for some nice walks.

i saved a bit of money too which I used to pay off my outstanding vets bills and then we went out for meals and I bought some new clothes.

 

[ester]

Having lived on the yard the pony was on too it was a big change (for someone that doesn’t cope well with change) - new job, new location so all quite full on for a bit. - he retired to somerset , I moved to Cambridge.

I did fill my time pretty easily and made the most of it being easier to travel to see friends without the tie. And played with their horses. I go see him every 3 months or so. The bike being a ‘get into the countryside’ partial replacement. That’s been about 4 years in the end.
In a lot of ways the biggest thing I missed was seeing people at the end of the day and having a natter etc, I hadn’t really accounted for that until I was in a new place and didn’t have it.

I started sharing in September, fairly close by, not being entirely sure how I’d slot it back in to the life that felt pretty busy already ?. But he’s mostly taken priority ?

 

[[59668]]

I didn't cope. I lasted a month before I had another. It was awful.

 

[windand rain]

I didn't last long before I had another 2 foals about 4 months in total I was very unsettled and listless as if the routine had gone out of my life the horse was the skeleton of my day and the whole thing got very wobbly ended up with multiple instead of one though

 

[Jellymoon]

I had an enforced break a few years ago due to injury, around 6 months, really struggled at first but then got used to it and did all those things you mean to do when you are too busy with the horses. House was a bit tidier (once I could actually move) and more organised, friends got seen more often, dogs got nicer walks. I read more books and watched more TV with the kids. Had to get people to do horses for me, which I hated at first and then got used to. It was ok actually. Nothing is as exciting as riding though, and I was stoked to get back on.

 

[spacefaer]

I sold an inappropriate horse in the autumn of my A level year and decided not to replace him until after my exams. I then went travelling (ending up with show jumpers and carriage horses in Sweden and polo ponies in NZ which were very much not planned!)
Came back and bought a fun horse for a hobby sort before I went to college. He turned into my first BE eventer and set me on my path to event full time .... Not very good at taking a break!

 

[Bonnie Allie]

As others have said, invest in yourself - go to the gym, running, walking and study. There are some brilliant stackable credentials now available thanks to digital learning.

Or - learn a musical instrument or learn to code, both need daily practice to be proficient.

 

[Denbob]

I'm on a break at the moment, (had to put my last one down) haven't been able to go back for financial reasons, burnt through savings on vet bills and schooling livery. I have every intention of going back, but it has to be on my terms so for now I'm enjoying not having to face the elements, sleeping in past 5:45am and having a little bit of money to spend on myself. Joined a gym and got into weightlifting, have worked on friendships that vanished because I didn't have time to see them regularly and my house actually stays (semi) tidy. Allow yourself to relax if you're able, take advantage of freed-up time and money and put a long-term plan or goals into place for a share/loan/another one if you think that'll help you cope. Mine are along the lines of:

- Can afford something established, or close too and lessons
- Can afford some sort of transport to go out and do things
- Settled in a job with no plans to change and on a bigger/joint income

It's really hard at times, and even nearly two years on I do get teary thinking about how much I miss contact with horses, but my schedule doesn't allow for a regular commitment to a loan or share even at weekends so the mantra is "not now, but it'll come".

 

[Denbob]

Just to add, obviously it'll depend on schedules and all sorts of other stuff but are there any charities you could volunteer for that'll help get your horsey fix in? I know roles are really sought after but no harm in having a nosy if there's anything around you and you've got capacity.

 

[pistolpete]

I’m on an enforced break too bought my pony of a lifetime posh highland as a retirement present (!)and he’s now retired lame in a field ten minutes walk away. Oh how I’ve missed my field my routine my riding. To fill my time I walk the dog I have finally found a share pony one day a week. I meet friends have the odd massage and try to stay cheerful. I would love to say I’m happier with the extra sleep and cleaner car. Reality is I’d go back tomorrow if I could. Only been a year though. Maybe I’ll get used to it!! I do save money towards a new horsey. In the hope that it will become a reality again. Can’t while I still have Quin though really.

