From thread below, what if your child said they weren't compatible with pony/horse?

Hoofprints

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I'm sure that responsible parents would be the first to intervene if they felt their child was dangerously overhorsed.

But what would you do if your child said they weren't compatible with their pony/horse? For example, many many years ago I was very lucky as a child to have my ponies bought for me by Mum. They were very young (often difficult!) and she always taught me to persevere with them. However, at about 12 I outgrew my beloved welsh section B and we got a 14.2hh. Perhaps she was not the best choice because although I'm ashamed to admit it, I soon found I didn't really enjoy riding her very much. Although I wasn't massively into whizzing about and jumping, I did like to do a bit of eventing alongside dressage but I found this pony very difficult to get moving forwards and she didn't seem to like jumping at all. We did have all relevant checks done but said pony just seemed to be a bit lazy! Eventually I wrote a letter to my Mum (!) to explain that I'd really rather change onto a different pony (I didn't want a 'better' one, just one that enjoyed competing too!) but I think she was rather annoyed about it at the time. In due course I outgrew the pony anyway, she was sold to a hacking home who were delighted with her as she was pretty and very quiet, and I moved onto a little thoroughbred who I had a great time with.

What would you do if your child said that they weren't compatible with their horse or pony? I think it's a tricky one, after all it is often you the parent who has paid for the horse, and perhaps it might be seen as very ungrateful for a child to complain. I also think its very important for children to learn perseverance and hard work with horses. At the same time, if you are paying upkeep for a horse a child doesn't like, then perhaps its not worth it? Any thoughts?
 
If qualified instruction and dedication from thechild had been tried and still no compatability between the two...I'd listen to the kid and find the pony a better suited home and the child a better suited pony.

No point in horses if there's no enjoyment or benefit either way :)
 
Having spent a few years ponyless (I had one up until I was five and didn't get another until I was thirteen, and that one was borrowed from my aunt) I would have been grateful for any pony, no matter how naughty/lazy/ugly it might have been!
 
Sell it/them.

Pony or child;)

Personally, speaking from experience, if my daughter doesn't get on with a pony, she won't ride it full stop. I can't physically force a 15 year old who is taller and probably heavier than me on a pony. Therefore wasted pony, time and effort, the pony may as well go somewhere where it will be appreciated.
 
^^^ what enfys said.

I've had it happen twice now and I don't really care if other parents can't see why I don't make the child keep the pony. It's supposed to be fun. It certainly isn't any fun having a child who doesn't want to ride their pony. As an adult I really can't see why it is so difficult to admit you made a mistake and the pony you thought would be perfect for your child isn't.

I must say though that I did persevere with our big mare, my daughter always does find it difficult to transfer her trust from one pony to the next and in the case of the big mare it was particularly difficult because she broke, badly, within two weeks of arriving and I didn't really want my daughter getting too attached because for the next six weeks we waited to see if the horse would have to be pts. Then we spent six months not certain if she'd be anything like sound. After that it seemed very difficult for my daughter to get on with her. She was a huge change from a 14.2 Welsh to a big 16.3 3/4 TB X Shire. I didn't force my daughter to ride her but it did take a lot of expert tuition to help her to understand the mare. She now loves the horse and is totally comfortable with her.

It does seem somewhat odd to me given that I was desperate for a pony as a child and would ride what ever I was offered, usually the nutters or the stubborn, but that's the difference between my daughter and me. She will get on anything if someone needs a hand with sorting it out, just as I would have done, but when it comes to her own pony she wants one that she can enjoy. I didn't have that luxury.
 
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As a 13 year old, I was so pathetically grateful to have a pony of my own, it never occurred to me to want a different/better one. I adored my fat, grumpy mare and she was with us until she died.

I am not sure how I will be with my own daughter. She is much much luckier than me - she is only 7 and already has her own pony. To be honest, as long as the pony is safe I think I will expect her to get on with it. If she doesn't want to, well owning a pony is a privilege, not a right.
 
I was a scrounging work-for-rides type kid- so would ride anything for anybody:D.

My daughter has had her own pony since aged 3......she adored the first one and grew out of her and she was sold on .....she chose her second pony who is young, green and too big BUT was bought as a long-term prospect, neither of us relishing the selling aspect of owning horses. She's had her ups and downs with him, lost her confidence- got it back now though. At one point I thought I had made a mistake in buying him for her- I offered to sell him and buy her a smaller/older pony.......she was outraged! She wanted...and I quote a seven year old..to 'work it out with Toby'. Bless her- she has but if she had been unhappy I would have changed ponies for her- as others have said- its supposed to be a fun thing.
 
As a 13 year old, I was so pathetically grateful to have a pony of my own, it never occurred to me to want a different/better one. I adored my fat, grumpy mare and she was with us until she died.

I am not sure how I will be with my own daughter. She is much much luckier than me - she is only 7 and already has her own pony. To be honest, as long as the pony is safe I think I will expect her to get on with it. If she doesn't want to, well owning a pony is a privilege, not a right.

As someone who wasn't lucky enough to have her own pony, I would say they should be grateful and get on with it!!

Within reason of course......:)
 
As someone who wasn't lucky enough to have her own pony, I would say they should be grateful and get on with it!!

Within reason of course......:)

Sorry, I don't agree, I have seen countless children through the years at Pony Club given that ultimatum, they ended up scared, unhappy and stopped riding altogether.

Riding, indeed, the whole horse thing, should be enjoyable, especially for children, force them to do something they don't want to do, or are frightened of and you may be putting them off a wonderful hobby for life.

To my shame, I have made a couple of really bad decisions on ponies that I thought were suitable for my daughter, they weren't:o Their shenanigans amused me, I loved riding them, but they scared the stuffing out of her. Should I then just have said "Oh get on and stop being such a flaming wimp!" to a child that visibly shook with fear when she was put up?

No, if a pairing doesn't suit, start again.
 
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