Frankie is being PTS tomorrow

Leo Walker

Leo Walker

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He relapsed on boxing day and we agreed to give him 24 hours to see if he came round, he did. But he has relapsed again twice to a lesser degree. He is now at the point where even soaked hay sets it off, so he is living on next to nothing. The pedal bone is 0.5cms away from the outside world and that is because his sole was thick from lots of roadwork barefoot prior to this. His sole depth is reducing as he is stood in not moving.

I have been dithering for weeks now because he is so bright and happy, but now hes hungry and its not fair. I have had to make an emergency plan for if/when his pedal bone comes through and had to authorise the vets to euthanise without my permission if it happens as it would then be an emergency. I dont want to be in a situation where the pedal comes through after late checks and hes not found until first checks. In fact I dont want to be in a situation where the pedal bone comes through at all.

I have held on for a miracle cure but its not coming. I am now at the point where I am keeping him going for me and not him and that is not ok. I cant believe this is actually happening. I did know at some level that sometimes horses dont recover from laminitis but I didnt really believe mine wouldnt, how could he not? Hes young, wasnt fat, was always treated as a lammi risk so he should never have gotten it, never mind die from it.

Even worse I realised all of this today while I collected my new boy. A couple of hours away from life talking to someone who has been there for him throughout all of this so knows him, alongside an article posted by a HHO member on Facebook about keeping animals going when you shouldnt was enough to make me really understand what I was doing and that it was not ok.

I'm heartbroken. I'd really like to load up the new horse and just take him back, actually if I'm being honest I'd just like him to disappear in a puff of smoke :( I bought him to distract me while Frankie recovered, I was imaging a Disney style ending where Frankie slowly got better and we all lived happily ever after. Sometimes I am really, really stupid!

Literally the second I paid for him Frankie started relapsing again and now I have to deal with this and pick up the pieces while dealing with a new horse. I think the yard is going to look after him while I decide how I feel and if I even want him. Horribly unfair on him as he is a lovely, lovely boy. Very different to Frankie and on paper a much better fit for me. He doesn't deserve to be thrown into this but he was and now I need to try and find a way through it all and out the other side. This has been one of the most horrific experiences of my life. I just hope when its over tomorrow that I can find some peace knowing hes not suffering or hungry anymore
 
My heart goes out to you, I've been where you are right now questioning if it's the right thing, but better a day too soon than a day too late. I kept telling myself that with my girl who stopped eating and stayed down most of the time . It's very hard but a relief in the end . Be strong your boy is lucky to have an owner prepared to do the right thing xx
 
Awe really sorry your going through this, it must be dreadful. Stay brave , you have looked at all the facts and done all you could. Don't worry too much about your new horse it sounds like you have a good support network he will be fine
Concentrate on saying Good bye to Frankie for now (hugs)
 
I'm so sorry about Frankie. Not gonna lie, it will be a tough journey to get through the next few days/weeks/months, but I assure you, it sounds like you are doing the right thing.
I wish you the best with the new horse, just take your time.

Shall be thinking of you tomorrow. Take care of yourself.
 
I am so sorry to hear about Frankie, but I too believe that you are doing the right thing, the final act of kindness for a much loved horse. If you can, could you view the new boy as Frankie's legacy to you? Just as we don't want our horses to be sad or sorry, I'm sure Frankie wouldn't want you to remain sad and certainly wouldn't expect you to give up horses, and the new boy needed a home, which you have given him. He isn't a replacement, but another companion for part of the journey through life.
 
Been through this myself, you try keeping them going as long as you can but like you say its not fair on the horse and there becomes a point you have to say enough is enough to the poor suffering to the horse. A brave decision, well done thinking of you x
 
I'm so sorry to hear this and will be thinking of you today. The right decisions are not always easy unfortunately but you have given this horse your everything and sometimes life is cruel and it's not enough, but Frankie has been well loved and cared for throughout, your love for him is obvious in your posts.
 
FrankieCob said:
He relapsed on boxing day and we agreed to give him 24 hours to see if he came round, he did. But he has relapsed again twice to a lesser degree. He is now at the point where even soaked hay sets it off, so he is living on next to nothing. The pedal bone is 0.5cms away from the outside world and that is because his sole was thick from lots of roadwork barefoot prior to this. His sole depth is reducing as he is stood in not moving.

I have been dithering for weeks now because he is so bright and happy, but now hes hungry and its not fair. I have had to make an emergency plan for if/when his pedal bone comes through and had to authorise the vets to euthanise without my permission if it happens as it would then be an emergency. I dont want to be in a situation where the pedal comes through after late checks and hes not found until first checks. In fact I dont want to be in a situation where the pedal bone comes through at all.

I have held on for a miracle cure but its not coming. I am now at the point where I am keeping him going for me and not him and that is not ok. I cant believe this is actually happening. I did know at some level that sometimes horses dont recover from laminitis but I didnt really believe mine wouldnt, how could he not? Hes young, wasnt fat, was always treated as a lammi risk so he should never have gotten it, never mind die from it.

Even worse I realised all of this today while I collected my new boy. A couple of hours away from life talking to someone who has been there for him throughout all of this so knows him, alongside an article posted by a HHO member on Facebook about keeping animals going when you shouldnt was enough to make me really understand what I was doing and that it was not ok.

I'm heartbroken. I'd really like to load up the new horse and just take him back, actually if I'm being honest I'd just like him to disappear in a puff of smoke :( I bought him to distract me while Frankie recovered, I was imaging a Disney style ending where Frankie slowly got better and we all lived happily ever after. Sometimes I am really, really stupid!

Literally the second I paid for him Frankie started relapsing again and now I have to deal with this and pick up the pieces while dealing with a new horse. I think the yard is going to look after him while I decide how I feel and if I even want him. Horribly unfair on him as he is a lovely, lovely boy. Very different to Frankie and on paper a much better fit for me. He doesn't deserve to be thrown into this but he was and now I need to try and find a way through it all and out the other side. This has been one of the most horrific experiences of my life. I just hope when its over tomorrow that I can find some peace knowing hes not suffering or hungry anymore
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I am so sorry for you and him and know the situation so well as I was in this position a few years ago and held on to every last hope. Sadly like you we reached a point where the fight was gone in her eyes and pain took over. She was a mare of a lifetime like he is yours, your doing the right thing now before it is too late, remember

Deaths leaves a heartache no one can heal
Loves leaves memories no one can steal.



Thinking of Frankie today and wishing him a smooth pain free walk over the bridge of the the rainbow.

Sweet dreams Frankie. XXXX
 
So sorry, no-one could have done more for him or tried harder. Today is the last good thing for him, end to suffering and pain. Hope it goes as well as it can and you have someone there for you.
 
Will be thinking of you both today. Horrible horrible decision to have to make but done with his best interests in mind. Take care x
 
I'm so sorry. Laminitis is such a cruel illness. I know it isn't much comfort but lots of us are sending you big hugs today.
 
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