Getting a puppy when not everyone in the house is keen?

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Bix

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I've always wanted a dog, my husband does not. He's finally caved and said I can have one but he wants nothing to do with it. He won't walk it, feed it etc etc. That's fine in itself, it will be my dog, I want to be the sole carer, but I can see there being issues along the way. Right from the start it will make toilet training difficult: hubby stays up much later than me, on the computer in the kitchen where the dog will sleep, meaning I can't settle the puppy down for the night as hubby will still be there and he won't take pup out for final wee etc.

This is just one issue at the start and I'm worried about what else will crop up. Do you think it's doable? Have any of you been in a similar situation?
 
My husband loves our dogs, but to be honest I feed them and walk them and pick up the poo. Your husband does not sound like he is being very reasonable if you think he wouldn't even let the puppy out for a wee before he goes upstairs. I'd like to say - very few people can ignore a puppy - because they are high on the cute factor, but if he hates dogs, it could make your life miserable.
 
Hmm, difficult one. Depends on your husband and his tolerence levels. The puppy will have accidents, it will chew and scratch things it shouldn't. It may cry when left initially. It may dig holes in the garden and shake its muddy paws and coat over the walls.

Then, dog hair finds its way over all clothes that have never been near a dog. Particularly your husband favourite black fleece/jumper/suit.

You will need to find a dog sitter if you go out for a long day trip in the summer, away for a weekend, a holiday..

Your husbands life will be affected in some way.

My husband didn't want a dog. The children and I did. Husband was out voted and reluctantly agreed to having an RSPCA rescue. I came home from working my night duty, to find the dog asleep on top of my husband on the sofa.
He then claimed getting a dog was his idea.:rolleyes:

Husband said 'no more dogs. One is enough.'

So got a small terrier pup from RSPCA and told him it was a cat.

He was a long suffering man.:o
 
Not a good idea IMO, sorry. Apart from anything else, you will both need to be involved in training the dog or your husband will end up not being able to do anything with it at all - which will not be great when you are not there. Things will get chewed, there will be poo and wee on the floor, there will be noise at night, it will cost a lot of money (vets bills for vaccinations etc plus any emergencies, food, equipment like beds and bowls, training classes), it will take a lot of time, and you will only get out what you put in.

I don't think it's fair on a dog to bring it to a place where it sounds like it may be resented for being a dog, or particularly fair to force someone to live with a dog that doesn't want to.
 
He wouldn't have got past the first date with me :p

He might come round.

But sounds a bit inflexible TBH :( isn't it supposed to be about partnership? Shared interests? Helping each other?
 
I've been there!

OH was brought up with no animals except a goldfish! When he first met my horse he would only look at him over the fence!!

I lost my horse nearly 3 years ago and it tore me apart (We had been married 5 years at that point) and a few months after I decided that was it I wanted a dog! I'd always wanted one, but OH had refused for a million reasons (although he was also broken by the loss of my horse who he'd grown to love and also came to my wedding!) and had compromised with a rabbit. I went on and on and on and eventually he caved, but it was very much MY dog. When we chose Harley he came, was fine, but wasn't very "into" the decision.

However by the time we went to bed that night he was TOTALLY smitten!!! ha ha! He absolutely dotes on that dog and spoils him rotten. If he ever sleeps in the spare room I always go in and find the dog in the bed with him! He know REALLY wants another and I'm the one who's not so sure. He works very long hours and the dog is with me all day and I'm concernced about the extra stress up the yard keeping tabs on 2! I expect we will though!! ha ha!
 
CaveCanem said:
He wouldn't have got past the first date with me :p

He might come round.

But sounds a bit inflexible TBH :( isn't it supposed to be about partnership? Shared interests? Helping each other?
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Exactly.

Tell him to get a grip and to stop being such an arse!
 
Part of me feels that he may soften with time / be sucked in by puppy-cuteness once pup is here. He is secretly quite fond of my sister-in-law's lab who comes to stay with us whenever they go away: he'll feed him, let him out, give him the odd cuddle. But a dog here for a visit is a different matter to a permanent resident member of the family. And my husband is SO stubborn - 100% Taurean! - and so I don't want to let myself get carried away with that hope.
So far your replies have filled me with hope and smashed that hope down again lol. Argh!
 
