Giving up horses. Experiences please

[bertin12]

I've beent poking for a new horse to buy after retiring my current pony, but I'm struggling to find any horses that look like what I'm after, and the couple that I have found haven't worked out for various reasons.
My retired gelding is now on full grass livery so I only have to go when I like, which is generally twice a week on my days off. When I first moved him I was so excited for lie ins ( well, 7am!) but thought I would gradually start to miss being with horses every day. Turns out that I dont. I feel so much less drained and tired. When he was on diy I'd be there between 6 20 & 6 40 on days I was working, and at about 7 on my days off, and I wouldn't get home until 6 30ish in the evening. Bearing in mind I have a very active job (busy boarding kennels) so am always on the go at work too.
If you saw my post a couple of weeks ago you'd have seen I was contemplating moving yards. Well I'll still got my stable at my diy yard as the plan was to settle my gelding into his new place and then buy another. But the more I think about it the less I actually want a new horse.
I love the riding aspect but tbh I think i lost my passion for it a long time ago, but just Carried on as I didn't want to sell my gelding.

I'm very tempted to give up horses, well mostly. I am thinking of still have riding lessons once a week as I enjoy them, but not look to buy another horse. Has anyone else done this? Was it a good or bad choice for you? I'll still keep my gelding so won't be completely cut off but I think I've reached that point where I need time away. Plus i would like to have money to actually spend on myself!!

Sorry for the rambly post, just needed to write it all down somewhere!!

 

[Sheep]

I think you have hit the nail on the head. Why not just have lessons weekly if that is what you want? You can always buy another horse in the future if you want to. No need to do it right away. What I would suggest is that you save the money you would have spent on new horse livery etc, put it aside and either you will have a sizeable fund in the future to buy new horse, or if you decide you definitely don't want another, you will have money to spend on whatever you want.

 

[Hilary'smum]

Perhaps you need a horse break to consider all the options. You still have your gelding so no awful cold turkey withdrawal systems. Good luck whatever you decide

 

[Sprig]

No harm in having a break. I 'gave up' horses and then 6 months later decided I really would like another one after all but I was pleased I took some time out.

 

[Thriller]

I've recently done this. My loan cob is at pasture and my focus is now solely on little horses. I plan to eventually get lessons and maybe try a few hacks with friends but for the near future I will not be looking for a large horse.

 

[bertin12]

I think you have hit the nail on the head. Why not just have lessons weekly if that is what you want? You can always buy another horse in the future if you want to. No need to do it right away. What I would suggest is that you save the money you would have spent on new horse livery etc, put it aside and either you will have a sizeable fund in the future to buy new horse, or if you decide you definitely don't want another, you will have money to spend on whatever you want.

I've already got the money to buy a new horse as I've got savings. I'm going to keep it and(try to) not use any of it and then like you say, at least it's there if I decide I want a new one eventually

 

[bertin12]

Thanks everyone

I've been thinking for ages to do some sort of dog behaviour course but having horses has always meant I didn't have time. Think it's time for me to do something for me for once

 

[aintgotnohay]

i have given up horses few years ago.was helping someone do yard duties free of charge but it didnt work out as she took the piss.i didnt miss it when i gave it up.after a week i was relishing the spare time i had.im now a poodle breeder and enjoying this so much more.if your heart aint in it give it up.

 

[bertin12]

i have given up horses few years ago.was helping someone do yard duties free of charge but it didnt work out as she took the piss.i didnt miss it when i gave it up.after a week i was relishing the spare time i had.im now a poodle breeder and enjoying this so much more.if your heart aint in it give it up.

I think my passion now lies with dogs rather than horses. Just took a while to realise it!!

 

[aintgotnohay]

I think my passion now lies with dogs rather than horses. Just took a while to realise it!!

go for it hun.do your dog behaviour course.i enjoy the poodle breeding so much.i was doing crosses but i have stopped now and just doing good old fashioned pedigree poodles.if you want to ride or help other people out then you can.i love horses but not like i used to..

 

[beth21]

I sold my lovely boy a couple of years ago because I realised that with my career taking off and being a young adult wanting to move out, something had to give. Of course there are days when I miss it, but mostly I've never regretted it. I'm fortunate in that he's gone to a fabulous home and I get regular updates. I will have another one some day, but for now I have a lovely set-up that fits in with my lifestyle without forcing me to make any huge sacrifices. I can completely relate to you and believe that if you've lost your passion and it feels like a chore, take a break. It's a lot of money to be spending on something if your heart isn't in it.

After I'd had a break, I missed it a lot but not enough to get another of my own just yet. I put an advert up on Preloved to see if anyone wanted a hard-working, willing pair of hands to do jobs in return for the odd ride. I was inundated with replies and ended up meeting a lovely lady who didn't want any financial contribution, just someone to hack out with her during the weekends (and more if I want) on her second horse. I also have one riding lesson a week to keep on top of my jumping as I'm not as confident as I once was. I'm pleased to report that I am now enjoying my horsey time more than ever because it's a treat rather than a chore before and after a full day at the office.

It's all about considering personal circumstances and what makes you happy!

