Former owner trying to trace pony I had PTS - Wwyd?

[WelshD]

Since your experience with this horse was a positive one I would reply personally
I would however skate over the reasons he was PTS just so you don't have to explain yourself, I think I would say something like 'very sadly I lost him some years ago'

 

[stormox]

Be totally honest. It would be unfair and cruel not to be. It will at least give her closure.

 

[hayinamanger]

I unwittingly sold a horse to a dealer 6 years ago. 2 weeks later she was advertised in H&H for twice the money, the dealer refused to take my calls.

I spent 2.5 years trying to find out where she was, just to know she was in a good home.

One day her new owner contacted me out of the blue, they were lovely, had bought her from the dealer and they loved her. They gave me their address and phone numbers but l never contacted them as l had found out that she was safe.

So, yes, let the old owner know what happened to the horse, it's the right thing to do.

 

[Tyssandi]

Echo them above, you must tell her the truth, it is unfair to let her believe there is hope she can get him back. It will be hard to here but not as hard as finding out later that you lied to her. Tell her all the good times you had and he was spoilt rotten and you have many fond memories of him and photos, and you could send her some if she wants.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

I kept in occasional contact with someone I bought a horse from, it was a sad sale but she recognised that the horse was too much for and bought a more suitable gelding. Unfortunately, after about 4 yrs I had to pts after a short, severe illness. I let the old owner know exactly what had happened she responded appropriately and, even though she has a relative who lives locally to me, there has been no further contact. Most people do behave reasonably. I certainly can't understand those who suggest not telling this person what happened.

 

[Tyssandi]

To add

I also keep in contact with the guy I brought my old mare from every year a Christmas card, and a few years ago I had to tell him she was pts due to illness. I still keep in touch with him about what her colt is up too.



Please tell this girl, it will be closure that he is no longer in pain and was treated with love right to the end.

 

[sunnyone]

Echo the others who say a short note allowing closure.
Like hayinamanger I unwittingly sold to a dealer who then upped the horse's price dramatically.I worried for years because I knew it was way too much (all palomino looks, no brain and thin skinned). Eventually I saw her advertised from a sales livery (no photo just a description) so went to see her. The yard and I exchanged histories on her. I knew that they would sell her on again of course but it would be at a sensible price and to somebody knowledgeable. I never worried about her again.

 

[Exploding Chestnuts]

It was not the girl who sold the pony, it was the parents, as explained by OP.

 

[LeannePip]

Agree with those above.

Just send her a nice message explain how much he was loved but unfortunately you lost him a few years ago. go into as much detail as you feel comfortable with, if the boot were on the other foot, wouldn't you like to know?

 

[debsflo]

I too would let her know. I find it difficult to understand why you wouldn't. It's just a question of being kind and honest.

 

[SpringArising]

Short of the previous owner demanding that latest owner buy a ouija board to attempt to communicate with the spirit of the dead horse, I can't think of any possible reason NOT to tell her.

You really should - put her out of her misery. Closure is so much better than not knowing.

 

[Mongoose11]

Reading this thread again and I'm genuinely horrified that anyone would suggest this information shouldn't be shared. Poor woman, she'd wonder what happened forever. Madness not to tell her!

 

[FfionWinnie]

Reading this thread again and I'm genuinely horrified that anyone would suggest this information shouldn't be shared. Poor woman, she'd wonder what happened forever. Madness not to tell her!

Agreed and op think if it were the other way round, wouldn't you want to know?

 

[rachk89]

Definitely tell her. I would love to find out what happened to a horse I loved when I was a young kid at a riding school. The riding school closed and she got put on loan to someone else even though I tried to get her. I imagine she would have sadly died by now or be extremely old, but it would be nice to know if she had a good life and was happy after being in the riding school.

 

[JoannaC]

Yes tell her, I tried to trace my last childhood pony when I got back into horses as an adult but unfortunately never found out what happened to him. I would have offered him a retirement home if it had been appropriate but certainly wouldn't have stalked new owner if he was in a happy home and would just have liked to find out where he went and what he'd done even if it meant hearing he was no longer with us which was quite likely as he'd have been in his twenties by then.

 

[marmalade88]

Short of the previous owner demanding that latest owner buy a ouija board to attempt to communicate with the spirit of the dead horse, I can't think of any possible reason NOT to tell her.

