For those who have given up horses...would you go back?

Polos Mum

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I think it's like a drug addiction for me - I have gone cold turkey, sometimes for years, but I always fall off the waggon and end up with four in the blink of an eye.

I keep them at home and the cost is therefore very different - paying £100's in livery would make the decisions much harder, I have sympathy for people who struggle with cash and I think that's why I like and often recommend the £20 a week share arrangements which are a bargain for a rider and bargain for someone who wants their horse exercised / a bit of free days off. Everyone is a winner
 

D66

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Shay,
Can you think how miserable and self serving your post might seem to someone who has given up owning, riding and looking after their horse but still enjoys the community spirit here, and now feels unwanted on many levels ?
 
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Good point ^

I've said now at least three times that I will give up horses for good and never lasted longer than 2 days before I needed to be around them again. Oops...:eek:

Although a lot of people on here who have "given up" say they also have free ones to to ride if they choose; this is not an option for me due to my height, weight, location, confidence issues. I envy those of you who don't have to do winters but can still ride!! :p
 

MyBoyChe

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I came back to horse riding and owning after an enforced break of about 15 years due to circumstance and finances. Im in my 50s now and cannot imagine not owning a horse, in fact I panic a bit about what else I would do to fill my time, nothing else really interests me enough to want to get so involved as you are with a horse. I am purely a pleasure rider, we hack out in the countryside and have no interest in competing or schooling. I love looking after him and just being with him, he definitely improves the quality of my life and makes me a nicer person. I suppose it all depends on where life takes you!
 

TheSylv007

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I lost my horse two weeks ago and she was my childhood dream come true. To be honest, I'm not sure I'll go back, it's lost its sheen for me despite being utterly horse mad all my life. The lows and the long winters, the expense and the heartbreak have been a lot to bear and I don't think I could go through it again. I started running a little while back to give me another focus away from horses and it's shown me that there are other things out there and it's a better way to meet different types of people, whereas the horsey world seems quite homogeneous. I've already made friends more easily doing that than I ever did with horses. I miss my mare horribly and at the moment I feel lost at the weekends, but there is also a sense of freedom, both in terms of time and finances. I now get enjoyment and fulfillment trying to beat parkrun times and entering races that I no hope in!
 

Wheels

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I had a break for a few years in my early twenties and then when I started again I was even more obsessed than I was as a child lol
 

Crazy_cat_lady

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I still have my own horse but have already decided I won't be replacing him when anything happens to him. He's 20 now with issues so I won't be selling him or anything but have definitely lost a lot of the passion i had for it due to various factors.
I think it really hit home when applying a credit card and a large amount of my outgoings were attributed to the horse i had always avoided working it out exactly til then! I'd started to lose some of the enthusiasm by that point so it drove the lack of feeling home.
I Don't think it helps he won't box so I can't compete perhaps if I had objectives such as going to do a dressage test I'd be more driven or getting to go for a gallop on the beach- I rode on the beach for the first time ever in Bournemouth when on holiday recently and it was the biggest thrill I've felt riding in a long time i didn't stop smiling. I think the only thing I would miss is going for a blast over the fields.

I wouldn't give up completely I don't think but not having my own would mean I could possibly share one once or twice a week though I've got used to keeping my own and can choose how I want him to be kept! I could then book experiences to do e.g. ride on the beach again/ try western riding or school master lessons.

I think part of it is if I didn't have a horse now I'd be moved out by now which is the main thing I want at this stage of my life. I'm also starting to really want children so feel at this point of my life my priorities/ things that matter most to me are starting to change. I was definitely shocked I could lose interest I always thought I'd end up with loads of horses and cats!!!!

I think if the right horse came along it may change but I certainly couldn't afford the initial outlay for one right now without obliterating my mortgage deposit savings.

Ideally I'll win the lottery buy a house with land then have a couple of selectively chosen horses!
 

touchstone

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I loved having horses and had boundless enthusiasm for even the most mundane jobs; tack cleaning was something I enjoyed and took pride in, a well turned out mount was important and poo picking was my daily meditation. I loved a rhythmic canter through the fields and the clip clop of hooves on the roads and having a blast at XC. The best times were just spent watching them eat and snooze, totally content, and their lovely grassy breath.