 

[bertin12]

I sold my lovely boy a couple of years ago because I realised that with my career taking off and being a young adult wanting to move out, something had to give. Of course there are days when I miss it, but mostly I've never regretted it. I'm fortunate in that he's gone to a fabulous home and I get regular updates. I will have another one some day, but for now I have a lovely set-up that fits in with my lifestyle without forcing me to make any huge sacrifices. I can completely relate to you and believe that if you've lost your passion and it feels like a chore, take a break. It's a lot of money to be spending on something if your heart isn't in it.

After I'd had a break, I missed it a lot but not enough to get another of my own just yet. I put an advert up on Preloved to see if anyone wanted a hard-working, willing pair of hands to do jobs in return for the odd ride. I was inundated with replies and ended up meeting a lovely lady who didn't want any financial contribution, just someone to hack out with her during the weekends (and more if I want) on her second horse. I also have one riding lesson a week to keep on top of my jumping as I'm not as confident as I once was. I'm pleased to report that I am now enjoying my horsey time more than ever because it's a treat rather than a chore before and after a full day at the office.

It's all about considering personal circumstances and what makes you happy!

It sounds like I'm in a pretty much exact position to what you were. I want to do more for myself work-wise and in my early 20's I want to know I can move out of home when I'm ready and comfortably have enough money. If I was to buy another horse it would mean I'd have to hold back on most other aspects of my life due to time and money.
I think a lot of people assumed I'd get a new horse when I retired my gelding, so in a way it was almost decided for me without me really thinking it through.

 

[Christmas Crumpet]

I am normally a mad keen hunting woman who rides before work in the dark, goes hunting every day I can and my life totally revolves around horses.

My horse injured herself quite badly just before Christmas and has been on box rest ever since and had an operation 2 weeks ago. I was gutted for the first week and then just totally relaxed and have been loving just looking after her and the mini companion. It does help that I have them at home so no fuss at all to just walk out the back door and I'm at the yard.

But I am so loving not riding at all. It is very easy to get out of and its only when you aren't doing it that you realise how much it takes over your life.

Obviously when mine comes back into work I will be delighted but I'm def. not resenting this time off.

 

[beth21]

It sounds like I'm in a pretty much exact position to what you were. I want to do more for myself work-wise and in my early 20's I want to know I can move out of home when I'm ready and comfortably have enough money. If I was to buy another horse it would mean I'd have to hold back on most other aspects of my life due to time and money.
I think a lot of people assumed I'd get a new horse when I retired my gelding, so in a way it was almost decided for me without me really thinking it through.

Being a similar age, I can totally understand that. We're both at an age where there's so many other things to focus on that take up both time and money which means having a horse can become a strain. This is turn takes the enjoyment out if it which isn't what you want.

If you decided to have a break, when the time comes you can always get another, have lessons, share, loan... There's so many options out there! I'm moving into my new house in April and I couldn't be more excited! This is something I would never have achieved whilst owning a horse because I'm completely financially independent of my parents and have been for some time. It's all about priortising and deciding what you can reasonably afford/make time for to ensure you get the most out of life.

As they say, life is for living! All the best with whatever you decide

 

[Sheep]

I've already got the money to buy a new horse as I've got savings. I'm going to keep it and(try to) not use any of it and then like you say, at least it's there if I decide I want a new one eventually

Or plenty of £££ to spend on whatever you want

 

[Deseado]

I've "given up" horses three times (I am quite old....) and always inevitably ended up with horses again. When I don't have them I love it; when I do have them I love it. I am planning now for the "last horse" which will take me into my 60's, then I will be perfectly happy to walk away from owning and keeping them, but I will always love horses. You are young; plenty of time to get another when you are ready if that's what you want.

 

[DragonSlayer]

It'll be happening to me in the next couple of years! Was thinking 4 or 5 originally but actually I think this summer will be my last. I have a cracking mare who is the perfect age to sell, I know she'll get a great home because of how great she is! All she cares about is who has the next feed bucket!

 

[YorksG]

Sis and I gave up for a while, when our first gelding died, when I was a similar age to you. We went for lessons, found that we spent the time schooling their horses, so got our own again That was a long time and many years ago, but think it was the right thing at that time

 

[Thriller]

Its funny what people consider giving up. I have given up riding for now and i still have two mini horses, one mini coming and one horse here on holiday and am planning this years show season and pleasure outtings and hacks with friends xD

 

[Patchworkpony]

Its funny what people consider giving up. I have given up riding for now and i still have two mini horses, one mini coming and one horse here on holiday and am planning this years show season and pleasure outtings and hacks with friends xD

Do you find minis fulfill you or do you find they boring after larger animals?

 

[FNC]

I have 'given up ' in so much as I no longer ride - a combination of losing my nerve a bit, and putting on a fair amount of weight (!) plus my mare is getting on in age. She is on DIY and I really enjoy the looking after side of things, but must admit if I could find a reliable full livery/retirement livery near by I would seriously consider it.

There is no question of her going anywhere - she is with me for the rest of her days, but if she lasts another 10 years that will be me in my late 50's and I really can't see me wanting the same level of commitment at that age.

