'Friends at the End'

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touchstone

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Great to see that the BHS has launched a scheme for trained volunteers to help those struggling with the decision to euthanise and support the owner, being there while the deed is done if necessary. I think that this has been needed for a while and will hopefully help many owners who struggle at the end of their horse's life. Well done BHS! http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/news/397/315564.html
 
What a fabulous idea- In fact they may be able to help me perhaps. Id love to have someone come and see my retired horse and give an honest evaluation because it really is so so tough.
 
That is a great idea. It is clear from posts on here that people would often appreciate the opinion of someone not involved with the horse when making that decision.
Not quite the same as he visited her regularly, but I was very grateful for the field officers input and support when making the decision to pts my WHW pony, he even offered to come and hold her for me if need be.
 
poiuytrewq said:
What a fabulous idea- In fact they may be able to help me perhaps.
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All trained to help out, either to talk things through with you before making a decision, or maybe to talk to after the event, or perhaps to attend and if required be with the horse if owner doesnt feel able to. Its no disgrace for anyone to hand the leadrope over to another horsey person for the final minutes.

Id love to have someone come and see my retired horse and give an honest evaluation because it really is so so tough.
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Thats something that would really be advisable to have a vet give an opinion on as they are qualified to do this.

Friends at the End are just that - a knowledgable horse person who is trained to support an owners decision, to provide information and go through the process with them in person if required.
 
The Fuzzy Furry said:
Thats something that would really be advisable to have a vet give an opinion on as they are qualified to do this.
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I would disagree with this. They are qualified to give you an expert opinion on what is wrong and treatment, not to decide whether your oldie has had enough.

I wouldn't accuse our current vets of this, but in the past I have doubted whether vet input has been impartial. They have financial and other interests in your decision.

Both times I have had to have my dog PTS they have made everything worse and more traumatic for the animal and myself.

The first time was my 17 year old deaf and blind dog who's back end collapsed. I took him to my (then) vet and asked to PTS. I came out feeling like a murderer, with my dog on steriods and god knows what other medication. 6 miserable months later I plucked up the courage to try again, luckily supported by a friend who was the receptionist and arranged it with a senior partner.

The last time was my teenage whippet who had a bad heart. She was loosing weight and her blood was not clotting. Again I said enough is enough and I didn't want to put her through any more treatment. The vet insisted that it was just her teeth and convinced me to allow her to operate. They did so and gave her back to me at teatime. By 11pm the bleeding from her mouth was out of control and I took her back. They gave her several transfusions and kept her in. The following morning they got the results of the blood test, her blood was not clotting so they put her to sleep.

On both occasions I was right, I just didn't have the guts to stand by my decision and my dogs suffered. I am sure I would be equally cowardly about my horses.

To have someone who is trained might just be the back up people need. I think its a brilliant idea.
 
My vets decision is my horse is in no pain as long as he's not ridden. It's more a case of the overall picture I could do with a second pair of truthful eyes on if that makes sense?
 
poiuytrewq said:
My vets decision is my horse is in no pain as long as he's not ridden. It's more a case of the overall picture I could do with a second pair of truthful eyes on if that makes sense?
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I understand what you mean :)

Rockysmum, I also know where you are coming from :)

Its a decision some horse owners are able to make, tho not all, as some need reassurance from others too that they are even thinking the right decision.

The main reference (as I understand it) for the Friends at the End is to discuss the methods and be of assistance to the owner in any way tho not to primarily advise if horse should be PTS in the 1st instance.
The Friends have also done training with bereavement councillors to enable them to help owner before and after PTS.

I hope this service helps some people through what is a very traumatic time :)
 
A brilliant idea, well done BHS - particularly as it is impartial advice from a fresh pair of eyes. Sometimes your own friends can be too close to you (and the horse) to really help you take stock of the situation, as they don't want to upset you.

A knowledgable, trained, impartial person to talk things through with could really help a lot of people at a terrible time.
 
I saw this as well & think it's a very good idea, I've helped out at the end with a few horses for friends & my own.
Not everybody has sombody close by who can or will help & there's no shame in not wanting to be there at the end for your own horse.
I think it's a really valuable service.
 
This is is an inspirational initiative on the part of the BHS. All many people need is validation that the time has come. People close to the horse / owner aren't going to be impartial or objective, and unless there some level of distress vets tend not to want to get involved in the decision making aspect.
 
Someone let me know about this thread and I just wanted to say to poiuytrewq get in touch with my team and we will see what we can do to help - friendsattheend@bhs.org.uk or 02476 840517.

Thank you for all of the positive messages on this initiative, it really helps to get some positive feedback and keep us motivated to keep improving on what we do. Especially something like this which has taken ages to get up and running. I really hope and believe that this will make a difference to a lot of people, and just as importantly, a lot of horses. The real thanks though go to our fantastic volunteers and to all BHS members whose subscriptions enable us to fund things like this, so thank you to all of you!
 
i saw this in the magazine & thought it was a great initiative and a good use of the subscription money I pay to the BHS.
 
A very difficult topic
I know many of us are aware of horses being kept alive for owners benefit not the horse's best interests and these owners need to talk sensibly with someone who has ''been there''

If this gets the thought over that it is quality of life, not quantity and stops some of the adverts we see for elderly horses ''looking for good home'' I will be very happy
 
BHS- lee thank you I will I'd kind of forgotten about this. Horse in question has definitely been less miserable seeming the past week for some reason, so I've pushed it too the back of my head.
 
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