Getting help with your horse

NooNoo59

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Joined
3 December 2011
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1,009
Location
kent
I have a young welsh d, he is lovely but green. When I first got him I had a professional rider schooling him once a week, they now seem to be working with another rider who I do not like or respect as she is hard and rough so I do not want him to go there anymore. There is a lady at our yard who is younger than me and although not an educated rider is quite ballsy and sends them forward without interfering with them. My instructor likes the way she rides as she is quiet but positive. I am now 60 have suffered a major loss of confidence on this horse and I am thinking of asking her to help by riding him, my instructor thinks this is a good idea and will help me and the horse. I am seeing this as a failure on my part as I feel I should be confident enough to do this, I am not a bad rider but am suffering with confidence in my own ability to do this. Has anyone gone down this route and if so has it helped you and the horse? How did it make you feel ? Thanks for any input
 

Ownedby4horses

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Joined
7 May 2020
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489
Location
Denmark
Firstly, I haven’t gone down this route myself but it sounds a very sensible idea.

Never feel that because you don’t have the confidence you are a failure, confidence is an incredibly fragile thing. Could you get your instructor to work with the rider a couple of times, you can then make sure everyone is happy and on the same page as to the direction that you want the horse’s training to go. Once you see your horse picking up confidence and developing further it will give you confidence to get back in the saddle.
 
Joined
24 January 2020
Messages
6
Hi there, I had a bad fall last September and it really knocked my confidence. I had a hard time getting back on and once I did, I was always second guessing myself. I have been riding since I was a child but this is the first time a fall made me feel like this. I struggled until one day I met a trainer in the stable and I asked her for help. She started working with me and my horse but now she also works with my horse alone one day a week. I’m noticing a lot of progress and I’m so happy that I reached out. Is also good to have someone who understands your horse and whom you can discuss various issues with. It’s never a failure to reach out - we all need a little help now and then. Good luck!
 

Ceriann

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Joined
28 June 2012
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1,921
I have felt like you but it is absolutely not a failure or weakness - you are looking to do your best for your horse and for you. I have owned my mare 3 years - until early this year no one else had ridden her during my ownership. I couldn’t keep up the rehab work she needed on my own so I got help. She was all the better for it. We had a disagreement schooling yesterday - I came off. Disagreements are rare for us but I’m sore (and suspect I will be for a good few days) and my confidence, like yours is fragile. I’m going to ask a good sympathetic rider I know (who used to ride professionally) to hop on in a day or so.
 

greenbean10

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Joined
11 May 2019
Messages
171
I regularly get someone to ride my tricky mare as she needs a strong rider and I am not strong enough when she's having one of her days! It doesn't make me feel bad at all. I like seeing other people ride her and find it inspiring that is what I hopefully will be able to do one day. Definitely not failure. There will be horses you can ride that other people can't, and horses you can't ride that other people can. No one is a perfect rider! I notice that when another girl rides my horse she is easier for me the next few days - this is a good thing! She then tells me what she does differently and how I can improve, I don't see this as failure at all, just someone with more confidence helping out someone with less confidence.

I know it's very easy to get stuck, taking everything so seriously but really, it's meant to be fun. I think seeing this other woman ride your horse may make you feel more confident! That is definitely what I found.
 
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