Giving up horses for a few years?

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Deltic Blue

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Has anyone on here given up having horses when they got to a certain stage in their life?

I've been recently considering giving up as I'm now 25 years old, me and my boyfriend will be looking at getting married and having children in the next 2-3 years, and I've come to the realisation that unfortunately I can't have it all, as many of us can't!

I had been toying with the idea of potentially selling my mare a month or so ago, she has since injured herself, which is only superficial, but has got me thinking that I really don't miss riding and I've enjoyed having the spare time.

It wouldn't be an immediate decision as it is a big decision to make.
I've only had my horsebox since December, but I've been looking at the money I could put aside from selling the horsebox, selling the horse and all her belongings.
It would add up to a nice chunk, which would almost be a deposit on a house.

So really my question is, has anyone had horses from a young age, and given up when the time came, to get married and start a family?

Also has anyone then got back into ownership afterwards?

My ideal would be, sell the horse and horsebox, then get a horse to share a couple of days a week so I could still enjoy riding, without the expense of the monthly bills that come with horse ownership.

If anyone has any experiences, please share, I'd like to hear them all :)
 
Deltic Blue said:
Has anyone on here given up having horses when they got to a certain stage in their life?

I've been recently considering giving up as I'm now 25 years old, me and my boyfriend will be looking at getting married and having children in the next 2-3 years, and I've come to the realisation that unfortunately I can't have it all, as many of us can't!

I had been toying with the idea of potentially selling my mare a month or so ago, she has since injured herself, which is only superficial, but has got me thinking that I really don't miss riding and I've enjoyed having the spare time.

It wouldn't be an immediate decision as it is a big decision to make.
I've only had my horsebox since December, but I've been looking at the money I could put aside from selling the horsebox, selling the horse and all her belongings.
It would add up to a nice chunk, which would almost be a deposit on a house.

So really my question is, has anyone had horses from a young age, and given up when the time came, to get married and start a family?

Also has anyone then got back into ownership afterwards?

My ideal would be, sell the horse and horsebox, then get a horse to share a couple of days a week so I could still enjoy riding, without the expense of the monthly bills that come with horse ownership.

If anyone has any experiences, please share, I'd like to hear them all :)
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People as they change/get older have different priorities so sometimes dropping out of the horsey world is no bad thing-like you said you could always ride someones horse there is always someone that needs help. Don't feel bad there is a few is us on here have been thinking of giving it all up due to Cr**p yards etc:(
 
I did. Just before I got married I put my pony on full loan unfortunately it didn't work out long term and I ended up selling him (I was expecting at this time) I missed him and horses but seriously don't know how I'd have managed and my oh is not horsey. Got back into it when my daughter was 4, she's now 18 and we both have horses. Don't feel bad about it you have to do what feels right and fits in with your life xx
 
Thank you both, your views are really helping me to believe that I'll be making the right decision.

It's only been very recently that I've been thinking about it, as my sister has just had her first baby, and there's no way I would have the time or money to have a horse as well.
It's really made me look at my future and how I see life panning out.

Me and OH have decided that I won't do anything this year, but look into getting her back up and fit again ready to look into selling next year, probably around spring time.
It gives me a while then to enjoy her and have a few outings in the box, and just enjoy her, as she'll make a brilliant competition horse for a ambitious teenager/adult as she is only 6 at the moment and very bold to a fence and eager to learn :)
 
I gave up for the best part of seven years when I had my three children back in the 90's. I sold my bonkers Arab x to my sister-in-law when pregnant with my first daughter, rode a tried and tested pony up until 8 months, then jacked it all in.

I didn't particularly miss it, as I was kept busy with the children, but when my oldest daughter expressed an interest in taking riding lessons totally out of the blue, I knew that would be me sucked back into horses again! It was like I'd never taken a break.

