giving up hope

J

jordanross

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Hi guys i just wanted to share how am i feeling...


Tried riding daphi today before i even got on her she started playing up! I was fastening her girth up and she turned round quickly and bit me on the shoulder! shes never done that before and i have one of those humane girths?? anyway, i dont think i nipped her, but she wasnt very happy. Obviously i didnt shout or get angry.... ive come to the conclusion she deffo needs re schooling. so i need major help with that.


the past few days shes been very irritated.... i put it down to the large swarms of midges by my house, shes been being a monkey at night times too ! I go to get her out the feild at nights and shes basically at the gate waiting to be brought in...so no problems there. But then as we get down to the stable she stands square and doesnt wanna go in! eventually she does... but its like its on her terms and not mine.

also when i do manage to ride her.... i havent really got anywhere to ride safely round here... she spooks sometimes so i dont feel safe on the roads at the min. Im fed up! i kinda wish id bought something that was a bit more experianced... and didnt need schooling. when im angry about it i have terrible thoughts of selling her. and then i feel bad because i think that. sorry for going on just wanted to write down how im feeling.

Jordan
 
Sorry you are having a hard time with her
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- rather than give up on her it maybe time to consider a livery yard where you can get the support and help you need while you are both going through this learning curve - you can always bring her home when feel more confident and have more experience with her.

Sometimes we all need to just ask for a bit of help.

Good luck with whatever you decide.
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Is selling really such a bad option. I know you love Daphi but it would be better for you to sell her now to a competent rider than to keep her and let her get worse.
Or could you afford to send her away for reschooling and either have her back or sell her on from there.
You have such a great setup and could be having so much fun on something more suitable
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Have you considered advertising for a sharer perhaps...someone competent who can keep her ticking over so you can enjoy her too..
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Honeypots i know
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this is what i keep thinking! I dont have the experiance with her... I know this and will openly admit it.


I should of waited and gotten something for a novice. I feel wrecked with guilt though. the poor thing wont know whats going on. first she loses her mum ( previous owner) and then she gets used to me and i ditch her too... i feel wicked
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I really am upset about this and i just dont know what to do for the best.
 
Aw, there could be many reasons, is she in season? Is she feeling the new flush of grass we have had since the riany weather? Is she testing you out? Does her tack fit i.e have you had a saddler come chack it?
When were her teath last done?

Is there anyone on here thats local who could come and see you?
 
the post above your is looking for a share horse-not saying this is the answer but they are out there-how bout looking at local tack shops/riding clubs

oh......and gen grup/moody/narky etc is another sign of being n season --- sometimes like myself!!!!!
 
well two woman did offer to come over but nothing happened with that so nobody other than me has seen her at the min.

I need to start mixing with other horsey people thats for sure. there doesnt seem to be anybody around here with horses....which is strange. its out in the countryside i guess, maybe i need to start going round to local livery yards I know they exist! I just dont know what id say...I make myself look stupid enough on here let alone going to an actual livery. what would i say to them? >> Hi i bought a horse and have no idea how to control her.
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its just really bad. part of me sometimes wishes i hadnt bought an horse full stop. but when shes good.....it makes up for the times shes bad( well she isnt bad) shes just "difficult for me"
 
perhaps if you had some help and saw how daphi `could be` it was give you more confidence.

could you not start off by visiting your local tack shops and going to some small local shows?(on foot),horsey people are usually quite chatty.
 
Did you try Brian Seddon? He really could help you. I could come once or twice. I could perhaps help a bit but I'm no riding instructor/horse trainer, and you really need one of these.

Don't get upset, you'll either learn how to deal with Daphi or if you do sell you look where she's going to make sure its nice.
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[ QUOTE ]
Honeypots i know
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this is what i keep thinking! I dont have the experiance with her... I know this and will openly admit it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well good for you
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cos alot of people won't!


[ QUOTE ]
I should of waited and gotten something for a novice. I feel wrecked with guilt though. the poor thing wont know whats going on. first she loses her mum ( previous owner) and then she gets used to me and i ditch her too... i feel wicked
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I really am upset about this and i just dont know what to do for the best.

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She won't mind as long as you find her the right home. I don't obviously know your financial situation but if you do decide to sell I would recommend finding, preferably through word of mouth, someone that could perhaps school her on a little and sell her for you for a fee.
Horses just want to be safe and comfortable...as much as we feel they love us, they really don't care who provides it.
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its literally the one directly posted above yours, maybe you could find out where they were thinking of looking for one and in turn that may give you an idea where to look. just so you know, my current yard (although prob no where near you!) actually welcomes novices/happy hackers etc and we have many first time horse owners. we often have new liveries who say they tried other yards and felt they wern't welcome due to there lack of exp. all i'm saying as if you look hard you may find somewhere you and daph would be very happy!!
 
Don't give up hope!!

How about putting an ad in the local rag for a sharer. Make sure you find someone experienced and if/when they ring, explain the situation.

