Giving up competing

L

Loopypony

Well-Known Member
Joined
13 July 2010
Messages
228
Visit site
Sadly, I'm having to think of giving up the thought of competing. I did have dreams of eventing in the not so distant past, however I cannot bring myself to go out due to nerves! I can just about manage dressage without having a mental breakdown.

Does anyone else have a major major problem with nerves when competing?
I often end up breaking down and forgetting how to ride completely. I feel, in fact I know, that I let my horse down so much each time. I have 2 youngsters which I know I should be starting to take out but I don't want to harm their education by transferring my nerves to them.

So, can anything actually be done about my nerves or am I going to have to resign myself to the fact that I'm stuck at home/at fun rides forever?!
 
Only you can make the decision, but I think if it's affecting you that much, then the first decision is probably the right one. Whilst it's not something I ever suffering from personally, I have many memories of holding my friend's hair back as she threw up in the portaloo before a class - and that was before she had ever got on the pony and she was a semi-professional producer!

It still leaves you with several choices, but you could go on producing the horses, maybe building up to doing a bit of low level stuff when you're ready - and get someone else to do to the big stuff, while you be a proud mum on the sidelines.

As I said, though, only you know your situation and how you feel about it all.
 
ps I compete with no hope of winning (we are seriously slow) aiming to go clear/better than last time is far less stressful than going all out for first place...
 
You need to go out as much as possible and this really helps. Once a month is not enough and your nerves get better.

Everyone has nerves you can tell by the loos!! Sorry, but it's true!
 
you know i never think about it. And if i do i just think its like the dentist give it an hr and it will all be over, whats the wosrt that can happen & come bed time ill be laughing about this! Think that thinking has hepled me pass my driving test and get a couple of jobs x i only ever seem to worry at loading time, lord knows why.

Dont Suppose this wil help, but i hope you can enjoy competing soon x
 
Have you thought about hypnotherapy? I know it sounds crazy but I'd really lost my confidence especially jumping, yet want to event. I had a hypno session and went from barely being able to jump 1ft to now confidently jumping 1m and that's just after 2 sessions.

Maybe worth a go but if possible would try and find a horsey hypnotherapist who understands the problem
 
I am no good with dentist have to be intravenously sedated for that! But ring nerves definately go, the more you go.
 
I know where you are! I get very nervous. I do event at lower levels, and always come back grinning like the Cheshire cat after XC, but am a wreck on the way there. I have forgotten dressage tests, courses etc down to nerves too! I'm very hard on myself, which doesn't help.

Its easy to say get out more - work/finance commitments prevent that for me, and probably others.

I have a couple of Baileys coffees at the event to relax me a bit (luckily husband comes with me and drives..) Rescue remedy is perhaps another option?

You're not letting your horses down by not competing at all. This is your hobby - its meant to be fun, not endurance. Could you do some really low key local level low competitions hors concours (to take the pressure off even more) and see how you cope?
 
I suffer terribly with nerves and am ok so long as I am competing and training consistently. Problem is that my job is so busy that I cant always do that.

Am getting tons of pleasure out of OH riding my top horse though. Far more fun that doing it myself....and I get just as nervous at big comps, but dont have to ride! :)
 
Do you understand why you get nervous? Are you afraid of failure? Of what other people think? Are you trying to 'please' someone else rather than yourself? Do you suffer only from competition nerves? Do you have difficulty trusting your horse? What about when you take instruction from a new instructor? What about when riding on a clinic in front of people you don't know?

I started last season with a very bad bag of nerves - I didn't want to disappoint my trainer, I was riding a horse that was well known on the circuit that, in my head, people had certain expectations of, I lacked confidence in myself to make my own decisions in the show pen - you name it. One clinician tore me to shreds for 'absenting myself' and giving up on my horse before we'd even begun, he was livid with me but he really made me realise that I had my mental priorities completely wrong. If you have similar concerns, it is I'm afraid a confidence matter and that can only really improve if you confront it and just keep trying again and again... and it gets easier very quickly when you start using an appropriate and fair mindset, focused on you and your horse.

You can do this. Identifying the key concerns and then recognising the triggers that can cause them to escalate can put you on a solid path to getting over your nerves - smiling while riding can do a lot, too!
 
Like Hen said, you need to work out why you are nervous and mentally, how does a competition differ to when you are schooling at home. What type of horse to do have? A schoolmaster or a greenie? A schoolmaster is worth their weight in gold to get over those first time nerves.

I used to suffer terribly from nerves. My main problem was that I used to get worried about what everyone else though and I was also worried about letting everyone down. When I get nervous I have found that music really helps me, I am either listen to my MP3 player while getting ready or humming to myself when I am riding. Humming/ singing to yourself really helps, it keeps you breathing and provided you keep away from hard rock, it can soothe the horse as well.

I also get very focused before an event, the bigger the event the more drawn I get (earphones and music helps) and I try to be as organised as possible so there is nothing that can trigger the nerves.

Talk to your coach, personally I hate having someone warm me up but it can help some people. Just having someone on the ground to give you a bit of direction helps. Also start small, have a day out hunting, jump club or small dressage days. Over here in Australia we have judges days in dressage where you ride the test then have a chat to the judge and then rider the same test again.

The main thing is BREATHE! and I promise you, that first time you go through the finish flags cross country, they wont be able to get the smile off you face!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top