getting my mojo back

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chxxrb

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hi all, i’m looking for some advice
i’ve ridden all my life and competed in BD dressage since i was about 12. I got to a stage where i was training for the GB pony squads when i was 14 but unfortunately had a pony too young for it who, inevitably, didn’t reach the level wishing the time needed as he had too much pressure on him. jump a few months or so later, i got a horse, 16 year old me with a 16.3 7 year old and quite frankly i was overwhelmed - anxiety kicked in, pushy coach/ family members and it came crumbling down and unfortunately that horse ended up passing away unexpectedly.
Jump forward to 2021, i’m now 20 on the little pony i had for the gb pony squads. he had been out of work for a year or so and brought back into work through proper rehab. we have been doing well and working at elementary/ medium and i can feel myself dying to get back out and be competitive again! my only set back is my family potentially. they went through so much sh*t when it was serious and i know for a fact they’d hate me to go back but i can’t shake this feeling… any ideas on how to approach this subject with them that i’m serious about competing again and potentially with another horse that would be more competitive than my little man

thank you!!
 
At 12-16yrs old you would be financially dependent on them.

Now that you are 20 I'd presume that you have a job and income. Use that to finance what you want to do with your horse. It's nice to have your family's support but as an adult they don't have a say.

Work with your trainer in lessons and take guidance from them about when you are ready to go back out. They will probably be best placed to advise on good venues and low pressure ways to dip your toe back in.

Good luck
 
As above. You are a grown up now and independent, if you can organise the situation yourself just go for it.
 
What support do you need from your family? Is it just their moral support/approval to get back out competing or do you need financial support (you mention a new more competitive horse, I am guessing that will not be cheap), financial support for competing and practical support in travelling to competitions?
if it just moral support/approval I think it is just a case of telling them you plan. If you need financial support that is more difficult negotiation,I guess you need some “business plan” of what input you need, what you can put in and what exactly you are asking for from your family. And mostly to demonstrative to them how committed you are to doing this and how important it is to you.
 
they are your parents, tell them how much this means to you, be passionate, tell them this is who you are

talk as if you know where you are going, its sounds like you and the horse need to go out, and are ready, don`t let this chance slip by and grow old and sad!
 
You're old enough now to talk to your family adult to adult. I would explain that, in retrospect, you now understand that you could not cope with the pressure at that stage of your life (who would?;)) but that you feel you now want to have a second go at it. Many people on here have gone back to horses after a considerably longer break for all sorts of different reasons.

They may have doubts and concerns for you but if you explain that you intend to take it slowly and see how things work it may allay their fears. However, it is going to happen and, much as you would like their support, this is something you feel strongly you have to do for you.
 
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There’s a world of enjoyment to be had in between hacking at one end and stress of trying for teams at the other .
You need to find the level of competitive effort that’s right for you that’s one great beauty of dressage you can enjoy it without ever going to show if you choose to and all points in between it can all be about the journey if you choose .
I would explain that you miss riding ,that you are more mature now and understand the issues that you went through and that this is different .
Good luck with it all just talk to them think it through before hand and just do it .
 
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