Frightened to get on my horse

Hi, sorry to hear about this, totally understand where your coming from and know that it takes over your life as you can't stop thinkin about it.

I too went from being quite confident and not really that much of a worrier to a rider who's legs shook before I got on a quiet, reliable cob. I had a fall from a horse that napped and bucked me off.

I find that slow and consistent riding helped me, the longer I leave it the more nervous I get. I started by having riding lessons at a school that had quiet horses and understanding instructors. They pushed me enough but not so much that I started to panic or feel worried.

What are your horses at home like? Are they quiet to ride? If yes it would probably benefit you to just walk round on them regularly - you'll find yourself wanting to do more after a while. There's no shame in also having a person walk next to your horse while your really nervous.

Baby steps all the way - but don't leave it any longer or you'll regret it and it leaves you more time to think about it.

Wishing you all the best! Would love to hear how you get on.
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I am soryr to hear all that!! I know how you feel - I got scraed of getting on my horse this year after he freaked out once when i had to re-mount on a hack (had to get off for a branch). as i got on and sat down he was listening to something in the distance and must have thought i was a big wolf or something and just freaked out and bronco bucked until i went flying - i already had a saddle slipping fear so it got really bad and i would end up in tears if nobody was in the yard cos i couldn't face getting on him wihtout someone to hold him!! I've never been nervous about anything before and it was a real shock.

I did exactly what i do when backing young horses, and over the winter worked on it, and it's worked. It's really simple. Don't ever go out one day and say 'today i'm going to get on'. instead just build up really gradually, putting on the saddle etc. then put on the saddle and your hat, take both off and leave it. Then put on the saddle, bridle and hat. Then a few days later your body protector.
then stand by mounting block wiht all your stuff, then leave it for the day, lots of pats and put horse away.
then after a few more days (or whenever you feel ready) put your foot in the stirrup.
then next time you feel ready put a small amount of weight on saddle, then after a few more days, a bit more weight etc. Never have in your mind 'right, today i'm going to do it' - just take it as it comes.
when you eventually sit on the horse, then just get straight off, and then do as others have suggested and just go really slowly.
They key is the lack of pressure - if you think you'll be putting your foot in the stirrup one day but then you don't dare, don't worry! It doesn't matter - there is all the time in the world.
obviously also you have to keep rewarding the horse for thier standing still, lots of patting and so on.

i really hope it works out for you! Good luck!!
 
I will try your method, I think im so embarressed of whats happened that I feel silly doing things bit by bit. But you are right, I have to stop worrying what others on the yard may think and just do it my way and build my confidence. One problem i have is my husband is so desperate to see me riding again that he doesnt realise that hes putting extra pressure on me and then I feel embarresed. I will talk with him tonight and tell him the truth about the fears i now have.
 
Hi Mrs Mozart, thats how i feel. My horses are also very sensitive and i dont want to wind them up with my nerves. My Trakhaner is 18hh high so as you can imagine when he plays up it aint pretty. However he is a fantastic horse if rode with confidence as he gets his confidence from the rider. I will indeed get a lesson on a calm horse and not go back to where i fell off, i dont think they should have put me on that horse.
 
Poor you. You're not the only one. I have suffered from nerves for years. It started with an accident I had about four years ago involving a juggernaut, low railway bridge and a high speed train! I have the best horse in the world, who is quite forward going but really has never put a foot wrong. With the help of my lovely friend (unpaid life coach) last summer I was managing to canter around open fields and even went to a show. The key was to take everything very slowly, one step at a time and don't do anything until you feel ready. Unfortunately, because I haven't hacked out for a while due to weather etc I seem to be back to my old nervous self. I am ok riding in the school but going out for a hack yesterday terrified me. I got it into my head my horse was going to bolt home with me and I felt sick with fear. BUT I know that I can overcome it I just need to start hacking out regularly again. I know that I will always have a tendency to feel nervous and this is made so much worse by having a big break from riding. You have had a very frightening incident followed by not riding for a long time. Have you got a good friend you can start riding out with. You need to find a sympathetic instructor you trust too. I have a lovely one but unfortunately I am in East Sussex. A couple of years ago I did have one session of hypnotherapy. It really worked for me. Thinking about booking some more to try and get me over this last bout of negative thinking! Sometimes I feel like just giving up but I actually love riding and I love my horse. Really feel for you and hope you manage to get some help and support.
 