Then I ended up having to put my old cushings mare down and was horseless for the first time in years. It slowly dawned on me that I'd actually been under a huge amount of stress caring for her while watching for laminitis constantly, the weather was always too hot, too icy, too wet and grass growth affected. Hay supplies were difficult to get and impossible to soak where I am, so I resorted to expensive small bale haylage. Roads were getting increasingly busy with fewer drivers aware of how to drive around horses, nearby housing meant that we would get hordes of people out for walks who all wanted to feed my shouldn't be fed horse! There was always something to think about constantly. All pretty minor, but I suppose it just gets wearing.

For the first time in years I could stay out all day without having to get back to feed or bring in, and finances definitely improved.

I can't see me wanting to get back into them now, I just don't have the energy any more and enjoy doing other things, I still love horses, and admire them from a distance, but after a lifetime of owning and working with them it's nice to be able to chill with a good bottle of red and remember the good times! I don't visit the forum often, but pop in now and again, there are still horses in the family so I have a slight interest still.
I don't think it is self serving or miserable to say that life is actually better for some of us without our horses, and it might actually help somebody who has just lost a horse and is unable to replace it for whatever reason to know that there are positives as well as negatives in every situation.
 

splashgirl45

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this thread is very pertinent to me right now as i have decided to give up my loan horse due to my own physical problems. i am gutted and cant think of a way to keep her. the riding is not the most important thing to me, there are friends horses i could ride but its the bond with the horse which is important and i enjoy all of the looking after, grooming,mucking out etc.i have owned horses for over 50 years and thought i would give up after losing my 25 year old mare but i wasnt ready to give up and found my loan horse who is perfect for me and thought i still had a good few years left in me, but my health has made the decision and as i am in my 70's i know next winter would be too much for me....i am scared of the future as horses have been in my life for so long and this will be a complete lifestyle change. i will still be interested in horses and dont see why i shouldnt continue to post if i feel i can help someone...
 

Seton

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I've had horses all my life and gave up my last one 10 years ago due to personal reasons. However a friend of mine is keen for me to take on one she knows which needs a home and I'm very tempted. I live in the country now so keeping horses here compared to Surrey is ALOT cheaper so I'm now seriously considering it - Never say never I guess.....
 

Nativelover

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I’m currently having an enforced break, my darling boy had to be pts last year and it nearly broke me.
I’d love, love, love to have another, in fact have seen the perfect one for me but I simply can’t afford it. And despite all of the wonderful times I had with him there was always the problem of a livery yard.
Never in my life have I encountered such, lies, viciousness and deceit.
Being lied to about turnout, being forced into buying dreadful haylage, stealing of feed and bedding, paying for services and not getting them, being shouted and screamed at for no good reason!
I appreciate not all yards are like this and boy did I choose badly.
So if I could afford another I’d struggle to find a nice yard that is a reasonable distance away.
I actually don’t know how I did afford it, but my ‘pony’ money is now spent on my little girl.
 

L&M

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Op - I do get where you are coming from. Horsey life can be damned hard work sometimes, with little reward, especially after the winter we have just had, and the summer we are now having. Snow then drought - seems to me the only good months too own a horse are May and September!

However what keeps me going is the thought of 'what would I do' if I didn't have one? I don't do shopping/cinema/beauty salons and hate going on holiday, so although would be substantially better off, would be bored within a day.

I am also lucky to have a horse that is an angel on four legs and take him anywhere/do anything and know we will have fun and come home safely. I also have a horsey partner which helps keep up the motivation as have someone to share the highs and lows with.

However once my current horse retires (only 10yrs so hoping for several more years with him), I do think I would think very carefully about committing to another.....
 

Crazydancer

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My 26 yr old is now retired, and although I have been looking for about a year with the view to getting another, he's been a hard act to follow and I think my heart probably wan't in it as much as I'd thought. Now circumstances have changed and I'm moving him to full retirement livery, that will eat up the money that would have paid for a 2nd. The relief that I've felt has been surprising - hadn't realised how much I worried over things. I do have other things in my life now that I really enjoy, and would like to do more with, and like others, have the option to ride if I want.
 

ester

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See I don't do any of those things either and I don't find I get bored. It means I have time to visit friends that are dotted around country without worrying about who is going to do F, I help friends with their horses, grooming at shows etc. I've time to go to the gym/cycle to work etc. During the week I'm usually out 12 hours a day still and at the weekend I have to actively plan if I need one at home to catch up on jobs.