You could also have a good instructor come to you and teach. This will not only give you the confidence to deal with Daphi but also advice.

I hope you sort it out, as you clearly think the world of her, and want to do what's best.
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Firstly, I would change her girth. I find that the humane girths aren't so humane and do pinch, my TB left the ground on all fours when I asked her to trot in one. Fine in a nice leather girth.
Secondly, I would get a part sharer or instructor to come out and help you, advertise in tack shops, local classifieds etc?
Izzi
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Horses just want to be safe and comfortable...as much as we feel they love us, they really don't care who provides it.

lol honeypots ! I feel robbed now ha ha !!!


see! I feel terrible now and wicked... for even thinking it! I dont want to sell her i just want to ride her! Grrrrrr
shes a great horse she really is. shes ever so patient with other things. some horses dont like coming in from the field but she comes to call everytime. and she picks her feet up for me now ( at first i thought she was threatening to kick me) but she wasnt... she was being a good girl
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and i didnt realise...

I just wish i knew some horsey people...Im sure i could get her sorted out then. Im keen to get an instructor here... I just cant seem to find one. although i have had contact from boltonrider and he is going to pass on my details to a lady he knows... lets hope she can help me and daphi out.
 
thanks you guys
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you always make me feel better! and give me that little bit of hope i need.
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she is good! shes just needs re schooling. lol... ?

i think the part loan /sharerer idea is a good one. but as ive never done this before how would that work? all suggestions and ideas are welcome !!! how does it work etc?
 
[ QUOTE ]
Firstly, I would change her girth. I find that the humane girths aren't so humane and do pinch, my TB left the ground on all fours when I asked her to trot in one. Fine in a nice leather girth.
Secondly, I would get a part sharer or instructor to come out and help you, advertise in tack shops, local classifieds etc?
Izzi
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[/ QUOTE ]


the lady in the tack shop said the humane girth was alot better but obviously it isnt so im going to buy a nice leather one instead!
 
If you have the money, then how about sending her off to a professional to be re-schooled for a week or two? Expensive I know but you should see good results and alot quicker than if you were doing it.
Just a thought
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first get a glass of wine (pref large) then have a search on the brittish riding clubs website, think you can then select by region/county and go from there.
 
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Horses just want to be safe and comfortable...as much as we feel they love us, they really don't care who provides it.

lol honeypots ! I feel robbed now ha ha !!!

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Sorry....

Hey...this is the person who collects horses cos she can't sell!!!
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How about contacting you local Riding Club...they are a great way to meet likeminded people and find out about sharers etc
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http://www.boltonanddistrictrc.co.uk/

http://www.westhoughtonrc.co.uk/

Don't know if either of these are local to you?...
 
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I dont think she is! but she could be ? she isnt bleeding? is there any other way to tell?

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Have a read up on mares seasons .If you google or type it under search in h and h there are loads of related topics.They dont bleed but some are very uncomfortable and bad tempered in season and hate having their girth done up.I have mine on supplement for her seasons that I buy of ebay .pm me if you want details.
 
Awww don't give up on Daphi just yet. Firstly really try and find an instructor, maybe google riding instructors in your area, or there should be a list on bhs website OR go to a riding school near you, the nearest one, even if it's half an hour away (which im sure it wont be) and ask if they know of anyone or if the riding instructors there do freelance and would come out to you a few times and help you out? OR lol, ask your local tack shop, they're sure to know someone, in fact a RI may have a notice or something up advertising their services?
I think ultimately if it doesnt work out, even with an instructor than yes, i would consider selling her and getting something safe and suitable for a novice, you have a great set up at your house so it'd be a shame not to use it.
But i really would get onto that instructor ASAP!
 
Hey Jordan,

I didn't reply on your "entry" post but have to say it was a great read
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I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with your mare, I watched your video & she does look lovely.

Some suggestions that you can try before you decide to really give up and even if that is your choice you can't feel guilty, you've done her well since you've had her. Many, many rider/horse partnerships just aren't meant to be and all you can do is make sure she goes to a nice home but make it crystal clear she needs an experienced home:

Go to your local tack/feed shop and meet other horsey people and get some recommendations for a riding instructor.

Find out where your nearest riding club is, go along & meet people and speak to the instructors there regarding some help.

You could advertise for a sharer (experienced/competent only) in your local paper, again tack/feed shops.

Find your nearest livery yard & if you don't fancy putting her there, again you will meet people & you never know, word of mouth may find you some help.

If you can't find an instructor/trainer by word of mouth, have a look on the British Horse Society website for an instructor in your area, give them a call, explain the situation & see what they suggest.

Maybe lay off the riding for a bit if you/her are not feeling very confident, there's plenty of ground work you could do with her in her field.

Don't take her out on the roads if it's unsafe, you could tack her up & just spend time walking around her field, just in walk only until you build up some confidence.

I'll keep thinking but I feel you just need some experienced help to at least start you off.
 
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