.getting ny confidence back ?

[meg456]

long paragraph alert!!
in the last few months i have become really nervous to ride, even walking around while being led makes me nervous.
im 16 and went to a riding school for about a year when i was around 9 then had a while off because it closed down, then went to another -that closed down. i went to another but it was too far away.
a few months ago my parents said i could have a horse so i did a stable managment course. i wasnt nervous or riding atall and was exiting to ride again. we bought my first pony, he was 14.1 5 year old described as good for novice/nervous rider. he was very safe in traffic but napped when riding in a field or going out of the farm lane. he knocked my confidence i tried to work with him but i got even more nervous, after about 5 months we decided to sell him. i wanted another one that was older and i spent more time looking for the right one, viewed a few that werent right and then found my mare.
i thought that i would be able to just get in and be fine as she had recently taught a nervous rider and got their confidence.
she is 15.1 so is bigger but more suitable size for me.
i jave only got on her once in the week we have had her. i was being led whilst walking and had to get off.
is there a way i can get my confidence back? i waited a long time (i know not as long as some people have) i want to be able to go and have a canter in the field and go out with friends but i cant.
sorry for the long paragraph, i just need some advice

 

[CMcC]

My first reaction is that it may be too soon for you to get your own horse as you seem not to have had many lessons or a lot of riding experience, I know it is difficult if riding schools close down or are a distance away. You haven't said much about your circumstances. Where do you keep you your mare? At home, on a yard, with other horses and ponies, other people who can help you? Do your parents have any experience?
I think you need to find some people who can help you build your riding skills and experience. Do you have an instructor? Try and find a local (BHS qualified) instructor, have a look at the BHS website and see if any instructors are particularly skilled in working with people your age and with unconfidenr riders. Also if you are on a yard with other horses/riders make friends with them and try and join in with them.
Also do some groundwork with your horse, just get to know each other build up trust and a good partnership. Get to know how she reacts to things when you on the ground so you will understand better how she will be when ridden.
One other thing, the more you talk to other riders you will find that even the most confident seeming are unconfident in certain situations or have lost confidence in the past so let people know how you feel and accept their help.
Good luck

 

[meg456]

My first reaction is that it may be too soon for you to get your own horse as you seem not to have had many lessons or a lot of riding experience, I know it is difficult if riding schools close down or are a distance away. You haven't said much about your circumstances. Where do you keep you your mare? At home, on a yard, with other horses and ponies, other people who can help you? Do your parents have any experience?
I think you need to find some people who can help you build your riding skills and experience. Do you have an instructor? Try and find a local (BHS qualified) instructor, have a look at the BHS website and see if any instructors are particularly skilled in working with people your age and with unconfidenr riders. Also if you are on a yard with other horses/riders make friends with them and try and join in with them.
Also do some groundwork with your horse, just get to know each other build up trust and a good partnership. Get to know how she reacts to things when you on the ground so you will understand better how she will be when ridden.
One other thing, the more you talk to other riders you will find that even the most confident seeming are unconfident in certain situations or have lost confidence in the past so let people know how you feel and accept their help.
Good luck

im on a yard with other people, i have help on the ground but only 2 people actually ride their horses and thats only once a week and their horses are a bit misbehaved, known for bucking, bolting, scared of traffic etc , thats what made me even more nervous when one of them had a bit of a meltdown on a busy road whilst i was riding with them. another time a friend that rode some distance to ride with me got thrown off when her horse bolted and bucked. my parents have no experiece, and at the moment after buying her cant afford to fork out for an instructor, but will be looking into it in a few weeks. i agree that i was thrown into the deep end but i knew that she would be looked after so thats the important thing �� ive walked her around the village leading her and can see that she is good with traffic, a van pushing past very closely on a country lane and she let a tractor go past quite closely no problem.
thanks for your reply, ill have a look for some instructors in the area

 

[be positive]

im on a yard with other people, i have help on the ground but only 2 people actually ride their horses and thats only once a week and their horses are a bit misbehaved, known for bucking, bolting, scared of traffic etc , thats what made me even more nervous when one of them had a bit of a meltdown on a busy road whilst i was riding with them. another time a friend that rode some distance to ride with me got thrown off when her horse bolted and bucked. my parents have no experiece, and at the moment after buying her cant afford to fork out for an instructor, but will be looking into it in a few weeks. i agree that i was thrown into the deep end but i knew that she would be looked after so thats the important thing �� ive walked her around the village leading her and can see that she is good with traffic, a van pushing past very closely on a country lane and she let a tractor go past quite closely no problem.
thanks for your reply, ill have a look for some instructors in the area

Apart from looking for a good instructor which is essential if you want to make progress it may be worth looking around to see if there is a more suitable yard where people do ride their horses regularly and they behave properly so you can have some support, I have a small yard and the liveries ride most days, they ride together on a regular basis and if someone is nervous or having issues they will help each other, I also get involved so no one is left out or allowed to struggle alone, I realise it is not always easy to find somewhere else but being on the right yard can make a huge difference especially to a nervous or novice owner, seeing badly behaved horses around you will not be helpful for your confidence and it may be having a detrimental effect on your horse as well, unsettled horses will make other horses feel insecure so they all end up behaving in a similar way.

Your new mare sounds lovely, get the right support and you can start to build your confidence and enjoy her.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

How about taking her, tacked up, for a walk around the village and then getting on to ride her a few steps into the yard? If that goes well, which I am sure it will, next time get on her a little bit earlier. This does depend on you set up, whether your yard gate is directly onto a busy road etc But I am sure you will find somewhere suitable.
Build up slowly but make sure that you get on her for a few minutes everyday. Good luck!