Getting Priorities Straight.....

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You have to let something give somewhere.....sounds like going DIY with assisted turnout would do you great, or let him live out and get some exercise.

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That's just it - I can't find a decent yard that offers that!!!! If I could I'd be there alreayd.
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For a start, parents aren’t always right – I know, I am one! – but in this case they might have a point. There are several things to consider here. You work full time, you also have your musical commitments and interests, and you have a horse. You are newly on your own, so possibly feel a little bit floundery at the moment, although your social life is pretty good. I know you originally posted asking about sacrifices people have made, and most people seem to sacrifice their time and money. Out of the two, time seems to be the problem for you. I don’t think there will be a massive downturn in property prices, certainly forecasts are that there will be no huge crash like there was in the late 80s, more a slowing down. It depends on how long you want to pay rent for and whether you want to be paying a mortgage when you are 65! If it was me in your position, I would sell the horse and start saving for a deposit, using the horse money as a start. It really doesn’t seem good value for money as you only ride him, which seems a strange thing to say but for a lot of (mad) horsey folk part of the fun of ownership is the hard grind of horse care. If all you have time to do is ride, you can probably do that a lot cheaper than you are currently doing! Now may not be the time for selling him as you have only just got divorced, but then again it might be a good time to make a clean break and a fresh start. Only you can decide, but whatever you do some will criticise you for it and some will support you wholeheartedly.
 
mmmmm, food for thought there Sooty.

Thanks everyone for your points and constructive critism.

Think I need to see how things go for me in the next 6 months and then review again. I'm giving up my rented flat in August to move nearer to Epsom so maybe that would be the time to have a go at DIY and see if it fits around everything else.....

Cheers again
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Stimpy I live 2 mins away from you and manage to keep my horse for £200 less per month - He is on livery from Mon - Fri and then I have struck a deal whereby I do 7 horses at the weekend to make up my rent.

Saying that I was on assisted DIY before - horse got fed, watered and turned out (and mucked out when I couldnt get done) and brought in all for £35 per week, I had to pay straw and feed on top.

Sometimes you have to sacrifice the nice yard for that though - I was at Brakes - and I could not fault the care of my horse, but the yard was a mess.

On the flip side of the coin I could NEVER do full DIY I would have to seriousely consider my options. I am permanently exhausted from commuting as it is and cannot think what having to get up at 5 daily would do to me, as well as my horse as he def would not get ridden so much.
 
That's a great thing you have worked out - unfortunately I couldn't put in the time to do 7 other horses!!! I rehearse on a saturday but do have a girl that rides him on Saturdays for me....she's moving to the new yard too though with another horse.

Won't go to Brakes because of the barbed wire fencing - already lost one horse to it......or have they changed it now?
 
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So if you can't ride Saturday either does that mean you are only able to ride on Sundays?

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I ride Mon - Fri (schooling) then Sundays. although that will now change as he's on full on the Saturday so will probably get schooled for an hour then hacked out afterwards.....
 
If I'm honest, I wonder if I'd even be contemplating getting rid of him if we hadn't been having the issues that we've been having. We're coming out of the other side of it though so hopefully by the summer I'll be feeling alot more positive about him.....
 
I genuinely can't get my head around someone paying £550 a month to hack out on a Sunday.

That is not a criticism, far from it, I'm impressed that you love your horse enough to do it but sheesh!!!!
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Surely having a horse is not just about hacking it out though?

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No of course not and that was kind of my point- perhaps I am getting muddled but from what you have said I was under the impression the horse was on full livery all week bar Sunday?

Well anyway, great that you will be able to enjoy him more come March
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I think you need to try and sit down and have a good, hard think about whats important to you.

Full livery is great - but its a luxury and it's expensive. Mine is on full livery and we give up a hell of a lot to keep him there. Im somewhat similar to you in that the DIY yards around me aren't very good. I dont have a horse to just muddle by... there are certain facilities on a yard that I deem necessary for me to enjoy the horse. If i dont enjoy him, he goes and that's that.