I always find this when I stop doing something, I wondered how I fitted it all in, and have done the couple of times I have moved and not taken the pony with me.
 

LaurenBay

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I gave up a year or so ago when I retired my mare. I only saw her once a week as she was on grass livery and being looked after by the field owner. I threw myself into the gym and actually got into the best shape of my life! I re opened my savings account and I was amazed and how much left over money I had left over every month. I got a new car, went on 2 holidays, bought loads of clothes, went out with friends and even had time to meet a guy! I ended up taking over the field and seeing her more did make me miss Horses more. I just knew I didn't want to go back to just about keeping my head above water financially, but I did miss the stables, I missed tucking Horses up into bed, the hours spent nattering about Horses at the yard and of course the riding. I have now managed to find a lovely share Horse which still means I get to ride twice a week and have my stables fix, but I can carry on saving money and am now booking another holiday! I felt in a way that I got my freedom back.

Maybe in the future I will get another, but the time is not right just now and there are other things I want to focus on. I couldn't completely give up though, I might feel different when I lose my retired Horse.
 

Sussexbythesea

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I’ve not had horses through various life circumstances, uni, career priorities, losing Horse and poorly mum but after awhile I’ve always hankered for it again. Sharing or riding at a riding school fills a gap but just doesn’t cut it long term.

I’m looking for another at the moment. It’s in addition to my oldie I’m scared about the extra work but I’m driven by something I can’t explain - maybe mid-life crisis? :D
 

Rosiejazzandpia

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I gave up aged 17 to 20 and enjoyed being free from horses. I'd been loaning and riding other people's and the spark just went out for me. Then I moved back home and there was a field nearby to keep a youngster in cheaply.

Now I'm at a yard two minutes from my house and I've managed to keep an interest by not stressing so much. I have a youngster, she's spent 10 months turned away eating. She's a pleasure to be around which really helps, and I realized she doesn't care what she's doing as long as she's got friends and food.
I simplified things, cheap yard, don't over feed or overpay for things. Yard owner fed in the mornings through winter and I just fed in the afternoon.

Anyone is entitled to be on this forum, and the OP raises a very valid point, perhaps I enjoy my horse now because I'm at a good yard with excellent safe off road hacking. Perhaps if I had to drive to a yard that had limited turnout and poor hacking that was all lanes then I would probably give up.
 

maisie06

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I lost my horse two weeks ago and she was my childhood dream come true. To be honest, I'm not sure I'll go back, it's lost its sheen for me despite being utterly horse mad all my life. The lows and the long winters, the expense and the heartbreak have been a lot to bear and I don't think I could go through it again. I started running a little while back to give me another focus away from horses and it's shown me that there are other things out there and it's a better way to meet different types of people, whereas the horsey world seems quite homogeneous. I've already made friends more easily doing that than I ever did with horses. I miss my mare horribly and at the moment I feel lost at the weekends, but there is also a sense of freedom, both in terms of time and finances. I now get enjoyment and fulfillment trying to beat parkrun times and entering races that I no hope in!

I totally get this - Whe I lost my beautiful section D I lost my passion for horses...we used to show, dressage, hack, jump everything, then I lost my old retired mare not long after. I was offered another horse but upon riding her I knew I couldn't do it anymore, for a start I have lost all confidence riding, it now utterly terrifies me!! Not fair on me or the horse!!

The along came the dog, we are doing well gundog training and I'm loving it, I will never field trial, I have no interest in competition, but as another poster said, I do get great enjoyment from "schooling" him up - and the socail side is great too - I have joined a gundog club and meet up and train with like minded people from all walks of life - the support and encouragment is phenomonal - unlike the horsey world I have found!!

I was tempted by a sec D filly last week , such similar breeding to my old boy, but I wrote a list of pros and cons - I had 2 pros and many more cons, so decided against it.

If I won lotto I would most likely take on a couple of elderly rescue ponies and give them a bit of comfort, but I can't see me having another horse any other way!

