Gay/Bi Male Riders.

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pompeydressage

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Hello fellow forum readers. I am told that many male Dressage riders are gay or bi, however even coming across another guy competing in Dressage at my level is a surprise regardless of his orientation. Is there a place or medium for locating like minded guys?

I compete at Unaffiliated level and am seriously outnumber by the ladies! In fact I am often the only guy in it so finding other guys is a challenge.
 
Can't help you with details OP, but this is true, from the horse's mouth.

Son speaking to Mother on telephone: "We are gong to a ball next week." Mother "Oh, is it a Gay Ball?"
Son "No, not really, although it might as well be as it is the Dressage Ball."

So they found each other, although I don't know how or where. I might suggest attending some higher level dressage competitions, affiliated, as a spectator and try and go with someone who has some friends in the dressage world. I am told that the National Championships in September time is a great event to attend anyway.
 
It's terribly sad tbh... one day males may decide that it's time to take back equestrinism from the ladies! Chaps are holding their own in the NH and the flat but tend to leave the poncing around to ladies wanting to bob around in a top hat and tails for some unknown reason.
 
I compete at dressage and am male. I am usually the only male, but not always. We are the minority though.
 
I don't compete at any level except maybe small local affiliated shows (only very recently) and am usually the only male, let alone gay/bi etc. around where we are it is also rare to see another guy out hacking. Doesn't bother me though. Having been to some unaffiliated dressage comps (as a spectator mind you... Thought of Competing in one makes me go slightly green ) there does seem to be a lack of male presence. As for a platform to meet others? Don't know of any! Sorry, not much help! Local riding clubs are mostly women. The only time I see men riding in abundance is out hunting, maybe give that a go :-)
 
Lots of men event & SJ so if you want to meet other male riders, perhaps you should expand your competitive horizons!
 
Men who ride tend to be competitive and successful, and if they are not, they move on and do other things. (OK, OK not 100% I know, this is a generalisation). So you will find more men at the top end of the sport, whereas women are more content to bob around at the lower ends, and see riding as a pastime, rather than something to compete in.

Think about the top in show jumping, dressage, eventing, racing - nearly all men after all. OP I go occasionally to Western Events and there are a lot more men around, both helping, riding and instructing. I suspect it is the macho cowboy image that "allows" them to be seen wearing jeans and leather chaps.
 
Orangehorse said:
Men who ride tend to be competitive and successful, and if they are not, they move on and do other things. (OK, OK not 100% I know, this is a generalisation). So you will find more men at the top end of the sport, whereas women are more content to bob around at the lower ends, and see riding as a pastime, rather than something to compete in.

Think about the top in show jumping, dressage, eventing, racing - nearly all men after all. OP I go occasionally to Western Events and there are a lot more men around, both helping, riding and instructing. I suspect it is the macho cowboy image that "allows" them to be seen wearing jeans and leather chaps.
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I think you're right. Definitely see a lot more men in the higher levels.

I'd still love to see more men doing it for pleasure though however, it probably does go against their nature especially here in the UK. Is it the same in US? I hear of a lot more men pleasure riding in western just like you say.
 
Just in agreement with everyone else really. We are the minority. I don't compete at all yet. When I'm no longer content with being a happy hacker I will start xc but for now I am happy jumping logs in the woods
 
Lots of men go hunting too, but during the week the fields tend to be more female as their husbands are at work making a living! Of course, the keen hunting men will take holiday days to be able to hunt, and there are hunting farmers who can hunt during the winter, or other self employed people or business owners who make time.
 
It would be nice to see chaps at the local shows - apart from the boys on their ponies being led by mum, it's predominantly girls :D
 
It's hard work for gay/bisexual men to meet a like minded person in any case, let alone in the equestrian world. The majority of the male riders I know are actually straight! But I don't know that many to be fair.
Male only riding club would be a fab idea!
 
