Full Livery People - Do you see your horse daily?

[Petmurf]

An escape plan for me and old horse has now been devised!
I sit tight until 28/01/2022. Then give a month's notice. No reason given, other than " I feel it's time for us to move on". Ignore all tantrums/beseeching/begging. If YO refuses the notice, 2 weeks prior to exit date, I'll move all my/horse's belongings home, remind YO of when livery will cease, and arrange for new YO and trailer to meet us halfway. Horse is excellent to box (previous international show jumper) and off we shall go.
Current YO knows where my friend's livery yard is (and has been scathing about it - "I wouldn't let any horse of mine live in a bog". They don't.) I doubt she'll ever speak to me again.
I'm anxious about moving my old boy from his herd, worried that he'll hoon around like a loon (and lame himself) or that the move will bring on colic. However, he hurtles about like a loon anyway, is likely to die via colic, as all his relatives have as they have aged, and so far, he's outlived them all.
So - wise ones: is this a good-enough plan to see old horse and me out?
One of the positives is that that should old horse die before me, there are rescue ponies/horses I could work around with, as I enjoy the infinite slow progress that, in my experience, it requires.

I think thats an excellent plan and if you feel yourself wavering or being talked out of it then come back here and we’ll get you straight again ?

Have you got everything sorted with the new yard?

 

[Ratface]

Yes, all sorted with new yard! They use good quality haylage: currently old horse has hay, but he's had haylage before and been OK on it. He's not at all greedy, and holds condition well. The same vet, barefoot farrier, dentist, saddle-fitter, and I'll do assisted DIY, so should work out OK.
Thanks for the hand-holding!

 

[fawaz]

An escape plan for me and old horse has now been devised!
I sit tight until 28/01/2022. Then give a month's notice. No reason given, other than " I feel it's time for us to move on". Ignore all tantrums/beseeching/begging. If YO refuses the notice, 2 weeks prior to exit date, I'll move all my/horse's belongings home, remind YO of when livery will cease, and arrange for new YO and trailer to meet us halfway. Horse is excellent to box (previous international show jumper) and off we shall go.
Current YO knows where my friend's livery yard is (and has been scathing about it - "I wouldn't let any horse of mine live in a bog". They don't.) I doubt she'll ever speak to me again.
I'm anxious about moving my old boy from his herd, worried that he'll hoon around like a loon (and lame himself) or that the move will bring on colic. However, he hurtles about like a loon anyway, is likely to die via colic, as all his relatives have as they have aged, and so far, he's outlived them all.
So - wise ones: is this a good-enough plan to see old horse and me out?
One of the positives is that that should old horse die before me, there are rescue ponies/horses I could work around with, as I enjoy the infinite slow progress that, in my experience, it requires.

I think that is an excellent plan!
Your horse has experience moving around from his previous career, he will be fine and he will make new friends.
My advice is don't engage in any emotional blackmail and also don't take anything to heart.
It sounds like your new yard will be a good step for you both.

 

[Petmurf]

Yes, all sorted with new yard! They use good quality haylage: currently old horse has hay, but he's had haylage before and been OK on it. He's not at all greedy, and holds condition well. The same vet, barefoot farrier, dentist, saddle-fitter, and I'll do assisted DIY, so should work out OK.
Thanks for the hand-holding!

You sound so much more upbeat now than you did yesterday ? Just get through the next 10 weeks, you can use that time to plan what you want to do now that you can and will see him every day

 

[Ratface]

Thank you, Fawaz.

 

[Snowpup]

I go every day as despite paying £600 pcm my mare is often left without hay. I would love to feel I could skip a day but I can’t.

 

[Petmurf]

I go every day as despite paying £600 pcm my mare is often left without hay. I would love to feel I could skip a day but I can’t.

My old yard was the same which is one of the reasons we moved, at the old place it was frowned upon if we topped up their hay so I had to sneak by and get some. New place and he doesnt run out of hay or water so I know I can skip a day if I need to

 

[Greylegs]

Mine are on full livery and I rarely miss a day to go up and see them, especially as I've only recently got my second and am still bonding with her. I often go and do stable jobs too, even though I know they're both very well looked after and I don't need to do it.

It helps that the yard is only 700 yards from my house, of course, which makes it easier. I can be there in a couple of minutes. I love it when my older boy calls to me when I get into the yard, and (milestone moment yesterday) the new one had a little whicker when I arrived too .... they keep me sane!