I like to pop on the forum from time to time and see how the horsey world is doing and I do holiday cover etc for friends to keep and hand in and horses were a huige part of my life - many people think I am heartless but I do still miss that welshie and the old mare and they just aren't replaceable!!
 

maisie06

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Used to love seeing your Welshie Masie. x

He was a beautiful boy, went too soon....the filly I saw was the spit of him, same linage...but it didn't feel right and for once I am going to follow my gut feeling and have a break....wouldn't be fair on her to be disappointed in her for not being him if that makes sense!!
 

Rosiejazzandpia

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I totally get this - Whe I lost my beautiful section D I lost my passion for horses...we used to show, dressage, hack, jump everything, then I lost my old retired mare not long after. I was offered another horse but upon riding her I knew I couldn't do it anymore, for a start I have lost all confidence riding, it now utterly terrifies me!! Not fair on me or the horse!!

The along came the dog, we are doing well gundog training and I'm loving it, I will never field trial, I have no interest in competition, but as another poster said, I do get great enjoyment from "schooling" him up - and the socail side is great too - I have joined a gundog club and meet up and train with like minded people from all walks of life - the support and encouragment is phenomonal - unlike the horsey world I have found!!

I was tempted by a sec D filly last week , such similar breeding to my old boy, but I wrote a list of pros and cons - I had 2 pros and many more cons, so decided against it.

If I won lotto I would most likely take on a couple of elderly rescue ponies and give them a bit of comfort, but I can't see me having another horse any other way!

I like to pop on the forum from time to time and see how the horsey world is doing and I do holiday cover etc for friends to keep and hand in and horses were a huige part of my life - many people think I am heartless but I do still miss that welshie and the old mare and they just aren't replaceable!!

Do keep popping in and updating us about your lovely sounding dog :)
 

Cinnamontoast

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I’ve been living the dilemma since even before the accident. I’ve sat on my horse once since then and debated what to do ever since. I’ve totally lost my bottle, although I might be ok in an indoor school. Luckily, I have an amazing sharer who does all the hard work. Now the boy has arthritis, I couldn’t give him away anyway!

I do find it a huge tie and feel relieved when I don’t have to go up, but when I’m there, I realise how much I love him. It’s my only social time, really. If I had to pts, I don’t think I would get another, there’d be no point. Saying that, if the retirement plans come to fruition, I would definitely look to have a couple of ponies to look after.
 

Evie91

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I didn’t have one for four months when my old girl was PTS, hated it! Shared for a year but missed having my own. Bought one, not the horse for me so needs to be sold but even though I’ve decided she’s not for me I have also decided I definitely want another. Already keeping my eye out but as I can only afford one on livery I need to rehome current horse first!
Yes they are a tie and a drain on finances BUT you only live once, I work really long hours and want to spend my time and money on something I enjoy. Who knows what the future holds but I’d prefer to ride whilst I’m physically capable!
 

LeneHorse

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From the posts in this thread it is clear that people give up horses for all sorts of reasons not always voluntary but most still have a deep underlying love of horses. I sincerely hope you all stay on the forum and continue to share your knowledge and experience and get a wee bit of a horsey 'fix' from coming on here.

I can see myself in the not to distant future being faced with the prospect of giving up (my horse is 20 and has cushings and I'm approaching retirement and don't think I could justify getting a new horse when I'm on a pension). The thought fills me with dread, it is such a big part of my lifestyle.
 

HashRouge

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I do find it a huge tie
I think this is the issue for me. I have two retired neds at the moment - my mare, Lou, who I have owned for 17 years, and my sister's gelding, who I look after (but don't pay for, fortunately!). I have them on grass livery so I don't have to go up if I'm busy and I can still go away and travel during the school holidays. I'm at the stage where I could afford to buy and keep a riding horse and I would dearly love to, but I'm anxious about whether or not I'm ready to give up the travelling bug. I will be 30 in two years time and I have a vague plan that I will keep teaching until then, and then I will take a year out and go travelling - I would like to do a French course, spend several months traveling in the Latin American countries I haven't yet visited (Argentina, Chile and Brazil - I've got the big ones left!) and then do my dive master in Honduras, which will take 6-8 weeks. I think if I do that, and being 30 by then, I will feel ready to settle into teaching properly and will definitely buy another horse. I'd like to buy one in the next year really, but it seems silly to do that then go away for a year! They are just such a huge commitment. The two retired ones aren't such an issue because my sister, who was working abroad for a while, is back in the UK and would almost certainly take them so long as she had plenty of notice to find a yard.
 

