Fun thread- stupid things you've said...

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Elvis

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...in a moment of surprise or panic.

A friend of mine and I were caught in a bolting situation out hacking when our horses were chased by dogs. After both of us trying and failing to stop my friend looked across at me and shouted 'S**t' to which I simply replied 'Yup'. Entirely useless and not reply she wasn't looking for I don't think.

I have also, at a uni BUCS competition, which was being filmed, shouted 'I finally grew some balls' at the end of a Showjumping round. The horse had dumped the first 2 riders and I hadn't got it over a single jump in the warm up so was petrified about taking it round a course and was so surprised when I got it round clear that I shouted the first thing that popped into my head. I then had to go an apologise to the judge for my outburst!

So go on what have you accidentally said before your brain has had a chance to process it?
 
In front of all the people at the St John ambulance society at uni (I was fundraising officer and we were giving people fake wounds and injuries for Halloween) "we can all have massive gashes on our faces and it'll be great fun!"
 
Stupidest thing I ever said was 'I'll take him!' About my junior Arabian who I wasn't good enough to manage. That's not funny though, how about being asked what I learned at a dressage demonstration aged 9 and replying that I'd learned that I didn't like men with moustaches no matter what all the women there thought (chap giving the demonstration had a moustache and was somewhat rakish, the female audience had not kept their opinions to themselves. It was the 80s!).
 
Not me, but Mum :P

Mum "What's that girth? It's really wide, what's it for?"
Me "That's a stud girth"
Mum "Say no more!!"
Me "Um no...not THAT kind of stud..."
 
It wasn't words exactly but back in the day when my best friend and I used to ride ponies for someone who did a bit of dealing, I remember practically yodelling with delight after getting a pony that did NOT jump over a minuscule cross pole. At exactly the same time as a wannabe showjumper child and her posh parents turned up to try out a potential JA pony. I felt like a complete pleb :o
 
Not me but my friend. She has a few moments but this still makes me laugh.
We were out riding and we'd had a good canter and we had to stop for a gate. My pony at the time decided to rear and went vertical and her advice was "oooo stay on!!" I think I replied with "I'm trying"
 
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More something I've done than said ;) years ago when I was still learning Swedish the yard owner was in the hay loft tidying up and I was in the barn underneath stroking a stable cat. She shouted down through the hatch if I could send the cat up to her?? Or that's what I thought I heard anyway, so I held the cat up to the hatch and shouted "Here you go!". Turned out the word for 'Rake' and the word for 'Cat' in Swedish sound extremely similar :D yard owner nearly fell out of the loft laughing when she saw me standing underneath holding a very confused cat in the air. She still ribs me about it today.
 
Not in a moment of panic, but when I was younger and a Pony Club newbie (12ish I think), I learned from the other kids that native ponies don't need plaiting! With enormous excitement I bounded over to our Pony Club DC and announced happily that I didn't need to plait for my PC tests because I had a Welsh Cob... Safe to say I was pretty disappointed to find out that I'd probably fail if I went unplaited - whatever horse I may have had!
 
OH, not me.

After I had driven an 11ft 6inch high lorry under an 11ft 3 inch petrol station canopy.

"I knew you were going to do that"

He was lucky to live :D
 
Running late and I dashed into the confession box at the church and said, 'Hi Father, I've just come for a quickie'.

The bemused Catholic priest replied, 'You'll be lucky'.
 
Just seen this is in the tack room, so guessing it should have been a horsey stupid moment. I've got plenty of those unfortunately.

After a gruelling lesson on a hot day, I walked across the yard, extremely sweaty and dishevelled, past all the designer clad, size 0 women with blonde streaked pony tails and wearing boots more expensive than my horse, I passed Oliver Townsend. He was sitting in the sunshine looking very cool, drinking a cold drink and he said' Hard session eh ?'

Slightly, nonplussed, I replied, 'yep, instructor's too young and fit, and I'm too old'.

Why couldn't I have said something clever instead of sounding like a doughnut ?
 
last week I had a slow puncture in my cars tyre.... drove to the garage to get it repaired.... young chap came out and asked which tyre..... I said near side hind :D .... he looked at me with rather a puzzled look on his face.
my excuse is that I had 2 horses with slight lameness problems and have been talking nearside / offsides all week!
 
These are brilliant :)
Just remembered another- similar to Mosh's.

Was in a lesson when my horse decided to bronc off down the cross country field, I think my instructor was so surprised I hadn't immediately fallen off all she could shout was "well done...ohhh that was close...keep going...well done" in my panic stricken state I could have done with something like "pull one rein hard"

Love the one about the cat/rake misunderstanding!
 
When I teach and I can see people are coming off I insist on shouting "sit up, SIT UP!!" I'm pretty sure if sitting up would be helpful or they could do it, they would! :D
 
FrankieCob said:
When I teach and I can see people are coming off I insist on shouting "sit up, SIT UP!!" I'm pretty sure if sitting up would be helpful or they could do it, they would! :D
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I do this ALL THE TIME! If someone gets jumped out the saddle, trying to sit a bronc , trips out hacking etc .... You can garuntee I'll be there with the two most helpful words in the equine phrase book "SIT UP!!"
 
