Giving up on my dream...

Cherrydan

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Hi Everyone,
I am writing this post as a very tired and emotionally drained lover of horses....I will get to the point.
I have a son with Autism and a baby girl, I also have a lovely horse too. My old ned has navicular, and i have very little time available to do any riding, but he gives me a peaceful moment on very lonely days. I ask very little of him and I have probably let him off more than i should have done, nothing major, but I havent been a confident leader, due to a previous ex racer putting me in hospital
I have had my horse over 3 years now, he is always good, until today.
I got a new bridle, and from the top of his field he heard the bit clanking, however he thought i had food, so came down to investigate. I said hello, and tried to put his headcollar on, to bring him to better ground as to try the bridle on. Before I knew it, he turned, ran and bucked out (really out of character)...I didnt react or move, was just shocked. He galloped away (he is in no pain) farting behind him. So, i felt betrayed and down, just left him to it. I didnt have a lot of time to go looking for him in the top field. Today, i feel like just pts as i have enough on my plate, icant guarantee his safety/home due to navicular, but i cant deal with more negatives, im worndown. I love horses, i know im probably in a lot if peoples bad books for even considering pts, but i have nothing left to give, my confidence isnt that great (if you put me on a rs horse, i am fine), its the whole own horse thing. I feel like a fraud. So, sigh, thats where im at. What do you think is best. (please dont be nasty, i am really struggling with everything....what would life be like without my horse...x
 

kinnygirl1

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Couldn't read and run. Bad days can get us all down, and you have so much on your plate it's easy to get overwhelmed but try to rest on it tonight and see what tomorrow brings. Horses can test us at times...we have all felt that despair but this too will pass and better times are ahead. Hugs.
 

Spot_the_Risk

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I'm sorry you're in a bad place at the moment, but what happened to you today is quite normal. The merest sniff of a bridle would see my 22 year old gone at speed, he's bad enough with a head collar. You're taking his actions too personally... Spring grass is coming through and he's feeling well. Life without your horse? Well only you can answer that but I think you would lose more than you would gain if you had him PTS. Cut yourself and him a bit of slack.
 

Woolly Hat n Wellies

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I don't have much that's useful to add, but I didn't want to be a phantom post-reader.

It sounds like spring grass hijinks if he's normally good. They have a real knack for picking the worst possible moment to be a total prat! I hope you can find yourself some quiet time to think it over and come to the decision that's right for you and him. If you find being with him gives you some peace and much-needed rest might you consider retiring him from riding and just enjoying his company from the ground, maybe a brush and a fuss in the field? Whatever you decide, I find things often look far worse at 11pm. I recommend a hug, a sleep, and see how things look in the morning.
 

Moomin1

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Good grief my girl won't look at me for dust at the minute out in the field - she's too busy scoffing the new grass! Don't worry about it - that's horses for you!
 

chestnut cob

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Good grief my girl won't look at me for dust at the minute out in the field - she's too busy scoffing the new grass! Don't worry about it - that's horses for you!

This.

Mine took a heck of a lot of convincing to come in tonight. He really doesn't see what I can possibly offer him that is better than a huge field full of spring grass and his best mate in the world to play with. So he plays silly games, lets you get to about 1m away then bogs off laughing his head off (if you can imagine a horse laughing!), all the time thinking to himself he's just about the cleverest pony that ever lived ;)

OP it will all look better in the morning.
 

honetpot

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I spent half and hour this morning trying to get escapees back in their right paddock, even a bucket full of food was not really a good inducement your horse is obviously feeling in great form and disappointed there were no snacks on offer. Try not to take if personally and when you do get to do some work with the b**** don't let him off the hook.
 

showpony

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Op it will all feel better in the morning! Your one brave lady producing bridle in the field... My made hides when bridle is produced.
I don't have much that's useful to add, but I didn't want to be a phantom post-reader.

It sounds like spring grass hijinks if he's normally good. They have a real knack for picking the worst possible moment to be a total prat! I hope you can find yourself some quiet time to think it over and come to the decision that's right for you and him. If you find being with him gives you some peace and much-needed rest might you consider retiring him from riding and just enjoying his company from the ground, maybe a brush and a fuss in the field? Whatever you decide, I find things often look far worse at 11pm. I recommend a hug, a sleep, and see how things look in the morning.
 

Cheshire Chestnut

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Don't worry about it OP - leave him to it for a few days and forget about him until you feel better, he will be fine. It will soon be hot weather and he will be ready to come in for some down-time in the shade but for now it's all fun and games in the spring grass.

Mine went out full time on Saturday and I tried to get him in yesterday, however after 30 minutes of 'chase me around the field but I'm not coming in' I gave up and went home for my dinner and a cup of tea. Pointless - I will try again tomorrow when he's had his fill of grass.
 
