'Gelling' With Your New Horse

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Cheshire Chestnut

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How long did it take you to 'gel' or 'bond' with your horse? I don't mean fall in love with him/her, I mean so you are confident that you know your horse inside out and you have a good understanding of him/her. Like a full on partnership, if that makes sense?
 
Three-ish months for me, I've had her for nearly 9 months now and nothing has changed after the first three months of figuring each other out. I know what she likes/dislikes, when she's bored etc and I would say she trusts me:) That being said I do learn different things about her every now and again like how she doesn't like the smell of saddle soap and god forbid clean tack has to touch her:rolleyes:
 
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flurryjuno said:
Three-ish months for me, I've had her for nearly 9 months now and nothing has changed after the first three months of figuring each other out. I know what she likes/dislikes, when she's bored etc and I would say she trusts me:) That being said I do learn different things about her every now and again like how she doesn't like the smell of saddle soap and god forbid clean tack has to touch her:rolleyes:
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Take it she's called Juno? I had a mare called Juno 8 years ago and she was my horse of a lifetime, I lost her two years ago this Christmas and miss her just as much today as I did the day she died. She took about 18 months to gel with though, she was a TBX chestnut mare (need I say more?!) with a very active brain! Got a 6 year old Welsh D gelding now and I've had him since July, I think we are just starting to 'bond' properly now. Hopefully :)
 
It took me well over a year . . . I loved him straight away, but it took time to really get to know him and for him to trust me.

P
 
It took me a year with my late mare. She was not easy and it took her a long time to trust. She was always very friendly though. My new girl is completely different. She's only two, but seems very self confident and calm. She is less spooky to lead to and from the field than all of the others that have been here years! But I feel it will be a few months before I really get to know her. She is just so good I am wondering when it is going to change? She is a WB x TB after all!
 
Two years to really get to know each other and for me not to be nervous at all when riding (I had bad previous experiences) - three years in and we know and trust each other completely. We were both holding a little bit back from each other but that is no longer the case.
 
Cheshire Chestnut said:
Take it she's called Juno? I had a mare called Juno 8 years ago and she was my horse of a lifetime, I lost her two years ago this Christmas and miss her just as much today as I did the day she died. She took about 18 months to gel with though, she was a TBX chestnut mare (need I say more?!) with a very active brain! Got a 6 year old Welsh D gelding now and I've had him since July, I think we are just starting to 'bond' properly now. Hopefully :)
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Yep! When I went to see her we just clicked it was so weird, I spend a lot of time with her just doing nothing so that helped a lot. A lot of people don't believe me when I say it was so quick but she really is 'my' horse, and we bonded so fast. I'd been really ill for a few weeks and rode her for the first time in ages yesterday and she was brill, maybe its a Juno thing but I'd say she's gonna be my horse of a lifetime:D
 
Pretty much straight away. She was the most straight forward 4 year old who I felt as safe as houses on. After my dirty stop, mad to hack, tb mare being a little green and joggy was nothing. I knew as soon as I rode her at her first go as you please for YO- I wasn't looking for a horse but asked to buy her the next day. Bliss to go any where and do anything without thinking twice.
 
I've had Elvis for a year, but I don't think we are 100% there yet, I love him more than anything, and on the ground I know him 100%, whereas ridden it's still a work in progress, it hasn't helped he's had so much time off for injuries, I reckon another 12 months and we'll be there.
 
About a year to fully work each other out, and for me to really get to know him and predict how he was going to react/cope with things. Was a shame as we only had one more year after that before i had to put everything horsey on hold for wedding/work commitments. :(
 
With my black cob - spent the first 6 mnths hating him/being terrified off him, but 4 years on he is my best 'horsey' mate and wouldn't swap him for the world...

Our new cob - gelled within a matter of weeks, and 4 mnths on am still waiting for him to put a hoof wrong....

I hunt them both and there is nothing like it for strengthening a bond and gaining mutual trust. I also figure if I can survive the first days hunting on a new horse, the rest comes easy!
 
