Getting Very Frustrated

Fools Motto

Fools Motto

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I don't even know if there is anything I can do about it, or even if there is a problem to be frustrated with!!
Anyway, 'we' have a springer pup - 12 weeks. She has been a very good girl, (house training has taken a step back but hey ho!) I can't really complain, considering, I didn't even want the pup.
OH has always wanted a springer, so she is well and truly his. He has been brilliant at getting up early to deal with accidents, and general care of her. BUT, the issue is with general training. He insists the pup - 'Rosie' , should be mentally stimulated by sitting, lying and rolling over, and rewards her by putting her on his lap, upside down and rubbing her tummy. This in turn, excites Rosie, who then bites, and chews on his clothes, which he allows, as it is 'her reward'!?
That, alone bugs me to the moon and back. Rosie then thinks it is perfectly allowed to do the same to the kids... can't blame her. I come in to the mix as the 'baddie' to tell everyone off! And then repeat.
Right now, I still don't have much love for Rosie, and probably less so towards OH. I feel so down about it. It shouldn't be like this, but what can I do?
 
Buy the pup/husband some tuggy toys, softish ones suitable for pups age. Encourage everyone to play tuggy as a reward, Pups usually get quite obsessed with a toy and will often fetch it and push it into any hand in the hope the tug game will happen.
Lol many pups wee themselves with excitment when picked up and rubbed shame she isn't one of those, I bet OH'r "reward" would soon stop then!
Try explaining to OH that you and the children really don't want your clothes ruined and you will expect him to manually replace everything that get torn. The though of having to go shopping might make him change his "reward"
 
I think you knew he was going to be like this. You pretty much said he was going to be like this before you got her. If the dog has no boundaries, you're going to end up with a very spoiled dog who you might not like much. One of mine still 'mouths', something I've allowed, but no way would he do this if there were kids around. Does he want her biting others and risking someone reporting her? Silly, silly.

They all have lap cuddles, something we encouraged. They have very firm boundaries, tho, they certainly know where the line is.

Have you spoken to him? Told him she's going to possibly be a disobedient adult who gets away with murder? It's all very well when they're babies, all cute, but you don't want a grown springer taking advantage. There isn't, however, much you can do. Rosie is his dog, so his manner of bringing her up is going to be the way, the only way. Unless you have a serious chat and tell him how upset this is making you, she will be treated as a baby forever more.

P.S If you want her to be gundog trained/in the field, don't let her play tug, big no-no! Can't you get him interested in gun dog training?
 
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Agree with CT that you can't give her chewy toys or play tug games if she's going to be a gundog

Sounds like the problem is the OH not the puppy 😄
 
I know full well the problem is him, not her! I'm not in a good mood tonight as it is, but he is driving me bonkers, and I'm getting upset by it.
Rosie has just peed on the floor, he is watching HIS film, and I've just reminded him about the wee... not a good combination.
I still feel bad, that I didn't want a puppy right now. I feel even worse that I still can't love Rosie, cute as she is, she isn't and never will be my sort of dog.
My kitchen smells of cleaning X wee, I'm surrounded by ridiculous dog toys that squeek. (the only one I like it the dandy brush!) my flooring has been chewed (there was an invitational hole it anyway) to the point of it has been taken up to just leave concrete.
And, what's worse is that HE now thinks it is OK to leave Rosie from mid morning til 5pm (my work hours have changed, as I knew they would), and to get my equally non-loving-spaniel mum in, to clean up after her, and let her out/entertain her for a few hours!?!
 
I highly doubt 'we' will go down the gun dog route, but have always said 'only have her, if training is done my way', and I'd get my competitive 'kick' out of it with agility, when old enough.
 
You really need to sort out this situation with him or this poor pup is going to start getting really stressed through absolutely no fault of her own. If he now doesn't want to do the caring for "his" dog then she should be rehomed with someone who will REALLY love, want and care for her. Situations like this, where one partner insists on having a dog when others in the hours really don't want to have one usually lead to to constant rows, the dog often being confined or put out of the house totally when"owner" is not around and quickly lead to a really unhappy dog.
This dog should never have been purchased in the first place, no one can give you advice about her unless you are prepared to take over her care and training yourself.
Get him to rehome her opr take over from him.
 
What a shame for the puppy. Tell him your mum can't come and do the pup -why should she?
He sounds like an idiot, tbh, and I feel for you. I can't see him rehoming her. Do you live together?
 
Yes, live together, married, family ect..
I don't 'want' to be sole looker after Rosie person, but if I did, then I wouldn't have a problem... I feel very torn at the moment.
The pup is fine, saying that. We've been having lovely walks meeting other lovely dogs, horses, and cows. She (apparently) is a quiet pup!
I'll see how I feel about it later, but got to go now.
Thanks for everyones input.
 
I don't really know what to suggest. You asked for advice about purchasing this pup and I think the majority advised against it, and sadly they are being proven right. I appreciate it is your OH who is the main problem here but unless you can get him to change his handling of the pup (and rethink leaving her for so long) then I can't see things improving. Perhaps show him this thread, and the previous one and see if that makes him see sense. I feel sorry for the pup as I fear this isn't going to work. :(
 
I feel so sorry for the puppy, it takes commitment from the whole family to make this situation work. A new home where she is really wanted by everyone is the answer. She deserves much better. Harsh I know but that is the reality.
 
Nettle123 said:
I feel so sorry for the puppy, it takes commitment from the whole family to make this situation work. A new home where she is really wanted by everyone is the answer. She deserves much better. Harsh I know but that is the reality.
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You posted precisely what I was thinking. Very sad.
 