Now the kids are 24, 22 and 20 and I'm still at it! They aren't, however!
 
mytwofriends said:
I gave up for the best part of seven years when I had my three children back in the 90's. I sold my bonkers Arab x to my sister-in-law when pregnant with my first daughter, rode a tried and tested pony up until 8 months, then jacked it all in.

I didn't particularly miss it, as I was kept busy with the children, but when my oldest daughter expressed an interest in taking riding lessons totally out of the blue, I knew that would be me sucked back into horses again! It was like I'd never taken a break.

Now the kids are 24, 22 and 20 and I'm still at it! They aren't, however!
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I would like to be in the position of having everything sold before I get married ideally :)

I was first going to look into putting her out on loan, but the likleyhood of me being able to get back into having a horse full time is very slim, and I would have a horsebox sitting there doing nothing.
Plus I wouldn't want the risk of her coming back to me from loan, I've had too many loan situations go wrong.
 
I gave up when I was about 22 and had no interest at all for over 10 years. Once I had a daughter who was 18 months and my horse came back from loan unexpectedly I ended up buying a pony for her to keep the loan one company. The loan one was then sold as she wasn't suitable for me then, and we now have 6 between us (2 are for sale tho!).

I would say I am enjoying it more now than ever and am living the dream of my 12yr old self.
 
After having six of my own over the course of ten years, I 'gave up' in Aug/Sept 2014.

I've ridden once since then (went to visit a Welsh I'd sold) and I felt like I hadn't missed a day.

The responsibility, time & money involved with them just really started to grate on me and I decided I wanted a break from it all - I don't regret it either. In fact, now I've been without for a while, I've realised just what a tie they are.

Don't get me wrong, I loved all my horses and the time I spent with them. But bloody hell; I don't miss the cold, wet days, the constant bills and the daily slog of it all.

I like knowing I get to ride when and what I want now, and hand it back at the end ;)
 
SpringArising said:
After having six of my own over the course of ten years, I 'gave up' in Aug/Sept 2014.

I've ridden once since then (went to visit a Welsh I'd sold) and I felt like I hadn't missed a day.

The responsibility, time & money involved with them just really started to grate on me and I decided I wanted a break from it all - I don't regret it either. In fact, now I've been without for a while, I've realised just what a tie they are.

Don't get me wrong, I loved all my horses and the time I spent with them. But bloody hell; I don't miss the cold, wet days, the constant bills and the daily slog of it all.

I like knowing I get to ride when and what I want now, and hand it back at the end ;)
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This is what is worrying me at the moment, as I just feel like I'll never be in the position financially to own my own home whilst I have horses.

I love my horse to bits and will be gutted when I do sell her, but I've had horses since I was 18, been riding since I was 9, and only had the 1 break for a year when my old horse was PTS.

I feel that now is the time to focus on my future and not be constantly worrying about money and time spent on the horses.
 
I guess it depends on where your priorities lie, and you seem to have decided that already :)

I am happy knowing i will never buy my own home because horses are my life. I'd rather have my horses as my hobby and be happy having them to do daily, than buy a house and not be able to afford horses or a life - but that's my decision and one i made many many years ago :)

However, i do need to win the lottery asap :D
 
the fact that you are thinking about it shows you should consider your plan. very sensible.
However: I have done the opposite to you! In the last year I have got married, bought a house and now expecting! 3 months after my OH proposed I added 2 more ponies (took on as a project to help owner and still have them both!). Family helped with cost of wedding (relatively small and cozy) and we got a deposit from inheritance (not ideal to lose grandparents obviously! we had started saving anyway and even all 4 of mine sold would get no where near a deposit!)
I'm not entirely sure how I will mange it all! but my 4 are happy living out now the grass has grown, so are kept as cheaply as possible. I know it will be hard but I cant imagine not having my horses. my OH is not horsey but understands. I like the care side as much as the riding (although currently missing the riding :( )
 
Crackerz said:
I guess it depends on where your priorities lie, and you seem to have decided that already :)

I am happy knowing i will never buy my own home because horses are my life. I'd rather have my horses as my hobby and be happy having them to do daily, than buy a house and not be able to afford horses or a life - but that's my decision and one i made many many years ago :)

However, i do need to win the lottery asap :D
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In an ideal world, I would have both, but it's just not going to be practical :(

OH has a plan that he will earn enough that I will only have to work part time, and we can (eventually) have a house with land etc.
That is very far in the future!