Hope you work something out - maybe a break for a bit, with a few lessons if you feel like it, will help you make a more long term decision. Good luck.

 

[Thriller]

Do you find minis fulfill you or do you find they boring after larger animals?

I find i do more with them than i ever did with large horses. I went to the beach and riding school with my old horse but was never really confident to do much. The little ones are so wee i have no fear cause i'm not riding them lol i do plan to ride again but i will never aim to show or do anything big with them, its just not in me. But i'm planning driving showing with my little ones, and have three to show this year. They will never replace a large horse, but they are a very good substitute and im loving them and am most definitely a mini person now.

 

[Ladyinred]

It's different for everyone. I gave up horses for 15 years when I had my children. I was not a nice person during that time although having dogs helped a bit. Coming back to horses was like a huge depression being lifted from me

Whats that tea advert? something along the lines of their tea takes you back to the 'real you'.. that's what horses do for me.

 

[stormclouds]

It's different for everyone. I gave up horses for 15 years when I had my children. I was not a nice person during that time although having dogs helped a bit. Coming back to horses was like a huge depression being lifted from me

Whats that tea advert? something along the lines of their tea takes you back to the 'real you'.. that's what horses do for me.

Pretty much the same for me, but it was a break of a year, not 15! I had a bad experience with a young horse, and coupled with deciding to go travelling, I made the decision to give them up. However, missed them so much when away (eased by friends over the world offering me rides on their horses). Then once I got back to the UK, I moved in with my OH, in brand new city (right in the city centre). I went mad not being able to ride, got incredibly grumpy and felt purposeless. I'm in my early 20s, and for me, making the sacrifices and having no money has been worth it. I think that's the deciding factor - if you're not willing to cut things out, then maybe a break will do you good. Horses aren't going anywhere at the end of the day, they'll be around when/if you want to start again.

 

[Patchworkpony]

I find i do more with them than i ever did with large horses. I went to the beach and riding school with my old horse but was never really confident to do much. The little ones are so wee i have no fear cause i'm not riding them lol i do plan to ride again but i will never aim to show or do anything big with them, its just not in me. But i'm planning driving showing with my little ones, and have three to show this year. They will never replace a large horse, but they are a very good substitute and im loving them and am most definitely a mini person now.

That's good to hear. Do you find them loving?

 

[Costa]

When it comes down to it, if you are a true horse person at heart, you won't stay horseless for long. It's impossible for a horse lover to live happily without horses in their life whether it be taking lessons, or owning a horse. People who give up horses and never look back and still live happily, were never horse people in the first place.

I sold everything i had years ago thinking that the new chapter in my life would not give me the chance to be around horses, and I was miserable every day of it because i had removed horses from the picture all together. Those 2 horses that we have, are the greatest thing in my life other than my incredible husband.

Follow what your heart tells you. If you are a horse person at heart, you will find ways to continue to be around horses even if you no longer own a horse,

 

[Victoria25]

If the time came where I resented mine, I would sell them on - as there's nothing worse than not enjoying something you have to do 365 days of the year! x

 

[misskk88]

Whats that tea advert? something along the lines of their tea takes you back to the 'real you'.. that's what horses do for me.

Hit the nail on the head there. I 'gave up' horses for 6 months, whilst my horse was out on loan. I still had the odd lesson and I enjoyed that and I loveddddd the money in my pocket and lay ins! But eventually I missed all the care and companionship from my own horse. I was overjoyed to have her back BUT I really did need some time out. That time out is different for everyone, and for some people, it is a permanent choice. When my horses retires, she will stay with me and I will continue to enjoy the care of her. I have always said I would find another one once she has gone, but looking at how hard things are, and at a time when my career is taking off, I think I would more than likely look for a share with lessons, because that way, I have some security that I am not tied to things both financially and time wise.

If I were you, I would continue with your lessons, enjoy a bit of 'you' time away from them, enjoy the lay ins, and enjoy the extra money! That way there is no commitment, not worries about having to be up at early hours and late home. You can enjoy horses as you please, and then can make a decision whether to continue with just lessons, leave the hobby entirely, or if you find you are missing it, you can consider a horse at a time that is right for you, knowing you have weighed all options, having had a good solid rest!! You never know, perhaps the fact you cant find one that you like is a hint that at this time buying another is not the right thing to do right now.

Good luck whatever you decide

 

[bertin12]

Thank you all for the advice!!
Since admitting I don't really want to get another I feel like a weights been lifted off my shoulders. I will definitely keep on with weekly lessons so I keep improving and also keep In touch with the horsey world Incase i decide to look for a new one again.
I also have lots of horsey friends who would happily let me ride theirs, and of course still have my retired gelding to love & give attention to but without the 5 45 wake up!!
I've been getting up early and doing long days for quite a long time now and it's taken it out of me and ultimately made me lose the passion I once had. It's more of a chore now, and like some of you said that's not what you want when you've got a horse.

We're also hopefully getting a dog soon so want to have time to focus on that too

 

[Notimetoride]

Mine was pts in Nov. I have a new one coming soon but I really have enjoyed the warm, no mud and no early starts. It surprised me as I havenf been horseless for 20 years, but I am enjoying it