Gift for friend losing horse

Barton Bounty said:
It was a suggestion to the OP, not to yourself 😏
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Barton Bounty said:
No, Im quite sure there will be plenty along to like your post 😁
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I'm not sure why you have taken such offence to someone disagreeing with you and offering OP an alternative point of view.

I'm another who would not like to think of someone taking hair off my dying horse without asking. It's not about whether is hurts the horse, it is about respect for me and my privacy. Respect for boundaries and my horse. As a horse approaches the time of PTS, everything becomes more intense to me and I would feel that removing hair violated that privacy and special, intense time.

I love the idea of a felted model. Charcoal sketch would be ace too. What about chroming and mounting an old shoe, if it is not that immanent and the horse will be shod again? If shoes are to be removed, the farrier could save one?
 
LadyGascoyne said:
Perhaps you should ask her about mementos first. I would be fairly shattered if someone surprised me with that sort of thing. I don’t like to be reminded of grief when I’m not prepared for it.

I have a charcoal sketch of Lady Gascoyne but it was done when she was alive rather than in memory of her, and isn’t too distinctive.

View attachment 116556

I’m ok with that. I like it as an art piece rather than a memory, and I think it’s discreet enough not to bring me back to that feeling of losing her. Maybe that’s something to consider for your friend.
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That is a beautiful piece of art LG. Can I ask who the artist is? I can't quite make out the signature
 
I certainly wouldn't thank anyone for secretly removing hair from my horse or for a keepsake made from it. A photo/picture/model/decorated shoe, being rather less personal, would be gratefully received but perhaps not on the day. I think it would be better presented whilst the mare is still alive.
 
When my friend's mare was going to be put down I talked to her about what she might like and we settled on photos. I followed her around for the morning with my camera, taking pics of their normal routine as well as more staged following them round while handgrazing in one of the resting fields. She has them all on a memory stick and a selection in a digital photo frame.

I have a few things made from Archie's shoes - Rob at Wildfire Forge on FB makes some lovely things.

I'm another who wouldn't like someone taking hair from my horse - the horsehair trinkets just aren't for me.
 
Lurfy said:
It really depends on the owners personal preferences. For me a nice bunch of flowers was much appreciated when one of my horses was pts.
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Or if she has a garden, then a nice tree/shrub/rose to plant in the mare's memory. A lovely friend of mine sent me a rose when I lost my mare a couple of years ago. It reminds me of both my mare and my friend every time I see it. David Austin are a great place to buy from - you might even find one with a similar name to your friend's mare. https://www.davidaustinroses.co.uk/

Another suggestion is getting a photobook made up with lots of memories in it. You could also include notes, collected from your fellow liveries, of any funny quirks the mare has. When I lost a mare that I had had for 30 years, and who had been in livery for the last 18 years of her life with a friend, my friend sent me a letter with lots of little anecdotes in it. I still have that letter, it's a lovely read.
 
I have had some horse hair pottery made, a bit like this, not for a lost horse but just a general gift.
www.palmstrading.com

Horse Hair Pottery

Legend holds that horsehair pottery was discovered by a pueblo potter whose long hair blew against a piece of pottery she was removing from a hot kiln, stuck,
www.palmstrading.com www.palmstrading.com
It just required a few strands off a brush. I had a lovely tea light holder made. I appreciate not everyone will like it but it’s a different idea.
 
Red-1 said:
I'm not sure why you have taken such offence to someone disagreeing with you and offering OP an alternative point of view.

I'm another who would not like to think of someone taking hair off my dying horse without asking. It's not about whether is hurts the horse, it is about respect for me and my privacy. Respect for boundaries and my horse. As a horse approaches the time of PTS, everything becomes more intense to me and I would feel that removing hair violated that privacy and special, intense time.

I love the idea of a felted model. Charcoal sketch would be ace too. What about chroming and mounting an old shoe, if it is not that immanent and the horse will be shod again? If shoes are to be removed, the farrier could save one?
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No, everyone can agree and disagree? But its the constant requirement to quote the posts to point out that the poster does not agree!! Its not even their thread.

Not once on this whole forum have I ever quoted a posters post and said I dont agree with them when it was not their original thread, guess it all just comes down to people feeling the need to put their tuppenceworth in and rudeness to be honest
 
What about a donation to an equine charity in her mares memory, sorry I'm not a very sentimental type, just practical, I have nothing of Bear other than photos, mostly taken many years ago and lots of happy memories - oh I lie, I do have a large scar on my right buttock.