This is an interesting topic :) I only know two male riders and one is gay and one is straight.. As a lesbian rider though I haven't come across any other lesbian riders, though statistically you'd think there'd be some :P
 
I know plenty of gay men who hunt, show jump, event and compete in dressage ..... and several lesbian women who mainly hunt and do dressage....

My OH hunts throughout the week, and we find it depends on the pack - the hard hunting packs (lots of running and jumping) tend to have more men out, regardless of the day of the week. The "softer" more social packs do tend to have more women out mid-week (although they tend to disappear around school run time lol!)
 
Just an observation. I have always found the equestrian world to be the most "inclusive" with regard to sexual orientation, so I am surprised that some folk have problems meeting like minded souls. It does beg the question as to how miserable the lives must be of non horsey folk of an unorthodox orientation!
 
I always feel like the only gay in the village when I go out to dressage and I never see other guys out riding locally .... not that it happens very often (doing dressage) I am not a fan of prancing about on or off the horse :) (actually I am quiet homophobic I confess!)

It does always strike me as strange as to where all the men are because at competitions (higher level/ county etc) it can be a real male dominated place .. but day to day they just seem to be none existent!
 
Sweeping generalisation alert.... may be because men "tend" to be more competitive, regardless of their sexual orientation, that they don't waste time at the lower levels of competition, and stay at home training, until they're good enough to compete at the higher levels..... or buy themselves better horses to start with, with their statistically speaking, higher paid jobs.

Maybe the few men who choose to ride and compete are generally more talented than their female counterparts??

Also IME, men who ride "tend" to prefer competition/hunting to the whole stable management/mucking out/grooming side of it.... so maybe the men you see at higher levels have a better back up team at home? I can't think of a single male rider of my acquaintance, of either persuasion, who is interested in yard work etc - most of them can't plait for instance. I know very few female riders who can't plait.....

Bit off topic OP but just thoughts that occurred overnight.
 
Wish I had a team!!! I do pretty much everything, OH only just about manages to feed, putting a rug on seems beyond him and asking him to help out once with the farrier is somethig I will never repeat! Bless him
 
spacefaer said:
Also IME, men who ride "tend" to prefer competition/hunting to the whole stable management/mucking out/grooming side of it.... so maybe the men you see at higher levels have a better back up team at home? I can't think of a single male rider of my acquaintance, of either persuasion, who is interested in yard work etc - most of them can't plait for instance. I know very few female riders who can't plait.....
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I think you have something there.
I always went to the yard to do what was needed and nothing else. If I wasn't riding the whole trip could be 30 minutes inc mucking out, feeding etc. My riding was focussed, socialising or spend hours at the yard playing ponies didn't interest me. I rode to compete and everything was geared to doing so to the best of my ability. Hacking was for fitness work, not a relaxed wander around the country side. Schooling was to work on issues holding back comp success.
Therefore I tended to ride when I would have the school to myself, hacked alone mostly unless someone wanted to go on a fastish hack. Don't get me wrong, loved every minute of being around horses and he horses welfare was paramount but the time spent was focussed rather than a means of relaxing.
Last 10 years or so were spent riding for owners which was pretty much perfect for me.
 
spacefaer said:
Also IME, men who ride "tend" to prefer competition/hunting to the whole stable management/mucking out/grooming side of it.... so maybe the men you see at higher levels have a better back up team at home? I can't think of a single male rider of my acquaintance, of either persuasion, who is interested in yard work etc - most of them can't plait for instance. I know very few female riders who can't plait.....
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I don't especially like competing and have never been interested in hunting.

I enjoy mucking out. I don't class plaiting as yard work though. Yard work is stuff you have to do (feed, beds, water, etc.). Plaiting is a frippery you choose to do. I can do it, I just choose not to as I think horses look daft.
 
Over here they had to put on specific ladies classes cause there were so many men. Mostly farmer types who have a few hunter and tb/ids.
 
I am male and I am not gay. However, I did know a gay male riding instructor years back and he was the most horrible man (not because he was gay, just his general manner!)...Glad I don't ride there anyone.
:eek3:
 
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