I've always wanted children and with my new niece, it has just confirmed how much I really want a family and something will have to give for me to have that, and sadly it'll have to be the horses.

Luckily after selling the horsebox, which should get me around 10-11k and then selling the horse, I should be left with a nice amount to put towards a budget for a house.

It's a sad thought to think I won't have a horse, but it'll also be a bit of a relief financially to not have to worry about the money spent on horses.

And being realistic, I'm not a brave rider, so I don't think I'd ever be out competing all that often to justify keeping my horsebox.
 
I gave up when I hit my late teens and never thought I would go back to riding. Fast forward to five years ago when I was 32 and I had brought my first house I was further out in the country and happened across an advert looking for a type of help/ share which pushed me back into the horsey world where I have been ever since. Nearly a year ago I put my horse out on loan because I wanted a break and actually I was considering selling him and just not being horsey anymore but in a twist of fate we are now buying a property which comes with land and stables and I cant wait to have him back and throw myself wholeheartedly back into horse ownership where I know I will probably stay for the rest of my days :)

Take a break, if you come back you come back, the passion and love for horses never leaves us but sometimes life changes direction for a while and we get different priorities in life. I would say one thing though .. buy the house, get married but for gods sake don't have children .. don't feel brainwashed to have brats just because everyone else is! Awful damn things they are, time consuming, expensive, life destroying .. Yuk!!! Buy house, get married, by a horse and have a wonderful life. No need for all this god awful child owning rubbish!!! n.b yes I am deadly serious, no I am not joking aout brats!
 
I would say definately sell up and pursue a wonderful wedding, marriage, house purchase. You can always have your own again in the future and there is no need to struggle. I wish I had done the same at your age, it's a very sensible decision.
 
Yep I'm starting to feel the same way- I'm 25 now and have had my own since I was 18 but am starting to get to the point where I'm really not enjoying the whole horse owning business as much as I once did. He's 19 and very neurotic and it wouldn't be fair to him to be passed on and nor would I have him pts without reason but I have more or less decided unless something drastically changes I will not be getting another for a while.
Think it really hit when adding up my expenses when recently applying for a credit card and realising just how much of my salary goes on the horse and how much the costs such as bedding / prascend / lessons etc add up. Then I think what I could be spending it on eg saving for a deposit as currently I'm nowhere near being able to move out and still live at home with my parents. Spring Arising can completely echo what you said about it starting to "grate." Glad you put it or I'd have felt really harsh saying it! Don't get me wrong I love him but the constant paying out for horse related stuff that more often than not ends up as poop is getting a bit relentless. I would never have him go without and hopefully nothing will happen to him for a while yet!

As my mum said when I was discussing it with her, you've done what you always wanted to but priorities do change but I've done what I wanted to do at the time. Lots of people I know are getting their first mortgage and at times I am slightly jealous.

I'd probably still be involved with horses but would look to loan or share a couple of days a week or even just have lessons.

I think what I'd miss most is the being able to just go for a blast down the fields as that is still the best feeling.
 
Yes! When I first got a job that was more thn just a job I sold my horse. That only lasted a few months, OH said I was impossible to live with so I had another. Sadly I was assaulted at work, and had a bad injury, and had to sell up for 5 years.

That did improve though, and now I am back in the swing, and there was a big difference when I came back after all those years. I was better off financially, and had a more mature outlook, so instead of doing bits of stuff I fast tracked to do what I had always dreamed of with horses.

I was happy that I kept loads of old tack in 3 big feed bins. It was like unpacking old friends!
 