Flyermc

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the horse i wanted for for ever and finally got when i was 16 was PTS on 17.5 years later on the 30th october 2017 (worst day of my life)

my horse is dead, i dont see myself getting another, far too painful :(
 

Cheshire Chestnut

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This is my second break from horses. First one was a 7 year break while I was at uni. Sold my horse of a lifetime and then after I grauated/got a job/got married/bought a house, I bought myself a horse again.

After 4 lovely years, I sadly lost my precious boy in 2016 and held off getting another as we planned to have a baby. Had Mini CC in March this year and don't see a return to horses anytime soon. Think my plan will be to have another baby, enjoy them and when they're old enough to drive themselves about we will move further out where the house prices are more reasonable. Then I would hopefully have my own place to keep a horse or two!

So yes, I would go back but I think it will maybe be 20 years away. Sounds a long time when said like that!

Oh I do miss it though and there's nothing like a cool summer's evening that makes me wish I was having a gallop through a field!

ETA: although I've had horses since I was 6 (parents owned a livery yard), i am happy to leave the horse world for periods of time and return to it. I still go out on my friend's horse for a hack every now and then so I don't forget how to ride :D I find the horse world tiring and too judgemental at times, so it's refreshing to walk away from it sometimes.

Think once horses are in your blood, they stay there!
 
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Quigleyandme

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My two elderly horses were pts in April 2017. They were devoted to each other and it was right that they went on their final journey together as well. I enjoyed my winter off but bought another horse in February this year and was wildly excited. I had a few wobbles about winter darkness and mud and the expense but no regrets at all. I don't want to compete anymore - just hunt and have fun. I retire in 2023 and work at home now so it is easier than before when I had to commute and be in the office every day. I also have my own yard so no nasty liveries to put up with. I missed those squishy kisses on the soft place at the side of their mouths and breathing in that smell and turning the lights off when I have got them in on a winter night and taking a moment to listen to them munching happily. Definitely an addict but a happy one.
 

Seton

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I don’t see them as a commitment as I also have a dog so for us to go on holiday I’m already finding somewhere for the dog so they sort of go hand in hand but I understand it for those who only have a horse.....but I’m 51 so don’t have any travelling needs or a bucket list to get through. Im a happy hacker and just enjoy the caring and grooming side of things . I used to compete and spend a fortune on tack, rugs etc, having at least 5 of everything but things are different now....probably an age thing :). I’m fortunate enough too that I work part time from home so I have the flexibility to go when I want
 
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cbmcts

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I retired the last of my ridden horses about 8 years ago and moved him and another to retirement livery in the next county so they could live out. So I gave up daily contact then and really, really missed it after 25+ years of having horses on DIY. However, having 2 in retirement livery meant I couldn't afford a third...After a few years I started riding at a riding school weekly and also had some time off work so hacked out a friends during the week and adored riding again - I mean, I'll never be a brave rider again but was very happy pottering around :) Then I got a job that's a minimum of 60 hours a week so riding stopped.

I lost the last of these two at Easter and am in a position that I could just about afford another taking into account part livery etc but tbh I don't think I will. Turnout is non existent round here October to March, livery is very hit and miss ( lots of horses, very little land due to building in the last 10 years or so and the roads are much busier as a result) as I don't feel that I can give a horse enough attention with my other commitments.

When the others went to RL I was bereft - it felt like I'd lost a huge chunk of my social life as well as my hobby. So many of the people I saw everyday were on the yard/ involved in horses and while I'm still friends with a lot of them it was different not going to the yard twice a day.

I didn't and still don't miss the idiot/crazy people that populate the horse world though :) We're planning on moving away from the crowded South East in the next few years if the stars align and one of the things that I'd insisted on is a few acres to keep a couple of horses at home so I will go back but on my terms only!
 
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