formalising an informal share arrangement??

[lexibell]

Hi All

Just wanting some advice as to how to handle a situation.

I find talking about money difficult if Im honest, not sure why, just feels a bit like bad taste, so have been putting off a conversation with a friend, but I really need to address the issue now.

Since around last September/October a friend started coming to the field with me and riding one of my horses on a saturday morning. I thought this would be once in a blue moon type thing, but she started to come more and more often. At the time, going into winter with 2 horses to keep in work and a youngeter in need of handling and socialisation, I was happy to have her around, she would always offer to muck out stables etc after riding.

Weve been friends for quite a few years, but have now become quite close friends mainly due to the amount of time we spend together at weekends and I really value her friendship.

Trouble is, shes now coming twice a week, almost every week and commented the other day how she couldnt wait until the clocks changed so she could ride in the evening!

She has bought a few odd bits and bobs for the horse, headcollar, new brushes and numnah, but has never offer any financial contribution or significant time contribution.

She occassionally poo picks.

I feel a bit like Im keeping this horse for her to ride!!

I would like to ask her for a contirbution towards his keep, as the cost of hay insurance etc continues to rise, and my salary doesnt!! I have hinted a few times but she hasnt picked up on this, Im not sure how to go about ringing it up in a more forthright way without damaging our friendship.

I know I need to bring this up with her soon, as its grating on me a little.

also, for unlimited riding and minimal yard duties of a 14.2 9 year old dales pony, who is a dream to handle, no vices, bombproof in traffic and pops a couple of foot nicely, what would be reasonable to ask for moeny wise.

Sorry this is long, but just wanted to give the background as thought it might help. Ovaltine and Chocolate bourbons all round

 

[PandorasJar]

How about mentioning that will be looking for a full/part time loaner for the horse as you aren't getting the riding in on it and can't afford a field ornament... you want to give her first refusal as you are grateful for the work she's been doing with her? That way your appreciating her but getting to the point on it.

Money wise... whatever the cost of upkeep is if she decides to full loan her off you, or come to some agreement ie. You cover Vet, she pays for shoes, share food/hay and livery if she is riding regularly?

In regards to insurance, really you should insure the horse and she should insure herself. Or she should write an agreement with you that it is down to her to insure herself?

Really it depends on what you are actually paying for and what responsibilities you want if her or the horse are injured.

I understand it being an awkward thing to bring up, but don't ask her outright for money, give her the options with an explanation of what the realistic costs of keeping a horse are and what price rises there have been

Pan

 

[ghostie]

I find these conversations hard too. I would probably say that you are struggling to meet your costs (even if not strictly true) so you are going to need to look for a sharer who can contribute financially to allow you to keep the pony. Hopefully she will then offer to be that sharwr, and problem solved

 

[lexibell]

Yes you are both right.

I tried the 'im going to have to look for a sharer/part loaner in the new year' conversation with her at christmas, shes is more than happy to take him on but would want to move him to her parents paddock at her home, and whilst I trust her implicitly to look after him, hes my angel and I dont really want him to go... my field is about 20 minutes from her house.

I dont necessarily want her to take on his full care as I enjoy having him around, but, for example, i've already spent 900 on hay this winter, without adding hard feed, blacksmith insurance etc to that figure. I cant justify the costs for a horse I dont ride!

 

[PandorasJar]

I tried the 'im going to have to look for a sharer/part loaner in the new year' conversation with her at christmas, shes is more than happy to take him on but would want to move him to her parents paddock at her home, and whilst I trust her implicitly to look after him, hes my angel and I dont really want him to go... my field is about 20 minutes from her house.

It's your horse not hers

Say you're looking for a sharer at the yard as you don't want to upset the dynamics of your herd. You are not considering moving him, she's fine to come up and ride him regularly without paying without moving him, so that's not a problem. She doesn't get to set the rules, YOU are doing her a favour, not the other way round!

Say your want a paying sharer. Feeds, hay and shoes should be split to the percentage of your choice. Rather than changing amounts dependant on winter feeding etc, just come up with a reasonable figure per month. If she isn't interested say that you will be looking for a paying sharer and that she will have to accept that when one is found unfortunately she won't be able to ride the horse as she is now.

I was paying a nominal £60 when I was sharing, this was well below what I would expect to pay and only as it was a good friends... because of this I did most morning turnouts, evenings when I could, mucking out as often as possible and always when I rode, checks etc and offered an amount towards hay over winter.

Tell her the detailed costs of keeping your horse which she may not know about and say that you are expecting X amount a month if she would like to continue the arrangement. If she is a good friend then she won't take the piss

Pan

 

[lexibell]

Thank you.

I will be seeing her at the weekend so going to be brave and get it over and done with, and as you say, shes a friend and assuming that friendship is based on her liking for me and not the opportunity to ride my horse, it really shouldnt be THAT difficult

:S