Funny examples of startling lack of knowledge in a horse owner?

Sukistokes2 said:
I read a very old horse book once, that had a section on how to treat and instruct your groom. Apparently you should dismiss a groom that uses a metal curry comb on a horse as its slovenly and lazy behaviour.

Used gently its quite good for pinging mud off!!
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Yes on big patches I always use it! Guess I'm fired...!!
 
sasquatch said:
also had another incident where friend was asked by a little boy why couldn't he extend himself like his pony, and unfortunately it was very specific to a certain part of male anatomy. Friend didn't know what to say, so she replied with something like 'it's to make sure there's no splash back'
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I've mentioned this before but a friend brought her little boy to see the horses, he must have been about 4 at the time. Archie always has a wee as soon as he goes into is stable. My friend's son was watching, fascinated and then excitedly declared "Mummy that's horse has got a foldaway willy, can I have one?"

He's a teenager now and I'm not cruel enough to mention it at the moment, but can't wait until he's older so I can wind him up with it!

I had an interesting time with a fellow livery whose cob gets sweet itch. She insisted (I think maybe still does but she's gone quiet about it now) that a sweet itch is a creature that lives in the horse's skin. When I said no, it's a reaction to midge saliva she got quite nasty and told me I was completely ignorant and I've never dealt with it so can't know anything about it. (My old boy whom I had 14 years had it).

We ended up having a bit of a debate (god knows why I bothered). I asked her to explain why, therefore a sweet itch rug stopped it, she said it didn't stop it but it protected the horse's coat from the trees etc when he was scratching. My next point was that only her horse had it despite sharing the field with others so why hadn't these creatures jumped onto the other horses. Apparently they're either born with the sweet itches (plural!) or without. This is no novice, she's owned horse for over 20 years, including this poor chap for about 10!
 
Friend who had ridden for years but had never had a formal lesson decided to treat herself for the 50th birthday. The instructor told her to "change the rein across the long diagonal". Fortunately he stopped her before she had managed to unbuckle both sides!
 
Another livery was concerned and told me OH was cantering "in the wrong place". She had just bought her first horse, only having ridden in a riding school and thought you should only ask for canter in the corner. Fair enough, as that was what she had been taught.
 
baran said:
Friend who had ridden for years but had never had a formal lesson decided to treat herself for the 50th birthday. The instructor told her to "change the rein across the long diagonal". Fortunately he stopped her before she had managed to unbuckle both sides!
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I love this!!!
 
baran said:
Friend who had ridden for years but had never had a formal lesson decided to treat herself for the 50th birthday. The instructor told her to "change the rein across the long diagonal". Fortunately he stopped her before she had managed to unbuckle both sides!
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:lol: I have just spat my tea onto my laptop after snorting at this!

There is a lovely lady at our yard who has had her boy for about 12 years. He's a real good doer and cobby type, she isn't too keen on riding / exercising him now, so to get some weight off of him, she took a wheelbarrow of hay into his field, and walked around sprinkling it everywhere for him, to encourage him to walk more whilst grazing...
 
I had one last night - M showing slight signs of colic - another livery said 'do you want some antibiotics?'..... I just said no its ok thanks, I was very confused!! Luckily M had a big trump followed by a big number 2, panic over!
 
ThursdayNext said:
Probably looked (and would have worked) a lot like a rubber comb - excellent for getting mud off!
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That I could understand if she were muddy,
It was a gorgeous sunny day mid summer not a spec of mud in site, and if my kit was lack of brushes I could also understand, it wasn't on the top as they were spares.
I went through some of the brushes and explained their use, she was very pleased. It didn't work out, but always makes me smile to myself when I think about it
 
Known people just bought a dressage horse ex thousands of pounds as father top world ranking rating never had a warmblood before now can't ride as to hot things people do to impress
 
Not exactly lack of knowledge but my own example of horsey idiocy - a fellow livery had lost her yearling filly when she got tangled up in some barbed wire, so when a mutual acquaintance stopped by the yard and asked how her baby was, my response was "oh, it was awful - she died". I then proceeded to have a five minute conversation about what a tragedy this was before remembering that livery had just given birth six months ago and acquaintance was more than likely talking about the human baby - one of my most memorable gaffes!
 
A non horsey friend of mine set off on a trekking holiday in Wales. She though it would be a good idea to take paper knickers, to avoid dirty washing, and have nice clean undies everyday. Every evening after a hrs day in the saddle, she'd take her 'riding trousers' off and a confetti of shredded paper would flutter out - leaving her with a piece of elastic around her waist........
 
