Fuming - need to vent

[Vicki_Krystal]

Im really annoyed!

My yard is a 15 mile round trip - in traffic it takes me 20 minutes each way.

I get to the yard to find my horses already out - no text from anyone to say why etc?
After i found out who it was i got a text saying 'only trying to help'

Helping would have been texting me before i drove 15 miles..

Im also really pi55ed that people think its fine to just turn mine out without letting me know - they could have been in for the farrier / vet / lesson for all they know.

This is also the same person that gives my horses the haylage his horse doesnt eat?
Why? they dont need more and i didnt ask for him to do it.

Why do people think they can meddle in other peoples horses??

 

[quirky]

Does he put all of them out

?

If he does, it must take him a while!!

I too would be pooped off. I would be asking before I did anything with anybodies horse, unless it was in mortal danger of course.

 

[Vicki_Krystal]

He did the 4 that live in.

I feel better for writing it down - im more annoyed he did it without letting me know??

I would never turn anything out without texting to ask if there was a reason they were in first?

 

[russianhorse]

Ive had that too - rushing to get down to yard only to find he was already out OR on one occasion, i found her very kindly lungeing him "just to help me out!" with a nice big crowd around watching her grrrrr

 

[Vicki_Krystal]

[ QUOTE ]
Ive had that too - rushing to get down to yard only to find he was already out OR on one occasion, i found her very kindly lungeing him "just to help me out!" with a nice big crowd around watching her grrrrr

[/ QUOTE ]

Sparks would fly if that were me!

 

[E_Lister]

Have you explained all of what you just said to them?
Because I think you are right to be very upset it is interference, but if they don't realise you see it like that they are a) daft but b) going to carry on annoying you.

Try talking and explaining to them, maybe say something like "thank you for thinking of my horse that is very generous, but I would prefer for only me to handle him or feed him because..."

 

[HollyWoozle]

Oh yes, that would be very very annoying! I'm fortunate to keep horses at my family home and not on a yard. However, I live 30 mins away and rely on my parents to do a lot of the caring. We're supposed to share the horse but often they ignore my opinion and feed them really awful things as treats and aren't willing to take my advice against doing so. It's a bit tricky when I rely on them though! Very frustrating.

I hope this person on your yard stops interfering! Even if they are trying to be helpful, which is nice, they should still ask you and not just do things.

 

[CBFan]

I'd be annoyed if I got to the yard and found anyone had done / was doing anything for/with my horse without checking / being asked first - unless it was an emergency etc Obviously.

 

[russianhorse]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Ive had that too - rushing to get down to yard only to find he was already out OR on one occasion, i found her very kindly lungeing him "just to help me out!" with a nice big crowd around watching her grrrrr

[/ QUOTE ]

Sparks would fly if that were me!

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh I was bouncing off the walls - I dont think she'd ever seen me so angry lol (she never did it again)

 

[Scheherezade]

I suppose it's personal preferences. I never turn out or feed my friends horses, but if I have time I will muck them out for her and top up haynets. And vice versa

It means she has more time to groom/ride as she is very busy working 3 jobs

Sometimes it is a little frustrating as I will turn up to discover nothing neds doing, but as I say, I just spend the extra time doing jobs I normally wouldn't like bathing tails

It also means that on days when I get caught out (like now - can't get to yard because of the snow) I'm on friendly enough speaking terms to know she'll keep him ticking over till I can get there.

 

[Natch]

QR

Don't know your circumstances, but surely it is possible they genuinely thought they were helping you by getting yours out earlier/saving you 5 mins but thought you would still be coming up to muck out etc?

Just sounds like you just need to have a quiet word, diplomatically and say thanks for the help, but I really would prefer to do all the handling/feeding etc all myself just in case.

 

[sjmcc]

beleive me hed be in for it if he put myn on a lunge line who the hell does this man think he is oh my god you cant just mess with other peoples horses maybe its time for a chat with this man

 

[Echo Bravo]

Nice quiet word in their ear, but also why don't you all put up a notice board for each livery about times farrier/vet and turn out times or bringing in times etc. That way nobody gets upset

 

[TequilaMist]

Agree with Naturally they may have thought it would be a nice thing to do.
We turn out each others horses on our yard.My horse is usually turned out by time I get there in mornings.Tho we do have each others numbers to contact if we are in doubt.Usually will text/phone someone if unsure re putting out a horse

 

[CBFan]

[ QUOTE ]
Agree with Naturally they may have thought it would be a nice thing to do.
We turn out each others horses on our yard.My horse is usually turned out by time I get there in mornings.Tho we do have each others numbers to contact if we are in doubt.Usually will text/phone someone if unsure re putting out a horse

[/ QUOTE ]

I think it's fine if you have an arrangement like that but to just turn someone elses horses out without checking first is out of order IMO.

 

[Resupgirl]

In my experience the problem with livery yards is people who you think do you a good turn then talk about you!

I don't like anybody exercising my horses unless I ask them to do so (as they are all youngsters even if they were older I would not).

Generally its the people who don't ride their horses that interfere with yours. They talk the talk but don't walk the walk.

There are genuine people out there but best paddle your own canoe!

 

[Dubsie]

It's a 'he' you're dealing with. It's a male brain thing (sorry to generalise) but most men love to be helpful, but don't think to check they really are being helpful, and in this instance it probably never occured to him that he could have saved you a journey by texting you first. OH is always being helpful and recent examples include unloading the washing machine into the drier (which I rarely use but he finds easy) and I find daughters fave logo'd T shirt has gone all crinkly as it's a 'do not tumble dry' one.

Best way of handling is to be ultra polite and thank him for turning out and say it was a nice surprise but could you text and check next time in case I have the farrier or it can save me driving over. Ditto the feed thing, thank '... but can you always check with me first please?'.