Get rid of OH and get the puppy.

I can't see how it would be fair on anyone, puppy included if your OH is and will remain very anti. Puppy will approach him looking for friendship so what if he bats it away ? You will be stressed if puppy does anything to annoy OH which in all fairness if going to happen.

No dog IMHO should join a household where not everyone is fully committed. What if you become ill etc need to go away who will take care of the dog.
 
There is a big difference between a fully grown and trained lab, and a little puppy too as I'm sure you'll know - the disruption pups might make it harder for him to accept a puppy. Perhaps an adult dog would be an acceptable compromise for you both? A retired greyhound could be the ticket perhaps - generally quiet and sensible dogs when in the house, that like people. Some of the rehoming organisations will have them housetrained - others won't, but you could look into this.
 
Good plan Spud - sorry for commenting on your relationship OP, it is none of my business but I am done with people who cannot even feign interest in what is essentially a hugely important part of my life.
/rant :o
 
Personally, I wouldnt sell a pup to a family where not everyone wanted it. Your husband sounds very inflexible. Do you think he will change if you got a pup or is he the type that will stick to his guns and really have nothing to do with it? If so I really dont think its a good idea. How about ditch the OH and then get a puppy?!
 
I put a post on here last Sept time, i had 4 dogs and had asked OH for a 5th , i compete agility and showing etc so this is my life , it's what i chose to do , OH said no way !! it took 4 months for him to decide on his terms that we could have another, he is smitten with the border collie with currently had, i asked him to come to Bristol with us when we went to collect the pup , i wanted him to be involved [ made out i did'nt want to drive on the m25 ] . Who is now totally obsessed with the pup ? he is , you may find he will be fine, believe me my hubby was so against i thought i was fighting a losing battle, i do suggesrt though that you make sure you enrole in puppy training classes . one of the reasons i have 5 dogs is that they are all trained and very well behaved if they were unruly it could be a very different situation , best of luck and keep us posted .
 
He has said that he would drive me to view puppies and then to collect, but that is because I don't like driving and havnt done a long journey for years, so is to help me out as opposed to "getting involved in the dog thing".
I dunno, I'm trying to think through realistically how things might play out with a dog in the house. He's not going to 'bat away' a puppy, he's not cruel, I can't see him even completely ignoring it to be honest which means he's going to have to acknowledge the puppy that's excitedly greeting him as he arrives home from work.
I also know he's going to love seeing our sons happiness enjoying 'their' puppy - he's already said he knows how much they'd love having a dog.
But then this is me thinking positively and I need to think of practicalities.

And I don't want to be selfish to force him to live in a way that doesn't make him (or the puppy) happy.

Maisiemoo, what tactics did you use to 'turn him' over those 4 months? Lol
 
Every Husband/Boyfriend i have known to act like this has ended up being totally devoted and in love to the new member of the family despite saying noo for years upon years, the fact he has finally agreed makes me think he'll prob be the same and its all just words....BUT....If he doesn't then you are going to have one hell of an issue on your hands and may end up having to make a choice between Dog and hubby!! as much as i would have pups everytime we are all well aware this cannot always be the case :(

I think only you know how he is likey to react and if you think you and the cuteness of the puppy can win him over?

Good luck and Hope you do manage it happily. :D
 
CaveCanem said:
Good plan Spud - sorry for commenting on your relationship OP, it is none of my business but I am done with people who cannot even feign interest in what is essentially a hugely important part of my life.
/rant :o
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Hear hear. :p

Don't get me wrong, my OH isn't nearly as invested in the dogs as I am, he absolutely will not do the training classes, the money spent on expensive gear, the driving long distances and sleeping in soggy tents to compete and so on but he is still extremely fond of them and will do the basic walks, feeding, poo picking and puke cleaning.

He doesn't have anything to do with the horse but that's a gripe for another day. :rolleyes:

It is absolutely impossible to totally ignore the presence of a dog in the house. They smell, a pup will pee/poo/puke/chew, there will be dog paraphernalia everywhere. When you can't leave the bathroom due to norovirus, someone will have to take the dog out for you.

To use a Mumsnet staple phrase, leave the barsteward. Get a dog. :p
 
OH doesn't do anything with the dogs or horses, I do all the walking, exercising, feeding, grooming, vets, cleaning, etc. and have to keep on top of worming, vaccinations, flea treatment, teeth, etc. which is all quite a bit of work, but he does love them so it's not a problem.