So, looking at DIY or assisted. It's a much cheaper option but the fact is that there is a high level of commitment required. Horses stop being a hobby and start being a lifestyle. That's great if you have the time for it (and / or are willing to have it that way).

Working livery works well for some people but you say it cant work for you. Equally it doesnt seem DIY is an option either.

You obviously have a reasonable level of commitment to your music and it clearly takes up a chunk of your time. The thing is, this isn't going to go down. More than likely it will go up.

Something obviously has to give.... if you dont mind renting for the forseeable future - then keep doing it and muddle along as you are. If you're very keen on buying somewhere then obviously, financially, something has to give to make up for this. If the only "give" possible is in the horse's livery then you either have to make the time to do him yourself or don't make the time and let him go (either on loan or for sale).

Just be aware that if you loan him, things can always go wrong and usually at the worse possible time - i.e. when finances are ultra tight and you really cant afford to have him back. There is then always the chance that it's hard to find someone else to loan him.

Unfortunatly it's a reality that most of us can't have it all ways and a nice house. plus full livery is a dream for a lot of people. In terms of practicalities, then finding somewhere to buy rather than throwing money after rent is probably the sensible thing to do - even if this means parting with the horse. For some though, practicalities go out of the window and when push comes to shove, the horses will come first over everything else.

I think you need to work out what it is you really want :|
 
Sorry - I use the term full livery for everything bar riding! Must stop calling it that!

No he's on part livery - so I ride/groom/clean tack but don't muck out......

A good rider I know is schooling him on Saturdays for me but I'm planning to take him out for a hack afterwards....that horse needs alot of exercise!
 
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For some though, practicalities go out of the window and when push comes to shove, the horses will come first over everything else.

I think you need to work out what it is you really want :|

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I hear what you're saying. Problem is I really don't think I'd be happy without him. He keeps me sane in the otherwise stressful work/music world! I think the way property prices are it's best for me not to buy anyway at the moment. I guess it's just hard giving up a lovely house etc for renting. Although some people never have the luxury of owning their own house.

The most important thing is that he's happy - he wouldn't be happy without work and during the winter I'd struggle to do all the chores and ride.....which I know is my lifestyle decision.

God, who the hell am I kidding. I think I'll just have to wait till I'm earning more before I buy
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Sorry - I use the term full livery for everything bar riding! Must stop calling it that!

No he's on part livery - so I ride/groom/clean tack but don't muck out......

A good rider I know is schooling him on Saturdays for me but I'm planning to take him out for a hack afterwards....that horse needs alot of exercise!

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RIGHT
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I'm with you!

In that case, ignore everything I have said
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I've skimmed through the many replies you had re this. It is a very difficult decision to make so I don't envy you. I wouldn't rush into anything though. It might be worthwhile writing down all the costs involved with having your own place and then compare to renting and having your horse? The other question to ask yourself is would you be happy either sharing him or selling him? If you had more time on your hands what would you do instead and would this cost you financially? It can get very lonely on your own trust me. People who I work with are constantly amazed at how much I spend on my horse but then it is my choice, plus I don't drink or smoke and my social life is more going round to friends for a meal than getting p***ed down the pub so that costs less. The issue of whether you do DIY or not is really irrelevant IMO as this is very much down to personal preference, although money does obviously play a big part in this decision. I had Pidge on part livery last year as I couldn't cope and spent so long mucking out I didn't spend any quality time with him so I got someone else to muck out etc. However this year I drag myself out of bed at 6am in the week to muck out etc before work and then ride after work. However fulfilling and cheaper it is it is bloody hard work. I would go with the decision that makes you happiest, whether it is own house or own horse only you can make this decision as you are the one that has to live with it. Good luck in whatever you decide
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Thanks Pidge. that is my problem. Not sure I could be happy without him (how sad is that).