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maccachic

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It took me months for my mare to stop hiding in the corner when I tuned up, one day she wouldn't come up to me could have caught her but that wasn't the point - so I walk off and left the paddock as I was closing the main gate she was honing round the paddock. The next day she met me and put the halter on. Took 9mths she was an ex broodmare I have been breaking for her to develop a bond with me - maybe it time to try some different things.

I was watching the parelli DVDs I don't follow them regliously but they have some good tips in there if you can get thru all the waffling.

Even just the fact I have to turn up at the paddock in the middle of winter is good for my mental health.

May that day your horse simply couldn't be bother being ridden we have those day Im sure they do to.
 

Mike007

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Couldn't read and run. Bad days can get us all down, and you have so much on your plate it's easy to get overwhelmed but try to rest on it tonight and see what tomorrow brings. Horses can test us at times...we have all felt that despair but this too will pass and better times are ahead. Hugs.
Couldnt have said it better.
 

Bennions Field

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Op don't feel bad for feeling low, as others have said you have an awful lot on your plate right now, if your boy is not in any pain how about getting a sharer/loaning him out. It might take some of the day to day burden off you but without loosing touch/ letting go completely. You will feel so much better in a short while, and you perhaps will have more time for horses in 6\12 months once your baby has got into a routine or perhaps be able to be left with someone to allow some 'me' time. Take some time to work out what you want to do and don't rush into decisions. Its difficult to make decisions when you feel under pressure.

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do
 

Cherrydan

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You all have been so kind and understanding....for the next couple of weeks, i will just stand aside, outside of the field and let him get on with it. Yes, its a case of me being oversensitive, tired and such....
I want you to know that each and every one of you who replied HAS helped. Empathy is a wonderful thing, its also a relief to hear of the other faux ferals, lol...i even thought he may be going senile!
It did make me laugh imagining a horse laughing! He was cackling his farty bum off, while i stood there with a dropped jaw like a pensioner in Magaluf!
And when he has calmed down from his grass intake, i think we shall have firm but fair words.
Thank you!xxxx
 

maccachic

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We all go thru the why am I doing this days, then they make you smile and you remember why again.

They way to the majority of horses hearts is thru their stomachs so bribes of treats work wonders.
 

Ladyinred

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He's acting like a child with too many blue smarties.. on a sugar high that's made him very brave and not a little foolish.

Don't let it get you down, he is your escape and your me-time and he will get over the silliness in a day or two. Remind him he is lucky to be getting any spring grass, many are on bare paddocks already because it's so lush this year. We didn't really have a flush of grass here last year, if your area was the same then he has been a long time without his smarties!

It's nothing personal, just laugh at the silly old *** having fun.
 

TheresaW

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I'm another one that will say don't make any rash decisions. Have read some of your other posts, and you have a huge amount to deal with at the moment. I also think the spring grass is having it's effect. I had to retire my boy on Friday after a vet visit. He's been coming in every night, walking to the gate as I approach the field. As of Friday, YO said I could leave him out for summer. Went up Saturday, had to give him his meds, do you think I could catch the sod, even with bucket of feed in my hand? Could I hell! Took over half an hour of him power walking away from me, bucking at me if I got too close. Wouldn't believe he's arthritic the handstands he was doing.

Something that might make you laugh. Keeps making me giggle anyway. Went up with OH last night to feed Mac and his fieldmate Bren. I brought Mac out of the field, but Bren wouldn't come over. (He needs his cushings meds so had to be fed too). OH went down the field to feed him, and they were along side the allotments. Guy was working his patch, had a chat to OH whilst Bren was eating. Apparently, the allotment guys have been chatting to Bren some days, but as they didn't know his name, they have named him Richard!! I mean Richard! Nice enough name for a bloke I suppose, but definitely not for Bren. Has kept me giggling on and off anyway.
 

MrsMozart

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Ditto everyone else m'duck!

Loving the farty bottom image :D

The Dizz used to do that in August. Every blinking year. A week of her letting me get so close, then bobbing off shaking her head going Ner Ne Ner Ner Neeeeeer!
 

AdorableAlice

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You all have been so kind and understanding....for the next couple of weeks, i will just stand aside, outside of the field and let him get on with it. Yes, its a case of me being oversensitive, tired and such....
I want you to know that each and every one of you who replied HAS helped. Empathy is a wonderful thing, its also a relief to hear of the other faux ferals, lol...i even thought he may be going senile!
It did make me laugh imagining a horse laughing! He was cackling his farty bum off, while i stood there with a dropped jaw like a pensioner in Magaluf!
And when he has calmed down from his grass intake, i think we shall have firm but fair words.
Thank you!xxxx

Don't you dare give up. You have retained a sense of humour and being able to see the funny side despite being upset is so positive. The silly beggar is just letting a bit of spring fever off. With the pressure of home life and the responsibilities that you have a few precious moments with your horse will be your escape route.

