For those who lack in confidence...

[wills_91]

Today I sat on my horse for the first time in over a year. My knees were trembling, my hands were trembling, sweat was dripping off me & I really thought I was going to vomit but I pushed on, tacked up and got on. Rode 1 half lap of the school & then I had to get off. I was nervous she was a little hesitant due to this but we done it and she did everything I asked. It is will be nothing to most but it is the first tiny step for me and a huge achievement in my eyes, hopefully the start of a new chapter, I have no idea how or when my confidence got so bad but it is and now is the time to tackle it head on. I intend on doing the same again tomorrow but with less trembling. I just want to remind anyone else struggling with confidence atm that even the tiny steps are a milestone to be celebrated.

 

[Cowpony]

Well done! That's great! Good luck for the rest of your journey. Confidence is such a fragile thing - I posted on here yesterday after having 2 falls in one lesson! But nothing as bad as you describe. You're so brave!

Sorry, far too many exclamation marks in all of that....but it sounds a bit unenthusiastic with just a full stop.

 

[wills_91]

Thanks CP! It is indeed fragile and I don't think you really appreciate it until you loose it, I haven't even had one specific thing that's caused it to go, I think it's more linked to life events in general. I hope your not to sore today!

 

[Regandal]

Well done! Good for you!

 

[sarahann1]

Whoop! Well done OP, keep going, wee steps like that will soon add up

I've suffered from a pretty bad lack of confidence over the years, I had a lesson yesterday and my mare decided to throw a buck when I tapped her up, after she ignored my leg, into canter, I didn't care, I rode her forwards and told her to bloody well get on with it. A few years ago that would have had me wanting to get off, I'd probably be crying and I'd never want get back on again.

I still get the odd occasion where my confidence departs me, like the first time I took her XC training, close to crying with feeling so overwhelmed with it all at the start, by the end of it I offered a posh matchy, matchy lass on a very nice event type horse a lead over the drop (her horse was NOT playing the game) I was on my wee fluffy hairy coblet, the rider declined, I was kinda gutted, I wanted to do the drop again!

If I can find brave pants, anyone can!

 

[Sukistokes2]

Well done you!!!

 

[Dustygirl]

Well done you that's brilliant - tiny steps.
My confidence left me during the winter, my mare had some time off due to a back issue.
I felt sick whenever I thought of doing anything with her.
I got help lunging her and gradually took over myself, I got someone in to ride her.
My first time back on board I didn't even move!!!
2 months later and I hacked her at the weekend, the fear has almost gone.
You will get there. The circle of confidence is an odd thing.
Good luck. 😊

 

[meesha]

Well done, someone recently reminded me that being brave isn't doing it because your not scared but being scared and doing it anyway !!

 

[madmav]

Great that you did it. Well done. Was something on radio 4 today at about 11.30 re getting confidence back. Only half heard it. Maybe worth a listen,

 

[Equi]

AWESOME! You did fab. Every little step helps you and soon you will look back and know you have come a long way.

One tip i have for you is to NEVER think "this is stupid just do it" cause its not stupid at all. I say it time and time on the yard, do it cause you want to, not because you feel you have to.

On the being scared and doing it anyway, that was the first lesson my behaviourist gave me. STOP IT immediately she said. If you are afraid it is for a reason - lets face it, horses can kill you. Yup. Kill you dead. What you have to work towards, is believing in your own ability and your horse to NOT kill you. Arming yourself with all the ability and not going out of your depth until you know you are ready to do it. And it takes SO much time.

I'm just over a year into my "im never riding again i can't face it" journey, and yesterday i jumped a cross pole. Ive been riding for 25 years and jumped the height of myself in the past, but a 30cm cross pole is the biggest achievement in my life right now

 

[Dave's Mam]

Brilliant. That is all.

 

[kinnygirl1]

Well done! Keep going!

 

[vmac66]

Well done. Baby steps are definitely the way forward. I lost my confidence a few months ago after being bucked off twice in a short space of time. Have been having lessons and cantered for the first time in ages yesterday. A month ago it was all I could do to just sit on him. Don't beat yourself up or put too much pressure on yourself, after all its meant to be fun xx

 

[View]

To all those dealing with confidence issues, I salute you.

Baby steps, achievable steps - don't push for too much at a time. Every time you get that "yes, I've done it" feeling you have achieved a big step.

Onwards, tiny steps each time.

 

[tatty_v]

Fantastic, well done you. x

 

[Django Pony]

Well done!
My YO says that confidence is like a cup of water. You have to build it up drop by drop. It takes lots of little drops to fill up your confidence cup! You have added your first drop!
Unfortunately, it also means that one spill can knock out quite a lot of confidence in one go, but just keep focussing on filling it back up one drop at a time

 

[debsflo]

Well done ....baby steps x

 

[Flibble]

OP I am singing and clapping for you. My horse has had a few confidence issues and in October he was spooked by tractors rearranging the hedges and long story short 6 months in a TSF for my left leg and a spinal brace because I burst L3.
He isn't evil it was wrong place wrong time for us both.
When I was back mobile I was even frightened leading him in and out of the paddock.
I don't think I will be riding him again but we are still friends and I am teaching him to have fun from the ground and plotting what where and how I will find out if I have lost it completely. I don't remember the fall luckily.

 

[wills_91]

Thanks all, feeling pretty chuffed still!

Flibble that sounds horrible, you must both have got such a fright. Wish you well on your quest for confidence x

 

[sandy3924]

Huge well done OP. Having limited confidence that can drain away for no apparent reason, I understand how difficult a journey it is. I find that the more I get on and ride, even if its 2 minutes, then my confidence dribbles back. I love the 'cup of water' description. Sums it up perfectly. Good luck!

 

[rosiesowner]

Confidence is like a bank account. Keep taking care of the pennies (small achievements) and the pounds will take care of themselves (you'll make amazing progress without even realising).

Wow, I hope that translated better from my head than I think it did, but seriously well done and be VERY proud of yourself!!!!!

 

[LHIS]

Confidence is like a bank account. Keep taking care of the pennies (small achievements) and the pounds will take care of themselves (you'll make amazing progress without even realising).

I couldn't have put it better myself ^^. I battle with my confidence every single day, I have good days and bad days, but by doing as the above poster suggests you can make positive steps in the right direction. Well done OP xx

 

[rachk89]

Well done to you. I know exactly how you feel as I went and am still going through that. I no longer shake or cry getting on or riding the horse (usually) but I was at that stage at one point. You will get past this I promise. I never thought that I would do jumping with my horse without being scared but I did that on saturday. It was a mini course of 2 jumps and a pole on the ground. I still maintain one of them was an upright even though it was only about 10 inches off the ground.

 

[Tobiano]

WELL DONE WILLS! Hope this is a first step in a wonderful journey for you

 

[Merrymoles]

Fantastic! Well done!

Confidence is a fragile thing so be kind to yourself. If you feel it begin to wobble, you can always just sit on her for a minute and think "well this is still more than I've done over the last year". As others have said, baby steps are great and you don't need to push yourself. You were out of your comfort zone even getting on her so you've achieved something tremendous

 

[dornrose]

Having been in exactly the same position as you even down to the shaking/sick/unable to breathe - and doing just a few steps the first time I got on, I just built on that so each time I got on I thought of doing one more step, one more circle until one day I realised I'd been up there for at least half an hour.