*snigger*

I agree, just be to the point and honest. You have nothing to lose by telling the woman.

 

[melbiswas]

As someone who has tried to track their first ( and naughty) pony, every possible scenario has plagued me over the years.
I would be happy to know our pony was loved in his last years, and that would put my mind at rest.

 

[hackneylass2]

Please do tell her and include some photos for her. I would not skate over why he was PTS, as if you say sadly I lost him a couple of years ago, it is an open statement which begs the question why from former owner. Tell the truth. You loved him so previous owner will have her mind put to rest. How sad that her parents sold a horse she also loved. If you dont want further contact, just say that talking about him upsets you as you still miss him so much. Good luck, you will be doing the right thing by letting this girl know.

 

[Equi]

Considering the OP has a lot of detail...its safe to say they may find out about this thread


Just tell them.

 

[Nudibranch]

I told a previous owner fairly recently that I was going to have the old girl pts. They were lovely about it and grateful she'd had a happy home for her last years. Can't see any reason not to tell them.

 

[Maesfen]

I replied earlier and am amazed this is still going on because it was such a basic question about manners and respect for others feelings; I couldn't even see the reason to post it at all, I'd be ashamed I even had to ask the question, it doesn't say much about me as a person.
If the boot had been on the other foot they'd have been complaining that someone didn't tell them about their own old pony.

 

[Damnation]

Reading this thread again and I'm genuinely horrified that anyone would suggest this information shouldn't be shared. Poor woman, she'd wonder what happened forever. Madness not to tell her!

This.

I'd want to know either way. If PTS just explain what happened, give the woman closure knowing the pony was loved and happy.

 

[Chirmapops]

I'd be ashamed I even had to ask the question, it doesn't say much about me as a person.
If the boot had been on the other foot they'd have been complaining that someone didn't tell them about their own old pony.

I'd be ashamed to post something this mean about someone who is clearly looking for help to weigh up pros and cons of what will undoubtedly be a difficult message to write. OP clearly loved the horse and is looking for help as to how best to break the news - we've all heard horror stories of people being a bit crazy and posting things on FB etc accusing others of doing terrible things to their horses when it's not been true. 1 in a thousand chance that it would actually happen, but there's nothing at all wrong with looking for a bit of reassurance.

OP - as others have said, let her know. They way you've written about the horse here is clearly loving and I'm sure that will come across and help give closure.

 

[Annagain]

I'd let her know. I always knew where my first pony (a loan pony so I had no say what happened to him afterwards) ended up - a local riding school - and kept an eye on him from a distance. He was perfectly suited there teaching all the littl'uns their up-downs.

When he was about 26 the riding school was facing closure. I contacted them and offered to take him if they closed. As it happened they managed to stay open but they promised to let me know when he was ready to retire. About 18 months later I saw a post on their facebook page saying they had lost him. About 10 minutes later an acquaintance who works there texted me to let me know he'd gone. He went downhill very quickly (at 28 yrs old) in the space of a few days so he never got to have his retirement with me. I was sad, but glad I was told about it (albeit maybe slightly the wrong way round) and glad he went relatively quickly and didn't really suffer.

 

[Snowfilly]

Update - So, I messaged her with a basic reply, including a few pics and some details about his time with me, including why he was put to sleep (stroke) and apologised for giving her the bad news but saying how loved he was.

I was crying over him by time I'd written it, and I was quite nervous - you never know how people are going to react. Also, judging how to break bad news to someone you've never met and know nothing about isn't exactly easy.

Anyway, received a lovely long email from the previous owner his morning, full of info and more pics of him as a young horse in his prime, which was lovely. She was very upset by the news though.

So I know a lot more about his history and she's very happy she doesn't have to worry about him anymore - her parents sold him to a dealer, so he could have ended up anywhere. She was also glad to know he still liked grabbing people's hats off them and cantering away!

 

[Leo Walker]

I'm glad it all worked out so well even if it was a bit bitter sweet for you both

 

[Red-1]

I am glad you made contact, and now have some young horse photos to add to your memories.

It must be nice to know there was someone else in this world who thought the world of your horse, and would have given time and money to protect him, if he had needed it.