I nearly gave up last year, so glad I didn't. The horses kept me sane, focused and gave me something to look forward to on darker days.
 

w1bbler

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My dentist was late to me on Monday, very apologetic as first client of the day had spent an hour chasing horse around the field before it finally stood still to be caught
 

YasandCrystal

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We have all been there OP and the problem is that when we have that precious window of time to do something with our horse they can sense the focus. I now never try to squeeze in something in a short window as it inevitably goes pear-shaped. Expect little and you will have success! Love the farting description - typical horse. Leading my filly at the moment is like flying a kite only more dangerous - that's spring for you. It will get better x
 

julie111

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Hi I couldn't read and run. Back in 2002 my youngest daughter was diagnosed with autism, I struggling with her behaviour issues and I was completely shattered. I owned a beautiful cob who I had so many plans with but I panicked and sold him:( I wasn't in a good place and didn't know how I could manage. Tbh I wish I had kept him it is something I regretted very soon after he went. Please don't make a decision you may later regret. I know have a rising 5 coblet who I totally adore, he is my escape and if I don't have time to ride it doesn't matter, just being around lifts me!
Just to add like others have said the grass is coming through now and they are feeling good!
Take care and pm if I can help or you want to vent xx
 

Fransurrey

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I don't know what your setup is like, CherryDan, but is there a way of sectioning of the field to strip graze it? Mine are now on 'summer plan' restricted grazing, which means I supplement with hay (one EMS and one sweet itch!). More extreme than you'd need, I bet, but it does mean that they're quite calm and wander straight over for a haynet/headcollar (going out in a headcollar means they're allowed to nibble at new birch/willow/ash/nettles). I agree with Julie 111 that just having a horse around can lift your spirits. They're very good for autistic children, too.
 

Mince Pie

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I really feel your pain, I had a welsh pony who came to me as a 4 year old after being dumped in a field and never handled since she was a yearling. She always was a shyte to catch even after 2 1/2 years - once double barrelled me when I tried to catch her - and it's sooooo frustrating! Luckily when my gelding tries the whole "you're not catching meeeeee!" trick I just go and pretend to give treats to his field mate, then he comes storming over for his share :wink3:
 

HaffiesRock

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Oh OP, a lot of people are experiencing this at the minute. Mine was an absolutely swear word today. Was called away from work at 8.30am as he had got out of his paddock and into the nature reserve behind the yard. Could I catch him? Could I bleep! 3 hours later I return to work looking like I'd be dragged through a hedge backwards. This is how I feel about him today

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You will feel better in the morning xx
 

ClobellsandBaubles

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I am sporting some rather fetching rope burn at the mo and they're not even mine! How about just taking 5 to just sit on the fence and take some amusing photos of hi sugar hi jinks farty pants maybe to frame and cheer you up rather than trying to do anything with too much pressure.
 

Cherrydan

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You lot are a blessing, and as i sit and type, i am grinning..
RICHARD! that is very funny! And the horse sandwich (you went to a lot of trouble to make me smile :)...I am glad to hear I am not alone (although that sounds like I am glad youve got spring loons! Honest, i am not, lol)...
.Yeah, it is funny that, whenever I have a goal, it seems like my schedule rarely meets his.
Hey, badminton can wait! LOL
He does fill a void in my heart though, and when its good, its the best. It just crossed my mind that if he was turning nutter, that I am at a place, where I am unable to correct it, and with him being navicular, i would have to do right by him.
I am going to limit his grazing, because mentally he is at an all you can Eat buffet with no closing time.
To the above, im sorry your horse had to be retired, but he is lucky to have you return his favours. Also, to the lady with the Autistic girl, many people will never understand just how difficult life is, for those affected, my heart goes out...im sorry you had to sell up, but i completely understand..sometimes I havent the energy to make a brew! I am lucky he is a laidback horse, who can be tacked up after a while, and he is good.Genuine good vibes to you all, and Thank you all for being a good friend with an arm around my shoulder, telling me to take my time with farty pants Daniel and never give up...Happy Easter everyone!
Love From Sherrilee.x
 

Adopter

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Just caught up with your post, did not want to read and run.
We all look forward to spring and the better weather, then the spring grass arrives and its effects.

Small children are hard work and parents are often exhausted, you have additional responsibilities with your son, sending positive vibes to help you through and hugs.
 
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