Yes, but you said they were retired so you could always be sneaky-beaky and say you are easing them gently back into work
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However I think many people have been in your shoes, I have, and I even think Pippa Funnell was at one point (?) so I think people will be kinder than you think
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Hi Mrs Mozart, thats how i feel. My horses are also very sensitive and i dont want to wind them up with my nerves. My Trakhaner is 18hh high so as you can imagine when he plays up it aint pretty. However he is a fantastic horse if rode with confidence as he gets his confidence from the rider. I will indeed get a lesson on a calm horse and not go back to where i fell off, i dont think they should have put me on that horse.

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Yup, totally understand your predicament hun
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. You will get there though. Little steps.

Definately talk to your husband
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. I know mine can be keen to show that he is being supportive, and just occasionally I have to rein him in a bit - explain that I can't yet jump a three inch pole on Dizz, never mind do the BSJA stuff that he bought her for me to do
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Hi yaddowshad, so sorry to hear you're having these issues. Sounds like the RS is a damn liability.

I am very near you, if you think it may help you would be more than welcome to come and have a sit on my lad. He's safe as houses and would look after you. We have an arena and farmland to hack in, we could even go for a pootle with me on foot if it would be remotely helpful. I do sympathise with loss of nerve, big style. It's not your fault either xx

ETA - Dur, should have thought of this too. I know a fabulous instructor. She has got me from a sobbing, screaming wreck in front of a 2ft showjump to belting over allsorts out hunting. She's a diamond. If you like I will PM you her details, you could have a chat. She could teach you on your own horse, or there is still the offer of a lesson on mine to start you off. If it would help. Hugs love xxx
 
Ring Tiffany Rix on 0771948 9095 - she's not far from Gloucester and she gets me riding my OH's ex racing TB who ia a bully and of whom I am still terrified, even tho' I've never come off him. She's calm, patient, understanding, - and brave!. There are also hypnotherapy tapes that you can try?
 
Please send me your instructors details. Thank you very much for your offer I will definately think about it and see if i can combat the nerves.
 
Also, 2 tips I have come to realise with my own confidence issues:

1) take YOUR own time b*llocks to what other people say as to when & how you should do things. They are not you!

2) have good support network around you. Pick people who encourage and support you. Be this through a phone call or sitting in the school whilst you are doing something or whatever you need. Don't surround yourself with negative people, it will only bring you down and make you doubt yourself.

You can do this if you really want to. Most if us have been there and it is ok! Good luck!

(ps I have decided after yakking on about this that I am going to enter a dressage test! So that is 1 more person you have inspired!)
 
Please let me know how you get on with your test, im so pleased you have decided to do it. I cant believe how fantastic people have been, the horse community really are a good bunch of people.
 
This is one of the best threads I have read on this forum!

I'm in the same boat and I feel totally rediculous!
I breed horses (COBS!!!) and can't even imagine riding them! I keep telling myself i'll break one and keep it for meself but it never happens!

I have not ridden for approx 6 years and I had a nutty conniex and used to jump 4ft bareback with a headcollar..........

Now I can't sit on my 'safe cob mare' bought her in August and have been led on her once! Paid a fortune for her and I'm terrified to even think about riding..... I have friends saying to me "I'll ride her for you" but that's not going to help...... I need a nanny!

Everyone has been so nice and dead right on what they are saying....... you will make it and you will be fine.....

I'm inspired and might take advantage of the nice sunshine due tomorrow! even if it is sitting on her back and playing with her mane!!

Thanks you so much!
 
Hi, i know of a fab riding instructor in Gloucester who is great with nervous riders, she just takes it at your speed and just seems to really understand peoples issues with nerves, she has helped me out in the past when i was so nervous of riding she literally led me round the school in walk! She never pushed me to do more than i was comfortable with until she knew that she could. She also runs jump training for nervous riders with the riding club. PM me if you would like her details. Where in Glos are your horses stabled?
 
Thank you so much for your reply, You inspire me to overcome the problems im having as its wasting my time with my horses. I have an update, new thread ive just posted, I will keep you updated if you are interested, we can share ideas and see what works and what doesnt and hopefully inspire other people.
 
agreed great thread. Also agree take your time.It seems to be a bit of an age thing as well, as we get older we realise our mortality unlike as a teen when your hooning around on allsorts.

Ive always been a nervous rider, but like one poster if someones watching I dont want to look silly so I know I can be brave, its just doing it. My horse has been off 3 months and is only just coming back into work with a tendon injury. 20 mins walking Im quite nervous about getting back on, think my OH will get dragged to 'take photos' as a confidence help lol
 
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