"free assisted" DIY saga continues - put it in writing now !!!!!

Shysmum

Shysmum

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You could not make it up. Hubs and I get seriously verbally abused by a livery (there are only three of us), who was seriously out of control with a pitch fork. (see other thread).

I am told today it was hub's fault. I am then told that "we are all adults, and need to sort this out, get together, and arrange a winter rota " :eek: I suppose that means me doing their horses at Christmas ?

I said it in words - that I have no intention of having a relationship with someone so "weird", and that i will stay on my own. Not my problem anymore. Cue a silence.

So I wrote a note to this third livery - telling her that I am staying on my own, will not get involved in yard politics ever again, that i would testify in court what happened to us re verbal threats from this other livery, and that i will not do anyone else's horses again. Further, that i suffer mental and physical problems and cannot cope with the pressure. This a pure repeat of what I told this woman in a phone call :mad:

I never thought this would happen to me. I am just so shocked. I am a kind, compassionate lady.
 
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Why the hell should you..?!?!
I was under the distinct impression that DIY meant Do It Yourself..!!! I dont believe anybody should HAVE to be involved in a rota...that would really p*ss me off.
 
I was asked to attend a meeting where it became clear that we where going to try ride a horse by committee as I was riding the horse as a favour I said you meet and discuss whatever you like I am out of this.
Don't attend if you don't want to take part in a rota just say I am sorry I don't want to be involved with other peoples horses .
However if you go down this route on a small yard you have to follow through and whatever happens you can't ask for help.
 
Thank you so much. I have not taken a valium for a very long time, but needed one after that.

I am having absolutely nothing to do with it. My lovely hubby was blamed for the nasty argument, yet he was protecting me from a dangerously out of control woman. He is an ex copper.

WHY can horsey women be so nasty - I think it's because they cannot be bothered to do their own horse DIY. So do not have a horse.

I'm gutted - been at yard two months now.
 
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Around here, if you need a favour you ask very nicely and accept it if no one can help. We actually have a whiteboard where you can pop up notes: can someone please chuck pony's feed in tonight - it's in the bucket by his stable, anyone want to carpool to feed store next week? That sort of thing. YO sorts turnout/bring in if required as no horses are ever left out alone, you pay £1 per time.

Am pretty sure your fellow livery would have been chucked off yard long ago if they did that here! Chin up, stick to your guns :)
 
Shysmum been there have t shirt. some people are beyond belief BUT do not let tjem push you to valium. come on hun. your hubby was right sticking up for you and deserves a good cuddle and be grateful you have got a good man. Rise above it hun stay strong and firm. x
 
Why are you still at this yard?! The tension would be too much for me, horses are meant to be a hobby and I think you've done well to put up with this crazy woman's crap for 2 months. Surely there is somewhere else you can go?
 
When I am not around to do my horse for holidays etc I also wish for someone else to do it for me...only there is a £20 per day bill attached to my 'help'!!!
 
Tbh, it is a lovely yard, I love the elderly YO (told her the situation today and she told me I was completely right), i love the riding, and I'm often there on my own. It's close, cheap, and I am "basically" ok. Shy is very happy and relaxed. I just need to get this **** sorted - two months is not a long time, and I feel i need to make my position clear, and then it will settle down. Which I have, in writing today.

I may not be mentally strong, but i will not be bullied. It is a good test to me personally that I can finally stand up for myself and stay at a yard I love. The other two can go and do whatever they want together.

ps hubs is fab - i think there is jealousy there. But who could not want to be in 300 year old stables, with fab riding ? These other two need knocking down to size.
 
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Winter rota= first person to ask for a favour says "please" and "thank you". First person then returns favour at a time convenient to second person. If first person is not able/willing to return favour, said person purchases wine/chocolates for person who did favour last time before asking again, still saying "please" and "thank you". Manners to remain in place at all times.

Alternative rota= DIY. What did they think it stood for?
If you don't want to DIY then you pay for full/part livery. What is the matter with people?
 
Amy may - there are reason she can't - health (late 70's). I am very close to her, and looking after her.

At the end of the day, there are three adults involved. I came into a situation where i was obviously expected to be in a rota, and I have said no.
 
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I find it astounding that they'd behave that way toward you. Ok they have a rota, they probably have work and stuff to fit in as well as their horses, like so many of us do, it works for them, great, but why do you have to be a part of it? You don't need their help so you have nothing to gain from such an arrangement. Why is that such a problem to them?
 
One of these liveries leaves her dog at the yard, so that the YO takes her for a walk. i took the YO's dog home with me yesterday, as YO was at a meeting all day. I mentioned it (how this dog got on at my house, jokingly), and this livery said " SO MY DOG WAS ALONE ALL DAY ??????" Erm yes, you leave her here for hours a day.....

She was pissed off about that. Never met anyone like these two tbh. So that, plus my note will have gone down like a bucket of ***** from the Eiffel Tower.

Perhaps I should write a book about all my experiences on livery yards (name and shame even ?).
 
Well the yo is certainly being walked all over. And subsequently that's why these people behave as they do.

Ill or not, they need to get a grip of the situation. I've never heard anything like it..
 
AM - I agree, and am very shocked. I'm taking her to hospital tomorrow, and will discuss it with her. As the new girl, I don't want to rock the boat. There is a lot more that has gone on before, that i cannot discuss here, but I hope my arrival will not upset her applecart.

I am fragile. So is the YO. I think that's why we have become so close. x
 
amymay said:
Well the yo is certainly being walked all over. And subsequently that's why these people behave as they do.

Ill or not, they need to get a grip of the situation. I've never heard anything like it..
Click to expand...

You have had a sheltered life then.
Two liverys who have been there a while try to railroad new person into their way of doing things sound pretty standard if it was without the screaming ranting fit that Op was treated to.
Putting to much pressure on an ill old lady is likely to upset her and lead to her family saying you know mum , auntie or whatever you dont need to do this then everyones horse is homeless .
 
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