I haven't read all the replies, I'm on holiday and somewhat merry! I gave up for about 10 years and although I enjoyed the break I've really struggled to get back into riding. Ultimately I regret the decision, probably not what you want to hear but of course, everyone and their personal situations differ enormously! Good luck in whatever you decide.
 
I worked with horses initially, but it became a job not a hobby, plus I started studying languages and had a year abroad then went to university. So I stopped being involved with horses at 23 and didn't get another until I moved back to the area that I grew up at the age of 35. In the meantime I bought a house and got my life more in order. Nowadays it's a hobby again. I evented, I built my own stable, I did everything I could never have afforded. I'm glad I had that break.
 
Thanks for all of your replies everyone :)

My OH is very keen to make sure this isn't a decision I'll take lightly, and I'm really glad he feels that way as he knows what a big part of my life horses have been.

But other than my break, which was forced because of my old horse being PTS unexpectedly, I haven't had the chance to really choose to want to take a break from horses. I didn't get the choice then, and I went stir crazy for a while until I could bring myself to buy another after the heartbreak of losing my boy.

We've discussed it, and I'll most likely look at selling next year come Spring, so I can have the rest of the summer to enjoy her and just have fun producing her for someone to go out and do really well with her :)

I think when the time comes I'll be gutted to sell everything, especially the horsebox, but admittedly that was very much an impulse buy, albeit a very big one, but I really don't justify having it at the moment, and it was a huge expense.
It's been nice to have it, but I know I could have it all again when I'm settled with a family etc in a few years time.
 
And there will always be people wanting sharers etc in the meantime, you don't have to cut yourself off totally if you don't want to, you will just have more money and freedom!
 
I have up horses when I left home at 18. I rode on and off for the next 30 years then got my current horse at the age of 48, mortgage was paid off and the kids are all grown up so it's never too late. The good thing now is that if I want something for him I have the money to buy it ( within reason). Am loving it x
 
I kind of gave up horse riding when I went to uni. Only had lessons during the summer and sometimes not even then. I didn't miss it as much as I thought I would. Think i just accepted it was part of the deal with getting an education. Couldn't afford both.

Personally though I wouldn't sell my horse. Yeah sure for the price I could get for him would be a deposit on a house but I would lose him. I just couldn't do it to him I doubt anyone else would put up with his quirkiness like i do and people who knew him before I bought him have said they have never seen him be so kind and quiet. Chances are he would hate his new owner and they would want a refund so i would end up with him again anyway.

So yeah need to find a guy that is willing to accept I come as part of a package deal. The horse isn't going anywhere. Poor guy :P
 
Deltic Blue said:
It's been nice to have it, but I know I could have it all again when I'm settled with a family etc in a few years time.
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That's exactly it, and as Honey08 said, there's nothing to say you can't still ride or have a lesson every now and again.

At the start I was literally sitting in my home twiddling my thumbs, thinking 'What the hell do I do with all this free time?', and I probably did go a bit mad, but I've really gotten used to it and I can't imagine having to go to the yard twice (or even just once) a day now. Seems like such an effort!

Horses are hard enough when things are going right (which is basically never :rolleyes3:), let alone when they're lame/generally broken and you STILL have to fork out and do everything that comes with what's supposed to be the fun stuff.

Despite what the majority of horsey folk seem to think, there really is more to life than horses.
 
I gave up at 20 years old, when my first horse was PTS and I was getting disillusioned with the realities of life working in a RS. Started doing an OU degree and changed career totally. I still rode on and off, weekly lessons at local RS or the occasional share. I got my own again just over 10 years later once the mortgage was paid off.

I've now semi-given up again after having my daughter, I wasn't prepared to sell my horse though so we made the fairly drastic decision to relocate to Ireland so we could afford somewhere with land. This way I can afford him and manage him time-wise alongside my daughter, even if I can't really ride in winter and don't currently have transport or much time so we don't do much when he is in work. Luckily my current horse has no trouble with this lifestyle :)
 
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