It's lovely of you all to think so kindly of her & I'm sure you will come up with the perfect gift
 
I lost a very beloved cat a few weeks ago. I wanted a keep sake so decided to buy just a little blue agate pendant from Marks and Spencer’s that I could wear to remember him. I didn’t want anything too obvious like a paw print. My cat had beautiful blue grey fur so it was a link but subtle.

maybe for your friend you could get a name necklace or heart pendant.

I also considered a memorial plant pot with his name and phrase of my choice engraved on it and to fill it with lavender plants to match his fur.

You could maybe get a version of this with her horses name.
 
Barton Bounty said:
No, everyone can agree and disagree? But its the constant requirement to quote the posts to point out that the poster does not agree!! Its not even their thread.

Not once on this whole forum have I ever quoted a posters post and said I dont agree with them when it was not their original thread, guess it all just comes down to people feeling the need to put their tuppenceworth in and rudeness to be honest
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I'm not sure I understand. You quoted my post so I would know which post you are disagreeing with. That is standard, I think.

I quoted yours as I gave an example where you seemed, to me, to be quite defensive of people having differing opinions. I was not sure why.

I was not intending to be rude at all. I wished to give OP the information that, although you would like someone handling your horse and cutting the tail without permission, others would be upset by that.

The intention of OP is to give something nice, I think a few of us who would be upset would like OP to have the opportunity to avoid making the owner more upset than they already would be. PTS is a sensitive time, personally I would avoid doing something that could potentially cause an issue. It is up to OP what they decide, as they know the owner better than you or I and are in a better position to judge whether it would upset or delight them.

I did suggest other gifts, which you may or may not agree with.
 
BBP said:
I have had some horse hair pottery made, a bit like this, not for a lost horse but just a general gift.
www.palmstrading.com

Horse Hair Pottery

Legend holds that horsehair pottery was discovered by a pueblo potter whose long hair blew against a piece of pottery she was removing from a hot kiln, stuck,
www.palmstrading.com www.palmstrading.com
It just required a few strands off a brush. I had a lovely tea light holder made. I appreciate not everyone will like it but it’s a different idea.
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I think these are great. A few strands from a brush would not upset anyone, it would be thoughtful and personal. Love it!
 
When I lost Homey I didn't want anything. My sister bought me a locket for hair and she still has the locket nearly a year later. I think it is very personal.

However I already had a cushion with his photo on and a set of his shoes that had been made into heartshapes which had been given to me by YO as gifts during his life whilst he was fit and healthy.

My friend had to PTS her horse this week and I went to visit her this weekend to help her. She is buying a small rocking horse like her horse and some friends popped round with some beautiful roses for her garden. She is also getting a tattoo.

I think it is very difficult to get it right with these in sympathy gifts. However I definitely would not be taking hair without permission.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is just being there for that person if they want to chat, and checking in on them occasionally afterwards.
 
Thank you everyone. Lots of good thinking here.

We’re going to go with a photobook so everyone can write down their thoughts and anecdotes. Her mare was chief babysitter on hacks so lots of memories to share. We’re going to ask if she’s okay with us taking some hair for a memento gift. If she is, we’ll do the horse hair pottery gift as well because it’s her kind of thing.

Regarding upsetting her at a sensitive time, we’ll be giving the gifts in August, not around the time that she gets out to sleep. We’ll also make sure to present the gift at a quiet time so if it upsets her, she’ll be able to excuse herself from the situation.
 
I’ve think it’s quite a difficult thing to get right because people are so different. I am very matter of fact and I don’t get particularly emotional, even if the horse I’ve lost was incredibly special to me. It’s just the way I’m wired- I’m very practical and just have a strange ability to box it off and move on.
I wouldn’t get upset or emotional about any keepsake given to me, even if it was given in the days after the event. I got my friend a small canvas of her horse, a year after she lost her, as a birthday present, and she got really upset. I felt dreadful!

I just don’t have that kind of emotion in me, even over people dying, so I’ve realised it’s probably best if I avoid those kind of gifts for others in future.
 
I would actually prefer to decide myself what/if I were going to buy a keepsake. I do wear jewellery but wouldn't want some associated with my horse. If a friend wanted to mark the occasion I would much prefer a plant or a bunch of flowers or even just a card. We do hav e some keepsakes but they have mostly been acquired accidentally/ incidentally e.g. the weathervane that looks like the Clydesdale and the rowan tree that the piebald cob used to grab a mouthful of, as she left her stable. We did buy a rose 'Buxom Beauty' to remind us of the Westphalian Kaltblut.
 
nikicb said:
I'm sorry, but I would be really upset if I found out someone had taken a pair of scissors to my horse's tail, even if it was done for something like this.
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Yep me too. Maybe its not such a good idea after all.

I'd get some photos taken instead.
 
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