9 months to know I had bought the right horse for me but I think we are still bonding and getting to know each other (I've had her for just over a year).
 
Not quick with the 'quirky Connemara' but he trust me with his life 4 years later! Just got a 2 year old WB recently gelded... We are bonded he will let me do anything within reason.... Love him, love them both... I think they know if you love them and that brings trust. Hope my new boy doesn't keep growing already 16 hands... at just 2...!!!
 
Cheshire Chestnut said:
How long did it take you to 'gel' or 'bond' with your horse? I don't mean fall in love with him/her, I mean so you are confident that you know your horse inside out and you have a good understanding of him/her. Like a full on partnership, if that makes sense?
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2 years in and we are still learning!

We had a good partnership after a year (not helped by time off with injury within 6 weeks of purchase and saddle trouble) but I would say 6-8 months minimum.
 
I think I'm finally starting to 'click' with my boy.
It's been a tough one though as I backed him for a friend and then ended up buying him so our partnership and trust has been growing along with his education!
 
Delighted with these replies as I don't feel so bad now. I have had my lad since end of March 2012 and love him to bits but we have been through The trial of Kissing Spine so I loved him for 5 months and then spent time getting to know a rehab horse who had a different personality. We are coming out the other end now I love him to bits but am still trying to understand him.
 
Elvis said:
I've had Elvis for a year, but I don't think we are 100% there yet, I love him more than anything, and on the ground I know him 100%, whereas ridden it's still a work in progress, it hasn't helped he's had so much time off for injuries, I reckon another 12 months and we'll be there.
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This is exactly how I am with my girl sounds exactly same story. Still working on it. With my older boy I rode him for 2 years before buying him but would say wasn't until he was mine that we truly bonded.
So glad reading this that it can take up to 2 years as sometimes think me and mare will never fully click x
 
It took about 15 months for me and my mare to start to gel but in the past few months things have started to fall into place. I have heard that mares take longer to bond, but it is a stronger bond than with geldings. Here is hoping.
 
I'd say about a year to get to know and learn to respect each other, and also to trust each other. I felt after that all clicked into place we became a team that could conquer stuff together which is the greatest feeling in the world. Since then I have constantly learned New stuff and it never ceases to amaze me how the bond still deepens all the time when faced with different situations ie. Illness, operations and recuperation recently were she has trusted me so much. It's amazing!! At the same time she plays me like a fiddle at times to get her own way. Not great but she does it cos she knows she can!!! :-)
 
Gazen said:
It took about 15 months for me and my mare to start to gel but in the past few months things have started to fall into place. I have heard that mares take longer to bond, but it is a stronger bond than with geldings. Here is hoping.
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I second this - it took about 18 months with my late mare but our bond was amazing in the end, I know it sounds cheesey but it was one of those where her legs felt like my legs. I miss her and don't think I can find a bond like that again anywhere. I have a gelding now and although we still have bonding to do, I don't think it will be as strong in the end as it was with my mare. But that's just geldings in my opinion - they are more upfront and what you see is what you get, nothing massively deep with them! Sometimes that's a good thing though :)

These posts have reassured me though that these things can't be rushed and me and my boy still have a bit to go yet - nice to know the best is yet to come :) *touches wood*
 
flurryjuno said:
Three-ish months for me, I've had her for nearly 9 months now and nothing has changed after the first three months of figuring each other out. I know what she likes/dislikes, when she's bored etc and I would say she trusts me:) That being said I do learn different things about her every now and again like how she doesn't like the smell of saddle soap and god forbid clean tack has to touch her:rolleyes:
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If you are using old fashioned saddle soap it may be non veggie, my boy could not tolerate any animal product.
PS it took him about two weeks to suss me out, and it took me two years to suss him out........ but then it was fascinating, yet frustrating to predict his behaviours. He once spoke to me!!!
I have heard of this before, wonder if anyone else has had such an experience?
 
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