Gypley said:
I do this ALL THE TIME! If someone gets jumped out the saddle, trying to sit a bronc , trips out hacking etc .... You can garuntee I'll be there with the two most helpful words in the equine phrase book "SIT UP!!"
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Personally I find this really useful! I was out riding with a friend and the mare that I was on bucked as we were going down a really steep hill. I only had the presence of mind to think (and shout) "oh *****", so being shouted at to sit up stopped me from taking a tumble :P but then again, I used to work for her, so it was a knee-jerk reaction to do what I was told :')
 
I was in the tackroom with a husband and wife whose daughter had a pony at the yard. The husband told me they were selling the pony and I asked why, to which his response was that she was getting a bit old. Without checking in with my brain first my mouth said "Ooh, I'm glad I'm not married to you!" There was a second's silence while everybody looked at the wife and held their breath....luckily she saw the funny side,
 
When I was much younger I was breaking in a pony for my instructor. I was living abroad at the time and hadn't really grasped the language yet. Long story short, the pony jumped, and the instructor shouted 'Caresse' to me, which I mistook for 'Cravache'. Caresse means 'Pat' and cravache means 'whip'. Poor pony, I was so embarrassed!
 
When I first got my youngster, I was to heavy to ride him, so my friend was riding him, and I was doing groundwork, lunging long reining etc. He was quite naughty in the beginning, typical youngster behaviour if he didn't get his own way. When I was finally light enough to ride him, was in the school one night, with my friend. I got really brave, and decided to have a little trot. Ollie decided to run away with me, in trot. I completely forgot how to ride, and yelled "Jessica, help meeeee". Recovered my self, got him back and brought him to a nice halt. Jess came over and asked me what I had expected her to do. My reply! "Stand in front of him so he had to stop". We still laugh about it, and when we are in silly moods, shout loudly "Jessica, help meeeeee"
 
Gypley said:
I do this ALL THE TIME! If someone gets jumped out the saddle, trying to sit a bronc , trips out hacking etc .... You can garuntee I'll be there with the two most helpful words in the equine phrase book "SIT UP!!"
Click to expand...
Ha ha that quote just takes me right back to my riding school days, riding crazy ponies in a dusty indoor and our instructor shouting "Sit up, sit back"!
 
FrankieCob said:
When I teach and I can see people are coming off I insist on shouting "sit up, SIT UP!!" I'm pretty sure if sitting up would be helpful or they could do it, they would! :D
Click to expand...
oohh, just realised I do this to my daughter everytime it looks like pony having a naughty moment and she is going to fall, slide or be bronked off, didn't realise though I was being so helpful!
 
FrankieCob said:
When I teach and I can see people are coming off I insist on shouting "sit up, SIT UP!!" I'm pretty sure if sitting up would be helpful or they could do it, they would! :D
Click to expand...

Haha I do that too! I was out hacking on a friend's horse and another friend was riding Dylan. We went for a canter and the little git managed to squeeze past me and sod off! My only helpful advice to my poor friend (a perfectly capable rider, just very rusty) was: "SIT UP!!!"
 
I used to have an Instructor who during one lesson on my old horse screamed at me 'Don't let him go down on you' She couldn't understand why I nearly fell off for laughing until I repeated it back.

Recently I've been having problems with my elbow so went to the Doctors who told me to take Nurofen for 5 days then in a month go back. I rang the surgery to book the next appointment and explained I needed to see the same Doctor as I'd done a Bute trial and it was a follow up appointment :redface3: It was only the receptionists silence that made me realise what I'd said :biggrin3:
 
My children all went to Welsh medium school. The daughter was particularly fluent considering her English speaking background and had a lot of friends who were native Welsh speakers from fiercely Welsh backgrounds. One day I had to pick a bunch of them up from an after school club so I thought I'd play the game and speak to them in my limited Welsh. I told my daughter that she needed to feed her guinea pigs when she got home. Stunned silence in the back seat. The daughter said, "Shut up mam. You're embarassing." Apparently I'd said that she needed to go home and EAT her guinea pigs. Well we like to think we're a bit different over here in Cymru, but..............................
 
Then there was the headteacher who was introducing the staff to the rather dishy HMI who we hoped would write a good report about us . She ended by saying.........."and I'm sure he will give us all one" We wished!
 
daughter's groom said:
Then there was the headteacher who was introducing the staff to the rather dishy HMI who we hoped would write a good report about us . She ended by saying.........."and I'm sure he will give us all one" We wished!
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ROFL!
Not quite as good, but at a county show a friend and I went to check out the craft tent... Friend:" oooh, look at these lovely decorated eggs" Me: "Yes, they're smashing..."
 
Gypley said:
I do this ALL THE TIME! If someone gets jumped out the saddle, trying to sit a bronc , trips out hacking etc .... You can garuntee I'll be there with the two most helpful words in the equine phrase book "SIT UP!!"
Click to expand...

My instructor's classic instruction as the massive 17hh horse bolted at a wall: 'RELAX!' Yeah, right!

Me, as I got up from being trampled: 'Ooh, that's gonna bruise'. :redface3:
 
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