Getting cold feet about my horse.. What should I do ? Is it too late?

So your also worried she may steal your horse?!

Isn't this just a tad ridiculous? I'm sorry OP but if I couldn't trust my loaner to use my stuff, hack out alone or thought my horse may be stolen then there's no way I'd be continuing this loan!

There's zero trust here whatsoever, it's clear you don't trust this woman or her intentions and that defeats the whole point of the loan...

I'd end it now tbh I feel bad for the loaner as it appears she's done nothing wrong but it's not going to work if your worrying all the time or need a txt a every time she wants to hack...
 
OP I would insist on riding out together for two or three times before signing contracts - to make sure that you get on. That way you won't be dismissing a potentially good sharer on a feeling. Two of my best friends in life were people that I quite strongly disliked when I first met them. If thats what I'd gone off I would have missed out on two great friends for the last two decades..
 
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risky business said:
So your also worried she may steal your horse?!

Isn't this just a tad ridiculous? I'm sorry OP but if I couldn't trust my loaner to use my stuff, hack out alone or thought my horse may be stolen then there's no way I'd be continuing this loan!

There's zero trust here whatsoever, it's clear you don't trust this woman or her intentions and that defeats the whole point of the loan...

I'd end it now tbh I feel bad for the loaner as it appears she's done nothing wrong but it's not going to work if your worrying all the time or need a txt a every time she wants to hack...
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Oh shut up, the poor OP has been taken to task by a lot of old bitches with nothing else to do but take her posts, examine them and pull her replies to shreds. I hate mob mentality and this is what this thread is becoming. Have you nothing better to do, horrible people.
 
IME re riders that they all are different. I have advertised in the past for someone to ride my OH's horse through the week. They also get chance to go along to local RC stuff lessons and compete on him if they wish. However, I state at the beginning that I will always accompany them at first until I know them (and gives me time to assess their capabilites,horse & common sense) and also make sure that the horse is happy with them. If things are not right, I pull the plug. Like you, I do not charge them so they don't have any say in what happens and they are riding initially when it suits me.

Once I am 100% happy with them and know that my OH's horse is fine with them, then I relax things. I tend to find that you generally get a feel for someone in the first few times if they will work or not.

The current lady who is riding my OH's horse is great and I found her by word of mouth rather than an advert. She keeps one of my spare bridles and I often will give her my GP saddle to take home and use if I am not going to be about when she rides. I would be wary of doing this from the start with someone that I didn't know. It is a give and take and sometimes takes a little time to complete trust and longer if you have had bad experiences.

I'd give the girl a chance but state that you want to ensure things are going the right way and say you wish to ride out with her this first time as been a number of months and you will occasionally do so in the next while.

Gate key etc... should naturally follow when the trust comes.

I am not sure of the exactly history with you and this sharer but I probably would have made sure she was the right one before allowing her to purchase tack etc.... that way if it doesn't work out you are not having to pay for the tack she bought for your horse.

If you pull the plug, I would offer to buy the tack she has bought if it genuinely fits your horse so you can then give that to your next rider so they don't have to go through the same thing.

Best of luck and hope it works out for both of you.
 
Jnhuk said:
IME re riders that they all are different. I have advertised in the past for someone to ride my OH's horse through the week. They also get chance to go along to local RC stuff lessons and compete on him if they wish. However, I state at the beginning that I will always accompany them at first until I know them (and gives me time to assess their capabilites,horse & common sense) and also make sure that the horse is happy with them. If things are not right, I pull the plug. Like you, I do not charge them so they don't have any say in what happens and they are riding initially when it suits me.

Once I am 100% happy with them and know that my OH's horse is fine with them, then I relax things. I tend to find that you generally get a feel for someone in the first few times if they will work or not.



I'd give the girl a chance but state that you want to ensure things are going the right way and say you wish to ride out with her this first time as been a number of months and you will occasionally do so in the next while.

Gate key etc... should naturally follow when the trust comes.

I am not sure of the exactly history with you and this sharer but I probably would have made sure she was the right one before allowing her to purchase tack etc.... that way if it doesn't work out you are not having to pay for the tack she bought for your horse.

If you pull the plug, I would offer to buy the tack she has bought if it genuinely fits your horse so you can then give that to your next rider so they don't have to go through the same thing.

Best of luck and hope it works out for both of you.
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Exactly what we did with my husband's horse's sharer. It took nearly six months before she went off alone (she is very small and was very novice on a horse that is huge). She was fine with that and we still ride out together a lot as we get on great.
 
I'm sorry justabob I didn't realise HH consisted of only being allowed to reply if you approved :rolleyes: you have no right to tell others to shut up because its not going your way...

I wasn't 'ripping to OP to shreads'.. I was stating if she cannot trust this woman's intentions for the horse or possessions she should call it off!

