Getting back in the saddle after my boy was PTS

dibbin

dibbin

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I'm going to sit on a horse tomorrow, for the first time since Dylan first went lame 6 weeks ago (he was PTS 3 weeks ago). I'm excited and bricking it at the same time, and I'm eternally grateful to my friend G who's bringing her mare from her yard to ours so I can have a go in the arena. So wish me luck! I may need it, her mare hasn't been ridden for 4 weeks :S

Thing is, I'd like to get another one of my own, but my dad (who paid Dylan's livery, and pays for my sister's horse) thinks I should wait 6 months until I move in with my OH. Since Dylan was PTS, I've sat about doing nothing and it's making me totally miserable because I feel like the whole structure of my life has disappeared - we were on DIY livery, so my time was basically organised round my horse, and I don't have that anymore. I think getting another one would give me a) something to do, and b) something to focus on other than the fact I've lost my best friend :( a few people have offered me their horses to ride, which is lovely of them, but it's not the same as having that bond with your own horse.

Sorry, that turned into a bit of a self-pitying ramble x
 
I know exactly how you feel. i got my guy PTS after 27 years, and even though I hadn't been able to ride him due to his illness, I still missed riding and having a horse. I just felt like I was missing a part of my life.

Long story short, ended up getting another horse a few months ago, even though it was completely illogical at the time due to time and money constraints. Best thing I ever did, i just love having a horse again so much. i had gone for lessons but it wasn't the same. Life's too short and if you really want something you should go for it! I don't regret it for a sec!
 
I know where you are coming from Dibbin...I haven't had my own since I lost my lad and I am now only just about to get one....It's been awful not having something to do...I too was on DIY and to have it suddenly taken away you do feel useless...I actually went down hill and all depressed in myself as horses were and are part of my life I've gained a ton of weight too that I am now trying to shift.

I hope you have lots of fun having a ride tomorrow, take it you know your friends mare well?
It's always nerve wracking getting back on another horse I found anyway....
Can you not ride some of the horses offered at least until you get your own again? Give you something to concertrate on too...
 
That's great of your friend to do that. Best of luck - hopefully her mare isn't too fresh!

Do you know where you'll be living with your OH in 6 months, and that the finances are ok? If so, then there's nothing stopping you from looking now if the only thing due to change is quite literally your address. It takes time to find the right horse anyway - you could have one in a week or it might takes months anyway! If it's more complicated than that, you could always loan/share until you're settled in with your OH?

No matter what you do, I'm sorry to hear your boy was pts, and I hope you get some direction and smiles back into your life and your time soon 80)
 
Its very hard when you feel that you are sat around and such a huge part of your life is gone for ever. However, I would give yourself time to grieve. I got a new pony in much too quickly after my old girl died because I basically panicked at the thought of not having a horse to run around after and it was a disaster. I'm not saying this will happen to you but give yourself a bit of space. I do know what you mean though about not being able to bond - its a horrible feeling.
 
I've not ridden my friend's mare before, but she's seen me ride quite a few times and seems to think I'll be fine :)

I have been offered a few by friends at the yard where I kept Dylan, and of course dad keeps saying I can ride my sister's new ISH any time I want, but it just won't be the same as having my own. When Dylan was off with an injured check ligament a couple of years ago, I rode my friend's lovely WB, who is an absolute dream to ride ... and all I wanted was to be back on my own stubborn, loony horse!

Edenside - I'm moving to the other side of the country with him when I finish uni in May, and I've already been to look at yards and everything (I'd been looking for somewhere for Dylan over there, as far back as September!) Loaning is definitely an idea, my friend who's bringing her mare over has said that she doesn't really have time to ride both of hers at the moment, so if we get along then that might be an option.

indiat - I understand what you're saying about time to grieve, Dylan was probably the biggest part of my life for the seven and a half years that I had him; but when my first horse was PTS we got Dylan within a month (I think it was 3 weeks exactly), and I remember it helped because I had something else to think about, if you know what I mean.
 
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Please also allow yourself to grieve too but if that means you getting a new horse to help then do so.

I had a mare also at the time who was on box rest and I continued to do her which did help as she was also grieving the loss.

I have had the time out to reflect on what I actually want to do and what kind of horse I want next and not to rush into the 1st thing that came along....I haven't been looking in the market for quite some years so I feel like a novice doing it again tbh...

Take your time if you need to....
 
I think perhaps getting back in the saddle may help with your grieving process. I know when my dog died it helped to get another one to cuddle with, although you know they will never replace the one you loved so much. A new, happy soul may bring your spirits up. However, waiting six months may not be too bad either because by then you will know that you have grieved for your loss.

I feel for you and wish you luck. I'm very sorry about your boy
 
I rode! And the mare was lovely, I lunged her for 5 minutes, her owner rode her, then I got on. She was impeccably behaved the whole time, which I thought was quite impressive for a chestnut mare who hadn't been ridden in 4 weeks :p I've said I'll go up and ride her again, and I think there is a possibility of taking her on loan if I decide I want to.

I'm quite pleased, as I've finally got out of the house and feel more like myself than I have since Dylan was put down.
 
Its hard getting back in the saddle after you've lost a friend; I know how hard this will have been for you - for me, it almost felt like (the equivalent of) having sex with a stranger on a one-night stand after having been in a loving relationship, that's how weird it felt to get on another horse.

Good for you! Sending you lots of vibes for the "right" horse to come along for you.

I had a really good piece of advice from my farrier when I had my old boy PTS; he said not to try and find something the same as what you've lost, coz you won't, but to go for something completely different. Good advice. I had a steady bay and have, somehow or other!, ended up with a cobby piebald!

Go for it. Good luck and happy hunting.
 
MiJodsR2BlinkinTite said:
I had a really good piece of advice from my farrier when I had my old boy PTS; he said not to try and find something the same as what you've lost, coz you won't, but to go for something completely different. Good advice. I had a steady bay and have, somehow or other!, ended up with a cobby piebald!

Go for it. Good luck and happy hunting.
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Oddly enough, that's exactly what I did when my first one was PTS, I went from a totally safe, steady 4yo piebald cob to a mad, whizzy 8yo TBX. Best decision I ever made :)
 
I lost my mare nearly 3 years ago, I'd had her 13 years and she was my first horse, I quite literally hero worshipped her. I had two others at the same time, and I was a bit like a zombie first few weeks, going through the motions but that was it. I hadn't and never did bond with those two the way I did with Gem, (one was her foal) though I loved them both. It just wasn't the same. When Karen and I bought Bob between us at an auction I'd never even imagined he'd be a keeper or that I'd feel the same strength of bond I felt with Gem a year down the line, but I do. It took two years to find him, and I wasn't even looking. They are the same in many respects and are similar size and build, they both crib bite and both got written off my many. Maybe I'm a sucker for a sob story but just tonight I was thinking how lucky I was to have found another 'one in a million' in Bob, I never thought I'd find it again, though I could never have been without a horse.
 
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