Some things, however, are said by people who should know better.

My horse can take irrational dislikes to some yards -- one of her less appealing quirks since it's meant I've had to move until I found a yard she likes, and unfortunately she likes expensive ones (the lady must be kept to the lifetsyle to which she is accustomed, but nevermind).

Anyway, the first yard she was at when I moved to Glasgow she took an irrational dislike to, and she would not settle for love nor money. She paced in her field, jumped fences, and while she was perfectly pleasant to ride, she was miserable in turnout. I had the vet test her for stuff, in case there was something physically wrong with her. He didn't find anything. Horse was, as I said, fine to ride, and she looked great; she had a gloriously glossy coat. The yard owner insisted I keep pushing the vet for an answer even though he'd found bupkes. I said as much. The yard owner, who by all accounts had been in the horse business for a couple decades, said, "But she's too shiny! Her blood must be too hot!"

Huh?
 
Well I did something rather stupid myself at the weekend, which I'm still laughing at now...
Took Fatty out to a little dressage comp, his first time on a trailer in 2 years, and my first time out competing on my own.
Got myself in a complete tizz, not helped by my mum arriving and giving me a (late, as usual) birthday present that my estranged father had sent to her house. Stress levels through the roof and a thousand things whirling through my mind all at once!
Finished our last test, untacked and starting getting ready to load up again - still in a state of panic, I was literally shaking - trying to put travel boot on Fatty's foreleg, why won't it fit!?
Then transport man helpfully piped up - "isn't that for his tail" :D I was only trying to put his tail guard on his leg hahahahahahahaha... :D:D:D
Worked out well though, the ensuing laughter made me feel a thousand times better and relaxed me for the journey home! :o what a div hehe!
 
I've done some pretty stupid stuff in the last year or so of horse ownership

- Put one of those Be Nice Halters on like a bridle for awhile before i realised it undid at the side :D:D (its prob a good thing Ted hated the thing as I always tangled it up after I took it off and spent 10 mins working out how to make it look normal again :D )

In the past month I've been borrowing a few of my YOs things at the moment for Teds groundwork lessons and done the following in the same morning :D

- Put magnetic boots on his front by accident before i was told what they were (In my defense they didn't actually say anything and looked exactly like the other brushing boots in the box)

- Put boots on the wrong legs knowing full well what direction the velcro should go

Think I was to nervous for his first groundwork lesson that everything else went out the window haha

I also use what some see as a brush cleaning metal curry comb as a normal curry shedding blade type thing and Robinsons actually sell them as grooming brushes :eek:
 
Holding said:
Not exactly lack of knowledge but my own example of horsey idiocy - a fellow livery had lost her yearling filly when she got tangled up in some barbed wire, so when a mutual acquaintance stopped by the yard and asked how her baby was, my response was "oh, it was awful - she died". I then proceeded to have a five minute conversation about what a tragedy this was before remembering that livery had just given birth six months ago and acquaintance was more than likely talking about the human baby - one of my most memorable gaffes!
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You are being too hard on yourself.......a human baby hardly ever enters the equation !! ;)
 
One of my favourites was a friend of mine who had done quite a lot of riding at a local stables but never been involved with the tacking/untacking process. We got back from a hack and the YO asked him to "take him in and untack him". He disappeared for about half an hour and emerged triumphant - and handed me a bundle of leather, saying "wasn't sure what to undo so undid everything" - he had completely dismantled the bridle! For an encore he had made a good job of rugging - apart from the fact that the breast straps were neatly under the horse's tail and the fillet string tied across his chest. Horse looked very confused.
 
Friend to me "What do you call those girths for horses wearing studs?"
"Would you believe a stud girth?"

Same friend "That horse had got custard on."
She meant evening grease and could not remember the name.
 
I always get asked "have you been to see your horses today/this week?" Nah I couldn't be bothered today, thought they would be fine to muck out their own stables and change their own rugs! They can't believe that I visit them twice a day, everyday, 365 days of the year!
What would these people think if i asked them if they looked after their child today/this week?!!!
Also trying to describe to my best friend from the Czech Republic about horse care and riding really makes me question why we do these things or use these gadgets when you are trying to describe their uses! She asked me if we could do that "thing where they run fast." (Trotting! !)
 
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