 

[Hexx]

I moved mine to full livery from DIY earlier this year - he went back to the yard where he was backed last year. I have the utmost faith in the YO - she does a fab job with him. I know he's always got hay, a thick bed and gets out in the field and exercised properly, which means I don't have to go up every day. The YO sends me pictures/videos during the week if he does something particularly cute or naughty!

The yard is considerably further away than my old DIY yard (25 miles as opposed to 3), so I normally manage at least 3/4 days a week.

At first, I did feel guilty at not seeing him everyday, but I do get quality time with him when I am there - I can spend ages grooming, fussing, tack cleaning and riding him, rather than having to race the clock to get mucked out, hayed, fed, field poo picked, water/fencing checked and then finally ridden.

 

[Boots*McGruber]

No but it isn't an option for me anyway. I travel a fair bit for work which is why he is on full livery. I do miss him but I trust the YOs and he seems happy there. He has lots to look at and he is exercised when I'm away.

 

[Lexi_]

An escape plan for me and old horse has now been devised!
I sit tight until 28/01/2022. Then give a month's notice. No reason given, other than " I feel it's time for us to move on". Ignore all tantrums/beseeching/begging. If YO refuses the notice, 2 weeks prior to exit date, I'll move all my/horse's belongings home, remind YO of when livery will cease, and arrange for new YO and trailer to meet us halfway. Horse is excellent to box (previous international show jumper) and off we shall go.
Current YO knows where my friend's livery yard is (and has been scathing about it - "I wouldn't let any horse of mine live in a bog". They don't.) I doubt she'll ever speak to me again.
I'm anxious about moving my old boy from his herd, worried that he'll hoon around like a loon (and lame himself) or that the move will bring on colic. However, he hurtles about like a loon anyway, is likely to die via colic, as all his relatives have as they have aged, and so far, he's outlived them all.
So - wise ones: is this a good-enough plan to see old horse and me out?
One of the positives is that that should old horse die before me, there are rescue ponies/horses I could work around with, as I enjoy the infinite slow progress that, in my experience, it requires.

Just reading through this thread as it’s been bumped, and the date in this stood out to me. Hope everything is still proceeding as planned for you!

 

[Petmurf]

Just reading through this thread as it’s been bumped, and the date in this stood out to me. Hope everything is still proceeding as planned for you!

Me too and was going to ask the same thing

 

[twobearsarthur]

My horse is on full youngstock livery. I would love to see him everyday but it’s a 60 mile round journey. He’s that far away because it’s the best place for him right now (I’ll eventually move that way when I have the funds). I don’t feel guilty, he doesn’t care that I don’t go and look at him everyday or even do something with him. He’s quite content with his never ending supply of hay and grass (Irish Draughts for you). Enjoy having the choice that’s the best thing about full livery. No pressure.

 

[Ratface]

Just reading through this thread as it’s been bumped, and the date in this stood out to me. Hope everything is still proceeding as planned for you!

Hi Cragrat, no, I haven't had sufficient nerve to give notice. Pathetic, eh?
The YO is becoming more passive aggressive. When I have been "given permission" to come and see my horse, a a two-hour slot agreed and I arrive, horse is already in. I go in to see him, take off rug to groom etc: YO appears silently outside and starts sweeping the already immaculate yard outside his door. I say "Good afternoon - how are you?". Complete silence. Continued dramatic sweeping. Horse, who is loose in his box, goes to speak to YO who brings in his feed and hay twice a day, turns him out/brings him in etc. YO chats away to him. "How's my little star today?" Who's a handsome man, then?" Horse snuffles and huffs back. I continue in my role of Chief Gooseberry.
This can go on for twenty minutes. YO completely ignores me.
My polite manners and rigid upbringing put me at a distinct disadvantage. I want to tell YO to go away and leave us in peace. Or words to that effect. I never have.
She will scream at me, slam doors and gates and upset the horse. My politeness will disintegrate and I shall use extremely bad language whilst asking her to leave us alone.
Currently, I'm considering not going down ever again. Never speaking to YO again. Just ensuring the livery money goes into her account each month. Never seeing my horse again.
I could help out at my friend's Bog, mess about with her rescues, have a cuppa and a chat with the people there.
My horse's YO will get in touch if horse needs money for necessary upkeep. Farrier, worm counts, vaccinations etc. I shall always pay whatever is needed.
One day, she'll get in touch and say he has an acute onset of some illness or field accident and I shall give permission for him to be pts. I shall contact the equine vet and confirm that s/he can act as my agent, and that they should invoice me for that service.
Horse's passport is with YO. She can send it back to the AHS, but she probably won't bother.
Prior to this, I will have removed all but three t/o rugs, two stable rugs, a cooler, fly rug, two fly masks, basic grooming kit, headcollar, first aid kit.
My tack lives at home, as do sundries like lunge line, boots, and the detritus of five decades of horse ownership.

