Pictures Fractured vertebrae

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I had a hard fall from my new-ish horse on Christmas eve and I'm still in hospital with a fracture in my L1 vertebrae.
I'm struggling mentally as I keep having flash backs to it happening and it makes me panic and then I think I never want to ride again. But on the other hand I can't bare to lose my mare plus couldn't handle the stress of trying to sell her. One part of me wants to give up riding but as soon as I voice this to anyone they immediately start telling me not to be hasty etc.
But the thing is that I'm terrified! Terrified that it will happen again and I'll be left paralysed!
I'm in tears typing this because I just don't know what do and I have nothing.but time to think about it as I lie here in the hospital bed.
Am I being a coward by wanting to quit?
 
No, you are absolutely not being a coward! It is perfectly understandable, given what has happened. But I also think you don't need to be making a decision about anything for quite some time. Your priority should be getting better. Don't worry about riding again until you have a timeframe for when that might be possible!
 
Thank you! I'll be paying for other people to ride my horse for the immediate future at least. What I struggle with is that she's been such a lovely horse for the 7 or so weeks I've had her and this kind of explosion isn't like her. So I'm lying here thinking that may be her stud wouldhave her back and may be I should get leg in each corner cob instead!
 
I don't think either option would be silly. No one can know the future and whatever decision will be correct.

I would say that perhaps at the moment you are not in the most resourceful state to make any decisions, but if the stud would have her back that would not be a bad decision. Paying someone to ride would not be a bad decision either.

I would do whatever you think is right, even if that decision is to do nothing right now (that too would be a good decision) and concentrate on getting better. X
 
Is your fracture stable? If so when it heals should be as it was before so try not to change how you act with it, of that makes sense? My Dad has recently healed from a L2 fracture and had some confidence issues, what he has done is have lessons on a mechanical horse and then he can work on his position and balance and getting back into riding without having to worry what the horse will do. Then onto quiet horses and building up. Might be worth looking into? Unfortunately I had a worse back injury so I instead took up dressage ?
 
I'm waiting to have a standing x-ray to see if it's stable or not but so far at least there's not been any nerve complications.
Unfortunately my accident happened in the arena so now I've got a mental block about that too. But I'm getting my instructor to exercise her whilst I'm off and see what she thinks.
I know I shouldn't make anybig decisions right now, everyine says my horse is lovely and this would have been just one of those things that can happen with any horse, so I'm trying to take comfort from that.
Probably over thinking everything as I have nothing better to do!
 
Be kind to yourself, you had an accident only a few days ago, concentrate on the here and now for time being, have someone exercise her for you, until you know more about your fracture.

I hope your not too sore.
 
You have had a serious accident and you need to process the shock and trauma of that and heal physically. Both of which take time and good self care. The flashbacks are your brain trying to make sense of it all by replaying it over and over so eventually the brain files the experience away and moves on. So they are normal and natural. The best thing to do is let your brain do what it is trying to do (ie process it) and just go with it. The panic will fade over time.

Deciding what to do about your horse is not the priority right now. It sounds as though you have a plan for the short term so try to just let the bigger decisions go for now and focus on getting better. It is very early days so who knows how you will feel in a month/6 months. Often people find they feel psychologically better once they are not in pain anymore.

It is far too early to start talking about mental blocks. (Unless you were already an anxious rider with an issue about certain places/activities? Sorry I have not seen any of your other posts.) It makes perfect sense that the thought of returning to an arena and riding a horse makes you panic because the fight/flight/survival part of your brain has been triggered and regards that as a life threatening option. Over time you will regain some perspective and will feel differently.
 
I fractured lots of vertebrae and I think you are rushing ahead ..take your time...heal and then see how you feel. I’m back to two horses and although I don’t compete now (I’m in my fifties) I do everything else and enjoy it. So one day at a time my love.
 
I can totally understand how you feel. I never wanted to ride ever again and I’m still struggling As keep reliving being paralysed. I’m 10 weeks from my fall after being temporarily paralysed, have a spinal cord injury after c6 & c7, have gained most movement now but have horrendous Paresthesia nerve problems which is awful, am either in pain, discomfort or so out of it on the tablets. Awaiting mri scan to find out what exactly the problem is.

I can say after having my fair share of falls over the years I didn’t ever think I would feel like I do, I doubt I will be the same again about riding, I will definitely be getting an air jacket when/if I ride again. Time will tell. It’s very early days for you and it’s very raw, give yourself lots of time. Best wishes
 
Silly Servant said:
I had a hard fall from my new-ish horse on Christmas eve and I'm still in hospital with a fracture in my L1 vertebrae.
I'm struggling mentally as I keep having flash backs to it happening and it makes me panic and then I think I never want to ride again. But on the other hand I can't bare to lose my mare plus couldn't handle the stress of trying to sell her. One part of me wants to give up riding but as soon as I voice this to anyone they immediately start telling me not to be hasty etc.
But the thing is that I'm terrified! Terrified that it will happen again and I'll be left paralysed!
I'm in tears typing this because I just don't know what do and I have nothing.but time to think about it as I lie here in the hospital bed.
Am I being a coward by wanting to quit?
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I've been here and right now there is nothing you can do. Is it a crack or a burst fracture? Is the fracture stable? Mine was unstable but not enough for surgery. I spent 4 months in a full metal body brace, neck to hips. I couldnt have ridden a horse even if I wanted to. Rehab took up all of my thoughts. I dont remember much about HDU. I was there for 3 weeks and was off my face or in agony the whole time. It was the same for about the first month at home as well.

