Frustrated with horse, UPDATE!

Firewell

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Hello,

for those that read my post a couple of days ago about my horse that wouldnt load, shoe etc etc.

Well, I listened to the advice on here and I got a local Kelly Marks associate lady to come out this morning!
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It went really well, we used a Monty Roberts headcoller and did some ground work in the school to to get her listening to me, she did really well and picked it up instantly. The lady was really impressed and said she was incredibly intelligent and wonderful to work with and that she had fallen in love with her!
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We then moved on to the loading and using the same techniques we used in the school. Vay was good and listened to what the lady said, however it got to a point when she realised the only way was forwards into the box and she threw all her toys out the pram and did a perfectly balanced verticle rear
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The lady didnt release the pressure on the headcoller though and after that Vay loaded beautifully.

We loaded her a few times and I had a go. Then we put her away for 15 mins, I brought her out again and loaded her another few times by which point she was going up the ramp on her own!

The lady said that Vay didnt have a loading problem, it was me
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Im the problem
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She said that im not Vay's leader and that actually Vay didnt see the point of me
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, apparently im the 'weak' link in the herd. I said that I thought Vay didnt respect me and the lady said it was because I hadnt earned her respect and that I need to be much more consistent with her and not baby her which apparently I do.

So to cut a long story short, I need to work on myself now and be confident, consistent and firm around her. Im now worried that I just dont have the personality for my highly intelligent, brave, strong mare. I think im too flightly for her
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. This lady was brilliant and she made it seem so simple and said she wished every horse was like my Vay, so why do I find her so complicated!

Anyhow im going to get one of the headcollers and practice leading, loading etc with her and maybe our relationship will become stronger.

I want to thank the people on here that helped me.
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That's rather interesting, that you are the problem...?! But I am really pleased for you that you seem to have cracked it!
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well done
 
I always interested in these types of people but i know people swear by them and hey if it works go for it!!!
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If you can learn to use the headcollars etc i'm sure this will be a big help (we had a couple of bad loadser on the yard who were mostly cured by these). If you have techniques to work on concentrate on those rather than stressing about your personality
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The very fact that you're getting help rather than just beating the s*** out of your horse shows that you're a good owner, and trying to overcome the problem
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lol, yes need to stop stressing but I am a stress head!
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Im very pleased that it was all relatively simple to sort out so thats good. The lady is very close so if I dont manage to get the method right away shes only down the road if she needs to come out again.

She was a really nice lady though, said it was more my problem than Vay's but she said it in a nice way. My problem because im expecting Vay to trust me, respect me and do what I want when I havent put in the consistent handling to earn this response. I let her get away with things and then wonder why she wont do what I want and with a smart horse like her she needs to know the boundries.

All very interesting!
 
Hey, Well done!

Really pleased to hear your news, what a great achievement for you . It must be a great relief to finally get some results with your horse.

I can empathise with you about the leadership problem with yourself and horsey, I find it quite difficult to remember to be "in charge "but I am fortunate in having a very biddable and non challenging horsey who doesn't take advantage of my poor leadership skills!!
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Very best of luck to you both
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