For those with kids

Z

zip

Well-Known Member
Joined
20 November 2007
Messages
93
Location
leicestershire
Visit site
Hi i have been riding since i was eight and even though i have taken a few tumbles ive put it all down to experience and climbed back on again. However, i recently had a very bad fall and the result was that i was in bed for two weeks as i could hardly move. This put considerable strain on my husband as he had to take time off and also try and work from home. He has said that im selfish if i get back on another horse as im endangering my life and i should think of my two year old twins.

He never thought riding was a dangerous sport until he went to hospital and saw me being wheeled into xray with possible serious damage to my spine. He really does not want me to ride again until twins are older. Whats your take on this? Shpuld i wait until they are older ? or should i start riding a "safer " horse....?

Im missing horses so much and its only been three months....

Nina x
frown.gif
 
Life is dangerous!!! Is he expecting you to walk round in a bubble too. You can minimize the risks, wear a hat and BP, and stick to more established/reliable mounts (a fair compromise IMO).
 
As we have the same name thought I had better add a comment!!

Would he rather you where a grumpy so and so cause you are not riding, my other half tells me to go ride as he hates it when I have not ridden for a couple of days - I get very grumpy!!

I have a 12yr old and I do worry but I try not to take risks and I could god forbid be run over in the supermarket carpark!!!

Nina
x
 
You can't stop living life, as above life is dangerous. However, when you have kids (and I do) you have to weigh up the risks that you take. If it were me, I wouldn't stop riding, but I'd probably opt for a safer mount and play it a bit safer. But I am a single parent so without my wages or job I'd be stuffed. Unfortunately, life generally ends up being about compromise and your OH must have had the fright of his life.
 
l have 2 children, l event up to advanced level,l even evented until l was 5 months pregnant, life is too short,l couldnt live if l didnt event! But it does show he loves you very much
smirk.gif
My OH knows he could never tell me to stop riding as l would not listen to him,l think you should ride again
wink.gif
 
With respect, I think it is more likely he saw what he would be faced with on a daily basis if you did put yourself out of action permanently. Part of me is chuckling here just thinking about him trying to work from home with twin toddlers rampaging about and an invalid wife confined to bed. He must have found that pretty hard work on the basis most men are not known for their multitasking skills! Welcome to the "real" world, Mr Zip!!!

Perhaps you could compromise and stick to quiet horses for the time being? And then I guess in the not too distant future the twins will start riding and the world of LR showing may beckon? I hope you manage to reach some agreement on this which includes riding for you as that is what you want.

And no, I don't think you're being selfish by the way, even if he would rather you took up charity work or knitting lol
 
ive got a four year old and seven year old and rode while pregnant with both yes sometimes i think of the dangers but then again you can easily hurt yourself doing other things as i recently found out as i fell at work and ended up in plaster for 6 weeks
 
I suppose from his point of view it's something you do for pleasure and having being badly hurt he prehaps thought you would want to give it up being as it caused so much dissruption at home and work , cant see why you would wait till the twins get older though and obiously it was an accident and you might never fall off again ! , life is precious but it's also for living so I would say carry on riding , my two daughters ride and yes I do worry , but they get so much fun out of their pony I would never stop them
smile.gif
 
I have an 8 year old and am divorced, partly the reason being was he was insanely jealous of my hobby, hated horses, and still does despite his daughter riding and having two minis that she shows!! Thats why he is my ex!

You are not being selfish whatsoever, you could get run over by a bus 2mor! Be sensible in what you ride maybe, stick to something you know yes, but dont give up horses!!
 
I agree that you should keep riding! I don't have children, but I can empathise. I think so long as you try to make things as safe as possible, by not riding dodgy horses
wink.gif
and wearing suitable protection you should be fine.

Horseriding is a risky pastime, but so is shopping in town IMO!!! Life is for living - not for thinking about it
smile.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]
I agree that you should keep riding! I don't have children, but I can empathise. I think so long as you try to make things as safe as possible, by not riding dodgy horses
wink.gif
and wearing suitable protection you should be fine.

Horseriding is a risky pastime, but so is shopping in town IMO!!! Life is for living - not for thinking about it
smile.gif


[/ QUOTE ]
Agree with that!!
grin.gif
!!I have a five yr old son,admittedly i havnt got the guts i used to have but age,son,mortgage etc has taught me to be careful(might only be 32 but i dont bounce like i used to,lol),i no longer get on anything i stick to my boy who is safe as houses!!!Compromise,get yourself something that is safe and you can have fun on without the whole family worrying about you!!!Hope you ok by the way???Lets face it you could trip over dodgy pavement and break ya neck!!Just make sure you are insured,lol!!!
smile.gif
 
Yep, keep riding, but stick to safer horses. You do have to think of hubby and children.

I expect he was really really scared. What would you think if he did something really dangerous (can't think of anything more dangerous than riding really!).

I stopped riding for 10 years (big mistake, well I did ride a bit but didn't have my own horse) and when I bought a horse it was on the understanding I didn't hunt as my husband had been very fond of a girl who got terrible head injuries out hunting (never recovered) and he was alarmed at the possibility of "being left to look after 3 children." I did point out that it was probably more dangerous to ride along the lane than to hunt, but that was the agreement.

I do think sometimes I would like to get something to go hunting, now that the children are more or less grown up ......

His opposition also stopped me pushing the children much, because I thought that if they fell off and got hurt he would never forgive me. But it is all down to own circumstances in the end.
 
Nina...it was a bit scary when you fell, and I'd imagine your husband is/was just genuinely worried about you and scared, so maybe that's why he feels the way he does? As you say, it must ahve been pretty scary for him seeing you arrive in A&E. But accidents like that don't happen everyday.

I really don't think you should give up. I don't have kids, but riding is obviously something you love and as others have said, life is for living. In a way I think horses become a part of our identities, and it would be such a shame for you to lose part of yours.

I know I've said this before, but I mean it...you are more than welcome to come and ride Murphy sometime if you want to get back on something safe and steady, he would look after you. No pressure though - if and when you want to (or even if you just want to come down for some cuddles with him) you know where I am.
 
Thanks everyone, i do agree with you life is way too short and yes i think he saw his future flash before him trying to bring up two kids on his own with me in a wheel chair. He lost his parents when he was little in a car crash so hes trying to wrap me in cotton wool !!! Becky thanks i will pop down to see you if thats ok...

Right now i have to find a sane sensible horse, in leicester that i can mostly help with mucking out etc and just a little riding....anyone know of one?

Nina xxxx
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top