Gave someone a shot, now I have dilema.

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summertoots

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I hardly ever let others ride my lad. I struggle hugely with it so I generaly avoid allowing it.
However I have been working away on him and I am realy pleased with the way he is going. He has gone from a horse that the serious riders on the yard ignored to them begining to notice.
My instructor (and boss) rode him the other day and gave me really good feed back on him. I knew she liked what she was on as her usual five min sit on board turned into fourty mins, and she didnt realise the time. I was really happy with this and her being on him didn't worry me as I admire her style of riding and trust her.

The next day I was riding out with a client who is helping us out with exercising. She is a very good rider so I said to her she could have a shot of my lad if she ever wanted a wee sit on him, I admit though I didn't think she would take me up on it. But after we got back she must have said to my boss as that afternoon she said that it was nice of me to offer as she knows how I feel about letting others on him, and if it was ok can she put it down for the next day that this client can ride him. I said yeh ok.
However the next day I noticed that at the time she was down to ride him my boss would be out the yard so she was unsupervised on him!!!!! Had small wory but thought I could just watch instead. But the work on the yard was way behind, clients kept me bussy and I couldn't see what she was doing all the time.
She was not riding badly, not in any way, but I could tell he wasnt happy with her. He was worried about his mouth, and was slipping behind the contact at times, she also rode sitting all the time, I hate this as his muscles are still developing over his back so I rise. There was just little things that niggled me.
The thing that did p^*s me off was she rode him for an hour and he came back all sweaty, I just found that a bit rude to work him to a sweaty heap. She was full of compliments about him said she thought he was lovely, and thanked me for allowing her to ride him.
I said no problem and took him away to deal with him. It was no problem as he was ok I had him back and her token shot was over with.
I rode him the next day and he was fine when it was me with him and he relaxed into the contact again and we had a fantastic lesson. Then at the end my boss said something that turned my blood cold.... the client liked him so much she asked if she could ride him again this weekend. Then she laughed and said I better watch out or she will be after him. I just said she couldn't afford him ha ha.
But I don't want her to ride him, yes she is a good rider, but she does us no favours in the schooling department as he doesnt like her on him.
just feel like I have dug myself a hole as I like this client, she is becoming a friend to us all, and I dont want to upset her feelings but I realy only want myself or my boss on him for now.
Just dont know how to word it.
 
Just say no. It was a one-off and that's how you would like it to remain. Smile sweetly but do not lie!
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Ummmm NO! How cheeky to ask! Just tell YO no it was a one-off. It's your horse, no one should expect to ride it but you.
 
Your horse your call - I would go with the angle it was a one off and you were very lucky to be able to do that. Until a horse is made I am quite particular on who rides them - too many chiefs and not enough indians.
 
Toots - Ultimately, he's your horse and nobody elses. Never feel bad for saying no to someone riding him. I agree with JAQSZOO, just make it clear it was a one off.
 
what a shame, it's a really tricky situation. I'd say something like you are working on something specific with him at the moment and prefer not to confuse (?) him with lots of different riders no matter how experienced they are although you are very flattered she liked him so much
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???
not very helpful probably!
 
the only resolution I can see (other than saying no) is to explain that your horse is still developing, and that you would be happy for her to ride..but only as a lesson with you or your trainer instructing so that his work remains consistant
 
That is what I want to say, I dont want to hurt feelings though, I have nothing against this person, I genuinely like her.
I feel a bit like a kid with a bag of lovely sweets and I am to mean to share them. But he's my horse of a life time and so very special to me.
 
No hes not working livery, no money was involved in this. Were a very close yard and it was just a friendly offer of a ride as she has no horse of her own at the moment. Most folk have ofered her a shot, but so far she just wants on mine. You see he is a 16.2 3/4 TB, when the other offers are cobs (no offence to cobs) and he has very nice paces. She likes the flashy looks, and the fact he is a safe ride.
 
Well in that case you just politely say "no, sorry, we are at a point in our training at the moment where I do not think he will benefit from others riding him" accompanied by a big smile
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I would simply say that you are working on his development, and he has a trainign schedule that you need to keep to for his own good - and that having different riders on him at this stage isn't what is best for him. Say as a one off you were happy for her to ride him, but it was just that, a one-off - I am sure she will understand.
 
My advice is that I strongly recommend you do not lie and you do not go down the route of delaying-tactics or making up any rubbish to get rid of her at the moment - it will only end in bad-feeling. The most simplest way is to purely say "No sorry."
 
I understand how you feel. I have one horse, he is my first and only horse despite the fact I have been riding for 30 yrs.
I don't let people ride him willy nilly. I have let an instructor ride him in the past and currently my friend is doing a bit with him as I have been injured. She recently did a dressage comp with him. I was thrilled he went so well but it felt uncomfortable to see someone else competing him. The other day I let the working pupil ride him for 10 minutes but she was there with inst and me and I know her riding and trust her. Aside from very few people I wont let others ride him. If I saw something I did not like I would not be backward about asking them to stop.
I agree to work him for 1hr and come back sweaty is too much if it's the first time she's ridden him.
Bottom line: Your horse: You decide WHO rides and WHEN your horse is ridden: You don't need to feel bad at all about saying it is a one off: You don't even have to explain TBH
 
[ QUOTE ]
That is what I want to say, I dont want to hurt feelings though, I have nothing against this person, I genuinely like her.
I feel a bit like a kid with a bag of lovely sweets and I am to mean to share them. But he's my horse of a life time and so very special to me.

[/ QUOTE ]

How can you be hurting her feelings? You have let her ride, something you don't normally do and she should appreciate that. I would be very wary of saying that your working on something at the moment etc etc as that just gives the impression that its only tempory and she will be welcome to ride him again soon. Best to be upfront and knock it on the head now.
 
Definitely just say it was a one off and leave it at that. Much better than trying to make excuses each time she wants to ride him. I think that it will become a real nightmare with hurt feelings if you dont stop it now.
 
Just tell her the truth, no point making something up, Just tell her it was a one off. Simple as, I m fussy with who rides my horse aswell as I dont like it I woud just rather ride my own horse and not see other people on him as I dont think I would ever be happy with anyone riding him, Well not anyone on my yard, as a lot are heavy with their hands and kick and gob horses. x
 
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