I suspect Fools Motto, that you're heading towards an eventual re-home.

I've an idea, if she's been legally docked; short circuit the inevitable and send her here, she'll be happier too, by the sounds of things! :)

Alec.
 
I have a very sweet OH who is one of these people who has been bypassed by the training gene. Our terrier is nominally his, he walks it and takes him to work. In order to make the little terrorist behave acceptably, he has had a lot of training from me and at classes I persuaded OH to attend with him. In the interests of all concerned, you may well have to bite the bullet and get more involved with the pup. Once you start getting more involved with her, you will start feeling more sympathetic towards her and less stressed by the situation. Yes, your husband will in all likelihood keep spoiling her but you will become a moderating influence and your pup will know enough commands to keep her in line. I know it is not what you wanted but I do not think you have much choice now if you want to avoid an unpleasant ending to the problem.
I mostly ignore OH's behaviour towards the terrier but the terrier knows I am the boss.
 
I would keep it op but throw yourself into the training now - all 3 month old puppies are annoying when they're not traind exactly as one wishes - so focus on what you want -and train her to do these things. The dog is here now and sounds like OH wouldn't rehome so for the sake of you having an easy dog - grit your teeth, ignore him and train it to do the things you want to do.
 
First of all I would have my OH better trained. I would rehome the puppy now while its cute and you perhaps get some money back. You will have one big row with your OH, but better that than months of ag and sniping. Good luck.
 
Just sit down with your OH and kindly explain that you know he loves her and wants the best for her, which is why doing XYZ would be really helpful. It hardly sounds like you're going to raise a depressed, malicious dog, but you do need to make sure that she's not confused, because that's not fair on her. She needs to know that jumping on laps etc. isn't acceptable, and being rewarded for good behaviour by allowing her to do the very thing she shouldn't, is going to be really tricky for her to understand when she can and when she can't do certain things.

She's still only young - it's not the end of the world! If you crack on I'm sure she'll be great in a few months' time.
 
Nettle123 said:
I feel so sorry for the puppy, it takes commitment from the whole family to make this situation work. A new home where she is really wanted by everyone is the answer. She deserves much better. Harsh I know but that is the reality.
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This. Poor puppy - it does sound like whatever she does or however she behaves she won't be right for you as she's 'not your sort of dog'. I hope you find a way to love her - and get your OH to listen to your feelings RE training. Otherwise she should never had been purchased imo. I love springers, so admit I may be taking this a bit personally and being overly harsh! Good luck whatever you decide to do;-)
 
It's awful that this young pup is getting such mixed messages. You both need to be involved in her training, with an agreed path and reward system thst you can agree on. Otherwise, surely, this pup is going to grow up with not knowing what the boundaries are. And by six months will be a confirmed biter with little future.

All pups nip and chew but it should never be encouraged.

I've just had a session of rough play with my little dog. Lots of ragging, chewing (on her rope) and growling. But it's all play, with set boundaries.
 
Poor puppy :( I have to agree with those who say train your OH much better - no OH of mine would EVER act like that - and get involved with the pup before it is too late to ensure proper parameters are put in place
 
I'm doing my best to train OH. He does take on board what I'm getting at, but just can't help himself with 'doing it his way'. (he comes from parents who have an ill mannered springer, and his sister who bred this puppy, which was gifted to us.) Massive pressure from his family to have Rosie, as you can probably tell.

He is out tonight, the pup has been wonderful. I seem to enjoy her far more when he isn't here. Does that make sense?
I'm planning on taking Rosie to my work in the not to distant future, then I'm sure things will look up a bit for us all.

I sounded so selfish earlier, for that I apologise. Rosie is a lovely pup, I am fond of her, I'm just a whippet fan myself, so I hope all can see where I'm coming from?!?
 
Fools Motto said:
I'm doing my best to train OH. He does take on board what I'm getting at, but just can't help himself with 'doing it his way'. (he comes from parents who have an ill mannered springer, and his sister who bred this puppy, which was gifted to us.) Massive pressure from his family to have Rosie, as you can probably tell.

He is out tonight, the pup has been wonderful. I seem to enjoy her far more when he isn't here. Does that make sense?
I'm planning on taking Rosie to my work in the not to distant future, then I'm sure things will look up a bit for us all.

I sounded so selfish earlier, for that I apologise. Rosie is a lovely pup, I am fond of her, I'm just a whippet fan myself, so I hope all can see where I'm coming from?!?
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Sounds like you are a lovely owner FM - and of course you must be a fab person because you are a whippet fan :D What you are saying makes perfect sense, I hope I didn't sound too harsh in my response, I am sure she will settle down in time and will become a fabulous little dog :)
 
I have a cocker and 2 springers and I just can't see how they can't be your type of dog 😄 I know everyone is different and each to their own, but she does look very lovely!

Not really sure what to advise, other than a massive *******ing and reality check to the OH
 
We have a young collie/kelpie pup, we spend most of her waking hours discouraging her from biting hands and cloths, she is worse first thing when very excited, and loves to attach herself to my jeans when walking in the garden. I would be livid if someone encouraged her to bite or chew people. OH needs to understand the seriousness of his actions if she bites someone when older. We also use a playpen and crate for when she is left overnight, and when we leave her, which as we are both at home is not to often, though we do leave her when walking the older dogs so she gets used to being left.
 
A couple of recent Rosie pictures, for those who want to view!


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rosie%207_zpsqg26bky9.jpg
 
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