OP has said several times she gets a bad vibe and that to me is enough to call it off!

Loaner technically hasn't done anything wrong like I said but that doesn't stop OP worrying now does it...

Yes loaner has bought tack but you said she shouldn't until you know her so I guess it's her problem to deal with.
 
^^ I'm in agreement with risky. I think there are too many doubts in your head now op for it to work.

Also why the rude remarks justabob??
 
tinap said:
^^ I'm in agreement with risky. I think there are too many doubts in your head now op for it to work.

Also why the rude remarks justabob??
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Because some of the replies have been less than polite and of a mob handed attitude........thats why.
 
Haven't read all of this but I do remember the post months ago; thought the situation was unusual but hey ho it's your horse so your call.

I think you are probably overthinking and worrying without much to base it on OP, nowt wrong with that but I think you should just tell the lady 'sorry, I wasn't asking' and that it will just be to see that the horse behaves safely after his break. I should think she probably is looking forward to getting on and going out alone but one more day won't hurt nor will another week if you feel you need it, and it will make you feel better.

I take it your other horse isn't ridden?

When I have had shares they have let me try once and pretty much left me to it, which looking back was very trusting but I suppose that was before the days of reading terrible HHO stories! Being cautious is a good thing, but it's not all doom and gloom :-)

I didn't keep the key to my last share, the lady would leave it in a secret place for me to pick up just on the days I was going (and also the key to a tack locker) and then pick the lot up later on. Maybe you could do that to start with if practical.
 
Mia&Vin said:
I stopped reading after the 1st few pages. Made her even buy her own headcollar? Crazy, poor sharer
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Perhaps you should have continued further than the first few pages before posting. I can see that you are going to be a great asset to this forum.:rolleyes:
 
I haven't read all the replies so I am just replying to the OP.

If that was me, personally I'd tell her I have changed my mind on sharing and do not think she is suitable. Not being funny but if a potential sharer turned round to me and said what she said to you (when he is your horse) it would be a big no no from me. At the end of the day I'd want someone I could rely on and trust and someone who respected my decisions when I said so.

What you said about wanting to go out on the first hack with them was perfectly within reason and if someone had suggested that to me it would have been fine. I'd want the owner to see how capable i was and prove I can be trusted. To turn round and go 'no thanks I'd rather go on my own! Oh and when do I get the keys?' Is not the attitude I'd want in a sharer.

But then I'm just blunt and to the point, if I wasn't happy with something or someone, I say and sort it. At the end of the day he is your boy and you call the shots.
 
Your horse, your rules, OP. if sharer wants to contribute anything financially, she can have more of a say. Buying her own tack is a minuscule amount of funding compared to what you are paying.

Your arrangement is unconventional though. I would charge her a monthly fee and buy her some cheap well fitting tack, if you won't give her yours. My sharer just used my wintec. I agree that having all sorts of people to a livery yard is annoying to other liveries. However, as your horse isn't on a livery yard, it should make little difference to you, really, if you think about it.

You have come in for some flack here simply because people are bored and having fun at your expense. This is typical H and H, and the same old faces give the same classically rude script in their writing expression, justifying the rudeness with the same old arguments.
 
justabob said:
Oh shut up, the poor OP has been taken to task by a lot of old bitches with nothing else to do but take her posts, examine them and pull her replies to shreds. I hate mob mentality and this is what this thread is becoming. Have you nothing better to do, horrible people.
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Poor OP? What about the poor sharer, who as far as I can see has done nothing wrong, except get excited about sharing a horse that she's been kept waiting to ride for far too long IMO.

"Poor OP" has publicly stated she doesn't trust her with the tack, and has even said she might even steal the horse!!! I hope this was said in jest, I really do.

If I was the sharer, I'd be saying "I love your horse, I want to show him off to people, I'm even prepared to purchase my own equipment. I've had to wait for two months to start the share through no fault of my own, then I find you've been slagging me off to all and sundry on a public forum, implying I'm untrustworthy. You know what? I don't want this kind of ***** so I think I'll find another horse to share. Find someone else to ride your horse - I'm out of here."
 
I'll have one tinker ;) Ive just logged on this morning to find this is still running!

& justabob can't quote on my phone but I only see 1 person being rude on here & its the one telling people to 'shut up'! Really no need for that. Of course everyone is entitled to an opinion that doesn't match yours ;)
 
tinap said:
I'll have one tinker ;) Ive just logged on this morning to find this is still running!

& justabob can't quote on my phone but I only see 1 person being rude on here & its the one telling people to 'shut up'! Really no need for that. Of course everyone is entitled to an opinion that doesn't match yours ;)
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*Hands over a brew*
Ah forum life, quite hectic isn't it :p:p
 
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