As someone said to me while I was going through the divorce - you're never lonely when you own a horse!

I'm sure I'll be able to have both soon, just need to get on with saving etc and possibly just get a studio flat for a year so that I can save towards the house.....a year isn't long is it?
 
I dont pay for the keep of mine. I work full time and with the mortgage etc the only way I could afford to keep him was to loan him out. He is on loan during the week for RDA and they pay for everything. Currently due to winter I only ride him at weekends and do not even see him during the week. Is the only way I could keep hold of him, I hate it but means he is still mine.

I dont have holiday as mortgage and debts are hurendus.

Worth it though when I go for a nice gallop on saturdays and spend time with horse. Eventually hope to be able to afford to retire him from RDA and ride more often. I don't drive either.
 
QR -

No disrespect to you Stimpy as you will choose to do what you wish at the end of the day and none of us can really make the decision for you.

This is really a general comment really; I just cannot fathom why anyone would keep a horse when they don't have the time or the finances to do it
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. Makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever. If I couldn't afford the time or the money then the VERY FIRST things to go would be the horses.

Horses are a luxury - and a blooming extravagant one at that. If I was in your position it wouldn't take me longer than to say "oh the horses have to go" to make the decision to move them on or to make alternative arrangements for getting rid of the financial/time liabilities.

*Edited to add* - if your so lonely.......buy a cat!
 
then IMO if you can't be happy without him don't be without him, and trust me there's nothing sad with that - Pidge keeps me going afterall
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there is no point in having your own house if you are not happy. Because of Pidge I hardly spend any time in my house. Yes its a lovely house with all mod cons but I leave home at 6.30am get in about 8pm in the week and then weekends are variable but a lot of time is spent out and about, especially the summer with shows on a Sunday. So I treat my own house more like a hotel
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A year isn't a long time at all, it will positively fly by
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Perhaps you haven't read the post Tia. It's not about not being able to afford the horse it's whether or not that's more important than buying a house at the moment.

I think, after reading the posts I'd be a bit of a fool to buy at the moment anyway as the market does seem quite unstable - just glad we sold our marital home before it started to slow down our way!

If I was struggling financially then of course I'd sell the horse - you need a roof over your head more than anything.

I have the time to ride him - just struggle to do everything DIY - I also don't think that my horse has less respect for me if I don't muck out his stable!

If I wasn't riding him then yes, that would be stupid. But I am.

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So if you have sold the marital home - do you not have enough for a deposit?? Presumably you pay quite a lot in rent - which would pay the mortgate. Get a two bedroom place and then a lodger.

A suggestion. Would never give up the horse......
 
Amymay - think this post has made me decide that I can't give Ty up!

I think that come August, once I have a payrise and hopefully a sharer things should be alot easier.

We walked away with bugger all from the house - which is resoundingly similar to 8 years of being together! Oh well you live and learn.

I suppose I've been made to feel quite bad by my dad who just brings up Ty all the time and how he's a 'waste of money'.

Funny how parents can make you feel guilty even when you're knocking on the door of 30! lol x
 
I have quite a nice deposit - it's just the mortgage repayments - don't really want to buy a one bed - would rather get a 2 bed incase I need a lodger later on down the line.....
 
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It's not about not being able to afford the horse it's whether or not that's more important than buying a house at the moment.


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So you can't afford to buy a house AND keep the horse? That was my point. No way would I ever put a horse over a house, even if the market appears to have slowed at the moment.....it won't be long before you are outpriced again.
 
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Although some people never have the luxury of owning their own house.



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I suppose it depends on what you term a luxury. I would see a house as a necessity and a horse as a luxury, not the other way round. But then I would not want to be paying rent when I had retired!
 
oh honey, your Dad's opinion that Ty is a waste of money is just that an OPINION its not his life so just take it with a huge pinch of salt, smile sweetly and seethe internally! don't let your parents make you feel guilty for having something good in your life
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