I suppose the question is: will your OH be happy to interact with the puppy but leave all the work to you, or will he not even want the puppy around? I suspect it's the former (given his reaction to your sister's dog and his willingness to go look at puppies, plus the cuteness factor of a puppy), in which case it will be fine - go for it!
 
Agree with leaving the sod and getting a dog :D It's one heck of a gamble to take if he doesn't warm to it.

I think Spudlet's suggestion of a retired greyhound is excellent. Would be a lot less of a gamble, imo.

blackcob said:
When you can't leave the bathroom due to norovirus, someone will have to take the dog out for you.
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That's an oddly specific choice of incapacitation. Have you been at a crystal ball or is it a threat :eek: :D
 
JFTD said:
That's an oddly specific choice of incapacitation. Have you been at a crystal ball or is it a threat :eek: :D
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Been there, done that. :p Such was the extremity of the illness that I was being passed glasses of dioralyte through the bathroom door as I literally couldn't leave the loo.

Good job OH was there to walk the dogs or they would have been crapping themselves too. :p
 
BC speaks true, I would have been in a right mess when I was stuck in bed ill earlier this year if my diamond bloke hadn't been willing to drive an hour home from work and go straight back out into the howling gale and darkness to exercise the spud! No way I could have done it, the poor little sod would have been climbing the walls:o
 
blackcob said:
Been there, done that. :p Such was the extremity of the illness that I was being passed glasses of dioralyte through the bathroom door as I literally couldn't leave the loo.

Good job OH was there to walk the dogs or they would have been crapping themselves too. :p
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that's pretty grim :eek:
 
You did ask. :p

Let this serve as a warning to the OP, there will be a time when you will be cleaning up poo, though hopefully not your own. This will also happen at the most inopportune time.

Ricoh once crapped in the spare room when we had a guest staying in it - he has never, ever, before or since, pooed in the house. Poor guest woke up nose to nose with Dax, who was very pleased that she'd managed to creep onto the usually forbidden bed, then got up to find a massive Ricoh log on the floor. :o

Then there was the time D had been eating lots of long grass and stopped to try and poo it out just as the big local walking group was going past, when the stringy grass got stuck she proceeded to spin round and round and howl, I had to grasp it with a dock leaf and pull it out for her. 20+ walkers passed by tutting in disgust.

I have many poo related stories. :D
 
Depends how much time you can give to your new pups … I would struggle personally/wouldn’t have gotten one if we didn’t both want the dog equally … I was lucky in that I could take him to work with me until he was a few months old but now I take him out for his first wee (about 5.30) before I go to the farm, my fiancé then takes him out for an hour playing in the moors (around 8), he then is at home on his own (with my mother grandma sitting at lunch most days), then I come home around 5.30 pick him up and take him up to the farm for an hour/two … then he goes out again before bed time …. He’s now 8 months old but when he was tiny it was literally like having a baby and needed constant training/socialisation… at weekends you need someone to look after him if you’re staying out …
Ive decided we’re putting my mare into foal next month and after speaking to my fiancé, he said fine as long as we can get another dog … deal done! :cool:
 
Henry did the long grass thing once.

In the middle of town.

Right outside a bakers.

Where people were sitting outside eating as it was a lovely day.






















I win.:D
 
Not going to try and compete with the poo stories :D, but would agree that if OH is totally anti getting a pup it is a risk going ahead. Pups do cause major disruption for the first few months, and in fact a dog does change your whole routine for life, no spontaneous days out or weekends away, without plans being made for the dog. I would try and talk to him some more before you go any further and explain to him that he would have to be involved to some extent and is he prepared to be.
 
This certainly has taken an interesting turn :p. I have 2 kids so cleaning up disgusting substances is nothing new and tbh if hubby complained about that I'd remind him of some of the yucky things his offspring have produced! I doubt any dog could produce anything worse (in a par I'm sure but not worse!).
The time thing also is not an issue, I'm a stay-at-home mum, doing occasional work from home so have plenty of time to spend with pup (training it into a model dog that hubby couldn't fail to love!)

The walking it when I'm I'll thin I'd certainly a worry tho :(
 
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