I weirdly never felt worried about riding, but was worried I would when I actually got on a horse again so would have been in the same state your in if I'd let myself dwell on it.

I was told never to ride again, you may be told the same depending on the severity. I choose to ignore it anyway, but I'm not sure that was a smart decision. I dont ride anymore, although ironically I'm now thinking maybe about starting again. I'm 7 years down the line though and have fallen madly in love with driving, so not riding doesnt mean the end of the world anyway.

Tell yourself that any decision about the horse is parked for 3 months, then park it. You cannot make the decision now anyway, so no point working yourself into a state about it. Find something to take your mind off it. Books, a game on your phone, a TV series, knitting, theres loads of things you can still do laid flat on your back. Your looking for something to be like chewing gum for your brain, so I wouldnt pick anything too taxing, but you do need something to occupy yourself or you will go mad!

I'm always about if you ever want to talk to anyone about it. PM me if you want my contact details, or even if you just want to talk it through.
 
Follysmum said:
am either in pain, discomfort or so out of it on the tablets. Awaiting mri scan to find out what exactly the problem is.
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Getting the pain killers right is more than half the battle. It took me 5 years, dont make the same mistake as me. And dont forget that drugs that have you off your face now wont be like that forever. I take a cocktail of drugs that would fell your average horse and I dont feel a thing, quite literally most of the time ?? The other thing that helps me enormously is sports massage therapy. Physio was ok, but the SMT is priceless. I go fortnightly and its what keeps me standing upright most of the time.
 
Leo Walker said:
Getting the pain killers right is more than half the battle. It took me 5 years, dont make the same mistake as me. And dont forget that drugs that have you off your face now wont be like that forever. I take a cocktail of drugs that would fell your average horse and I dont feel a thing, quite literally most of the time ?? The other thing that helps me enormously is sports massage therapy. Physio was ok, but the SMT is priceless. I go fortnightly and its what keeps me standing upright most of the time.
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Definitely agree it’s finding what helps
I have been prescribed maximum doses of all 3 types of tablets. I control my Pregabalin myself though to my pain, I don’t want to be taking the maximum unless I really have to I’m starting physio next week and I reiki myself. It’s finding that level of what suits you
 
So sorry to hear of your prang. Right now, you will still be in shock/recovery mode and it isn't the time to analyse your long term plans. Just concentrate on mending yourself and work out the other stuff when you are feeling better. Get well soon! x
 
I've been there too. Unstable fracture of L2&3, temporary paralysis then spinal op to cage the affected vertebrae. I did sell my horse whilst still in hospital. And I have regretted that decision every since. I can't tell you how much. Unless money is massively an issue - don't do that.

I was told I would not ride again, I was lucky to be walking etc. (Folly's C spine sounds way more scary though!) But About 6 or 8 months into recovery I found a sports physio who had been a high standard dressage rider. She said if I wanted to get back on she would get me there. And she did. I think it took about 6 months or so - I first rode just over a year post. I had flashbacks too - still do actually and I'm 16 years post now.

Long story short... I did get back on. Have cantered and jumped (but not competed or hunted). I still wear a brace and to be honest its too painful to ride to be worth it for me. I tried side saddle (works for some but not for me) and learned to drive. But we bought DD's first pony with the money from the sale of my lad and never looked back. We've had a wonderful journey through pony club, BS Juniors, a bit of BE etc. I get my horse fix from the ground with DD's horses and our retired love (who is also the pony I first sat on after the fall..) I always said I would break the now retired cob to drive when DD went to Uni. It didn't happen and it wouldn't be fair now but I wouldn't hesitate to have a driving pony in the future. or a mini. There is life with horses and without riding. (And I have a built in excuse not to muck out or poo pick! DH stepped up wonderfully!)

You are really early stages. Its horrible and my heart goes out to you. Try not to worry about what you might want later. Focus on healing now, getting the right medical support etc. And don't be afraid to cry. Its change. A change you didn't want and that is scary. Tears are OK. And pain meds don't help with emotional control!
 
You poor thing. I’ve also been there too and it’s very traumatic. Mine was a while ago now and I still have the ‘what if’ flash backs. Don’t rush into anything. I’m back riding now but I don’t jump anymore. Take it easy and best wishes.
 
I fell off a horse and cracked 3 thoracic vertebrae in my back. I lost feeling in my right leg. My dad refused me medical care and to this day, I'm lucky I can even walk. This happened in 2017.
 
You poor thing what a terrible thing to happen and off course it is going to affect you mentally, I know how you feel I broke my ankle in the arena I was just cantering and my horse just went down on top of me, i still get very nervous and can physically shake with fear at times, I feel a bit pathetic about my ankle now when I think of what you have done so please don't feel like your being silly, I am glad to hear your doing so well and are out of the brace. Please let us know how your getting on x
 
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