 

[spotty_pony]

Sorry to hear about your horse. Is it essential he goes so far away, is there nowhere you could turn him away a bit more locally so you could see him everyday?

 

[Horseadict]

I am not sure it counts, but I had a big break from riding in my mid 20s to mid 30s, with career and family taking centre stage. I got my riding fix by exercising hunters and loved it! Riding these glorious horses that I wouldn't have been able to own myself, and just the riding with none of the stress of ownership.

How did ot feel to give it up.

Mid 20s now and only recently got my first horse and he is high maintenance- very needy and very young. Not dure if i got him at the wrong time really.

 

[Red-1]

I gave up for almost 5 years in my 20's. I was establishing my career, buying my house, met my now husband etc. I initially didn't last long, got one with boyfriend's (now husband) blessing but then got an injury, and sold her again. The next absence was longer as I couldn't turn my head, lift anything etc. I also married, we got a shared house, latterly changed roles at work to an equine one as I healed.

I thought I was doing OK. However, my husband and mother insisted I was not and they actually pushed me to get a horse.

I think the only other time I was without even a Shetland was if I was 18 months ago. I was struggling to cope with mum's illness, was on the floor trying to sort it all out and firstly sent her onto livery and then sold my horse. I lasted a week after the actual sale before scouring Preloved for the most broken but potentially rehab-able horse I could fine and had one within a week, Rigsby. I just wanted one to love and look after. He did become rideable, mum died, I wanted to do more and Rigs has been joined by another. I am back on the merry go round.

I do sometimes think of swapping horses at home (past 22 years) for livery, but then saw the restrictions people had during Covid. I just had Covid the other week and it kept me sane, being able to do my horses and ride every day.

If my horses have been on a break, I have done loads of running, cycling and swimming. That has kept going even though I have 2 rideable ones now (although Rigsby doesn't get ridden much due to time constraints).

Could you look for a share? I did look, nothing was local enough, but I was open to that in order to scratch the itch.

Also, an hour and a half is likely too far for every day, but before we had our own place, I did keep my horse an hour away for a while. That was in 3 different towns, actually, because those were the best yards (although one of those was close to work, the others weren't). It was do-able on livery, I did 5 times a week. I would have though you could do 3 or 4 times a week? For me, it didn't feel bad in the two that were not close to work, as they were full livery so the 'need' to go was all about whether I wanted to, as opposed to having to.

 

[SO1]

I feel like I will be in this situation. Pony has spent nearly 2 years on rehab with 10 months where he was in normal routine in between.

On month 9 of rehab for tendonitis and up to 12 minutes trotting and he is not right now on a different leg either left fore or a hind vet back out on Monday. If it another soft tissue injury or requires more box rest I will give up. He is 20 I have had him for 15 years it is a good innings.

I can't afford 2 horses I am on part livery due to work so will have to give up.

Pre covid I would have been fine but I still am wfh and don't feel confident about spending lots of time with people. I live on my own.

I play Bridge every alternative Saturday and I hope I can afford to ride at a Riding School if I can find one that treats horses well. Maybe go on a riding holiday occasionally if I eventually feel brave enough to get on a plane.
.

 

[Crazy_cat_lady]

I've been away from horses for the last month, however it probably helped that id long fallen out of love with it - the cost, the time, the chores, even the riding.

I will definitely not be getting another.

I don't know if I'll ride in the future. If I do I'll be able to pick and choose where I go based on what I fancy doing eg a hack/ trying some more advanced dressage moves. I feel the odd inclination of "it would be quite nice to go for a ride" but nowhere near strong enough to miss it.

I use my free time to start working towards doing race for life in July (even though I hate running ?) also been relaxing around the house, will get to doing some gardening now the weather is changing. Also F1 is back!

I'd also like to hopefully have a baby in the next couple of years so would like to put what would have been "horse costs" away towards that though the cat decided to become my latest big outgoing by picking up a vet bill!

I always thought I'd have horses and no children but I'm no longer that horse mad little girl and haven't been for a while.

 

[Muddywellies]

I had a 3 month break between horses a few years ago and loved it! Loved the lie ins and being warm and dry and having clean fingernails.