 

[Caol Ila]

This makes me sad to read, Ratface. You really should move your horse. What you describe sounds horrendous.

I’m not seeing Hermosa as much as I should. She is on full livery and the care is excellent, I’m on a tough deadline this week, and she’s changed herds again (all related to weaning faff…it’s her original herd but she hasn’t been in it for two months), so she’s unsettled anyway. I should go there more. But the drive is a b1tch, and Fin (on DIY) is on a 3pm bring in curfew.

 

[Peglo]

Oh @Ratface I usually love reading your posts but this one is so sad. I’m angry on your behalf. Do not let that b****h win! He is not her horse, he is yours to love.

 

[LadyGascoyne]

@Ratface in this situation, I’d consider offering to give the horse to the YO.

You may not want to move an old horse, and he may benefit from the stability but you shouldn’t have to pay for it if you are never going to see your horse again.

I’d probably agree a loan agreement where she takes on all costs and has the option to return him to you on the understanding that you will be moving him if she does.

ETA, I’d approach it as “I’m going to need to make some changes to my own financial arrangements, and I know how much he means to you. I’d like to offer you him on loan in recognition of the bond you have, but absolutely no pressure, if you aren’t able to have him then I have sorted out a lovely option for him.”

 

[Berpisc]

Oh hell @Ratface, that is awful, I hate that you are being bullied like this,I understand the politeness dilemma though. I think LadyGascoyne's suggestion is a possibility.

 

[Deltofe2493]

Oh @Ratface have you got any family that can claim back your horse on your behalf??? So so sad ?

 

[Errin Paddywack]

This is so unfair. You are having to cut back on your own living expenses so that she gets to keep your horse in luxury. If you can't have full access to him then I would be tempted to either loan or give him to her and walk away. This must be torture, could hardly be worse if you were to relinquish ownership of him surely. Sooner or later he won't be there any more and you will have penny pinched for yourself for nothing, probably not even able to say goodbye.

 

[Meowy Catkin]

When I lived in England I hacked with someone who had two ponies. One was on DIY at a yard near mine and the other was a very elderly pony who was on full livery in a different village. She had wanted to move the elderly pony to the DIY yard for a while only the FL owner had had the screaming abdabs at this suggestion as the pony was 'too old to move' and there was a lot of extreme manipulation. Later the pony owner split with her partner and couldn't afford the full livery. The pony was moved to the DIY yard to screams of 'you'll kill her by doing this!' and similar from the FL owner.

The pony travelled well, settled in well and thrived.

Having known that situation I personally would be trying to find a hell or highwater way of moving your horse Ratface. No way should someone who is being so manipulative and unkind be rewarded by being given the horse.

 

[Peglo]

When I lived in England I hacked with someone who had two ponies. One was on DIY at a yard near mine and the other was a very elderly pony who was on full livery in a different village. She had wanted to move the elderly pony to the DIY yard for a while only the FL owner had had the screaming abdabs at this suggestion as the pony was 'too old to move' and there was a lot of extreme manipulation. Later the pony owner split with her partner and couldn't afford the full livery. The pony was moved to the DIY yard to screams of 'you'll kill her by doing this!' and similar from the FL owner.

The pony travelled well, settled in well and thrived.

Having known that situation I personally would be trying to find a hell or highwater way of moving your horse Ratface. No way should someone who is being so manipulative and unkind be rewarded by being given the horse.

I bulit my own stables 2 years ago and moved my 29 and 24 year old over. (same turnout field tbf) much different stables, they weren’t used to seeing each other in their old stables, had different companions when they were in but now both have turned out much happier by the move being together. They were in their old stables for 16 and 12 years.

 

[dorsetladette]

@Ratface please move your horse. He's yours not the yard owners! Can you find a new yard and then have a family member come with you the day you want to move the horse. If not I'm sure a HHO member would help you if you give us a rough location.

 

[My_old_warmblood]

I had mine or working livery as a kid and would sneak out of school at lunch to see my chap. I cried myself to sleep if I didn’t see him that day. When he came home it was like he had never left, so I’m glad I did it!